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Housekeeping

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Ruthless, hard hearted, take no prisoners decluttering! Has anyone done it?

57 replies

Fontella · 10/05/2016 20:11

Long and ranty - apologies in advance!!

Every year, I get rid of a load of junk, several tip runs etc. I also do car boots quite often, aand donate to charity shops and I'm always getting rid of stuff, or at least I think I am. If you came into my house you would think it neat and tidy and uncluttered because that's how it looks.

However, I'm thinking of redecorating the whole house this year, starting with my bedroom, so I was sitting here on my bed, looking around thinking of colours and where I could move furniture etc, and I noticed my bedside cabinet could do with a paint job, so I absent-mindedly leaned over and started to have a poke around in it. Confused

I then moved onto a jewellery box, and one drawer of my dressing table and now, in just a few minutes ... I've got a mountain of useless shit on the floor to throw out.

Bedside cabinet produced a moth eaten puppy dog soft toy bought for me by my first boyfriend decades ago which I've carted around for years (no idea why, sentimental value I suppose). A large hard back Collins English Dictionary with torn cover with 'to Fontella with love' written on the flap, bought for me
pre-internet by another boyfriend. A load of paperbacks and other books that I will never read, even some newspaper cuttings that I am completely bemused as to why I cut out in the first place and reading them now, gives no clue?! The jewellery box wielded up (some broken) earrings, beads and bangles, old watches and all sorts, some of them nice admittedly, but things I haven't worn in years and am never likely to. The drawer has produced several make up bags (some used some not) a couple of purses, plus soaps. lotions and potions going back years, that I will never use either.

How do we accumulate all this stuff? Why do we hang onto it for so long? Just because it's hidden from view in drawers and cupboards it's still useless clutter that we don't need and now I've started, I just want to get rid of the whole fucking lot!!

Just sitting here thinking about it, I feel hemmed in, surrounded by it - and it's the most horrible feeling. Even the airing cupboard is full of (neatly folded admittedly) piles of duvet covers and pillow cases and blankets and throws and dozens of towels, lots of which I've had for years and probably use about 10% of. It all looks very organised and tidy when you open the door, but the fact is, the same bedding gets washed and re-used while 9/10ths of the pile sits there untouched. Likewise the towels.

So why have I got enough bedding and towels for an army dormitory? Why? Why do I keep all this shit? I've got drawers and book cases and CD racks, and bathroom cabinets and cupboards in various rooms that I know are full of more things I never use, plus stuff in the loft that never sees the light of day from one year to the next.

I can see now that my previous decluttering has always been cosmetic, just skimming the surface, and that hidden away in my 'neat and tidy' house/life, is a whole load of crap that does nothing other than fill space. I want to order a skip and just hurl the whole lot in.

I want to get rid of it all, even the 'sentimental' stuff. It's just all shit, that when I die (as we all must some day) my kids are going to have to go through it all. I used to volunteer in a charity shop and people were always coming in with bin bags and boxes of stuff when a parent or relative had passed away - whole CD collections, pots, pans, ornaments, clothes - the whole paraphernalia of someone's life.

I want it all gone, the whole bloody lot of it, and in its place - just empty space and neatness and knowing my dressing table and airing cupboard and bathroom cabinet only have things in them I actually use, not a whole load of other shit that just lurks there doing nothing. I don't know what has brought this on, or why I feel like it, but I want to do it, so bad.

Has anyone else felt like this and if so, did you do it - a really, ruthless clear out of even sentimental and nostalgic items that you've kept for years?

OP posts:
pickledsiblings · 12/05/2016 19:06

Oh you lucky thing Bobo.! Hope the move goes well. You deserve something lovely after the year you have had. Much sympathy for the passing away of your parents. I went a bit 'mad' when I no longer had parents. I remember being in Madrid at an amazing gallery and suddenly feeling overwhelmed with …I don't know what (?). Anyway, happy moving!

BoboChic · 12/05/2016 19:35

Thanks pickled. It has indeed been an epic year - my mother, my father and my brother-in-law no longer with us and my sister and I have a lot to do still, plus various other things that pale in comparison to death but are still a bit preoccupying, like my brain tumour!

pickledsiblings · 12/05/2016 19:45

Goodness Bobo, your poor sister. A brain tumour sounds v. serious. Hope you are OK.

BoboChic · 12/05/2016 19:52

Yes, I am OK. Better than I was when doing a lot of yoga and putting my head upside down all the time which gave me double vision/numb cheek/electricity in my eyes! I must get my new kitchen and bathroom installed and then perhaps think about radio surgery or something. I also want to see my sister's eldest DS safely through his IB and make sure she and her family are sorted out for next year. It's all go in our family ;)

LumpySpacedPrincess · 12/05/2016 20:43

I've just Kondo'ed and the house is so damn easy to tidy. Most people would have considered my house tidy to start with but it was still full of stuff.

Kondo is the best, permanent, way to completely declutter your life. One big push, then you have a blissful space full of things you love.

Trickymoments · 12/05/2016 21:20

But how do you Kondo if there's 4 of you living together and only
one of you Kondo'ing? I did make a start with Kondo but no-one else in the house would have known and they just carry on with their usual ways. Being tidy doesn't come naturally to me but it's not just myself I'm constantly tidying up after.

I don't get how Kondo'ing can work in all areas. My ds's room for example is a tip. The whole room needs sorting but doesn't MK say not to go by room but by category? How would I apply this to ds's room? Surely kids are a category all of their own!😬

BoboChic · 13/05/2016 05:46

I find that I have to regularly point out to DC that I do not create space in our home for it to be used for their mess. I think you have to teach the value of empty space to DC - it doesn't come naturally.

clearsommespace · 13/05/2016 06:41

I was the only one of 4 at first. But everyone else has started to see the point of not keeping things unnecessarily. I talk about when I gave x to away to x charity and for example how some recently-housed homeless people would be enjoying our spare linen. DD is 11 and has not grown out of her toys but when smaller children come to play they often leave with something. When I sell something, I mention that too. DH has since sold lots of items related to his hobby. He has replaced with different ones but at least that hobby is not taking up any more space (which it otherwise would have)
We have done a street sale regularly for the last few years, sharing a stand with SIL, BIL and the cousins so that is fun (although one of the DC tends to go around and buy someone else's clutter once she has made some money.) It has even rubbed off on hoarder FIL. He still has loads of stuff but he joined in the street sale let year and made a lot of money and some space in his basement.

clearsommespace · 13/05/2016 06:43

None of them are ruthless declutterers but every little helps.

MissRabbitHasTooManyJobs · 13/05/2016 06:51

Place marking for later! I need this thread :)

sandgrown · 13/05/2016 06:55

Me too!

P1nkP0ppy · 13/05/2016 07:03

I'm ruthlessly kondoing my wardrobe; I've retired recently and have no need for so many skirts 1'm scared to count how many dresses, jumpers etc, etc. I reckon there will be a minimum of 20 black bags Blush

Savagebeauty · 13/05/2016 07:08

I have always decluttered.
But am moving from big 5 bed house to small 3 bed (rented) and am having to take it to a new level. My settees won't even fit Grin
I have started in the loft and worked down. DD and ds know they have to go through the several boxes of school books they've saved as they won't be coming with us.
I've done the drawers of doom and the kitchen cupboards (all 20 of them)
Anything chipped, damaged, unused has gone to the tip or charity shop.

It's liberating.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 13/05/2016 07:10

Tricky I put dd into her own category! She loved how my room looked so joined in when we started on hers. We took everything out, cleaned, then placed back the items she really wanted. I bribed her with a desk in her room if she sorted it out. Kondoing means you are surrounded by things you love, so her room still has stuff but it's all wanted.

We are naturally tidy which helps and we all pull together, this really helps.

Becoolio · 13/05/2016 07:21

I kondo'd my dd's room and even folded her pants and socks in little boxes and she loved it.

Fontella · 21/05/2016 10:36

Well, I've gradually been getting rid of stuff. My car has been in the garage this week so I've had to cycle everywhere, but luckily have paniers and a basket on my bike, so every time I go to the shops I take one carrier bag of stuff for the clothing bank and one bag for the Charity shop. I've got rid of six bags of stuff already this week.

I'm also throwing out bits and pieces as well in the general rubbish, and am just about to start decorating my bathroom, so everything is coming out of there, and very little of it will be going back in!

My bedroom already looks a lot clearer and neater, and I'm moving on to decorating that after the bathroom, so again, everything that gets moved out, won't be moved back in after the painting is done, and I am going to go through the house like that, room by room.

Worst (and biggest) room is my kitchen. I love kitchenalia and have loads of lovely things, including a packed Welsh dresser, but it is too much, so I'm going to car boot or ebay most of that, just keep a few of my absolute favourite things and the rest can go.

I might take some before and after pics to remind myself what it was like!

OP posts:
Dancingtothemusicoftime · 21/05/2016 11:58

Fontella this thread has really inspired me, probably because your Damascene moment about hidden STUFF resonated so much with my reaction when we moved house recently. Like you we were outwardly tidy and organised, but horrors lay below. And it made me feel ill and chaotic.

It has been hard though - I put a paperweight as bought during my first trip away with Brownies 40 years ago in - then out - of the charity bag SIX TIMES before I left it in there for good. It was letting go of a symbol of my happy childhood in a way and I found it ridiculously painful. But you have inspired me to get to grips with my disguised clutter for once and all, so twenty CS bags, three trips to the tip/recycling and a profitable foray onto EBay later, I am getting there.

Still much more to do as DH and DCs have the same 'can't bear to let it go' tendencies, but mentally I am feeling so much better. Thank you Flowers.

shanhill · 21/05/2016 14:18

here's the ultimate hard-hearted key for de cluttering. Just pack everything up. The empty tabletop always looks better than the minimally littered table top.

AgathaMystery · 21/05/2016 16:34

Hi all. Think we are actually getting somewhere at our house! DH has had an epic clear out of his cyclin gear and has a ton of it on eBay. I am so pleased!

Fontella · 22/05/2016 18:30

That sense of being overwhelmed is back again. It seems like everywhere I look there is stuff, and I am just amazed at how I've managed to accumulate so much, especially as I am quite a 'poor' person in financial terms. Survived as a single mum of two with very little money over the years and have never been much of a shopper or a spender. Yet somehow I have managed to accumulate all this clutter.

Anyway, I just cleared out my desk and removed two carrier bags full of papers and junk going right back to my kids school books (I've kept a few things in case they want them when they are older) to my uni essays - again, I've kept some but binned a whole pile of stuff and my desk drawers are all empty and 'neat' now. I'm sure there are still a few things I should have chucked (whole tubs of glitter and stars - presumably from once making Christmas decorations with my kids) but I'm thinking of doing some car boot sales so these may well be things that will sell.

I got a very timely 'charity bag' through the door yesterday and they are collecting tomorrow - so I've filled that with clothes, shoes and accessories - and not junk either - good stuff, but things I no longer wear and will never wear again.

Finally I've just gone through the bathroom cabinet and another little drawer unit from the bathroom (which I am currently decorating) and emptied a whole load of shite out of that!!

In terms of the whole house - it's just the tip of the iceberg, but it's a start and that's the main thing. My car is in the garage at the moment, so I can't do any tip runs, but as soon as I get it back, then I will start doing that also.

It feels weird, I feel weird and strange and almost light-headed - very difficult to explain, but I look around and wonder how the hell I got all these things, and why I wanted to live like this, with all this stuff everywhere. I just want all this clutter gone from my life and it's making me feel agitated and uncomfortable having it all around me. I've lived perfectly contentedly with it for all these years, and in fact been quite proud of my home and my possessions. But now I'm seeing it all with different eyes - objects that have just sat there for years doing nothing. In my downstairs loo, I've got three black elephant ornaments 'walking' along a shelf. Why?

Maybe it's spring, or my age, or something I don't know - but I honestly wish I could afford a skip because I swear I would just hurl everything out. What I'm doing now is a positive step I know, but it's not quick or instant enough. My bins are full (and won't be collected till Friday) and I need to accept I can't get rid of much more for now - otherwise, all I'm doing is moving stuff from one place to another.

At least my lovely freshly decorated bathroom is completely empty at the moment - I just need to decide what I'm putting back in it!!

OP posts:
AuroraBora · 23/05/2016 00:29

Oh god. I need this thread. We may be moving soon so I'm getting a idea of a plan that involves kondo-ing into boxes... I need to think about it more logistically.

I can see your one disintegrating plastic bag and raise you about 30 odd Hmm when we last moved I pulled everything out from under our bed and discovered 'D'P had helpfully been "saving" plastic bags "just in case" over a period of about 5 years. Shock

Fontella · 23/05/2016 07:22

Under my bed is another place I have to tackle. I know there's all kinds of shit under there.. Boxed up shit in plastic containers so outwardly 'tidy' and 'organised' but still shit nonetheless. I'm not feeling so overwhelmed and agitated this morning. I've got rid of a lot of stuff this past week and I just need to keep going like this and I will get to where I want to be eventually.

OP posts:
Fontella · 23/05/2016 08:27

OMG, I've got a 'make up' box - like a rattan tray thing with all my eye shadows, lipsticks, nail varnish etc. in it. As i was doing my face this morning I started randomly chucking out things that I either don't use, lost the lids for etc. and ended up with a pile of crap again to throw out.

Shock

Now I've got a very neat make up box with half a dozen things in it that I actually use.

OP posts:
Unicow · 23/05/2016 10:01

I sent 53 bags of crap to the tip in the last 2 das. 10 years of mental health issues and hoarding personality. Felt goooood.

CiderwithBuda · 23/05/2016 10:29

Ive done nothing. Back at the not knowing where to start phase. I go round in circles thinking I will start with airing cupboard or spare room or my bathroom or or or. And do nothing.

Aargh.

Off to ponder.