Your advice on keeping on top of chores? I'm not coping! 😞😥

[tigerlilysoul]

Hi

I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post on or if you already have a thread on this but I am pulling my hair out and need help so much.

I am really struggling with keeping on top of my day to day housework and chores, to the point where I keep bursting into tears and feel depressed. I could really do with some friendly advice on how to cope/make things easier/get a better routine because I just can't seem to do it.

I work full time with a fairly long day and 90min commute. My DH works a shorter day than me, and to his credit and my incredible luck, walks our 2 dogs every morning and cooks tea every evening. We then also walk the dogs together in the evening. He is a brilliant cook, but.... uses every single pot and pan in the house! It's my job to wash up every evening, which to say the least is not my favourite chore. And as DH doesn't 'do' any of the housework, he just doesn't seem to have foresight in what would make my life a bit easier (for example I came home this evening to find muddy dogs had trodden through our house and on to our clean bed sheets!, 😡)

Our lives are quite busy, and as a result our house gets neglected. It's always untidy and messy. The dogs seem to generate so much hair and dirt, and between the dogs towels etc and DH doing sport at least 4 times a week, and me once a week (!) the amount of laundry I do every week is incredible. I do a full Vacuum, wash floors and bathroom and bedsheets every week, and dusting if I have time, but it's nowhere near being enough and I never have time for all those little extra jobs.

The things I would really like advice on are:
How to keep the floors clean - we have mostly cream carpets throughout and cream kitchen floor tiles, the weekly Vacuum and mop is not dealing with it.
The dirt and dust just seems to be everywhere at all times?
Dogs and cats hair, everywhere! The cats also seem to get black hair all up the curtains?!
Filthy walls and doors
Keeping on top of excessive laundry (& Drying laundry without a tumble dryer)

We are hoping to put our house on the market this month and have a fresh start in a new home so any advice on what furniture and finishes to go for would be brilliant.

Thank you so much for reading this, I know there is more to life than housework but I'm just really struggling with this at the moment, and dreading anyone visiting our home for the shame.

xx

If DH is the cook then batch cooking won't really help you as much as helping him.

Dishwasher - and encourage DH to load it as he goes along. Swoop everything into it afterwards and switch on.

Control dogs into one area of the house - just the kitchen if possible but at the very least stairgate off the upstairs

Sounds like you need a big clean to sort it out including washing walls and woodwork and cleaning carpets. Set aside a weekend for you to both tackle this together

Can you afford a cleaner for a weekly clean to keep on top of it all? You can then concentrate of keeping on top of the bigger jobs (this is how I manage it and have done for years)

You need equal leisure time. If he's cooking whilst you're still coming in from work then what's he doing whilst you are doing the pots?

I agree with other comments re pet-free rooms and cleaning the dogs off after a wet walk. In a previous life one of us would drag the dogs around the park and then the other would be ready at home with warm towels by the front door.

Thanks for all the feedback, I never imagined I would get this kind of response.

I should probably start with saying that I was pretty peeved with my DH yesterday, so probably portrayed him as a bit of a pig. He genuinely is a lovely guy and does do a lot of chores which I do not do (he is just absolutely pants at 'housework') and I'm pretty happy we have a fair share. I'm just struggling with keeping on top of the things I do!! We've talked about the dogs on the bed thing and he's pretty clear on that now.

I've found the other comments extremely helpful, and although the batch cooking isn't directly helping me, it will mean less washing up! I really like the idea that we do 10 minutes each before going out together to walk the dogs. I don't want to give up the walking time together each day as its good time together.

Any other thoughts on our new home would be gratefully received.

If you can hold back on the LTB and vagina comments it would be better, he's just a man, and none of us are perfect.

Thanks X

No, none of us are perfect, but as you say, he has more time than you do, and housework is simple, it isn't something that requires a masters degree... If people are 'pants' at it, it usually means they just don't care and don't see any value in it. Which would be fair enough if everyone had that attitude, but if it's bringing you to tears, he should really step up and contribute more. Or perhaps you could go halves on a cleaner once a week to do the jobs that neither of you enjoy?

Keep the dogs off your carpets until they are dry. Crate train them if necessary.

If your husband is home before you surely he can prepare your meal and wash up as he goes along? And definitely batch cook. I have made chilli today. It will do 3 meals for 3 of us and only 1 pot.

When you move to your new house have hardwood floors put down as a priority. I have dcs and a dog. I mop all way through twice a week and the water is always filthy so I dread to think what state carpets would be in. Carpets upstairs but no dogs or shoes.

Also if you work all week block a couple of hours off Saturday morning to blitz everything. Make a list, split it in half and get it done. Then you start the weekend clean and tidy and it's easy to keep in top if down the week. If you don't fancy doing it Saturday then have a dinner ding one night and get it done then.

Or get a cleaner!

You need a cleaner you need to batch cook you need a dishwasher. You need to sort these things out before you move because your new home will be more of the same unless your commute is getting shorter and you will have more time. Re the new home forget cream carpets get wooden floors, get a utility and keep the dogs in there after every walk and never let them upstairs also brush every pet daily to minimise hair loss.

Vagina

But he could do some stuff that would help. For example if he came home and put laundry on, then by the time he has cooked and you have both walked dogs the laundry will be finished.

Well thanks Lovely Friend

You troll.

I came here because I geniunely feel shit at the moment and needed some support. What's the point in being so horrible. Some of you have actually made me feel worse about myself so thanks.

Can anyone recommend a forum that offers friendly advice and support?!

1. irobot roomba
2. irobot scooba
3. Tumble drier or dehumidifier
4. Set the dishwasher going after breakfast
5. Teach DH to unload dishwasher before cooking in the evening ?

We bought a second hand roomba on eBay. My life has improved beyond belief. Plus shut the dogs in a room until they dry off from their walks (we have cats not dogs so I don't have a lot of guidance here)?

Errrr, I think everybody is trying to be helpful and offering practical solutions. I have always found those who post on housekeeping to be that way.

And lovelyFriend made me

I too have a hideous commute. On the days I commute husband cooks, cleans, and does the housework (he's usually home by 4-6 if he's home later than 8 then we pull out freezer food we made previously; and housework doesn't get done). On the days I work from home I pick up the slack.

I think when you have a brain destroying commute the partner who doesn't naturally has to pick up some of the slack (with you doing your share over the wknd) otherwise it's easy to start resenting them/taking them for granted. There also has to be a joint understanding that certain things just don't get done on a commute day (for us that's laundary).

AHem
Peace and love people.

Brush the pets, every day when they shed. This stops the hair as source. Also line there beds with a fleace rug then wash it every week, far easier than washing an entire cat or dog basket.

Get a dish washer- trust me you will love it.

Oh and a cleaner till you sell your house, just because it needs to look the best it can.

I am not in the least surprised that you are stressed, with all you have to do.

I would pay for a 'one off House Clean'. Lots of companies do this. We paid £100 for a filthy house for a relative who was coming out of hospital. The company sent 2 men who spent 4 hours cleaning every available surface.

Dogs make a massive amount of work. I would try to restrict them to 2 rooms.

Share the washing with DH. Each just doing you own.

Ask him to wash up as he goes along, so that you have a little less to do.

When you move, laminate floors throughout.

Sorry you had a hard time on here. Maybe you should shout, RTFQ or JATFQ.

I'd be wary of laminate floors with dogs. When we moved into our house the ground floor was laminated throughout and our dog couldn't walk on it. We started off buying runners then went room by room ripping up the laminate and carpeting as we could afford it. The bare floor boards were fine for the dog, the laminate was really slippery.

Tell DH how you feel, that's a good starting point to discussing if he could take on the odd extra job in the house - whatever it maybe, or perhaps, you could both agree that you each spend 2/3 hours at the weekend doing whatever is needed.

The only things that seem to concern my DH in the house is whether there's enough food or clean clothes. I wonder if it's a man thing, ie they don't really notice if things aren't completely tidy or clean or don't care!

I wonder if it's a man thing, ie they don't really notice if things aren't completely tidy or clean or don't care!

resists making vagina comment

Go on Maple, dare ye!

Hi Tiger try this cleaning template
You can adapt if if you need to. I've laminated it and put it up on the kitchen wall with a marker pen.
Everyone in the household can now see exactly what needs to be done and is expected to pick chores and mark when complete.
When I first put it up my family were amazed at what needs to be done.

I have also found that DH is very good at cleaning off the dogs if he has cleaned the kitchen floor

Both DH and I works full time. Two children, 4 and 1 yo. We have a cat. We cope by having a cleaner, a dishwasher, a tumble dryer. No carpet upstairs and cat is not allowed upstairs.

I do the cooking and I use a lot of plates and pots too. It's hard to keep it down. I mean, I couldn't double dip spoons into multiple jars, can I? But I stack the dishwasher as I go along. That keeps the kitchen reasonably clean when we serve dinner, with only the pots on the worktops.

Oh and if you get a dishwasher, don't forget the timer function! I find that I set it for 2 hour delay when we start the dishes. That way I won't forget to start it. I had that problem with my old dishwasher. Once the door is closed, I just forgot to add the detergent! And there's always the extra plate and spoon I found during the evening. With the timer, I can keep adding to it and it'll do the wash when we sleep.

Get rid of some of the pans. I'm not kidding. If they aren't there to use, they won't get dirty. Keep one frying pan, two saucepans. Most meals can be cooked with those.