September 2015 fledglings shine their sink and their lace up shoes and prepare for the new academic year ahead

[standclear]

Welcome to the September 2015 Fledgling Flying thread! Hang up your microfibre cloths and park your buckets here!!

[Sorry - I've namechanged again - but remain SC]

This is where from the 1st of the month, we attempt to declutter and follow the 30-step wisdom of Flylady (minus cutesy language and a surfeit of e-mails) with lots of chat and support and mutual motivation (and of course) along the way. (More info available here and here ) and here.

Humungous thanks to our previous thread leaders (nns relating to a planet and to a colour) for guiding us through the summer and keeping us sane throughout the holidays!

As usual we will be following a three-pronged approach - and don't worry - we are all at different stages. Some of us (SC stares at feet) -are stuck at the decluttering stage after an embarrassingly long number of years :

• repeat or start baby steps (again!)

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

or

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

And those of you who have decluttered and are really enthusiastic can throw some detailed cleaning in to the mix as well!

This is a very long-running thread so we may appear cliquey but we really aren't! All newcomers, long-termers, lurkers and intermittent returnees not only welcome to join in but positively encouraged to do so!

Any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Good luck!

Yes, ellie, I agree with knitting - I love to hear that you're all loved-up. Sod the Flying and enjoy the romance.

fuzz - glad you've been signed off (right decision, clearly) and can now focus on other things.

She is incredibly anxious and needs help. It's even causing her to wash her hands all the time and she is terrified of germs and being sick. Uh oh. Sounds like OCD to me, fuzz: DS1 had this (still does, but under control now) and CBT with Exposure Response Therapy (making you do the thing you're scared of, eg eating with unwashed hands) is the answer. I hope your DD gets referred quickly. I recommend this book whilst you're waiting for a referral.

knitting - glad to hear everyone's fit and in good spirits in your household. Sorry you haven't had a PJ day yet, but good that your DC are so resilient. I'm a bit sorry that the boys have spoilt their untarnished record, but it can't be helped - and illness is one of the inevitabilities of school life.

Good luck at cleaning boudoir amidst chaotic comings and goings of family life. Am trying to summon up the energy to tackle my wardrobe.

DS1 is still fast asleep. DS2 is up and playing with Lego. DH has gone back to bed. I spent two hours this morning catching up over a cuppa with a neighbour. Need to be productive this afternoon though.

Thanks very much folks I've had a chat with people at today's home ed club too - very refreshing not to be told 'well she just needs to go back to school'!

I am thinking OCD as well, to be honest. I have a preliminary dx of this myself (will be having further discussion soon, I've been referred to an adult autism specialist) and it terrifies me that DD is going the same way. I've tried SO hard not to let her see when I'm anxious, I never talk about fear of being sick, out of date food etc in front of her and yet I couldn't protect her from it :(

Not sure how much help we will get as she may not be severe enough, although maybe they will take note of the fact she's not eating as much now because of fearing germs/vomiting. One of my friends has a very anxious DS and he couldn't get CBT, but here's hoping! I'll be back to update later.

fuzz - have PM'd you about the OCD issue. Lovely to hear that you've been to a home ed club. It's good to be with people who 'get' why you're doing it.

Have managed to get through more of my 'to do' list, including horrible tax stuff and finishing all the ironing and hanging it all up. DS1 and DH slept till the afternoon and DS1 has lost his voice. We are communicating via sign language and he's just used an old sign we used to use when he was a toddler (I used baby sign language for both DC) - can't believe he still remembers it!

Have been calorie counting all this week, which means I'm constantly aware of hunger. Would really love to eat a very large Danish pastry right now.

Here is the fledgling ray of romance signing in with the vague attempt to do some flying tonight. Fear not, i have not ditched the loved up feeling. Flying is necessitated to plan for weekend with lovely DP whilst dc's are with ex. I am going to list post like a fledgling pro.

To do;-
Unpack food shop
Tidy kitchen
Washing
Tidy dc's bedrooms
Pack dc's for wkend
Pack me for weekend

Small but mighty list there. This will facilitate romance this weekenf.

Back later with success I hope. I would love to say i have read through thread to catch up but I would be lying I am afraid. I am a bad person. I shall send a multitude of hugs to anyone who needs them, to anyone who needs them and and to anyone that needs them. You may choose any combination.

There's loads of home ed stuff round here, we have to turn down stuff sometimes as it's too busy! We've been really lucky. Can't believe I was ever worried about socialisation :o I think it must really depend on the area though.

Appt was pretty good, we've been given a strategy for bedtime anxiety and he's going to phone back in a week to see how we get on.

Evening all, bit of a pig of a day, ending with crying over hwk and the pressure (already in week 4) of endless tests. Dc will be tested at end of this half term and none of the marks earned by in-course testing count of course.

Exacerbated by a letter from school listing all the interesting events/excursions that all the years above dd's year will be going on and participating in, between now and end of June 2016, and NOT ONE of them involves dd's class. (And even the rest of the first year (minus dd's immersion class of course) is only going on one measly internal domestic trip and doing nothing else.) Where's the joy?

Who on earth decided that first years should not doing anything at school other than lessons? Surely, the first year is an opportunity to cultivate a bit of enthusiasm and expand a few horizons and should be the year when the forging of new friendships are facilitated through theatre, excursions, external projects. Grrrrrr.

We have all got a bit of a shaky/achey virus thing too

In addition, I have completely failed to get through the day's objectives and consequently a fairly hideous day awaits tomorrow; really disappointed in my energy levels atm. I've been busy all day and achieved precisely nothing except basic "maintenance". This house is too much for me, it really is.

Tomorrow's links:

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The baby-step for tomorrow, Fri 25 Sept, is here not quite sure what it is tbh, but it is one of those waffling ones about banishing perfectionism and it taking a while to establish routines etc.

We are in Zone 4 this week: The Master Bedroom (September 20 – 26) : here.

If you have finished decluttering in Zone 4, here is the detailed cleaning list for the master bedroom.

Friday's mission is here. Take 15 mins to thoroughly declutter your dressing table (or whatever surface serves as dressing table).

Friday's daily focus is : decluttering our purses, handbags and cars. Oh and it is 'date night' apparently.

The habit for September is developing a before-bed routine here: www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/september/ .

A summary of the above (which should update itself daily) can be found here in the Flightplan: www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120.

Have a good evening!
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Ta for Ellie I am badly in need! [And for strong brew Can't]

Ellie Hope you manage to get through your list ok! Nothing like the prospect of romantic weekend ahead to provide motivation!

Well done wrt your productive day Toffee although very sorry to hear you have the lurgy there which will be short-lived I hope. I've been trying a 'no snack' regime this week and have found it very hard, to the point where I have felt shaky and weak (but think we have a lurgy too!) Hope everyone recovers soon! How amazing about the baby signing and that your ds1 still remembers it!!

So sorry to hear about your dd's anxiety Fuzzpig. Anxiety is a truly horrible debilitating thing. I'm glad the CAMHS proved helpful.

Everything is sounding very productive and interesting in your house Knitting!

Waves to everyone else!

Very disappointed not to see more beaver haiku poetry people!! Come on, this is relevant to Flying, you know it is

:o :o we didn't have long before the doctor turned up 15 mins late, but who's counting so we just did a spider diagram of beavery words and looked at haikus online to count syllables etc. DD is very excited that haikus come from Japan. And I learnt something - I didn't know that a tanka was another type of poem. We love a book called 'Tanka Tanka Skunk' which is about syllables/beats in words, I just thought Tanka was a made up word!

When I was a lovesick teen I wrote now-DH a set of 10 haikus about why I loved him. He kept it in his wallet for several years until the paper disintegrated. (sorry, I'll pass the sick bucket! :o)

My pleasure sc.

List completed in it's entirety which is a bit of a result. Dc's are at ex's tonight so am about to settle down and catch up with Downton from the weekend. We may be all loved up but I still couldn't persuade DP to watch it. Maybe I should dump him after all.

I think that's lovely, fuzz (about your haikus) and not sick-making at all. What a shame the paper disintegrated.

nah, not wanting to watch Downton is a promising sign in my opinion, ellie not a fan myself.

SC - totally agree with you about school missing the opportunity to foster enthusiasm for learning. How frustrating. Far too many tests, by the sound of it, too . Sorry the house has beaten you today. Not sure what the answer is - 'staff', more family help, lower standards or working yourself to the bone....?

Did really well at not snacking today, then gave in to ravenous hunger this evening and ate a large meal, with lashings of butter on the new potatoes, swigged two glasses of white wine and am now finishing off a packet of bread sticks. Was even eyeing a doughnut I'd bought for DS . I suspect denying yourself food just makes you want it even more.

DS1 is still feeling really rough and will probably need another day off school tomorrow, although he is saying he wants to go in regardless (not quite sure how he'll manage without his voice). DS2 is much brighter and should be ok tomorrow, unless he takes a turn for the worse overnight. No sign of the lurgy in me yet. Am hoping I've escaped it.

Do you by any chance come from a family where they play party games which involve writing acrostics limericks and Haikus SC?

big hug for today...do you know I think it sounds a very very good school just not what you are used to and obviously a whole new world for dd. Dd didn't have many trips or outings in year 7, certainly no plays or residentials. I think there was one Tapas outing in summer and to my mind far too many welcome Masses. Dd wasn't in any play or orchestra despite being very musical and arty..it was too much to add in to the school day - she was such a tiny fish in big sea that it didn't seem worth it and she was too far away to take advantage of any sport or clubs like that. I suppose what I am trying to say is that possibly in the state system you cannot fit every aspect of a creative curriculum into the day and keep the high academic standards that Belgian parents want. Then when the framework is laid down they probably start expanding the options. Only Secondary School Teachers Ellie? are allowed to give their opinions on this one

and it must be lonely without dh too SC and feel a bit pointless being in Brussels at all when he isn't there. I'm sure dd doesn't care what state house is in nor does he, if that is any comfort re: housework. Nor does dog!!!

Fuzz so many kind souls in Home Ed to give a balanced view and stop that default "professionals know best" when quite often they don't I think children of your daughter's age are often incredibly sensitive to smells and sensory threats - it is probably a very important defence mechanism (to protect you initially) gone into overdrive to stop you getting ill eating wrong thing catching bugs. Ds1 was phobic about pigeons carrying disease. I remember a child coming to our house being in hysterics because the soft boiled egg had little bits of shell in it. I think you cannot dismiss these fears but you have to slowly as Toffee says reacclimatize them. Ds1 still is horrified by people sneezing and screams use a hankerchief (he himself has never used a hankerchief in his life) I find myself reacting to dd sticky hands (after she comes back on the bus) she is amazed I find it so repulsive. So hard anyway, to draw line between health and over defensiveness.

Fuzz gosh just read the Haiku post...another ray of romantic sunshine

I think only one person has ever written me a romantic poem and it was plagiarised I think from Roy Fuller Love is Blue I don't even dare to look it up now in case it is thoroughly inappropriate

I used to write terrible poetry to people who never had any intention of falling for me - alas the more in love I was the less witty I became..

Thank you :)

TBH the romantic poetry was a rare change from the utterly depressing stuff I generally wrote! (TBF I was in a psychiatric unit when I wrote most of it...)

I wrote two other poems about DH, which were both read at our wedding :) I really want to get back into writing/drawing etc, I find creativity quite scary these days?! It's one of my planned Occupational Therapy things though. I'm hoping that now I'll have more opportunity to do art with the DCs (DD is especially into art, she's put a sketchbook and a Van Gogh poster on her Xmas list... quite proud of that, ignoring the fact that she's written an Xmas list in September FFS...) I'll find more opportunity to be creative myself.

sc i completely understand where you are coming from and i know precious little about the Belgian school system. However, i think knitting may be right. Year 7's need time to bed themselves in, get a footing and make the leap. There is only one residential in Year 7 at our place and that isn't right until the end. But is about achieving a balance and a good education system should offer that balance because, at the end of the day, they are still children. See, I sat right on the fence there

Eh up, have just been woken by dh's return from his 7,000 k round trip. Have supplied the requested cup of tea and bacon sandwich and and now can't seem to nod off again. He was asleep 10 seconds after his head hit the pillow of course!!

Oh gosh Fuzzpig how incredibly romantic about the fading lines on a disintegrating bit of paper!!! In fact you could write a wonderful poem about that!

Fuzzpig Agree with Knitting about dc of that age going through a very sensitive phase. My dd did and is still a bit prone to it when tired or stressed. Hope bedtime strategy worked well tonight!

[Guilty as charged Knitting - two of my siblings are published poets. But as you can tell, I'm just in to doggerel ]

Don't dump him yet Ellie!! (You can't be having a man of action watching Downton, just wouldn't be right somehow!!) Well done re: yr list!

And thank you Knitting and Ellie for reassuring secondary school advice. I'm sure you are both right. That's certainly true about the bedding in thing, and because dd is in lang immersion group which is in effect double literacy, there probably isn't time to fit it all in. It's just that dd is finding it all very "dry" and the teachers very "cold" in contrast to warm and cuddly primary: she's bewailing that she wants (in school terms) "one thing to look forward to". But, as you say, it's a big adjustment and v early days.

[And as for long welcoming masses [groan], did I mention the over enthusiastic superannuated gnome jumping about on the altar with his acoustic guitar? [double groan]]

Thanks Toffee all of those solutions would probably work !! (I'm going for number four, if possible to lower standards even further ) . Great that your ds1 wants to go back to school, despite being ill!

And thank you Knitting¨for kindly words about house. No, dog and dd don't really care. I do though and we have guests on Sat!! Will just have to distract from high hanging cobwebs with really good food!! [produced without an oven You absolutely must look up that Roy Fuller poem tomorrow!!!

Right, tiptoeing back to bed now ...

[leaves glasses of milk and currant buns out on counter]

You lot just lift my mood . From high romance to beaver haiku! Where else would I find this?

Not sure Honu minds of wisdom this lot!

I am sick of having a building site. Scurting boards and carpets being ripped up this weekend. Wall being built and plastered fucking plaster dust
And as such my plans have been ripped in 2 and destroyed. I have the serious case of the grumps and no energy to do what needs to be done. I am working on the solution that cake is the answer. it is not the answer and will add to the weight issues but still

ds2 has gone off by himself with a friend on a bus to football
We managed some more work on Mixtures this morning and discussed Desalination plants in Middle East - unfortunately not in the detail I wanted, as ds quickly veered off to arguing about why one would need water in the desert (ie: why bother to live there in the first place...gosh it is difficult arguing over these how long is a piece of string topics)

I have shook out two mats
Put load of washing in
swished and swiped basin and loo
put away some clothes
driven to school and dictated a short essay on Queen Victoria
hung out some washing

now need to drive to football to pick up ds2
sunshine socialise etc

SC really??? Published POETS... For my Dad's 80th my sister made the entire extended family write a poem which was then read out from the podium at the party. It was nice in a way but very competititve. Exhausting.

Laundry - done
ironing - done
swearing - done

Coffee anyone?

Wow, published poets! Missed that one, SC! "over enthusiastic superannuated gnome jumping about on the altar with his acoustic guitar?" No, I don't think you mentioned that - I'm sure I'd have remembered it!

Knitting competitive poetry certainly does sound exhausting!!

Yes please, CantSee Hope things improve.

Well, there may be light at the end of the tunnel. Or it may be an oncoming train. They are now saying that we will exchange contracts at the beginning of next week and complete at the beginning of Oct. We'll see...

It was French day at DS1's school today. They had a non-uniform day and lots of children had gone for stripy tops, berets and facepaint moustaches as well.

DS2 seems to have begun his political career and got himself elected to the school council after less than a month in the school!!

Ta Da!
grocery shopping,
filled the car up,
done a bit of retail therapy,
chased lawyers,
got the estate agent to put a rocket under the lawyers

Well done ds 2. Hope they manage to get that rocket applied correctly blue

Swan reading your accounts of your days is exhausting me atm

Clean up glass fibre - done
buy emergency chocolate - eating
put my clothes away - doing
let ds down about training tonight - done :( sadly i do not have the energy to go.
Sort some stuff from a random pile on the lounge floor - in progress - slow progress

Evening everyone!

Quiet on here today ... hope all OK!

Waves to Honu

Plaster dust is the worst Can'tsee Well done re: your lists, esp the swearing

Am in awe of the breadth of your curriculum Knitting ie Queen Victoria and desalination plants!

Whey hey Blue that is great news that completion looms!! Congrats to your ds2 (that was quick work!) and arf at berets, breton tops and moustaches

Blue and Knitting yes, really! Both published (one more minor than the other but still).

We do a similar thing for major birthdays Knitting but thankfully can be a poem, drawing, painting etc and can be presented in paper form!

Big waves to everyone else!

NB Long weekend here. (Teaching day Monday.) We have guests and we're going to be pretty busy/ and off out for mini-trip(s) so likelihood is I will just be posting links over next few days and not a lot else. Will catch up next Tues/Wed! In the meantime, hope you all have a good weekend!

The baby-step for today, Sat 26th Sept is here. It's about taking a month to establish a habit and about not giving up if you miss a day, and remembering that we are never behind because we can jump right back in where we are at!

We are in Zone 4 this week: The Master Bedroom (September 20 – 26) : here.

If you have finished decluttering in Zone 4, here is the detailed cleaning list for the master bedroom.

No mission because it is the weekend!

Saturday's focus is here.

The habit for September is developing a before-bed routine here: www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/september/ .

A summary of the above (which should update itself daily) can be found here in the Flightplan: www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120.

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Incidentally, now we are finishing in Zone 4, this is traditionally the time of the month when I say to myself "why the _ didn't I just simply do the baby-steps in the boudoir as set out, rather than trying to implement some wholly unrealistic and perfectionist 'total overhaul' which I never complete, thus ending up with more of a mess than when I started"

Rather depressingly, I have repeated this same mistake over and over in Wk 4, virtually every month since the beginning of this thread

On that note, g'night all!

Was going to read and run, but felt sorry for this thread being so quiet.

Sympathies on the 'total overhaul', SC, but it's an easy mistake to make and made with good intentions. And sometimes turns out not to be a mistake at all, but to clear a space quickly that could otherwise have taken weeks (with the accompanying boost in confidence). I hope your sociable weekend goes well.

DS1 is not well at all and has had two days off school, spending large chunks of the day sleeping. Now I'm worrying that this will set him back again and he'll feel anxious about going back to school next week, but there really is no indication of that. It's just that old habits (me worrying) die hard.

He has an incredibly sore throat, so I'm buying him supplies from the chemist in a moment. He says it's not tonsillitus (he's had that once before), but am keeping a close eye.

Before he woke up, I managed to have a lovely long soak in a hot bath, using a bath bomb from a set that a friend gave me recently. I feel all soft and lightly scented now .

DH has taken DS2 out for the day (beautiful sunny weather here), which leaves me free to do fun stuff like washing and clearing out cupboards. Oh, and catching up on 'Neurotribes', the new book by Steve Silberman. Anyone else reading it? Very interesting so far.

Babysitting for a friend and neighbour tonight, so will have plenty of time to read then (assuming her son sleeps well ).

I've not read Neurotribes but it's on my wishlist, saw it recommended on FB. Glad it's interesting, I'm going to request it from the library :)

Not got anything done so far, we are all in our jammies still! All I've done that's vaguely useful is look for the DCs' Xmas onesies/underwear/socks (tradition). Might drag my sorry arse to the shops to get a few groceries with the DCs - will be cheaper than ordering tesco with a £40 minimum spend although we will get a cab home. And I know that being out of the house with fresh air and stretching my muscles a bit will be better for me than staying on the sofa for yet another day. I do get paranoid though as I'm off sick now, and I panic about daring to set foot outside :( but I can't actually stay indoors for the next 3 weeks, can I?! Or should I?

Must actually put more washing on before we go anyway. One lot for the dryer so we can put it all away later (including the DCs, they have to do their own folding etc) and then work clothes and Brownies uniform for DH to iron. I hate Saturdays. Sundays just end up with us needing to recover from the week. DH has worked 6 days this week, AGAIN. I've told him he needs to push his area manager more to actually lend him some staff (he's always told to send his staff to other stores yet nobody returns the favour...) so he can actually take some of the HUGE amount of hours he's owed, let alone annual leave. He's getting so stressed and worn out, I've said he needs to actually make sure his boss understands that because he's going to end up ill with it. He is never off sick, he pushes himself through everything, and he's really suffering for it.

Sorry for the rant. Off to get dressed.