Cleaning routine when one of you works shifts?

[doistayordoigo]

I need help implementing some sort of cleaning routine, the state of the house and our apparent inability to keep on top of it is driving me mad. I'm hoping someone will have a magic solution/idea we haven't thought of/experience that might help!

The problems are that not only do I hate cleaning and would basically rather do anything else, my DH works a 10 day shift pattern, so trying to get some sort of routine in place seem impossible. Before he worked shifts and I was SAHM it was easy enough to at least have a system, but at the moment he seems to do most of the house work, despite working more hours than me, as he's the one who seems to be around at more useful times. He obviously resents this a little bit (although he doesn't admit it often). Neither of us particularly want to spend all our leisure time cleaning, but we can't afford a cleaner so that's not an option either. So we need to try to put some sort of system in place for the sake of our sanity!

I work Monday to Friday and am out of the house from 8.30am to about 4.15pm. He works a 10 day pattern which involves two days (eg 7am-4pm), two days of lates (eg 3pm-11pm) and two nights (eg 11pm-7am), then has four days off (first day is obviously partially spent sleeping off the night shift). The times are an example, as they aren't always the same hours, eg sometimes a late could be 5pm-4am. We have two boys, aged 12 and 15, who will help if asked, but I don't want to put too much on them as they have a lot of homework and school pressure. At the moment DH does most of the cleaning and cooking, and I do the laundry and household management (eg researching & booking holidays, bills, finances, presents etc).

We have a fairly good sized house (not massive) - three bedrooms and bathroom upstairs, big kitchen-diner, two-part living room, spare room and bathroom downstairs, and a big garden we're in the process of re-doing.

I'd love a routine, but due to the shifts, I can't even guarantee I can runt he hoover round on a Saturday morning as DH could be in bed, never mind strip the beds every weekend etc.

Sorry for the long post, but can anyone suggest anything that might work...DH has said he will sit down and discuss it at some point this weekend so I need a plan!

If it must be "regimented" you need it on a diary/calendar. Either divide the jobs and fit it around each other or when you are both there in evening of early shifts or morning of first night on a weekend. Or if rest days coincide with weekend then both crack on and blitz it together.

If it's not regimented I'll just ignore it! DH is more the get on with type, whereas I'm more the do something else type...hence why DH ends up doing most of it at the moment. Unfortunately, he doesn't like planning and diaries and scheduling, so he'll just get stroppy and go off and get on with it, which makes me stroppy because I want to plan! I fully accept that if I just got on with it everything would probably run much more smoothly

DH wouldn't want to do it in the evenings of earlies, as he'd rather do it on his first full day off, so it's become easier to let him do that, which obviously isn't very fair. And his shifts mean he only really gets one weekend off in four, so he'd rather do something else then as well.

It's becoming apparent from putting it all down like this that it's me that needs to contribute more, but that I maybe need a routine separate to his. But again, I run into problems when I can't do stuff because he's in bed etc.

I get your pain- we're a shift work house too. But bar hoovering the bedroom pretty much everything else should be fairly quiet so you could clean bathroom / mop kitchen/do lounge when he's in bed. If he doesn't wear earplugs maybe he should get some if that would disturb him. I wear them for day sleeping

Maybe a whiteboard type list of what needs doing in a fortnight and both of you do different things as and when needed or able but you know what's been done when crossed out so don't duplicate? You could plan your time / chores leaving him to do things on his first day off I'm a bit of a zombie so don't do much on that day

I could probably do the kitchen, and tidying, dusting etc downstairs I suppose, and downstairs bathroom. Upstairs bathroom would be a problem as we have really creaky floors up there, so he tends to hear me moving around. Couldn't hoover the living room as it's open plan stairs. I'm ashamed to admit that, unless I need to be somewhere, if he's in bed I tend to not even get showered or dressed, as me pottering around the bedroom will wake him up...although he's not a particularly light sleeper, it's the little noises that tend to wake him, like opening a drawer or putting my leg into my trousers He wouldn't want to wear earplugs though, as he wears an earpiece all shift at work.

And then when he does get up, I'll sit and have cup of tea with him, and a chat, and then by the time we've both got dressed it's mid afternoon God, I'm so lazy.

Bumping for any more ideas please!

I think you're right to suggest that maybe you need a more regimented plan just for yourself seeing as your DH just gets on with it anyway.

I'm the same and I've planned a schedule for September onwards (I teach) using the Busy Mum weekly planner. I've just planned generic cleaning but will also have a list of specific jobs in the notes section that need doing over the course of a week or fortnight.

That said, last tear it went out of the window on day one as I hated my new job and drank wine every evening. Luckily I have a new one ????

How about planning one specific half hour job and half an hour general cleaning every day?