How to deal with DHs clutter?

[SundaySunshine]

Specifically paperwork. It's everywhere. From time to time I box it up and now I have 19 boxes, one crate, and a suitcase full of it. They are in every room of our tiny house, including DDs room, the loft and conservatory. It ranges from banking details to stuff relating to university from the 90s. It's not in any discernable order. He is 'between jobs' and I work (and all the rest). I've asked, demanded, threatened and cajoled that he do something with it all; to no avail. I'm now at the end of my tether and feel like walking out and leaving him to it. Help!

Do you have a filing cabinet? Surely he could agree in principle that one filing cabinet is enough for one family and reduce it to that? If there isn't anywhere for it to belong, I can see how it ends up in piles. Everyone does generate some paperwork and clutter breeds clutter.

I would have a big clear out and then whizz round every night collecting any new stuff. But the problem is a lot bigger, it sounds as if he has mh issues and being out of work could increase those too. What is your relationship like? Why is he between jobs? Does he contribute in other ways like cooking and chilcare?

In this house it goes "DH, I'm getting twitchy. Please sort out X (room or items) before next weekend, or I'm doing it" He knows I'll bin all sorts he wants to keep, so he generally does it. I have cleared everything once. He won't let me do it again.

Any chance of dating any of the boxes? ie generally, paperwork of 7 yrs old is not going to be expected. Can you clear anything that predates that? We bought this house together 8 years ago, so have decided that anything relating to addresses before this one can go. Have you got a marker like that to start with?

Does he have a hoarding problem or just lazy?

Give him a date to sort the things he wants to keep, at which point everything else will be shredded / burnt / disposed of. My DH is similar, he will say he will sort things "when I get a minute" and months later it's still not done!

I would like to know this as well! Back of settee currently being used as a shelf for DH things, more clothes on the drawers and floor than in the wardrobe, bag from trip 2 weeks ago still on floor not unpacked........and the list could go on and on. And DH is not mentally ill just untidy and uncaring! No amount of talking, shouting or giving deadlines seems to makes a difference. And the DC are just as bad..........sorry, I seem to be ranting!

I'm ruthless but I would go ahead and bin stuff that I knew he didn't need/hadn't looked at in years.

I've done the same with DP's clutter (he has mild hoarding tendencies) and he had never noticed that it's gone. Which says it all!

Give him a deadline and then take it all to the tip. I have done as Nomi with my DHs stuff over the 30 years we have been together. He barely raises an eyebrow. He is allowed one "piggy corner" in our bedroom - he has a habit of stashing up clothes he has worn there.

Thanks all. I suppose part of the problem is we just don't have room for things like filing cabinets, so there's not too many places we can store paperwork. He is a hoarder, and yes, he is lazy too; he also has piles of clothes, books , electrical goods etc. But it's the paperwork that really does my head in because I can't see any use for it. I think I'll have to be brave and have a bonfire, but it's difficult because he never goes out without me (he can't drive) and I can't see him just passively letting me burn his stuff.

He does not care about what you want. My DH was the same and he got thrown out of the house. Why should you leave? btw: aforementioned
has just been turfed out of his rented property for being too dirty and untidy.