my house is as bad as

[mustard73]

"How clean is your house" with Kim and Aggie. I'm not exaggerating

I need help. I don't know where to start. I feel so down about it. I hate being in my own home. I can never invite anybody round.

I work full time and have a toddler. DD gets watched by my parents when I work.

I can't afford a cleaner / couldn't bring a cleaner in to this mess even if I could afford it. No DP to help.

To the outside world I probably look OK. Myself and DD always well dressed, I am fairly organised. But behind closed doors its a different story.

I have the best intentions but no motivation/ energy.

Any advice would be gratefully appreciated. I know I need a massive kick up the backside I look at my beautiful DD colouring in at the table surrounded by old plates and washing. She doesn't deserve this

i do little bits each day, then it doesn't build up. Make a little list to motivate yourself.

Ok so small steps. Get a couple of bin bags. Or in fact just one for the moment.
start in the middle of the room.
Throw away anything that you don't need,or haven't used in the last 3months or that you can't be bothered finding a place for.
If you have a car take the bin bag to the tip. Do this once a day until the clutter has resolved.
that includes dishes, tupper ware, toys, clothes.
I am not Kim and again I hasten to add and need to follow my own advice at the moment but it is hard when you have no time and the clutter has built up. I find I have to be ruthless on a regular basis otherwise, somehow, we just accumulate clutter

Write a to do list and stick it where you can see it.

Make a start on the table and get the top cleared.

Have you got recycling boxes? If you have bring them into the house or even by the door so you can throw all the junk paper/recyclable rubbish into them.

Do the dishes, dry them and put them away so you have made a start.

When you see a bit of clean and clear space it will encourage you to do more. No need to go mad just do it bit by bit so it's not so overwhelming.

Good luck

Someone (I suspect my mum) told me every time I went into a room to move something to its proper place.

If its really that bad first start clearing out everything that's no good. Stock up on bin bags and when you have a day off focus on one room. Clear out everything that's old or no use and then tidy and clean. Put in place steps to keep that room nice and then next week tackle another room and so on. Don't try do it all at once, just one room at a time and then maintain it

Get very strong black bags.
Aim to fill one bag at a time. I mean - trying to finish one room in one session is draining.
Get rid of the bags with stuff asap! You'd see progress that way quicker

Casting your eye around the place, how much of the problem is down to rubbish or just lots of 'stuff'? Having too much of that around really makes for difficulties organizing and keeping things clean - there's simply so much to move around.

Any chance of asking your parents or a relative/friend to look after DD for an evening or two or weekend as a one-off? Just to have a run of a few hours to clear things might do wonders for you.

Can your parents help you OP?
I'm a working lone parent to a toddler too, so I sympathise!
It's exhausting.
Could you ask them to mind your little one on a Saturday so that you could make a start and put into action some of the suggestions above? It's difficult to start when you've a toddler hanging out of your leg or 'helping'
My place isn't exactly a shiny minimalist heaven, but when I finally sit down in the evening, it's tidy enough with DS's toys put away etc.
Once you've got your place a bit straight it's much easier to keep on top of it, you just sound overwhelmed.

I disagree with the "small steps" approach. I think one weekend, you need to just attack it. Throw things away, put everything back in its place and then give everywhere a good clean. Maybe get your child involved in helping too and put rules in place for them to tidy their room weekly and put one toy away before getting another out etc.
Once you've done it, it'll be easy to keep that way as you can do a little bit everyday and tidy as you go

Where do you live? I live abroad in continental Europe but would happily come and help you out if I lived near you. Bet loads of others would too! So don't be afraid to ask for help! (Cleaning/sorting someone else's house is always much more fun than doing your own.)

Could you confide in a friend and swap childcare and give one another a free day? Are there any single parent groups near you that you could approach?

Failing that, start with flylady crisis clean

(ignore barftastic language of site, the underlying system is sound)

www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/crisis-cleaning/

Then tackle zones - just 15 mins a day makes a difference - but you can't clear clutter so use those 15 mins initially to get rid of stuff. Once you have decluttered, the cleaning is much quicker.

Three boxes per room : chuck, charity and keep, timer on for 15 mins - see how much you can do in that time. But remember to chuck out rubbish straightaway, take stuff to charity shop straightaway and put away stuff you are keeping straightaway. Otherwise toddlers get in to the boxes and chaos reigns again.

Spend one day going through your clothes and chucking and sorting

Spend another day going through your toddler's clothes (ditto)

You will be eating an elephant one small bite at a time in other words

And do basic routines daily ie one load of washing a day, dried and folded and put away, wm (and dw?) on in the morning (or night before, and emptied, bathroom wiped over quickly once a day etc etc

There are loads of threads on here about house keeping routines - have a look - they usually follow the pattern of spending 30 mins in one room per day.

Remember to build free time for yourself in to your routines if at all possible; because if you don't, no one else will!

Good luck!

Btw - the guest thing - it becomes a vicious cycle. If you really want to motivate yourself then set a date and invite people around in six weeks.

Nothing like the fear of guests coming to get me off the sofa!!

I second the suggestion to ask your parents for a hand. You each doing an hour means 3 hours' work gets done and that could really make an impact. And don't beat yourself up, you have so much on your plate.

Personally I would clear one room at a time, starting with the kitchen and living room. Don't be afraid to just chuck stuff. I quite like 'a slob comes clean' blog for inspiration.

First job: get a bin bag...go from room to room and put any actual rubbish in it.

Second job: walk round house gathering any plates, cutlery, cups etc. Put in/next to sink.

Third job: walk round house and gather all dirty laundry. Get it all in basket or at least in one heap.

Fourth job: do all the washing up..put on some good music to cheer yourself up.

Fifth job. Clean all kitchen work surfaces with hot soapy water...dry with kitchen roll.

This will all make a massive difference...get the basics done first.

Forgot to add...buy a cheap plastic storage box and go around collecting any important paperwork...then at least it is all in one place so you can sort it out.

Can you afford to take a days paid holiday? Unless your place is huge or you are a mega hoarder a long day would see it off.

Book a day off, invite friends over 2 days later and blitz the place.

If you can afford/arrange a service wash/dry/iron if there's a backlog of dirty laundry or ironing then a) it's done and b) it's out of the way giving you more space to work.