March of the Fledglings 2015

[Slingclutter]

Heartfelt thanks to Whoknows for running the February thread during such a stressful time for her (and to Toffee for helping out.)

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and on Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the purple prose and barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed (this is harder than you might imagine!)
(2)You are never behind; just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15 mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, regulars, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

Baby-step no. 26 for Thursday 26th March is : know that you are not behind!! Just jump in where we are/you are 'at'! Be kind to yourself! It takes a month to establish a habit etc and Flylady has built in plenty of 'CBA' days thankfully!!

We are in Zone 4 this week :the boudoir March 22 - 28)

If you want to, you can declutter 15 mins a day in this zone!

The detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 4 is here. Cackles hysterically as can't even see floor in my boudoir atm.

Thursday's mission is here. 15 mins spent clearing tops of chest of drawers or dressing tables.

The daily focus for Thurs is: errand day; dry cleaning, hair appts, shoe mending, post office etc.

The monthly habit for March is the controversial one about getting dressed immediately on rising and wearing lace up shoes indoors etc.

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

Keep going everyone!

*

Yes, I lost that battle tonight too Bitchy; had to prioritise hwk and eating over bathing this evening once we lost several hrs to dd's unscheduled afternoon nap! So have to be up at crack of sparrows doing preventative nit-combing tomorrow morning.. . will be with you in spirit!

Respect to all you Fledglings with more than one child; simply don't know how you fit it all in!!

oh Toffee I will join you on trying to improve my driving. although I've been saying that for years Still not tackled the dual carriage way problem. I just need lessons.

Personally I found a "run around" journey very easy to master because the same bit of road is very reassuring whatever the obstacles because you don't have to anticipate problems in the same way as if you are driving a new stretch - so even if your driving was quite basic one school run would be something to focus confidence on. I've mastered dd's school run in that way although it was way out of my comfort zone at the beginning of last year. Failing that is there a possibility of school transport for ds1?

SC definitely go for a blood test for dd.

Dogsbum I've stayed with friends who were expectant and their husbands were away - it is worth finding out if there is anyone willing to be at the end of a phone.

done
fossils this morning and sedimentary rock
home ed meetup
bought ds1 his ski gloves and yet more vital interfaces between him and the cruel winter
packed his suitcase
made him try on his new trousers
pasta and tomato sauce for supper

and did some driving! try to do some every day - ds2 is quite insistent that I do now that he has realised it is not necessary to walk to the tube if he can commandeer me to drive here there and everywhere - again beware of what you wish for Toffee. Dd is the same - never ceasing in her attempts to make me drop her off and pick her up now that she has sussed I can manage it.

Waves to Swan Yes, blood test v soon, she is eating like a horse so hopefully just a growth spurt (worried though until I know for sure).

Toffee agree that set routes are very reassuring; I have about seven and heaven help me if -theres a diversion-- . Also insist on automatic gear box - less to think about!

Swan you did brilliantly wrt yr dd's school run!

I shd follow your good example but am spoilt because dd is lucky enough to have a father who (when not away travelling) positively loves getting in a car and driving any time, any place, any where, at the drop of a hat!!

Just thought of another solution Toffee - aversion therapy (of sorts!). Come and drive over here and you'll be so traumatised by the positively insane and erratice driving of other road users that driving in UK will seem like a gentle stroll in the park

toffee I learnt within 6 months with not doing an intensive program, 2x2hr lessons per week. Most people would have learnt quicker than that but it took me the extra lessons to be confident. As long as you don't panic you will be fine. It is totally doable, but dependant on nerves and how you believe in yourself. so pretty much like everything really

SC as ds gets up at least an hour if not nearly 2 before he needs to for school I would rather the early night as he has more than enough time before school for a shower.

Sleep well Bitchy!

I drive an automatic. More expensive to buy and often more complicated to fix if they go wrong but still - much easier to learn on. I started on a manual and never really got anywhere after years of stop start lessons. Finally I switched to automatic and passed the test 2nd time.

No tofu consumed here, much to my children's relief! The annoying thing is they used to love that particular dish (tofu & broccoli fried rice) and now they turn their noses up at it. We had a kind of modified macaroni cheese instead.

I love driving! It's one of my favourite things :-)

Thank you for advice on the driving. I have had various driving lessons over the years, but always gave up before taking the test. My aversion seems to have grown worse over the years and now I can't see myself ever becoming a driver. I find it comforting to think I could just master the school run.

It doesn't help that DH is a really good and confident driver, so I've grown used to depending on him.

Interesting to hear about automatics making it easier to pass.

Swan - I'm not sure if DS1 will be eligible for school transport. That would solve the problem except that I can't imagine him being willing to travel with a stranger, especially if he's nervous about school. I suppose we might be able to build up to it gradually.

Bitchy - that's good to know that you passed your test after six months.

Oh, have just noticed that I've already done Thursday's mission, as I spent ages the other day cleaning and clearing up my bedside table. Am so enjoying having just one book on it, instead of towers of unread dusty paperbacks and dirty cups and unopened post.

Toffee if you are an online regular shopper and say it's quicker than I'm sure when I get the hang of it then it will be quicker but this time was just so painful that I nearly gave up and just went to the shop.

Not helped by my card refusing to do the shop once I'd spent hours inputting the shopping list because it decided it was an unexpected event and hence a security risk and this is despite me doing the shop with the same supermarket that I do all my real life spending in. Then when I tried to call up to get that sorted I couldn't get through all the security layers to get them to believe me that it was a legitimate shop, I had to use another account in the end.

Also both our landline and my mobile decided to stop working so I had to get my mobile sorted before I could even call the bank. I think in total I must have spent about eight hours trying to do the online shop, I was nearly crying with frustration by the end. I know it was because I'm hormonal that it upset me so much but it was really annoying

Thanks Toffee and Sling about commiserations about DP being away so late in pregnancy, it doesn't feel very real at the moment so I'm not currently worried but I'm wondering if I'm underestimating it and whether I will suddenly feel more emotional when he is gone. I'm not generally the emotional type but I am aware of feeling more emotionally vulnerable now that I'm pregnant than I would ever normally feel, it's an odd sensation.

In terms of help, DP's family are local and we are very close to his brother so he is going to be my main contact if I need anything while DP is away and I'm very comfortable with that. I've plenty of friends locally and at the end of a phone line if I need a chat. Generally I actually really enjoy getting the house to myself though, much as I love DP, I do really enjoy my own company and getting the tv to myself, etc. Pregnancy has really made my eczema flare up though so the biggest inconvenience will probably be not having him here to put cream on my itchy back! Bless him, he does have the odd use!

Toffee you are blessed to have a dh that actually likes driving as are you SC. Dh hates it and doesn't drive at all (although he has a licence from a test he passed 30 years ago) I wish I was a strong confident driver and then it wouldn't matter that he cannot drive.

On the other hand..it has meant I have had to do some driving and I am beginning to enjoy it rather gets in the car and turns on Radio 3

Dog I am with you on the online shop. I am told it gets easier the more you do it but I am just too impatient and I think in my heart of hearts I like pottering around throwing random things in the shopping basket.

That said it is a much more efficient way to shop - online I mean- but I suspect the key is to know what you want to buy and stick to it. And that means using the recipe meal plans in supermarket websites all that sort of thing.

And I have never managed it. The veg box and the milkman all make my life much easier though! We always have milk butter eggs and vegetables delivered now and I never cease to be grateful for them when they turn up on my doorstep.

I love driving too (as does DH) but we live in a small town in a rural area, if we had to sit in traffic jams every day we might feel differently. I agree that automatic may be the way to go Toffee - I've only occasionally driven one myself, but can see why many prefer them. I am quite strict about not ferrying the DCs everywhere by car though, we walk by default for anything under a mile (unlike a lot of families we know locally). I would also say longer term it's a good idea for both partners to be able to drive, as my parents have been finding out since DF lost his licence without warning on medical grounds a few weeks ago, he may not ever get it back .

Just been out to Sainsburys to restock balmy tissues, Lemsip etc, both DCs have a bit of a cold too.

Oh and I love online supermarket shopping too, I have a regular weekly slot with Ocado on a Thursday and a Riverford veg box with eggs and dairy on a Monday, so I only have to pop into the shops for the odd thing now. I don't plan particularly diligently, but Ocado are very good at getting used to what you order and suggesting all the right things.

I think driving is a skill that has to be practised though. I know when I stopped driving a while back that my confidence was eroded. If you are going to drive you find it easier the more you do it. And they say about driving the real learning comes after you pass your test. I learnt round where you are toffee It was ok, but i had a bit of a nightmare with hill starts on the road past the race course back to uni. Even got out of the car and refused to drive back. It took a lot of patience from my instructor, burning out a clutch and 4hrs to master it. But that is part of learning.

Internet shopping is beyond me. Would drive me potty. I need to be able to check the ingredients. All the ingredients.

Swan sorry I've just spotted your message about someone at the end of the line. I think between DP's brother for practical things and lots of very local friends and the hospital being only a five minute drive away I should be ok. Thank god I don't live out in the sticks, that would be much more stressful I'm sure. Until DP goes I'm trying to manage his anxiety, so I don't think mine will kick in until he goes, if it kicks in at all.

I think I will struggle most with trying to behave myself and take things easy, I hate being less and less physically able

Timer - 15mins doing 15mins sitting building up to 15 mins doing 30 mins sitting etc...

You can check all the ingredients Bitchy - everything that's on the label is on the Ocado website, ingredients, nutritional info, allergies, instructions, manufacturer's details, the lot.

Swan, yes exactly, I will freely admit that I love pottering around the supermarket. DP hates supermarket shopping but I think there is nothing more pleasurable than looking at food and buying food, you may spot a slight food fixation here!

Whoknows I hope that I learn to acquire your love of online shopping as I'm sure it is the way that I need to go, at least whilst meerkitten is very small.

I absolutely love driving, I was a very nervous learner and never thought that I would ending up loving it. I had to learn to get a job and then I had to drive all over the county where I got the new job using an A to Z as soon as I'd learnt, having also had to share a ten to eleven hour drive with my then boyfriend just ten days after passing my test, we drove from Aberdeen to Kent. After those two baptisms of fire I was very confident and never looked back.

I would second the people saying that doing lots of driving is the key, even if it's only short easy journeys, it all counts and builds your experience and confidence.

Bitchy I never thought about that with the ingredients, I wonder if supermarkets do anything to help people who need to check all the ingredients, there must be lots of people in your position.

Swan Yes, definitely do feel very blessed to have a dh who loves driving (even though he insists on always taking "the racing line" which usually makes me hurl after 30 mins or so). He's a very safe driver (not remotely reckless or anything) but let's just say his driving "style" is a little bit challenging; (ie he thinks he is the reincarnation of Ayrton Senna) and was renowned at university for making friends and previous girlfriends either puke or cry !!

And as Whoknows has rightly pointed out, at the same time, am aware that it's not good to get too used to having people drive you everywhere, although living over here hasn't really helped with that! (It's taken years and years to get used to driving on the 'wrong' side of the road, but now I sometimes have difficulty when I am back in UK and driving in the middle of rural Suffolk, and suddenly wonder which way I should be driving around a roundabout!!)

If I were to win millions of pounds on the lottery, my first outgoing would be a car with full-time chauffeur! Think that would be the ultimate luxury!

Whoknows it must be so hard for your father (and the whole family) not to be able to drive any longer . It must be such a blow to one's confidence too; just when you need it boosting.

And sorry to hear that the dc have succumbed to lurgy too! Hope you all manage to have a reasonable night's sleep!

Dogsbum I absolutely lurve on-line shopping (strictly non perishable stuff) and I promise you it does get easier and much, much quicker!! (Most of the websites have a facility whereby you can save your previous shop, so you can just click on that and delete or add a few things each time you do it, which saves a lot of time.) Admittedly though, it does take ages when you first try it and sometimes, when it goes wrong as you describe, it can be incredibly time-consuming and frustrating! It seems to work 9 times out of 10 though usually! Honest!

As I have a fierce loathing of the 'grandes surfaces' supermarkets, I tend to buy the same boring heavy bulky things on-line like big bags of rice, loo rolls, baked beans, washing powder, cleaning products etc etc and then just do little nips here and there to butchers, bakers, tiny local supermarkets for veg (where you don't have to queue!). Makes the whole process so much more enjoyable! And the big "weekly" shop doesn't really exist here as a concept anyway, so things much more geared up to buying fresh things daily or every two days or so. (Gather it is going that way in UK too.)

Reassuring to hear that you have lots of family and friends nearby and if you like having the house to yourself, then I am sure you will enjoy the period when your dp is away!! Especially if you get a strong nesting instinct, you will be able to re-arrange the house to your heart's content!!

Oh dear, forgive my rambling on . Nice to be able to 'chat' on here this evening though - just like old times!

G'night all!

Oh dear, took so long to write that, that I've missed a lot of x posts!!

Must go to bed but just wanted to say to Dogsbum you never know, you might get an energy rush in the last few weeks of pregnancy! A few lucky women do. And if not, at least you can take it very steady and have lots of day time naps! Very touching that your dh is so concerned about you though!

Bitchy/Whoknows wasn't there some bod on The Apprentice a while back whose start-up involved creating an app that matched up recipes with ingredients on on-line shopping websites? And Lord Sugar dismissed it out of hand as being too obscure. And everyone afterwards said it was a great idea! (Apologies if this already exists/is standard practice in UK - a bit behind over here!)

I remember that SC, you can do that with the recipeson Ocado, but not sure if it's in other websites.

Ocado sounds fab Whoknows !! Only one true on-line shopping provider here which is rapidly going downhill due to lack of competition. Choice gets more limited month by month! (Although you can do that ordering on-line then picking up by car thing at a few others but don't really see point of that tbh.) You are spoilt for choice in the UK! Internet shopping about 30 yrs behind the times over here!

whoknows the only problem is whether the supermarkets keep up with the manufacturers wrt recipe changes. Manufacturers are buggers for improving aka changing for the sake of it things

I am hungry, its why i can't sleep. no fecking idea what i want to eat though.

SC it is nice when the thread is less business like and more chatty.