March of the Fledglings 2015

[Slingclutter]

Heartfelt thanks to Whoknows for running the February thread during such a stressful time for her (and to Toffee for helping out.)

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and on Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the purple prose and barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed (this is harder than you might imagine!)
(2)You are never behind; just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight - it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15 mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, regulars, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

Sling - tempting but not worth the hassle (although I know where he lives and he doesn't know where I live!) It was dark when it happened so neither of us could see damage on the cars, it is quite possible his didn't have any to speak of (it was a very superior make compared to mine) and he just thought I was trying it on. However that is being very charitable and I think far more likely he got home, realised how much it was going to cost him and that as there were no witnesses he could chance his arm.

Anyway, second performance at drama group tonight went well, I was helping backstage this time and it was really good fun. DD is currently in the bath practising her audition songs for the next show. Yesterday something lovely happened too, I bumped into one of DS's former teachers, who left their school a while ago, she was instrumental in getting him diagnosed and started on the path to the statement, in fact the only one who has truly understood him. I had been hoping I would be able to thank her for it one day so I was very pleased to see her.

Fiz - another performer! My DD dances too, albeit not with as much enthusaism as her singing and acting. It's such a brilliant experience for them. Good luck to your DD next week.

Toffee - yes to the constant "nope" from the DCs. I am getting sick of it too. DS veers from being sweet little boy to arsey little shit at the moment, whereas DD just sweetly says no

Evening all! Anyone see the rugby? Brilliant match!!! [Missed the accompanying Belgian beer however!] Dh didn't help my diet by making Moroccan meatballs and then a tarte tatin. (This was in addition to the healthy chicken I was roasting.) I have absolutely nil resistance Got to start taking more responsibility for what I guzzle of an evening!

So I can rival you there a bit Bitchy. My ta da list for today reads:

eating

Oh well Whoknows you could always let down his tyres worth a try. Still really unfair though given that he reversed in to you. And lovely about your ds's old teacher!

Whoknows/Fizrim Yes, lots of budding performers on here! And wish organisers were sensible enough here to put on shows in March rather than at the end of the year when everything else is happening!! Great that your dc are both getting so much out of it.

Swan [SC puts fingers in ears wrt talk of uncooperative teens - it is bad enough now!] I actually agree with children being bored too (at home rather than school ideally, as I think it stimulates creativity) but it's (sort of!!) reassuring to know that most 11 yr olds find school subjects boring too, and it's not just dd! Arf at your "diplomatic" ds2!!

Shuffling off to bed now. Why is doing 'not a lot' so exhausting?

WhoKnows - that's dreadful about the car insurance and so unfair on you. It's shocking that someone can be so dishonest. We had a similar thing happen when a woman drove into the back of our car once. She gave us the number of her car insurer, then it turned out she hadn't paid the premiums for months so wasn't actually insured at all. We had a long battle to get any recompense.

Swan - 'surround him with stuff...' - but I feel I should be doing stuff with him and making sure he keeps up with his school peers . I am going to lay off the worksheets, though, and let him do more stuff online or just read things with him. Might have found a student who'll teach him Maths too.

SC - goodness, the schools in Austria are tough on their DC, aren't they? I have never thought of training DC to work when under par, though I rather wish I had!

Fizrim - lovely that your DD is enjoying dancing so much. Are you going to see her performance next week?

Bitchy - glad you caught up with sleep and knitting.

ta da

Slow start - read book, browsed online, general slobbiness
Bath, hairwash, dressed to slippers
Swished and swiped in bathroom
Made lunch
Washing on
Dishwasher on
Listened to play on R4 whilst organising fridge magnets (hardly a priority, but it looks tidier now)
Cleared clutter from bedside table
Put piles of books away in cupboard
Sorted some paperwork
Wiped bedside table
Cooked dinner
Fell asleep
Woke up in time to say goodnight to DS2 and watch telly with DH

I'm pleased I managed to get some tangible Flying done today.

DH is taking DS2 out for the day tomorrow, so I'm planning to spend more time with DS1. We are planning to go out to a cafe together. I've told him he'll need to wash his hair and do his homework first, though.

But this is not school Toffee this is home school. It does not need to be structured, ds2 does not have to hit the same targets at the same time. Mix it up, encourage self learning that is missing from so many children educated in the school system. Teach the joy of learning and self motivation. Ds2 will be ok in terms of his peers and what he can do, he will catch up any skills so long has he has love and motivation to learn. Suggest a study book/topic of his choice, give him things it has to include (eg statistics, writing, research etc) he'll hit the skills without even realising it and have fun doing it. You are a fabulous home educator, just allow yourself to be one without second guessing yourself and making yourself feel guilty. What about getting ds to chose a day trip, research plan and write it up. Some times all you need is an adventure.

Morning all.

Did a house bleugh yesterday, which didn't take nearly so long because the house was tidier in the first place. I know that's the whole point of flying but still.

SC still think that the school were being ridiculous. What you can do if you absolutely have to is quite different from forcing yourself to work through the flu if you don't have to, and has the potential to make things worse, let alone spreading the bug around, as you said.

Whoknows what a git about the insurance!

Linzer would you like me to send you the link to the Netzblatt or have you seen it now?

Very impressed by everyone's Flying activities on here! Well done Fledglings!!

Blue particularly impressive that your house is at that level of Flying when you have so much work on your plate!
Agree about the school - they don't when to stop sometimes!

Toffee Congrats on such a long list achieved, and hope you and ds1 have a lovely trip out together.

They are relatively tough here (Belgium! ) but don't think it is as tough as the 'pure' French system thankfully. I forgot to mention the other main cultural difference, that they think much more collectively; ie what is best for the group (rather than the individual) takes precedence. Which explains to some degree their actions in asking dd to come in when she was ill.

(This is still very apparent in business meetings here - mostly v. positive for an organisation - but can be difficult when people are too afraid to speak out against the consensus.)

[Waves crochet hooks and knitting needles in friendly manner in direction of Bitchy! Been sorting through my old craft stores this morning.]

Day started in a very calm way: we gave Mass a miss this morning so that dd has the best chance to recover and be back at school tomorrow.
But now we've all had a mahoosive argument which has been v. unsettling.

You know those arguments (like a fire) that start with a very small relatively uncontentious subject, which touches raw nerves unexpectedly and then turns in to a full raging blaze leaving everyone a bit shocked and discombobulated ? Well it was one of those.

Started with dd badgering us (me in particular) about getting a dog she saw on a rescue centre web site. (Happened to be very unsuitable one for our urban living situation.) I countered as to why this wouldn't be possible using the "we" argument to include dh and myself but said we would consider very carefully getting a different sort of type but we wouldn't be rushed or blackmailed in to it and that it was ultimately the parents' responsibility (and that I believed dogs were better off in a more rural environment). DD understandably upset. Dh then weighed in and managed to sway the conversation very nattily so that he came up smelling of roses and I was to blame entirely. This then evolved in to an argument about dd being an only child whose best friend has moved away (true) and somehow I ended up to blame for all that as well . About to go out for a walk on my own! Harrumph!!

Waves Knitting needles back at SC Just ask them if you are going to be blamed for the lack of sun and the horrid weather next time. Seriously you are not able to control everything. mumbles darkly about the blame game

As last week was a bit crazy sleep pattern/stuff wise I decided to have another day just knitting. Starting to get a bit twitchy and wanting to do big clear out kinda stuff but I am going to put that down to coffee intake and the fact that I am knitting the mind numbingly boring separating sections so that the sampler throw can start to be pieced together. I decided that I will allow myself at most 2 more pattern strips and then edging (probably crocheted) as I need to curb my enthusiasm. I also decided that if more wool was required to complete this goal I would just use the remainder to construct a knitted skirt to go with thick tights/leggings in the winter. There will always be more patterns I want to try but if the throw gets too big it will be impossible to handle/wash etc.

Need to go get ds later too. So will have a nice bit of out of the house to curb any building cabin fever. Busy week next week so need to get a proper to do list sorted so that it is all under control, which tbh nothing feels that way atm. A few more early nights/ good night's sleep is needed I think.

Hope you are all having good weekends.

Oh, SC, that doesn't sound fair . You are absolutely right to be firm about the issue with your DD and not to raise her hopes. Dogs are such a big responsibility - and it will be mostly you doing the work involved, I expect.

Bitchy - you are absolutely right about school vs home school. I need to step back a bit and relax more about it, I think. I asked DS2 what he wants to do next week and he said, "Science". Can't argue with that.

I have had a very nice day with DS1.

ta da

My turn to make tea
Fed cats
Woke DS2
Waved off DH and DS2
Two loads of washing
Dishwasher loaded and switched on
DS1 ate breakfast and took his meds without a fuss
Dressed
To corner shop for treats and loo rolls
DS1 let me wash his hair but still won't discuss having it cut
(Hair brushing not allowed either - am still working on that)
DS1 sat down at the table and did his homework
My reward for his hard work: letting him show me information about bar codes, one of his latest interests (I sometimes wonder why it took so long for a professional to diagnose him )
Lunch together
Fed cats
Walked to a nearby park to sit on bench (too anxious to go to the cafe, but agreed to do this instead, so at least he achieved something)
Tidied sitting room

Off to catch a quick nap now before DH and DS2 arrive home. Am really pleased with all the things DS1 has achieved today.

Hope I didn't make myself sound too organised there, SC. It's just that we've been a bit better at picking up ourselves lately, and i don't think anyone truly tidy would be too impressed!

Evening all,

Mixed day on the Flying front. The DCs decided to revert to separate bedrooms a few weeks ago, having shared for about 4 years their stuff was well and truly mixed throughout both rooms, but I decided tonight it really isn't fair that DS should have to have a massive dolls house in his room so I started reorganising, it is still all pretty messy up there, but the DCs are happy. Also changed their sheets. DS came back from Scout camp tired and grubby but having enjoyed himself and put his own stuff in the washing machine.

I spent a happy hour up at the allotment in the sunshine and managed a bit of gardening at home too. I've got a busy week in prospect, three nights out plus DS starts having all his reassessments for his statement appeal. Looking forward to the schools breaking up now. Which reminds me, need to sort out childcare for the holidays.

SC - hope DD is better for tomorrow.

Blue - I was wondering how things were going at your school after all the the academy conversion stuff.

Bitchy - I've got a crochet blanket which is heading for being too big too handle, it is a stripe, so all in one piece and I am finding it hard to work on (it's about 6' wide by about 4' deep now), hadn't thought about the washing issue, must try it in the WM.

Evening all!

Bit of a 'meh' weekend again. Most of it seemingly spent bickering, nit-combing en famille (preventative but whole thing takes 1.5 hrs with dd's long hair) bed changing, helping dd learn the weekly poem and cooking roast shoulder of lamb (Moroccan style) which hadn't absorbed any of the spices it had been marinated in and was decidedly chewy to boot.

Dh and dd did apologise in their separate ways. Dh made me a huge filled pita bread at lunch (when I had previously declared I was skipping lunch as had had late breakfast) and dd, very kindly (given the situation and her disappointment and hurt pride etc) brought me a cup of tea and a slice of chocolate cake. Both much appreciated but can you spot the dysfunctional relationship with food here? Not trying to shirk responsibility, I'm as much to blame as anyone else and am feeling very disappointed in myself. And stats reflect this:

Sunday 9 March : a whopping 81 kg ]
Sunday/Monday 15/16 March: 80.6 kg
And today 22nd March, back up to 81.4 kg

So entire fortnight of dieting a complete failure!!

Heigh ho ... don't think I will be reporting body clutter any more on here until there is consistent positive progress to report! Think it is better just to keep quiet and try to plough on with it.

Relatively calm afternoon until dd spotted on rescue website that dog that she had set her heart on had been adopted. Cue lots of silent tears and general moodiness which made me feel surprisingly guilty, which in turn made me feel ratty because I was feeling guilty which I then proceeded to take out on dh who then got ratty back .. and so the day ended as it had begun. Ah the joys of family life!!

Determined to get out and have more family fun next weekend. Owing to bereavement, illness, office demands, this hasn't been happening enough recently.

Bitchy trying to envisage knitted skirt (intrigued). Is it like one of those long roll neck cable knit dresses but shorter? I know I've said this before, but I really admire how you plough on with the creative projects when you are too tired/in pain/CBA to do anything else. I really need to start following your example (except in my case it will be more of the latter CBA-ness than the two former !!)

Don't be daft Blue you should be shouting your Flying success from the roof-tops!! Gives us all hope and a much needed dose of positivity!!

Toffee crikey @ your long list and brilliant that you and ds1 had such an enjoyable day!! My nephew went through a period when he was obsessed with bar codes - I remember it well - my dsis2 ended up with lots of wierd and wonderful things that she didn't remember placing in her shopping trolleys!!

Goodness Whoknows was it only four years ago that your dc started sharing? It only seems like a minute!! Bravo to your ds for washing his own clothes (and to his ma for coaching him so well!) Good luck to you and your ds with all the reassessments this week!

Right, had better post links and get to bed, it is past midnight here ...

G'night all! [Waves to eveyrone I have missed.] Have a good week fledglings!

Sorry everyone! The Flylady website doesn't appear to be cooperating tonight. Will try again in the morning ...

oh I lost a post earlier

but SC would you like a dog (I think of you as very much a dog person) - leaving aside whether dd wants one? Often one gets so buried under the pros and cons of doing things for the children that you forget to ask what you yourself want and desire. It is a terrible side effect of always being in "parental responsibility" mode and worrying about doing too much or too little spoiling or otherwise.

Oh don't get me wrong SC there are days when I do fuck all and the crafting is minimal. I could have done 4 times as much on my knitting but did not have the focus this weekend. And often I make myself to pick up a project simply because if I do something it helps to keep my spirits up, helps to keep my brain occupied so I don't slip into self loathing and misery. It is too easy to do when you have chronic disorders. I just find for me, I am happier when I am multi tasking and multi tasking with a craft project is better than multi tasking with computer.

Skirt wise, I was thinking something like this or this

Ta da
knitting
drive miles
deal with a upset ds
Lose voice in the shouting whilst doing above
make bread
put on a load of washing
cook sausages ready for breakfast
cook crumble for ds
sort out some paperwork
Set alarm slightly earlier so that can get everything done that didn't get done tonight.

Monday is going to be busy. Too busy and not in a productive way. It will be most frustrating.

Good morning fledglings! Sorry the links are late!

Baby-step no. 23 for Mon 23rd March is : here establish your afternoon routine (and write up in CJ if you have one).

We are in Zone 4 this week : The Master Bedroom (March 22 - 28) . Not that we have any masters on this thread!

If you want to, you can declutter 15 mins a day in this zone!

The detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 4 is here.

Monday's mission is spend 15 mins clearing under your bed.

The daily focus for Monday is: our favourite home bleugh.

The monthly habit for March is the controversial one about getting dressed immediately on rising and wearing lace up shoes indoors etc.

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

Have a good start to the week everyone!

*

Sounds eminently prudent Bitchy! Especially as anything is better than nowt. Still find it very impressive! (And love those skirts - Brora would sell them for a fortune!!)

I, on the other hand, just slip in to self-loathing and misery and don't have a chronic condition to handle like you do. Must follow your good example (mean this seriously!).

Thanks Swan. I would indeed love a dog but am conflicted. I'm not very keen with dogs in an urban setting (Bxls already has chronic by-product problem on the streets) and this house has a very unsuitable layout ie once dog enters front door would not be possible to keep it out of kitchen or dining room, or any of the downstairs room for that matter (rooms all enfilade) and I'm a bit squeamish about dogs in food prep/eating areas, plus there is all the travelling we do etc etc. On the other hand, it would be good in terms of having to get out and walk more etc. DD can sense my indecision from forty paces !!

Still snowed under with work, still not much Flying going on, but not long to go now until the Easter holidays - am looking forward to the enforced break from work while we're away and hoping that things will be slightly less frantic when we get back. The afternoons should gradually start to get a little less hectic too after DS's first communion mid-April and DD2's music theory exam in May.

Blue A link to the Netzblatt would be great as I still haven't got round to finding what's going on. I was going to ask if you had the e-mail address of whoever's responsible for distribution, but I'm sure it will be in the Netzblatt - I can't actually remember when I received the last issue but it's been a while, so I may well have missed out on more than two.

Swan I'm afraid I don't know that area of Wales very well (have only been there a couple of times, the last time about 30 years ago). My only tip would be to remember to pronounce the g in Bangor but a) you probably know that already, and b) I'm sure it's not the kind of tip you were after. But I do have a friend on Anglesey I could ask if you have any specific questions about the area and am happy to help with any mid-Wales related questions!

WhoKnows Keep meaning to say that not long after you'd posted about receiving Miss Carter's War, I had an e-mail to say I'd be getting a copy too. I was going to ask my parents to post it on so that I could review it, but as I'll be there next week I'll pick it up then.

SC You've had so much going on recently that I really don't think you should feel a failure about the dieting. I was going to ask whether you could start again once things have calmed down a little, but I'm a dreadful proctrastinator so am not sure whether this is the best advice (I really am going to start exercising again once work is quieter ).
Going back to house prices (several pages back), there was a discussion on a local FB expat group about how the exchange rate is going to make it even more difficult for us to buy property in the UK - house prices don't go up at anything like the same rate here as it is (people tend to buy/build/inherit a house and then stay in it for the rest of their lives, so the housing market is nothing like as big as in Britain) and on top of that, we're now going to get about 20% less for our euro. DH thinks that living here and having several trips a year back to the UK is a good compromise, but it's not really the same as actually living in the UK... (Not that I want to move back atm, though; my homesickness seems to have passed since I booked our trip over at Easter.)

Talking of procrasinating, must start work. Waves to everyone else.

Waves to Linzer! Thank you! Trouble is, there is always something going on so I am just going to have to find a means of dieting completely separate from dh. Feel miserable this size!

Good to hear you are no longer feeling home sick. Your property market sounds very similar to here - generally very stable - wthout many peaks and troughs. People are in education forever, then marry and start a family around 28 yrs, rent for a couple of years, buy or inherit a property once they are established and, as you say, never move again. Equivalent of stamp duty is extortionate too, so relatively few purchases per family per lifetime. Bxls is a bit of a wierd case of course as population so transient, but more or less similar profile in native pop. Property in UK seems to be shooting sky high and we are way behind again ... . Only advantage, you do get a lot more house for your money here though! I would love to have a little bolt hole in UK but need to find a job first!

Still longing for daffodils and green fields, but we are heading to see dh's sister this Easter.

SC Yes, the property market does sound very similar - forgot to say that all the fees and duties that have to be paid over here (usually over 10% of the property price) are probably another reason why people tend to stay put once they've bought somewhere. I also love the idea of a bolt hole in the UK, but can't see it happening due to the expense and logistics. Am assuming your DH's sister isn't in the UK? Am never too sure whether going back to Britain helps or hinders homesickness... it helps before I go, I think, and I'm usually ready to come back to Austria after a week or two, but I often find leaving very hard. It also often depends on the weather in both countries.

Nope, S. of France, which is lovely of course, but a bit built up for my taste - and a very long drive!

Fees and duties here 13%-15%!

I have to say that I would worry if I were to ever buy a property in the UK that I would never, ever want to leave!!

Right, I have avoided it long enough. It is 9 am here, dd is back at school, I have to face this horror of a house ... .

Start with 15mins Good Luck SC

Another shocking night's sleep. The wasps seem to be coming around from hibernation so there is that annual delight of them appearing from the loft at fucking 6am buzzing loudly and angrily. Daft fucking things can find their way in, I wish they would just find their own way out too!

Quick hello from me, I am doing a bit of a stash and dash today to hide paperwork and magazines from the front room. Also need to clean the kitchen but may stash and dash that one as much as possible too.

Back later tonight, have a good day everyone.

ta da
lunch box
ds to school
play wasp hunt
function on 2 1/2 hrs sleep
work

to do
Drag self to training and try not to die
Early night

WhoKnows, re school, it seems much the same on the surface, but there have been some difficulties behind the scenes. Hopefully things are now settling down. I can't remember whether I've said on the thread, but I'm now a governor so can keep an eye on what they're getting up to, I hope. The trust doesn't seem to be as bad as some of the big chains round here but it's early days yet...

Right, got to get the boys...

Am completely failing on the Flying front, but just popped in to say DD2 got a distinction in her Grade 2 guitar exam on Friday! Cue one very happy girl.

I on the other hand am distinctly not happy at my progress with my dissertation. 'Tis agony, in fact. Ah well, will soldier on

Bitchy we used to have wasps in our loft. A man put white powder into the nest and they haven't come back in last 8 years???

Blue glad school has not fulfilled worst fears after becoming academy

Grey zips aren't so bad! Quite a cheap thrill really It's just the end bit that is a bit tricky (turning the ends in satisfactorily) and aligning both sides at once. My first zip was very plain to see and the last zip was beautifully concealed but they both did the trick.

Cleared up after ds2's Home Ed birthday party (in the day rather than on a Sat so really quite relaxing) just five guests but that was plenty.

Wii Lunch Park Wii Tennis! Cleared up before too but that seems to be a lot of hiding stuff so decluttering still hasn't really worked I fear