Argghhhh... should I just resign to the fact i need to do it all myself!

[poppyseedbagel]

So hubby is off work currently on annual leave this week, whilst I am working -8 hours a day, an hours commute on top.

He hasn't had anything special planned, but I thought everyday I would be coming home to a clean house. But no. It's taken him until today to clean out the fish bowl (I asked him on Sunday to do it Monday). He put a clothes wash on (also after I asked him Sunday) and it's came out all oussy from a table runner he washed with it that doesn't wash well. I'm going to have to rewash it all as I don't have a lint roller (and sellotape wrapped around my hand did nothing!). I have a vase of dead flowers sitting on the table, I wonder how long I can leave them before he actually throws them away.

Everything else is just how I have left it. Either I clean, or it doesn't get done, or it doesn't get done right!

I'm just having a rant, as I thought he would surprise me this week. I do actually like cleaning, but I begrudge doing everything! If he took some other responsibility then I would be perfectly happy to do it all myself, but is it fair to do all the cleaning, cooking, shopping ect. when he gets to enjoy some leisure time?

exasperated...

I'm sure they do housework badly, so we don't ask again.

What made you think he would spend his week off work, cleaning the house?
It's the last thing I would do if I had the week off!

I find the mantra 'lower your expectations to avoid disappointment' helps. My dh although lovy in many ways drives me mad, mostly because he breezily says 'just let me know what I can do to help' then when I give him a very short list of three four five minute jobs he doesn't do any of them, I'd prefer him not to offer raise my hopes

I'm convinced he must do it poorly so he get's away with doing it again. I don't know how many times i've had to teach him how to properly fold a t-shirt. and when hanging up washing, how can you not shake out the major wrinkles in the clothes!!

I love having a week off to do housework! I wasn't expecting a deep house clean, but when he's in all day playing computer games why can't he put on a washing or hoover the floor without me having to ask him to do it first?

He is on annual leave so YABU. He is allowed a break.

Hubby is the same 'let me know what i can do' but usually when i'm already in a grump because he has sat on his butt for hours before I get home from work and have to do it myself.. again!

A break from what? He doesn't do anything to help around the house when he is at work!?

If you both work, you should both to the housework. If he doesn't do any of it usually then he should be making up for it this week! He could spend an hour a day which is nothing and get stuff done. Washing/tidying up/hoovering/polishing still loads of time for games.
Who do some men not do anything around the house when both work ?
Me and DH did housework every Sunday together. Then during week, i'd cook, & wash up, he'd dry up, put away. Id put washing on, he'd put on airer etc etc. why would it be any other way if you both work?
He needs a kick up the arse.

Honestly I know he needs to start pulling his weight! And we have had multiple conversations arguments about it!
He does help with the dog which is great, he's brill for taking his turn taking the dog out and I am so thankful for that!

Ah yes, I remember the time DH said "I've tidied up for you". To which I said, "considering that every single thing you have put away was your own mess, I think you can say that you have tidied up for yourself."

Or the time when he came back from his mother's and said how tidy her house was these days, and how it never used to be when they were children. Then he had a lightbulb moment and said that perhaps it was him and his sister who were the untidy ones!

Not that this has made much difference - I just don't think he notices.

DH is the same! He's said before- well how do I know if it needs cleaning?
Ehhh... cause it will be dirty, or things look untidy!

A break from what? He doesn't do anything to help around the house when he is at work!?

A break from any kind of work, a chance to rest and recuperate, isn't that what annual leave is for?
In any case, you have admitted to loving doing the housework so why would he rob you of the pleasure?

We both work, we both do the household chores. If one of us is off and the other on annual leave then yes the one who is off would be expected to pick up more of the housework and childcare during the day (regardless of who it is) so we can spend more time relaxing together as a family when the other gets home.
The only time household chores get abandoned totally is during holidays as no one is home to do it!
OP, in your situation I would do a list (and I have done in the past) of things which need doing around the house. I notice more things than DH but he does them when asked so I don't get annoyed about it as it gets done.

That was meant to read *if one of us is off on annual leave and the other is at work

I am really shocked that people are saying that he's on annual leave so shouldn't have to do anything! It is all very 1950s. What about poor OP?

Look, men can do housework just as well as women can. There is absolutely no gender component to being able to put on a load of washing or to clean out some flowers. It is not difficult, and if they don't know how to work a washing machine, it's high time that they found out. I blame PILs for not teaching them properly. There seems to be a 'lost generation' of completely useless, spoiled men that do not know how to do anything around the house, from washing to DIY. Frankly, I think women should trade them in for better and younger models.

Annual leave is absolutely no excuse at all. The OP is not asking that her husband spends 8 hours a day cleaning the house - she's asking that he does some basic tasks that would take a few minutes maximum. That he hasn't even been bothered to do so is deeply inconsiderate.