how can you be good housewife/mum and be a work at home mum

[blueamema]

Help needed!!!

Really silly actually! Am struggling to be both housewife/mum/cleaner/cook etc AND work at home mum at the moment! 13mth dd is really taking up all my time, just starting to walk and is constantly on the go!

I'm guessing you will be thinking, 'what are you doing on here then?', but just wanted some advice from any other 'work at home mum's'.
I used to teach 16-18yrs, but have given it up to be mum for a few yrs. unfortunately making a living by producing baby clothing and using a sewing machine just isn?t a very baby friendly thing at the moment with my investigative dd and her little fingers everywhere!!
And there is only so much cBeebies she can watch and I?m sure she is getting bored of her toys as recently I have seen her throwing them across the room in a, ? I?m really bored with these? kind of way!

Any advice would be very much appreciated.
Xmas is not too far away and I really need to get some money in and get going on my sewing machine!!!!!

I work as a childminder - not quite the same as needing a sewing machine out though.
not really sure what to say. With regards to thehousework though, i have been following the flylady threads. I don't post on it, but it certainly has given me more of a routine, and i'm not getting so stressed. can you do your work when your DD is sleeping, and give over an hour or so to playing with her, taking her to the park etc.

I can't see that they are compatible. Surely you are at home to look after her? You would not expect to take to any other job with you and get on with it with her there? So nap times and evenings it is. And the less housework the better - I don't even try to do anything much other than childcare when I am looking after my 2 (age 2 and 4)

Agree with Spana, when they get to this stage, its either nursery for a morning (which defeats the object) so you can crack on with work, or naps times and evenings for you to work in, when they get to this age, its the only thing you can do as they need to explore and play with mummy!

you cant. neglect your kid or neglect the housework. you choose.

sorry i knwo others will say its a bit harsh. but you might as well knwo now, rather than spend years beating yourself up because your sink isnt shiny

or send your Dd to nursey or a childminder a few days a week and get on with your work

I am struggling with the same problem to be honest. I find as a WAHM you are expected to do everything but if you went out to work no one would expect you to do all the house work, childmind and work at the same time.
So at the moment I feel like I can't do an effective job work wise, my house is a mess and my child spends far too much time infront of Cbeebies. I have decided as soon as I start earning more(soon hopefully)I am going to get a local childminder who will look after my dd in her own house for a couple of days a week.
Just so that dd gets some undivided attention and hopefully some company adn I get a couple of free days a week so I can concentrate and make calls without shrieking in the background!

i think the only answer is to work hard during her naps and play with her and get out the house everyday even if its just a walk in the park, i used to be a full time mum to my 2 but they are older now at 3yrs and 7yrs i am now a childminder looking after more kids, i just juggle my housework during the week before and after the kids have left and at the weekend, although i'm now planning on working a saturday too for extra money for christmas!

Work when someone else can play with her or she is in bed.

Get a cleaner or let your house be untidy.

Cook 2 meals at once and the have one the next day with no preparation, or make double quantities and only cook once every four days.

The only way is to have a routine and stick to it.
Go for a long walk before you work and kids watch tv and they'll be happy for longer with out you and you won't feel so bad.
Give dc a baby wipe and ask for help cleaning.
If you're sewing give dc the scraps to do a collage with.
I paint and the times I get most done are when I give the kids a project similar to the one I'm working on.
HTH, and good luck!!

Good thread, blueamema, as this is something I'm struggling with at the mo, despite dd being older and at nursery 4 mornings a week!

I agree with dreamcatcher about involving dd - If she's helping me make cards up (giving me envelopes or giving me stickers for the cellophane!) then she's OK. The problems come when I try to make/receive phonecalls!

I'm amazed you've done as well as you have. I've gradually increased the hours I work in the office rather than at home as my ds has got older, noisier, more demanding and less 'out of sight, out of mind' about me.

I don't realistically think you can expect to do work requiring concentration, particularly involving something which could be dangerous if little one got her fingers in the way, with such a young child. Nap times and evenings seem to be your only solution, although I must say I find doing sewing in artificial light quite hard-going.

You can't do the housework, AND look after dd AND do other work. Two out of the three, yes, but not all three simultaneously. (Mind you, I can't even do housework and take care of my ds!)

Thanks all...

dd is never neglected at all. cbeebies is a brief morning thing whilst I?m running round with the Hoover/duster/washing etc. And we are always singing the songs together anyway. (am I the only one to let dd watch cbeebies??)
We go out everyday to the park/swimming/walking/seeing friends etc.

I would do more during naps, but dd has never since birth slept for more than 30 mins in the day! Although she does sleep 11 ish hrs at night so I can't complain. And this is obviously when I work the most on the sewing, until midnight or later most days. Much to hubs annoyance as he can?t always hear the TV over the sewing machine!!!

Saltire... what/who is the fly lady??
Threebob? wise words always do bulk cooking/freezer pots for dd etc

Wish I could be super mum, as I?m sure we all do! I am kinda feeling like a bad mum after reading this, but I have to get some money in to pay bills/mortgage etc. So late nights working it will have to be until I can afford to send dd to a childminder for a couple of mornings a week or something.

Kidstrack?good luck with the Saturday job!

Don't worry - I positively wish ds would watch CBeebies! (Then I could do some bloody ironing when he has me up at 5 a.m.)

Sounds like you're pushing yourself very hard, I hope you can find some timem just for yourself.

Being a mum is always a trade-off I think. We can't do it perfectly, we can only do the best we can with the circumstances we find ourselves in.

blueamema you are doing good getting out and the usual stuff we tend to do with them at your dd's age, both mine watched cbeebies in the morning when we were at home, def think childminder for one full day would benefit you and also dd, it means you could get a full days work done while dd has time away from you with the childminder! hope it works out for you!

I manage it fairly well, but the nature of my work is so that I can fit it in around the family. I used to only work when DD was napping and in the evenings. But now she isn't sleeping during the day (she is 2.8) she goes to creche 2 mornings a week and one afternoon. But I can't work with her around/awake - it simply doesn't work, isn't fair, and totally defeats the object of my being at home. So that is why I chose something that is flexible with hours and times. Housework takes a backseat but I do have a cleaner once a week.

thanks tribpot
dreamcatcher and betty... lovely idea about involving dd, which i do to a certain degree, but she is still a little young to be making pictures with the fabric scraps. And definately to young to be getting the needle out for a bit of cross stitch! (but I can't wait till she is old enough!)

Annyway better get on with it!!!

good post. I'm struggling at the moment, I've always been a sahm, six months ago I agreed to do a translation. but even though my children are at nursery two and a half days a week I'm really behind. because in those two days and a half I have to squeeze the work, the ironing, the shopping etc. I'm afraid I'm not very good at doing more than one thing at a time, when the children are home I tend to neglect housework etc to spend my time with them. so I work at night.
yes I think that sticking to a routine is quite helpful. dd loves to help cleaning the bathroom...

P.S just wondered where I can find out about childminders/cleaners in my area?? Where is best to look?
Not sure I can afford it at the moment, but wouldn't mind having a look around.

Thanks again

Will check thread later

know exactly how you feel. I feel i fail all three (kids,house,work) quite often. Trying to do all of it all the time inevitably leads to doing all badly!
I find flylady has sorted my home out and offce quite well. I stick to routines, setting out clothes the night before type stuff, all helps. It is fine when everything is going to plan but as soon as there is a big deadline/someone is sick on the sofa/DD1 is off school etc etc it all goes to pot and takes ages to get back on track!

I run a business from home and also tend to struggle. Did a time management course which was useful so now make a lost of lists and try to divide my time better.

I always do a few chores in themorning before starting work, take a lunch hour and do a bit more. prepare food either before school run or just after.Unfortunately I am often really busy between 4-5pm so let kids split the time between doing homework/tv/pc then if the homewor doesn't need help.

Only way to do it I find is to be quite regimented and disiplined. Wouldn't ever want to have to go out to work elsewhere though, think of the time wasted travelling to and from work and lunch breaks in city centres! Thats 2hrs I have for housework.

Actually I agree with Kidstrack, although when ds was 13 months he was too clingy for me to have considered a childminder. Fortunately about a month ago he came out of that phase (he's now 16 months) and spends each morning with a lovely childminder (I have to say that cos she is an MNer ) and he adores it. Her two little boys are fab with him and (what is really annoying me!) she has even got him to take properly to solids, something I've been struggling with for months and months. Plus I think his walking has come on by having the example of her little ones too.

A full day, or two half-days, might be really good for you both - depending on how you feel about it of course. I didn't want dh in full-time childcare (dh is a SAHD but chronically ill) and this is probably more hours than I would ideally want but as a compromise, it's a brilliant one.

howlidaymum...totally agree with you about travel time being lost cleaning/family time! that's one of the reasons I gave up job as it took me 1 hour to get to school!

lemontart.. asked someone earlier in thread, but who is this flylady?? is it some sort of housekeeping/business book? website??

Flylady . I'm making slow progress with her methods, but it's already made a big difference to me.

There are a bunch of us MNers who are FLYers, we have a daily thread so we can ramble about housework to people who might marginally care (It's actually more like a daily diary of what you've done, I don't think anybody studies it intently and thinks 'hmm, jessicaandrebeccasmummy has cleaned out her bathroom cabinet, shall I do mine?'

Someone will post a new thread tomorrow in Good Housekeeping which will cover us for the weekend - here's today's - enjoy! It really can help to get on top of household jobs.

someone agreed with me yeah for tribpot! I'm so hapy someone used my name! I'm easily pleased! i have also been looking at the flylady thread, it makes a lot of sense!