Clutter, emotions, and folding our socks - Kondo thread 6. All welcome!

[SteptoeAndDaughter]

The Book: The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo, Cathy Hirano

Summary of the process link from mipmop

Article of top tips by Marie Kondo

Thread 5
Thread 4
Thread 3
Thread 2
Thread 1

And BeCool's copy of Coughles list of ORDER from Thread 2 for everyone:

"ORDER TO DECLUTTER/LOCATE THE JOY*

Clothes folding by rummy
Books
Papers
CDs
DVDs
Skincare products
Make-up
Accessories
Valuables (passports, credit cards, etc.)
Electrical equipment and appliances (digital cameras, electric cords, anything that seems vaguely ‘electric’)
Household equipment (stationery and writing materials, sewing kits, etc.)
Household supplies (expendables like medicine, detergents, tissues, etc.)
Kitchen goods/ food supplies
Other (If you have many items related to a particular interest or hobby, such as ski equipment, then treat these as a single subcategory.)

KonMari stresses that sentimental items should be left till the end. So for example, when you are doing papers, don't include photos of your children, love letters, old school reports etc, leave anything with a sentimental connection for later."

*As discussed in previous threads, your order for decluttering and finding the joy/spark/recognizing may be different to recommendations.

Ziopy

It does get better it just takes time. Did youdo your clothes yet ? If not you might be better to start there with a snall category. Or just do a small category in kitchen such as tea towels and fold them. Don't give uo.

Wow! Nearly 6500 posts on this. I was on the first thread or two and managed to get rid of quite a lot of stuff a few months back, but already it has started to reaccumulate and I need to get back into this and be more ruthless. Will read some of the threads for inspiration.

Christmas was a bit frustrating in that some of the gifts we received seemed to simply replace unwanted items that we had previously got rid of.

Why do people seem to want to fill other people's house with stuff?

I was reminded a little bit of this thread by Woman's Hour on 5th January (I listen on podcasts, so sometimes get a little behind).

It was a phone in entitled 'Can choosing to live with less make you happier?' and is available for a further 9 days at here.

There were plenty of people saying you can be happy without loads of stuff, and having a clear house is liberating, there was even one woman who had lost 99% of her possessions in a house fire (it doesn't seem that anyone was injured) and she said it was incredibly liberating and several years on, she had replaced hardly anything and loved her new clear house with empty cupboards and drawers. I must admit, I have fantasised in the past about losing everything in a fire or flood and starting again from scratch.

But the presenter Jane Garvey was quite aggressively pro 'lots of stuff' as if she simply couldn't see that some people don't want houses crammed with possessions. She just kept saying 'but don't you need to have....' and why don't you want....'.

Morning ladies, I would love to join you all. I bought the book over 2 months ago but still haven't opened it. Am in serious need of "kondoing"

Zippidydoodah

Don't feel down, it's okay if only a tiny bit gets done at a time. It's still progress.

I mentioned a couple of threads back that I've been working on the decluttering for over a year, and am definitely still not done. (Incidentally, I also started with one corner of the kitchen.) Life tends to keep getting in the way. For me, there are issues with illness, ASD issues with DS, and also work deadlines (freelance) which mean that everything else gets put on hold while I work myself into a stupor of exhaustion and the bare minimum of everything else gets done.

But the bits that have been cleared out, stay cleared out. And so household-wise, things are better than they were before.

And along the way of doing all this, I also realised that there are tiny things which boost my mood even when everything else is going pear-shaped, and also motivate me a tiny bit.
As an example, I love textiles, and certain smells. So when I cleared off one particular surface that tended to attract clutter, I then covered the surface with a patterned woven silk scarf from Laos that is way too nice to languish in a cupboard. So when I see it, I get a tiny moment of happiness, and because I like the pattern too much to let it get covered up in random odds and ends, it motivates me in keeping it clear. Similarly, with the smell thing, I stored incense on a shelf at a height and position so I just get one whiff of it as I reach up to get the dishwasher tabs. Again, just another tiny moment of happiness in a day which might otherwise be not too great.

So, enjoy your cleared corner of the kitchen!

Thank you! I think the problem is maybe trying to do everything at once!

I have no doubt that we'd be happier as a family with far less stuff! It's my dc's birthday soon so the Christmas tat will be multiplied, argh! I agree too about putting stuff in other peoples houses; we have some very large pieces of plastic that were bought for my kids for Christmas. Obviously we are grateful but it's such a pain sorting storage/trying to get rid of stuff!

Oh gosh thank you anzu! It does make me smile when I open my cupboard to get a nice mug out without battling through other komono and random rubbish mugs!

Oh, goodie, so I am folding socks correct ;) DH and DS undo my neat rows of socks in their drawers every time they take out a pair! DH is almost blind and DS is 7, so I guess I can't really tell them off. But I hate seeing my neat rows ruined ;) So I was thinking perhaps I was doing it wrong. I think I will try to put boxes without lids in DSs drawer, as he also has boxershorts and vests in the same drawer, that might help. DH just has too many socks, but they all bring him joy and they do actually get used. He always gets expensive left/right walking socks for Christmas, and they are very durable, so he rarely bins any.

On that note I bought both DH and DS new boxershorts as I don't seem to be able to fill the washing machine before they run out. The trouble is they are both quite fussy but don't like shopping, so they rely on me to stock up and it's often a case of buying and returning a couple of times before I get it right. But I think I got them some that they like. And I actually felt that buying these boxershorts would make life easier for them and me! It's nice to buy things that you know will have a purpose.

Having a bit of a nightmare getting new pyjamas for DS, he only has 3 pairs and one pair is almost too small. But he is so fussy, so I have yet to find a pair of traditional pyjamas that are not too expensive and that he likes.

DD is much easier with clothes. She is not fussy at all, and at age 10 she still prefers it if I choose her clothes.

I think I might start on summer clothes today. My goal is (still!) to have all seasons clothes in the wardrobe, like Marie suggests, and it just sounds wonderful.

I said to dp when we were on holiday, that our beautiful, minimalist villa type place had everything we could possibly need, and none of the rubbish we don't need. Aiming for somewhere near that, in my kitchen particularly!

Right- kids in playroom so I am off to sort my cookbook shelf!

Thank you again

I've just been to the hairdressers and she mentioned she was having a clear out, I have told her all about kondoing, she looked a bit scared but said she will Google it later! Next stop the charity shop with another bag of komono including...wait for it...hair crimpers!! I haven't crimped my hair since I was about 9 so I'm pretty sure I can live without them.

I'm now doing skincare, which is even worse than I thought - and I knew it was going to be bad. I have 24 bottles of body spray! (You can't get decent body spray here, so I stock up when I'm back in the UK.) And 27 moisturisers! (Although half are sample size.) Around a third I bought for myself, a third were presents and a third from Glossybox. I really don't want to get rid of them (especially not the ones I've bought) as I know I can use them eventually; the question is whether they'll go off before I get round to doing so...

I wish I knew of something like Give and Makeup here, but if I can't find a local equivalent, I'll put together a parcel to post when I come back to the UK in the summer (it would be extortionate to send it from here).

Zippidy I know how you feel - there seems to be komono everywhere I look. I also struggle with finding time; all three DC are at school but they're home from 11.15am onwards (all are back by lunchtime) and I also have work to fit in as well. I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm getting there slowly, and MK does say to allow 6 months for the process.

Ilkley I listened to that podcast recently too (I think it was discussed on here at the time, but I hadn't got round to listening then) and thought it was really interesting, particularly listening to the woman who'd lost everything in a fire. I have to admit my fantasies don't go quite that far but I do find myself wishing sometimes for another house move - even though I don't think I could face one - to force us to declutter properly. OTOH we probably wouldn't have time so would end up packing it all up into boxes and taking it with us to sort "later".

Actually, something I've found quite motivating when kondoing stuff is that it will be one (or usually more) less thing(s) to deal with if we ever move. Even if we stay in this house for the rest of our lives, someone will have to deal with it all our clutter belongings eventually.

I admit I've had the fire fantasy. I don't mean it obviously but it's tempting to think of getting rid of everything in one go. And being very mindful about starting again.

I sit in my parents and my pils houses and look around knowing I'll be the one dealing with all their komono when the time comes. Morbid I know. I wish they would clear out themselves before hand.

And both houses have loads of already-dead people's stuff in too.

I looked at my supposedly kondo'd underwear this morning and realised I had done it all wrong. I had concentrated too much on what I thought I needed rather then what I actually wanted and ended up with a drawer full of folded knickers that definitely did not bring me joy.

I have just rekondo'd the whole lot. The drawer now contains 1 pair of knickers, 2 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of tights and, 2 pairs of leggings. All of them still towing the line a bit on the joy scale. How many pairs of pants do you think you actually need? I do have a bit more in the washing machine so hopefully won't need to go commando for a couple of days at least. Think I might have to go underwear shopping when I get paid.

She does specifically mention sampled sized stuff in the book Linzer. I think it basically just says 'No!'. Though I may be paraphrasing a bit. :o

Hear I binned all my pants and got a new pack of 10

Zip can you ask for money towards memberships, clubs or days out for DS. Zoo, theatre, Lego land etc

Ilkly I listened to that podcast and enjoyed it.

JKS, I also look at my mums flat and think "Oh God". One day al of this will be mine". My aunt, my mums sister, actually told my mum off for having so much junk that will be there when she dies! My dad, thnakfully, is married to a woman my age, so she will be dealing with his stuff, and she has so much more herself. Yes, morbid, but facts, really. No way do I want my kids to one day forced to face what I didn't face myself.

Now to something really smug: I have exercise equipment in the garage, and I'd proud to say I actually use it ;) It's mainly weights, and I just came back from a session (the joys of working from home, working out in your lunch break). In the breaks between my sets I have taken to tidying/cleaning and now kondoing. I kondoed my tools (didn't actually bin much, but got it organised) and some of the shelves. Found lots of packaging materials from the move this summer, which I kept, but also a few bits that were not in their home, so they are now rehomed. Also identified a lot of wall mounted shelves, hooks and lamps that I will have to make decisions about. The aim is that if none of this is put up by the end of the week, it goes! Most of it won't go up because it's not right for this house, but it's things I really like, so I will have to be hard and get rid of it.

Ah, you're right Hear; I've just checked, and she does indeed say "no" - albeit in a slightly more long-winded fashion. Basically, a) people save them to use on trips but then never take them with them, and b) the small sizes used in samples deteriorate more quickly. I do always take sample sizes with me when I travel; the problem is, I'd probably need to go away every weekend for a year to get through them all!

JKS / misscph My mum actually asks me to help her declutter now so that I won't have to go through it all when she dies - I suppose it does sound morbid, but tbh I see it as practical more than anything. (It's actually my dad's stuff that I dread dealing with, as he's a real hoarder.)

I have decided I can't actually do this at the moment. Until the baby sleeps more at night I just don't have the energy.

But I will keep reading the thread because all of your progress is very inspiring.

Glad I'm not he only one being morbid!

Fil is an only child and a sentimental sod so has kept everything from his parents. Mil is even more sentimental and is one of 2 so has less I suppose but it seems more.
My mum did clear out a lot of her parents - I helped. And my dad had moved away from his parents so didn't really get left much/lumbered with much.

I'm one of 4 but live abroad and the youngest is in a tiny flat and works away a lot so I know it'll be me.
Dh's brother lives in Oz so it'll be down to him ie me.

Kiwi maybe wait till you feel more energised. It's a lot to kondo on little sleep with a little baby

Kondo'ed the Komono folder on my PC desktop! Every little helps ...

I can't remember who was talking about tackling komono but this is what worked for me . my house was a komono nightmare, I'm talking drawers full of mixed stuff, fruit bowl had junk and some fruit on top, pots round the house with komono in them. I got a selection of boxes and tried grouping stuff together as I went. So I had a box for
hand bands and jewellery
pens and stationery
toys
coins
stuff for the shed
and then I could dump stuff in these boxes as I found them and then I organised and kondoed them when I got to that section. It just helped me to not ignore stuff and also meant I had most of the stuff from the categories in the same place when I had to kondo them.

Hi all. Can I ask if anyone is dealing with e-mail? I am decluttering my old laptop which is slowly dying and don't want to transfer loads of old e-mails unnecessarily to my lovely new one. I have stacks of messages all in different folders (don't think MK would approve) - some with info for work, some sentimental, some with photos and I'm wondering if there is a new-fangled or indeed more logical way of storing and dealing with all of it. I am slogging through the messages individually at the moment but would welcome any ideas! Thanks

upandaway that is a fab idea! I will be shamelessly stealing it as I too live in komono nightmare. I kondo'd the 2 crates of crap I had, but am still struggling with the scattered komono. Recently emptied storage boxes, recently cleared table, and some recently re-discovered post it notes for labels. I'm actually really excited to get going on that now. :)