If you are a minimalist, come tell me about it

[CheerfulYank]

Is it lovely? It seems lovely.

We just have so. Much. Crap. We are drowning in it, and for what? I have actual daydreams of the house burning down and taking everything with it. ( Said lightheartedly!)

Where do you start? I want to get rid of things but I'm not sure where they would go. That sounds stupid, but...

We are hoping to move this year so have managed to get rid of loads after being a hoarder. I can't believe it's taken me do long to get round to it.

I do the sandals thing. I have a lot of clothes and kitchen gadgets for the person I am going to be in the future but I'm never going to cook waffles in a tea dress.

I agree with the PP who said the first thing is to stop bringing stuff into the house. I'm not really minimalist, but when we bought our first house we went from renting a two-bed house with lots of storage to a one-bed house with almost no storage. It was stressful, but meant we had to get rid of a lot of stuff we'd been hanging on to, and it also changed the way I felt about buying things unless I really needed them, and using the one-in, one-out philosophy.

I'm reading through the Marie Kondo threads, and the idea of sorting through stuff in categories is a good one. We moved house a few months ago (to a larger house), and I'm trying to go through everything we own in groups and decide what to keep (the lack of storage in the old house meant stuff was scattered wherever there was space).

This is a topic I've been reading about for the past year or so.

I've realised that I feel happier with less stuff - it's the stuff that tended to pile up and surround me. Always waiting for something to be done to it.

I've done many trips to the tip during 2014. If it's broken, worn out or pointless then you may as well get it out from your living space.

All of those "but..just in case" things aren't worth the hassle. Those days never seem to come around.

It's easy to be a hoarder.

When your house is not cluttered with junk, relics, or stuff you've inherited - then life becomes easier. House easier to clean and keep tidy etc.

It's not for everyone - but this approach has made a difference in our lives.

The other day I was watching an excellent tribute to the late comic actor Rik Mayall - who died in June.

It featured his address to students of Exteter University.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jjFEFyI8FU

I found it very poignant and powerful - he said it's important to live a FREE life.

I like to be FREE - and that means living in the moment and being FREE of the past.

Something else that has stayed with during 2014 was a quote from a newspaper interview with the singer Tori Amos.

She stated that her best advice on life came from a supermarket cashier. Her philosophy on life was, "grab onto life with both hands and be present for every second."

This really struck a chord with me upon reading. And since I read those words, that's when I really began to tackle clutter and items and objects that I no longer needed in my life.

Old technology - quite hard for males to dispose of.
Books - they take up a lot of space. I recycled mine and bought the Kindle versions.
Physical media - all of our stuff is ripped and stored safely on multiple hard drives.
Unwanted gifts - these just have to go. There is no point keeping them.

Be mindful of what comes through the door and into your space every day.

There you go. Advice on becoming more minimal with thoughts from Rik Mayall and Tori Amos.

if you haven't used something in 6 months chances are you wont use it at all, get rid of it.

The Marie Kondo threads are great. I'm in the process right now and I've removed bootfuls of stuff from the house. Just ask yourself, does this spark joy, does this bring joy.

I started by getting rid of big obstructions in the house eg a dining table we had in our flat which we left 11 years ago. We didn't need another dining table, it couldn't be repurposed but it was just hanging around. Dh was reluctant to donate it/get rid as he was a bit obsessed with selling it/getting money for it. So it just got shunted around.

Now in comes the sunk cost argument. After reading MK I said to DH that we'd had the benefit of the table when we used it, we lost our money the minute we bought it, it no longer brings joy, it's got to go. And So it did, to the charity furniture shop. Along with other stuff.

I made £115 pounds by selling other stuff on FB selling sites. My rules are if it's easily sellable and easy to collect I sell it , otherwise I donate or recycle.

I still have tonnes to do. My wardrobe is now half empty and I have empty space in drawers. It's lovely.

Just ask yourself, does it bring you joy? I ask myself the same question when I contemplate buying things. I have bought only one thing since I started this process and it does bring me joy!

Good luck, it's quite liberating.

I think people do it with minimalism too! Frequently on decluttering threads, when I used to read them, people would say they have started decluttering by going to IKEA/Dunelm/Wilkos/etc and buying loads of storage. Which makes no sense if you think about it. But it's once again acquiring the trappings of the identity you want. So, to be organised I must buy organisational products. I used to do this, particularly actually. I used to say jokingly (but meaning it really tbh!) that I was going to buy these (boxes/drawers/files) and put all my problems in them. The lure is in the name: storage solutions.

But actually it's all backwards. The stuff is the problem, not the space.

A friend of mine surprised me once by saying she pretty much never "ate up" leftovers and just threw them away. I was a bit horrified and she said, shrugging, I rank myself higher than the bin. And it's true. If you're not hungry and you don't want it, why would you put that food in your mouth instead of the bin? Don't use your body as a bin. It's a similar thing with stuff. If you're not using it and just storing it, you've turned your house into a rubbish tip. Don't use your home as a bin!

We lived for years in a tiny weeny eeny house (four 10ft rooms) , and then we also had to store a whole load of non-negotiable possessions like an 500lb powered wheelchair, multiple hoists, medical equipment like you wouldn't believe, and also we have 10+ people in and out of the house every day and all their stuff they need and that meant there was simply NO room for hoarding of anything or even really owning of anything that wasn't directly practically necessary. It was a tremendous discipline at first but in the end it was immensely liberating. I am liberated from the maintenance and upkeep of inanimate objects that do not and cannot love me.

We have a bigger place now, but most of our cupboards are empty and we have only one or two pieces of furniture in each room. I enjoy the space and the order, and I also enjoy the few, beautiful, objects I do own. And I know people love coming here, because it's calm and easy, because they come round and tell me so, often! And that brings me joy, being told that. I like hearing that.

It's interesting. I have, at their request, helped quite a few of my friends blitz/declutter/clean their houses. Sometimes it can be fraught, as there's a lot of mental "stuff" tied up in having a messy/dirty/chaotic house. People get ashamed and feel like it says something really fundamental about their character if their house is a mess. I don't think this is generally true. I think it mainly just means your house is a mess. I think housekeeping is a practical skill you can learn. I don't think it's a performative art that emerges from and reveals your soul. I had to get good at cleaning as DH gets every infection going and it was really a life or death situation, but otherwise I would not have taken the time. And it did take me time!

I keep saying people. I think I mean women, actually. It's something to do with the whole "swan" ideal of being a proper woman, where you're meant to magically know how to do all this stuff and also never show the labour. Eat anything and never get fat, have a perfect house and don't care about housework...it seems all connected, somehow.

@Tonacata, you're so right about storage solutions, it's the tail wagging the dog. Since I've been in the process I haven't bought any storage solutions as it's the stuff that's the problem not inadequate storage.

Ditto to cleaning - little and often for me and I can keep on top of it. I think when there's lots of stuff, cleaning can seem insurmountable if you have to move that stuff around.

This may be useful for anyone trying to get their DCs on board. My DS got the whole bringing joy thing straight away having previously been reluctant to get rid of stuff. He's 11. I said that if he went through everything in his room and made a joyless pile I'd get rid for him. OMG, 75% of his toys and books disappeared. That was in November and his room no longer needs to be tidied as everything he has has a place to live. DD, 6, is a different matter and DH too but I'm getting there.

What do you do if your craft obsessed (I make tons of things, all different crafts)

In fact what do you do if you have hobbies that requires stuff?

Laurie, I haven't tackled my sewing and yarn stuff yet. I'm going to dk the Joy Thing. When I do I'm going to sort it out into categories - threads, trimmings, pins etc - then edit each one. I know eg that I have a couple if metres of yellow netting that I have had for 14 years and never used. It doesn't bring me joy. That kind of thing is going to the charity shop. Also I've been saving DHs old shirts, jeans and ties for years with a view to doing something with them. I haven't done anything so I'm going to take them to cash for clothes place and get 50p a kilo. Each time I look at it it represents an unfulfilled dream, taunting me. I aim to have all my sewing stuff in one place as currently it's scattered through the house. I have some lovely hand dyed yarn I've had for 12 years but I don't like working with it. I'll either donate it or ebay it.

Also don't buy anymore unless you know for sure you are going to use it.

Do you have somewhere to store it all? I have an empty chest of drawers I'm going to use. We have a spare room that is rarely used for guests so I'm moving my sewing machine and all related stuff in there as it seems a much better use of space. Do you have dedicated area you can put all your stuff?

Also, I think craft stuff is one area where a storage solution would possibly help. Eg a drawer type trolley.

Everything you have should be useful, beautiful or sentimental and everything else can go. And by sentimental I mean a very small number of items in e.g a shoebox.

Also one in one out policy - buy a new top, an older/less worn has to go.

The last person to see my flat did ask if I was a spy or in a witness protection program though as I didn't seem to have enough 'stuff'!.

Lol at 'chest of drawers' and 'trolley'

I've got 2 ikea Expedit units, a 14 by 16 shed with a lot of tools for crafts, and 8 of those giant ikea boxes of stuff. Enough to fill a normal living room. In fact I'm considering doing a whole house move around to have a dedicated craft room as having bits (tidily) in places isn't working for me.

I make jewellery/cheeseboards/huge lampshades/quilts/stuff out of pallets/sew loads of things.

Getting rid of old clothes that I've got saved for 'craft' could be helpful Deux - I keep meaning to make something denim (was going to cover a sofa) with the 15 pairs of old jeans I have.

Maybe I could use this thread to make myself make it so it's done !

I'm not a minimalist - I prefer an 'elegant sufficiency', but I don't like to have too much stuff, and I have been interested in decluttering and organising since I was a child. I have read lots of books on the subject (the latest being the Marie Kondo one) because I learn something different from each one.

But my basic premise is - stuff you don't use and never look at is pointless, when you die you can't take it with you and you leave a pile of crap and a hideous task for your loved ones to deal with, and finally, you can't have more stuff than will fit in your house and have a pleasant life. This probably wouldn't work for everyone, but I don't have clutter!

Laurie - can you invest in a cabin type building in your garden? You need to cull some stuff. Will you really use it all? Do you sell it?That's a whole heap of stuff. Don't acquire any more! Does it bring you joy? .

.

My airing cupboard is full of fabric along with 3 jumbo tubs. Oh and half the hall cupboard. It just stresses me out.

Loved Marie Kondo book. My place is tiny & full of crap. I seem to be always tidying / de-cluttering...
I have the same fire fantasies. Or wishing I lived on a Greek Island, wafting about in a white kaftan.
Sometimes I'd love to bin my entire wardrobe. Also love Jennifer L Scott, am reading Madame Chic At Home.
He's just as bad as me & gets totally pissed off if I moan about the house. But, I know there's a pair if us in it...

And just to add, my wardrobe is all good stuff. No Primark, or anything. I feel like streamline my look, now I'm almost 40. Same goes for the house. My taste seems to have changed from shabby chic / vintage to much plainer, overnight.

So much joy, I'm about 2 weeks away from getting the money together to list on notonthehighstreet - could squeal with joy at the new opportunity.

The problem with my amazing shed I built last year is that half of its a shed with stuff we really need in it for the garden - and the other half is summer house - pretty and I can do some non messy crafts in it. Even though I've got plug in heaters it is too cold for now to work in - it's ok for 8 months of the year.

I've got an office in the house but it's an office I see clients in for my real job so if I turn it into a craft space I will have to keep it crazy tidy - so I'm not keen.

My other choice is the smallest bedroom and I would have to move all the furniture out of there and I think there's too much.

And I really agree with the full cupboards of craft stuff being stressful, I'm feeling stressed thinking about sorting it out

Laurie - just keep the stuff you actually need for craft.
Boxes and boxes of tools? What an earth needs so many different type of tools. I'm sure if you looked through, half wouldn't be necessary. Also you say 1/2 the shed is full of garden 'summer stuff', what is that? Few garden tools, lawnmower and few garden toys maybe at most. The rest get rid off.

Clothes are big de clutter spot. Less clothes means less washing, less drying, less piles of ironing, less to put away. Start with children's clothes, what lifestyle you have influences clothes a little but otherwise roughly the same. Both ds's have just x2 drawers full of clothes. Organised into smaller categories. Roughly one with all school stuff and outdoor gear, and one for everything else. School shirts are hung on hook behind door.

We also have one in one out policy. Toys have storage, if they don't fit in it there's too much so something has to go.

We have hobbies, but try and streamline. Ski equipment is the worse here, but to minimalise almost all of it is used all year around clothes wise. Our ski jackets are brought to wear all winter also ( ie not bright orange!) so hang on coat peg and worn daily, ski thermals the kids are jogger style so wear as gym clothes all year, and mine are legging style so wear with dresses and boots all year, so we don't double up on items. Winter boots worn all winter. All mean just need to research items a little more before buying but fine. So just actually ski boots, helmets and boots to store in one bag

I knit, but used up what I have before buying any more

So, one thing I notice when discussing this is that people often go right to the one thing/category they really can't bear to part with. I'd say actually, you don't need to part with those things anyway. And perhaps it's useful to know that it's really a lot easier to part with things when it's your habit to do so. You can do those possessions later, or never!

If you really can't bear to part with craft supplies, then go through your kitchen cupboards and declutter those. Or chuck out your horrid knickers or a pile of magazines. There's no need to put yourself through a puritanical purge. Tidying up doesn't have to be a psychodrama. If you have some things that are very precious to you, then make room for them by getting rid of other things.

Make room in your life for what is important to you, personally.

ive been reading this this afternoon with interest. I am terrible for hoarding bargains and the sunk cost link really struck a cord with me. I am forever holding onto things because they cost x or might need one day and don't want to buy again. I also do the thing with food, ive put on loads of weight and most of my clothes don't fit.

today I took the plunge and started the first steps making our front room into a room we love. I sorted the 100's of DVDs we own and have got rid of 2/3rds of them. this leaves the bookcase I hate empty as the remaining DVDs fit in understairs cupboard. I have put the bookcase on a free site and will save for a nice display cabinet for the ornaments which are currently in my mums loft. this will make us much happier than looking at a cluttered bookcase full of DVDs.

I reorganized dd's bedroom and moved their bookcase from the lounge to their room. we sorted the books - there were at least 250 story books I estimate we got rid of around 80.

I have text friends to pass on too small nappies and old school uniform.

I put all the gifts for parties (I have a present box as works out cheaper in long run) in one place so I know where they are and don't end up buying more!

I put all xmas DVDs and books with the tree and decorations so they will feel more special coming out once a year.

I sold a load of Lego I didn't end up giving dd for xmas - £100 and still some more to sell

and most importantly I am not shopping and am avoiding sales/bargain sites.

2015 is the year I minimise our home and change my spending habits.