Can someone help me with a plan.

[Karbea]

I'm currently working 6 days a week, either 6 (or 8) till 5, and then doing all the normal things making dinner etc.
Sundays (my day off) have become my cleaning day. After a lazy breakfast it takes the whole day ( till about 5) to clean the house (it's quite a large house plus I've. 6 animals to it gets filthy), I'm ironing as required, I've 6 black bags in the lounge.
How can I get my Sundays back?

Spread the load? Anyone /children to delegate jobs to?
Cleaner?

I can't afford a cleaner.
I've a dh who is at home at the mo, but he doesn't really do much. He put a wash load on this week and shrunk a jumper of mine, so small it wouldn't fit a one year old.

Sorry but your husband is a grown man and it is not for him to just opt out of this stuff. If he doesn't know how the washing machine works, just show him (or encourage him to look on YouTube for 'how to' videos).

If I were you I'd draw up a list of everything which needs to be done each week and discuss with him.

So your dh is at home not doing much whilst you are running around working 6 days a week and then more when you get home.
He needs to get off his backside and stay pulling his weight.
There's no reason why he can't do all the housework whilst he's at home.
Agree that you should sit down together and discuss what needs to be done over the course of the week and for him to take this on. Your one day off should be spent doing nice things not cleaning. Ffs. on your behalf.

We have a rota for weekday stuff like doing the recycling/laundry and despite having a shedload of debt we are getting a cleaner next week. We have decided that for our mental wellbeing we need to not be indoors cleaning/tidying every weekend.

DH knows that the fact I'm the one with breasts doesn't mean I am his skivvy.

He knows to stay away from my washing machine though, just like I stay away from his hoover & iron!

Can you limit the animals to some rooms of the house? Not iron everything?
We have a big house and our cleaner does it from top to bottom in 4 hours, every fortnight so it can be done in less time I'd have thought. What if you set yourself till lunchtime to get as much done as possible and then just stopped?

And of course your DH should be doing it with you, or doing it all if he's at home during the week.

I couldn't just stop, I get really grouchy if it's not nice and clean at the end, before dh wasn't working it looked clean and tidy all the time, clean house makes me happy ( I know I've probably issues!).
We really can't afford a cleaner. It would make more financial sense for me to do less hours.
Does anyone know where there is a downloadable schedule?
The dogs can open doors, I've suggested getting a stair gate but dh thinks it's unfair to limit the dogs to downstairs. The cats are mainly in the kitchen/family room.
Dh won't iron, he is working his way through his wardrobe (he has a lot of clothes), hoping he'll get a job before he runs out and we can reinstate our ironing man :/

Write a list of daily chores for your dh. He needs to pull his weight.

I would do a load of washing every evening when you get home then dry it before bed. DH can then put it away in the mornings

DH should be making dinner in my book or at least doing shopping and prep. Share dishes

DH should be running Hoover around every day as I assume if animals are anything like small children it will need doing everyday at least in the main rooms

If you have kids then I would wipe the bathroom down while they are in the bath

Give DH a job each day on top of normal day to day stuff
Ie take stuff to charity shop, Dust shelves, etc just one thing a day otherwise he will get overwhelmed

A plan or a downloadable schedule isn't going to help you.

There are only a certain amount of 'free' hours in your week to clean, cook, wash, etc.

You're at your limit and unless your lazy DH starts helping out it doesn't sound like you can do much more than you already are.

Thanks guys. Yes I think a load a day is the way fwd, he has done a bit of washing this week, but it's been things like a pair of jeans, two pants and a pair of socks, hardly a proper load and hasn't really meant I need to do less washing.
Hoovering needs to be done daily, as does washing the floors, currently being done, by me, weekly :/
Dhs idea of cooking is cooking to waitrose/m&s and getting something premade and putting it in the oven, I work in tescos and we really can't afford to eat like this every night (if at all).
I just spend my time screaming at him, feel like his mum, it's exhausting :/

Karbea it sounds exhausting. It sounds like you need a thread in relationships rather than housekeeping, it sounds like you have vastly different ideas on standards of housekeeping, budgetting and division of responsibilities, and a downloadable generic chore planned is not going to fix that! It'd just be you taking all the responsibility for household management again. What on earth is your husband doing at home all day - you say he's not working - is he taking care of children? If it's just the two of you living together then it really should be 50/50 at least. Is he at least taking part in the once-weekly clean up on Sundays? It's not 'helping out' when it's cleaning your own home.

Aside from that, I have a list of daily, twice weekly, weekly, fortnightly and monthly things that need doing and try to spread them out - so I don't have a big cleaning session once a week, but say I have 5 things that need doing once a week, one gets done on a Monday, one gets done on a Tuesday etc to spread them out so it's only 10-20 mins a day before or after work rather than hours once a week. I don't always stick to it, but when I don't and things get out of hand, I'm reminded but how much easier it is when I do stick to it.

Oh, and don't iron, it's not necessary for most modern clothes (just a few exceptions, just folding/hanging them correctly is fine) and do a massive wardrobe sort out - 6 black bags of clothes?? Just throw 5 away. (Only half joking, seriously, that is A LOT of clothes).

Are you able to talk to your husband about why he isn't helping? Does he not see that things need to be done? Or does he not care? Or is he possibly depressed (if unemployed)? I think this is the root of the problem.

Ironing - Go through all of those black bags and hang everything up (un-ironed). Declutter your wardrobes, rehome anything you don't wear. If it's good quality stuff maybe even Ebay it if your DP will do this.

Cooking - does he know HOW to cook? Maybe start with some simpler stuff like jars of sauces and pasta.

Mine is like this. I ring his mum when he gets really bad and she yells at him for me. He gets better for a bit then. I feel your pain.

Haven't read the all replies so apologies if I am repeating.

Have you got a slow cooker? If not get one. Stick dinner on when you are leaving in the morning and it will be ready upon your return.

Why have you got so much ironing? There really is no need to iron so much If you dry outside or tumble dry, fold when they are done. Don't throw them in a pile. The only things I ever iron are good shirts. Everything else is folded and put away (and as far as I am aware we are not crumpled messes!).

I have trotted this one out so often I am starting to bore myself. Walk into a room and Set the timer on your phone for 5 minutes. Do the very most in that 5 minutes that you can. You will be surprised at how much you can do when you don't walk around from room to room (like me).

Failing all that go on strike. If your husband is starved and left in dirty clothes long enough he will discover how to do housework fairly fast.

Cupcakes you ask your husband's mother to shout at him for you? I'm sorry that sounds like terrible advice! He's a grown adult, infantilising him further is hardly going to help!

It works .

Open to suggestions if you have a better idea!

It's impossible to keep on top of a house properly if you expect to do it all in a day.

Daily I:
*Empty and load dishwasher and do the washing up. I fill it up of a night and empty it in the morning. Maximize the space as much as you can- only put mugs, plates, bowls and small pans/mixing bowls in there and there will be plenty of room for the average families dishes to fit in. Sure it's a pain in the arse spending time washing up- but I prefer spending 5-10 minutes doing that (sometimes I leave the pans to soak in soapy water during the day/for a couple of hours) then emptying the dishwasher 2-3 times a day. Plus it's more expensive when you think of the extra water and electricity you are using

*Wipe over kitchen counters- I maybe should do it after every meal but I only usually do it once a day in an evening after dinner. Sometimes in the morning too if I have time.
*Spray the sink- I literally just spray some bleach in, turn the tap on and rub the cloth round. 20 second job.

*Sweep and hoover the most used areas- so kitchen, lounge, hallway and do the stairs if they are in need which usually they are. Takes me 10 minutes top because it's keeping on top of them.

*Make the beds- a room can look a lot tidier even with just the beds made!

*Pick up laundry- you and your husband are capable of doing this yourselves and if your children are old enough- so are they! Even better- put it straight in a hamper!

*Spray the sink and bath with cleaner and whizz the brush over the loo- literally spray the sink and bath, tap on for a few seconds and done. Whizz the brush around the loo bowl after morning pee (I do have things in the cistern that flushes bleach through each time)

I spend max (on a daily basis) 45-60 minutes cleaning. Rather then tackling a big mess once a week- you've got to accept it as part of life and do these things daily.

Get your husband (and children if they are old enough- I was hoovering and dusting at under 10 with my mom!) to help- have set tasks. i.e. maybe your husband does some hoovering while your a prepping dinner or doing the dishes.

Laundry wise I also have a routine

Monday I do mine and my husbands clothes, Tuesdays is kids, Wednesdays is towels, Thursdays is kids, Friday is bedding. Saturday is catch up day/anything that is needed for the next week or urgently. I also do some ironing (max 30 mins) a night.

Once a week I hoover everywhere- kitchen, lounge, hallway, dining room, stairs, bathrooms and bedrooms. Change the beds and deep clean the bathrooms- it doesn't take me more than 1.5 hours and that's with a pretty big 4 bedroomed house!