Veggie DD at uni- separate kitchen stuff?

[tumblechild]

My eldest DD is leaving for her second term at uni and is going to be sharing a house and kitchen with 7 non-vegetarians. She's a good and frequent cook and has a large amount of good quality equipment (pans, utensils etc) and is unsure whether to share. I've suggested that she should ask that communal equipment be bought since she's had bad experiences with 'friends' who've borrowed and not washed up (especially bad when involving meat and a wooden chopping board) but she's worried about sounding selfish. Is it unreasonable for her to just keep her stuff for herself?

No ;0

No, not unreasonable. This is what I did and my flat mates were fine about it.

I'm not sure if I'd tell them to buy communal stuff, but if I were her I wouldn't share the equipment. Just keep what she's got for herself, and let everyone else figure out what they want to do, be it buy communal kitchen gear or each have their own. That way she's not telling them what to do (might rub people up the wrong way) and if anyone asks why she's not sharing hers, she can just explain she's a vegetarian and she's not comfortable with stuff being used by meat eaters - which is perfectly reasonable.

I didn't share most of my kitchen stuff (other than simple stuff like mugs and pint glasses) with my housemates as an undergrad. None of them could cook to save their lives and I didn't trust them with my nice pans. They thought I was ridiculous, but tough, I love my pans!

Sounds very sensible. I would get her some crates to put her stuff in her room that lock and yy, say no to lending them out as not comfortable with them being used for meat.

I wouldn't even mention communal. Just bring stuff into kitchen, use, wash, dry and take back to room.

They can fend for themselves.

Well if it bothers her very much it's probably for the best. I have to say that if my flatmates at university had done this I would have considered it a little odd. I think it potentially isolates her from them and could cause unnecessary tensions. Surely if this is second year then the people she is living with are people she has chosen to be with and who know her quite well.
Would she consider saving her nice stuff for when she's no longer sharing like this and get some cheap stuff for now?

I don't think I'd even bother mentioning buying communal things. It might be better for her to wait and see what the people are like when she gets there. Most people bring their own kitchen equipment anyway so sharing isn't an issue.

Separate frying pan and chopping board. Pans not such a big deal.
Even in a house full of meat eaters they should keep raw meat board separate.

You can get colour coded chopping boards fairly cheap perhaps she could buy some 'for the house'
And most flats come with utensils.

I wouldn't take lots good-quality kitchen equipment to a shared house with that many people. Unless she is absolutely meticulous about hiding it away in her room as soon as she has finished with it, it will without doubt get used and probably ruined by other people - I don't think there are many 18/19-year-olds who would treat it with care. Save it for when she sets up home by herself or with one or two responsible people

Maybe she could just take one or two things she is likely to use a lot and can easily store in her room, like a decent knife or two, and maybe a get an inexpensive frying pan and chopping board to be used just for vegetarian things, but otherwise I would either buy basic Ikea pans and chopping boards etc myself, or suggest that the housemates pool resources to get them.

If she wants to keep her equipment to herself she will need to wash up immediately and take it to her room -that is aabsolutely not U. She can't tell anyone else to buy communally, nor can she leave it in communal kitchen cupboards and expect 7 sharerers not to use it (might be different with only 1 or 2 others). If she keeps her stuff in her room whennot aactively cooking and doesn't try to tell others what to do (her stuff just isn't communally available) she is 100% fine.

Hmm. Decent quality non-stick pans being ruined by people with metal utensils etc. would really irritate me now, but when I was a student I didn't have the luxury of that! I would have thought someone saying I couldn't use a pan of theirs rather precious, tbh.

I would say best solution is: separate colour-coded chopping boards and frying pans/griddle pan, one large saucepan and explain about it being for veggie reasons. But in all honesty people will probably still borrow them if they're kept in the kitchen, so up to her to keep them in her room, probably, which is a pain but otherwise her stress levels on policing it will go up considerably. . .

I think the assumption that everyone will be busily buying chicken, beef etc - and frying/chopping away is rather a large one. Some people will be largely veggie for reasons of economy. Others will buy ready meals and tinned stuff rather than cooking from scratch. I can see that if you are a strict vegetarian, the idea of inadvertently eating from a pan, that's someone has cooked mince in is distressing. But it really doesn't take that long to wash a frying pan or chopping board properlyusing boiling water and detergent. Whereas constantly bringing out your own utensils, washing them immediately after use, and putting them away is a real faff.

This is also a time when making new friendships - and getting on with the people you live with - is really important. Giving out the message that one of the most important things in your life is keeping yourself separate and not sharing, may make settling in rather difficult.

veggie or not, if it is quality stuff she shouldn't take it. Someone WILL use it and will use a metal utensil in a non-stick pan, or not bother to buy any oil.

I've stayed in a lot of backpacker hostels...

It was storage of meat products in the fridge that caused problems between some of my veggie and non-veggie flatmates way back when. As it is her 2nd year, are these flatmates her friends that she has chosen to live with? Can she discuss the whole veggie issue with them?

I know DD's flatmates all bought communal stuff and share, they discussed it before they moved in and each bought some items to keep the costs down. So I guess it depends on what the arrangements are. My DSS is a veggie so I have separate chopping boards and two sets of wooden spoons, but it wouldn't occur to me that using a washed pan would be a problem.

My flatmates and I always had separate stuff at uni, we would offer to cook for each other but communal eating times wouldn't often work. The thing about keeping things separate is that there isn't often enough space for many people (especially 8!) to keep much in the kitchen, so I second just taking a few cheaper things

I'm afraid that veggies can't have meat removed from the entire vicinity (and there is no suggestion that OP's daughter wants that). People who want exclusive fridges need to buy their own.