Fledglings polish their pumpkins and do their best, it's time for a Fling Boogie Octoberfest!

[Stewedcoot]

Heartfelt thanks to Engels (and Bitchy!) for leading the thread throughout September (Sept always being a busy one) despite feeling a bit poorly and despite being pregnant. Hope beneficial effects of injections kick in soon!

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons . Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

Thank you

Crikey goth - glad you're OK.

SC hope you have a good trip. Sorry you're having a hard time with DD. Sounds rather like my DS1. Have I recommended this book before. Helps a lot with the boys when I remember!

Getting on with work quite well, and still able to go out with my parents and the boys this afternoon - went to lovely country park and got DS1 a new winter coat of which he is v proud. Been watching Uni Challenge & Only Connect, but it's hard cos my DM doesn't get why it's not on to make personal and more than slightly racist/homophobic comments about the contestants... sigh.

Big waves, , etc to all as required.

rather a hectic day.

money counting for Church
dh took ds2 off to London City Airport for more plane fancying
dd and ds1 met me at at Friend's for lunch

dd was horrid yesterday (screaming at me about shoes and why I wouldn't buy her yet another pair (she now has an allowance which I told her she could use for this purpose, since I had already bought her two pairs of fashionable school shoes (Kickers and Vans no less, not to speak of the Nike ££££) and all during Downton -maybe Downton fills her with envy )

today however she was in a rather good mood, put a wash on and helped me do grocery shopping, carry several bags and apart from kicking ds2 when he tried to steal all the macaroons was generally quite a lamb. A very bouncy lamb

SC I am amazed you could get dd to do any of those things. I can never get dd to do what I ask her, only what I don't ask her I think I've reached the sad stage where my expectations of very very low.. It is definitely a stage that children go through where they long to go on adventures and feel very jealous of those that do when they are not..I think children struggle to know what is the norm as far as being spoiled and not being spoiled - I suppose they only have their friends to go on, or worse still, shops full of merchandise they cannot afford (this is dd unfortunately)
The only thing that works in this house for chore motivation is the economically named "chore of the day" which the children find less threatening because it is the one chore they know they have to do. It also sounds moderately exciting (even if it is familiar and dull) because they are never quite sure what soupe de jour will be! (dustbins? recycling? go to shops? pillowcases? polish the mantelpiece?) It is not a very efficient system as you can imagine, but for ds2 at least it prevents meltdown.

Ds1 went to Maze Runner with an old acquaintance/friend. He is so hopeless at arranging things. The friend rang up to ask him to a film,cue ds1 saying he had already seen it and ending the call. Five mins later he tells me this, lamenting fact he had seen film already. I ring callback to find no of friend (whose mobile he does not have) hissing in ds1's ear that his duty now is to make a new arrangement with the friend, ANYTHING. It worked out in the end. They saw the film, ds1 saw it for second time and didn't mind..

Evening all,

Busy day here,
DS horse-riding
Lunch and a bit of pottering
Sainsburys to buy pumpkins etc
Shortish but hilly country walk in the name of fresh air and exercise
DD had a friend round
Gathered two big sacks of leaves to make leaf mould for the allotment
One load of washing done and line dried
Cats fed, watered etc and bowls, mats, litter trays cleaned
Same for neighbour's cat while they are on holiday
Met other neighbour's new puppy - adorable!
Maintenance wash
Hoovering
sorted out several containers of assorted crap belonging to the DCs.

Dinner
took DS to his swimming lesson.
Evening routine

Just managed an hour of OU work (slacked badly last week, not feeling very inspired by this module so far). Shower and wash hair next then bed.

Goth - hope you are feeling ok, that must have been a shock.

SC - have a good trip

I have just informed the DCs that their chores are being increased, surprisingly they have been quite receptive and made a start. DS is responsible for hoovering the stairs (handheld Dyson) and emptying waste paper baskets and DD for sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor, emptying the recycling. I suspect it won't last though. And although this may give the impression we are leading-edge on DCs and chores, I have singularly failed with getting them to look after their bedrooms, tidy without being nagged to an inch of their lives and ditto put clean clothes away.

My mum always gave us the luxury of having our rooms a mess with the consequence we would be unable to have friends over. BUT communal spaces were non negotiable wrt tidiness and helping to keep tidy. Respect for others even if we didn't respect ourselves/environment. Some of us had more friends over then others, but they picked their battles. iyswim? Impressed that your dc have got this respect of communal areas whoknows ds is still having to learn this lesson, it is an on going battle.

sometimes i think we need this sign...

WhoKnows I had a sure-fire way of making certain that dd kept her room relatively clean. I simply reminded her that spiders LIKED clutter. That's really all it took.

Wow. 9am and ds2's room is now painted. I've been a busy bee this morning. Now I am relaxing with a (well-earned) coffee and some toast. Then I need to look into getting more wallpaper (I didn't buy any yesterday, just looked) for my bedroom. Or maybe I'll start pulling down the wallpaper in the dining room. I'm a bit scared to start that job!

The living room stays pretty clutter free. We have a big red plastic bucket behind the chair and any toys that they're playing with either go in there or up in their rooms. My room and the dining room always seem to be a wreck, as that's where all the stuff I'm working on sits. For instance, right now, in the dining room is a pile of things to go to the charity shop (once dcs are back in school), my box of shredding that I'm slowly working through (but I developed a small blister where the shredding scissors sit, so am giving it until tomorrow then starting up again), various cookbooks which I will put away once I find the recipe I'm looking for, and my laptop, camera, and phone. All my junk, really.

oops.. I painted ds2's room yesterday. I painted ds1's room this morning. (all those paint fumes, eh?)

Ooh, Alice - that would work, DD hates spiders. Will have to think of something similar for DS! It's not just their bedrooms, they don't tidy communal areas unless nagged either, they definitely prefer cleaning to tidying (like me).

Okay, then look at WHY it's so messy. Do they have enough storage? Laundry hamper? Do things need to be rearranged so that it's easier to keep tidy? I mean, yes, it could be down to simple laziness, I suppose, but I've found that if my dcs have a specific direction for things that are usually messy, it does improve. They don't have a hamper in their rooms, as it always got tipped over (and I couldn't keep ds1 from trying to wear things from the hamper ), so there's an area on the landing (in a corner) where we all toss our dirty clothing in the evening or morning and I take it downstairs to the laundry hamper every day right away. Score. No more dirty laundry in the bedrooms. Makes doing laundry very easy and keeps rooms more tidy.

When all else fails, announce that you're going to be rearranging the furniture so it needs to be tidy in order to do so. At least then it'll be cleaned approximately every 6 months or so.

Morning all, it's a lovely autumn day here - clear blue skies and a chill in the air, yellow leaves everywhere to kick into the air. Bliss! We're having a family trip out to a castle today.

Have a nice trip SC

Alice, I continue to be in awe of your DIY skills. I got utterly fed up of waiting for DH to replace the toilet seat in our bathroom the other day. So I did it, it took me ages and I was in fear of the contents of the toolbox!

Ta da
Cats fed and chucked outside
Dishwasher
Rubbish out

To Do
Get myself and DS dressed
Pack a picnic lunch and day bag
Pay in cheques
Complete nursery paperwork
Take pile of old clothes to clothes bank
Recycle glass
Have fun at the castle!!

Enjoy your days out coffee and sc

We are going to meet up with the friends I lived with at university and their families this afternoon - I'm really looking forward to catching up.

Ds stayed at sil last night. Dd and I had to drive dp to collect a van for work this morning so we were up early.

Ta da
Pile of ironing
Ironing put away
Washload done and hung out

They have got enough storage for toys, but it's easier to walk away and just leave things on the floor. The storage is mostly plastic lidded boxes on shelves, so the boxes have to be taken down to play with stuff but they they tend to get left on the floor with the contents part strewn and muddled with the contents of other boxes rather than put back in and back on the shelves. Dirty clothes aren't too big a problem, it's putting clean ones away that doesn't always happen, they don't currently have enough clothes storage (tiny wardrobes) but due to room size/shape constraints (small Victorian terrace) we can't just go out and buy any old wardrobe. It all needs to be configured in the big plan for them to move to separate rooms which is going to involve a great deal of thought. Also we have slopey floors, wonky chimney breasts and wardrobes can't go against outside walls or they get damp. I love my house but the tiny rooms make it a total PITA, you can never buy or rearrange furniture without rearranging half the house as a knock on effect.

It all sounds like excuses, and I know plenty of people probably manage better than us with less space, I really do think it's done to inconsistent application of rules from us. It helps to write it all down and think it through though.

Do they have any underbed space that could possibly take a drawer or two for more clothing storage? My dcs have one box under their bed for sheets/pillowcases and one box for toys. We could fit another box if needed for clothing, and instead of wardrobes, they each have a standup clothing rail that can be moved around the room if needed, as it takes up less room.

Alice - that comment about spiders liking clutter might make me tidy my own room too !

Bitchy - I love that sign!

ta da

DS2 fed kittens and cleared up some cat sick .
Cuddled kittens
Dressed
Breakfast
Put away Ocado delivery
Emptied kitchen bin
Cleaned kitchen bin and replaced bag
Put recycling out
Deadheaded and watered the geraniums outside kitchen door
Swept and mopped the kitchen and dining-room floors
Washed up and put away
Put washing on
Helped DS2 make some Halloween paper chains
Phone call from CAMHS - therapist appointment cancelled (she's ill)

Hoping to do some more decluttering today. Have given up on the kitchen drawer though.

The underbed space has three shallow baskets of dressing up clothes (which do get used quite a bit, DD is in a theatre group and we have to do quite a bit of costume providing, also she dresses up with her friend a lot). It's bunkbeds, so only one bed's worth of floor space and the end part is blocked by the ladder. The spare bed is a single-to-double pull out guest bed so no storage space under that either. I do rotate summer and winter clothes in and out to my underbed storage. Their rooms are only about 12ft by 8ft, it is a problem. I know really that drastic decluttering (or moving house) is the only answer, which is where Marie Kondo appeals, but it's hard. I am also completely stumped by how we are going to manage when they do want to separate out as DD has far more stuff than DS, at the moment her stuff is spread over both rooms but it won't all fit into either room. It's her that's got all the big stuff (doll's house, dressing up clothes, musical instruments). I think another problem is that there is some storage space in other parts of the house, but none of it's where you need it IYSWIM, there is room in our bedroom for more stuff, but we don't want it full of toys and games. I thought DCs were meant to grow out of toys and games by about this age (8 and 10) but no sign of it yet.

Sorry, very all-about-me this morning, it is helping me think things through, please feel free to ignore. And thank you for your thoughts Alice, I do appreciate it. I am going to think about the hanging rails idea.

WhoKnows sorry, games (if you mean board games and the like) were used by us well into our teens (and still as adults). I do sympathise with the lack of cupboard/closet space. We have literally no closets except for the airing cupboard, and that's quite small (and already has things in it). So I've had to be a bit flexible about storage as well. I have one alcove in the dining room that is floor to ceiling shelves (with a curtain in front of it), and the sideboard in the dining room as well full of things (although that's mostly nonperishable stock ups for winter at the moment).

We don't have a "under the stairs closet" as the previous owners made it a toilet (and I'm happy with that, even if it does reduce the closet space available!). None of the rooms have a built in closet. I have a wardrobe in my room, but to be honest it irritates me as it takes up a lot of space, and I've seriously considered getting a clothing rail for myself as well.

So lots of under bed storage used here. Plus bookcases (lots of books!!) and a decent sized dvd cabinet that I got secondhand at a furniture recycling centre for about a tenner (lovely dark wood with a glass front - definitely keeping that!!).

When we lived in Devon we had a massive outdoor cupboard (nicknamed the Tardis) attached to house (so nice and dry) as well as a good sized linen cupboard in the hallway. I do miss that sometimes.

Ah, no I didn't mean board games, we've got lots of those and they are well used and I very much want to continue with them. I do try and buy travel sized ones where I can though. See, from the sounds of it we have probably got more storage than you in total but it isn't really great for daily use stuff. We have got a decent shed and a boarded loft, an airing cupboard and an understairs cupboard which are all well utilised but not great for daily tidying. What I would actually like to do is get rid of about 90% of the furniture and start again with everything optimised for the space available, it's all a bit of a mishmash at the moment, however as I said before, with such tight spaces you can't just pop out and buy something or pick it up in a secondhand shop, everything has to be carefully measured and needs a lot of consideration, there is always a knock on effect to moving something. We invested in one of those lift up divan beds for our room this year which has masses of room in it, that is certainly great but again the DCs can't use it themselves.

It is frustrating trying to find space for everything. This spring I implemented a rule that if it didn't fit in the toy bucket, it had to go up to their rooms. So the bucket is always full, and everything else goes upstairs to be put away in their rooms. It was the only way to claim back the living room. It literally takes about 2 minutes to tidy it every evening, thank goodness, so I can sit back and relax and enjoy it after they go to bed.

When ds2 was born, I was hoping that the two of them could eventually share a room and the third small bedroom could be a spare room for homework, video games, office, whatever. But ds1 cannot realistically share a bedroom, so that axed that plan. I'm just grateful that we have a 3 bedroom at this point, even without the storage space.

We started out with separate bedrooms, as we have one DD and one DS, but DS had to move into DD's room when we had guests, we decided to buy bunkbeds about 3 years ago rather than have him on the floor on an airbed and he decided to move in permanently, they have been happily sharing ever since. At 8 and 10 the days are numbered though.

hmmmm... will that make storage easier or more difficult with them in separate bedrooms?

More difficult because DD has a lot more big things than DS, at the moment it is all split between two rooms but when it gets to the his room/her room stage all DD's stuff is not going to fit into one room. And there isn't space elsewhere for a doll's house, a keyboard etc.

Shelving? Mid height bed so there is storage underneath?

We will be converting the bunks to high sleepers with desks/shelves underneath, that was always the plan, luckily we have Victorian high ceilings. Even with that in mind I don't know where we are going to put keyboard, dolls' house etc, it's hard to explain, but at the moment it all fits, and I just can't see how it will all fit into DD's room. No point swapping rooms either, the other is no bigger. But this all needs to be part of the 6 month plan to replaster, recarpet, redecorate etc that I was talking about the other day, so no changes are imminent.