Fledglings polish their pumpkins and do their best, it's time for a Fling Boogie Octoberfest!

[Stewedcoot]

Heartfelt thanks to Engels (and Bitchy!) for leading the thread throughout September (Sept always being a busy one) despite feeling a bit poorly and despite being pregnant. Hope beneficial effects of injections kick in soon!

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

Flylady link here.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework, which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons . Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:
(1)No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine
(2)You are never behind just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
(3) It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better then nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a brew + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Oh and don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey – some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome!

Baby-step no. 12 for Sun 12th Oct is is about eliminating perfectionism and deleting Flylady e-mails which you hopefully did not sign up for in the first place! Another Flylady tip for newcomers: please note, do not try to do too much too fast or you will crash and burn! Take it steady!

As you can see from here today is our first day in Zone 3: the bathroom and one other room here even though Flylady's links don't show that properly (continue to go through zone link on launch bad).

Declutter for 15 mins in Zone 3 (If you do zone work at weekends that is!)

The detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 3 is here.

No missions today because it is the weekend!

The daily focus for Sunday is: renewing your spirit or in layman's terms doing something that makes you feel refreshed and rejuvenated!.

The monthly habit for October is getting rid of paper clutter: www.flylady.net/d/habits-of-the-month/october/ .

For a summary of the above, see the flight plan : www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 which should update itself daily.

Have a lovely Sunday everyone!

***

Right, quick cup of tea and back to bed ... . Big waves to everyone!

Morning all, and croissants for all on the bar...

I've been following the thread but not posting, had a very poorly toddler DS in hospital this week but we're home now and taking things very easily!

Not much flying, basic stuff only. Meh.

Now us fancy sourhern types would categorically state that dinner is the hot evening evening meal that does indeed require and wash and fresh clothes.
Luncheon is taken at midday,
High Tea is taken with your closest circle of friends at a swanky hotel in London, finger sandwiches (crusts cut off, obviously), fancy little cakes and scones.

Sorry to hear your DS has been in hospital, coffee. Hope things are improving now.

(thanks!)

MIL (a Southerner) calls lunch 'dinner'. She always eats it at midday. To me, dinner is the evening meal. Cue: years of confusion over whether I'm inviting her round for a midday or evening meal .

I can't say I've ever used the term "luncheon" or "high tea". Hmmm... high tea strikes me as very British, so that may be why. And yes, my idea of High Tea is what coffee mentioned (and sounds lovely!) I could see my aunt using the term luncheon, but again can't say I've ever used it myself.

In this house, it's breakfast, lunch (if cold, like sandwiches) or dinner (if hot food), and supper (or occasionally tea if I'm talking to a friend that uses that term regularly). Dinner when I was growing up was the hot evening meal, however, my dcs refer to school meals as "hot dinners" and any attempt to use dinner in the evening has been shouted down by small fry while they corrected me on the matter.

But then, I am American, so we're just making our own rules here.

Oh, and thank you for the link to the difference between afternoon tea and high tea SC. That was very informative.

Mmmm thanks Coffee yum!
Hope your DS is on the mend.

A busy non-flying day in Dublin yesterday after stopping to visit brother and newborn niece en route on Friday evening , walk in the park with Mum, lunch, browsing in a shopping centre (luxury! ) and in furniture shops, visiting a friend with new baby, sisters and their partners arriving for dinner (hot evening meal here too!!!)... going to catch up with friend and godson this afternoon before retreating back to my home in the sticks for a couple of weeks!

oops, meant to say Coffee hope your ds is feeling better soon.

(got distracted by dcs fighting over a video game )

SC - you have reminded me of a boyfriend I had many years ago, he was from the Midlands (I've always lived in the South, despite Northern parentage, but have spent a lot of time in the North with all my relatives being there). Anyway, first time I went to the BF's home to meet his parents, his Mum asked me if I'd ever been Up North before? I was totally stumped. What was she talking about? Muttered something to the effect that "this isn't North, it's just outside Birmingham". Was very embarrassing. That relationship didn't last.

DMIL (also a Midlander) also seems to think Southerners live in isolation from the rest of the country - oh, you won't know what the Miner's strike meant (I do actually, my dad is from a mining town), well you all vote Conservative (no, never have, never will), you prefer ketchup to brown sauce because you're Southern (it's probably because we never had brown sauce as my Northern parents didn't like it), I'm surprised YOU prefer Corrie to EE (why wouldn't I, it's better). Love her though.

Anyway, onwards. Got a pile of ironing to do, then want to try and get upstairs straight, it's got a bit untidy in a generalised, bits and pieces all over every surface style

Ha! Whoknows it's all so confusing isn't it? Not good when people make such assumptions based on stereotypes though.

I was further confused/enlightened when my parents moved to the Lakes and we went on lots and lots of expeditions to Scotland. Although I'd visited Scotland all my life, I never quite realised there was so much "North" - hours and hours and hours of driving time - above Carlisle!! So Carlisle can be considered as quite Southern really.

Coffeeandcream/Toffee/Whoknows and everyone else - you see I always think of the 'posh' tea one eats in a London hotel with petit fours and tiny sandwiches as just afternoon "tea" and not high tea which to me denotes more of a complete meal, but comments on this thread prove that the terms "tea", "high tea", "lunch" and "supper" are totally interchangeable and mean different things to different people (esp your mil Toffee which is a new one to me - southerners calling lunch dinner [grin)!! So sorry for the added confusion Alice!! It would be terribly boring if there was too much conformity about things

Coffeeandcream so sorry your toddler has been in hospital recently. That must have been incredibly stressful. Glad things improving

Castle your weekend catching up with family and friends sounds absolutely lovely!

Spending the day mostly bickering with dh trying to organise some things in the basement.

Big feathery waves to one and all!

Hope you little on is recovering Coffee Take it easy and gently.

SC "according to my dh who had never been North of Watford Gap" do you know how many people I encounter oop north who have no idea what the Watford Gap is.
Whoknows being confined to the south was certainly the case for most of my cousins. They wouldn't have considered the north as being anywhere worth being. A few are starting to branch out. But there did used to be the sense that Londoners used to think that they were the centre and majority of the country. Perhaps it is unfair but it has been a traditional thought, thankfully it seems to be changing as the internet is making the world shrink.

Tbh SC Most of what we talked about was gentle and superficial. It was a nice long evening 6pm-10pm which was also very productive. Hopefully a few more evenings like that I will have finished the first of the Christmas Blankets. 1 of hopefully 3. annoyingly i know have the urge to buy some more wool and some really chunky knitting needles as make a throw. My friend's project was really inspiring. compulsive crafter alert

Ta Da
lie in
check internet stuff.
wonder wtf I have done with my mobile this time.
Grab breakfast in bed

I am about to work on some more squares. Not sure if I will create or just block out what I have got. Will see.

Bitchy Agree that north-south divide/prejudice still sadly much in evidence... . As with everything else, borne of ignorance and fear about anything slightly different ... . I could expand the theory to Britain's attitude wrt Europe but think that might be slightly too controversial for what is supposedly a house-keeping thread and don't want to stir/cause offence!

So back to non-controversial stitching ... ....¨sounds fab .... is great to have the time ring-fenced so that no activity other than crafting is possible! The downside (for me) is that I don't seem to be able to do any serious sewing (or knitting or any other activity for that matter) and talk at the same time! I'm hopeless at it (can't even listen to music while painting or working like many people seem able to do). It's ok if I am organised and have a load of mindless tacking ; but if it's something that requires thought then I am lost! REally envy knitters on train, for example, who can look out of the window and enjoy the scenery while their scarf or jumper grows ever longer beneath their hands!! But I value the friendship aspect of it too much to discontinue.

Having a bit of a difficult Sunday. As ever, this house is really holding us all back. Trying to get dh to see it too.

So far today, all maintenance and no proper progress (as usual):

Ta da:
church
bakery
bike ride
loads of washing x 2
uniform wash
school shoe polished
tidy and clean of kitchen (sink shined etc)

Good news: hamster is alive and has come out to eat after four and a half full days asleep!! And not so worried now because have read that they have specially adapted kidneys that allow them to go without water for several days without adverse effects. He is now sitting happily on his mini tree branch chewing a red grape

Ta da

Decluttered stuff from our bedroom and around the house
Took several bags and boxes to the dump
To work to collect 18 boxes of books for delivery tomorrow
Tesco
Home with lunch for DS1, who hadn't even noticed we'd been out

Feeling really chuffed that I finally managed to tackle the pile of stuff in our bedroom. I found two boxes of books for work that DH had completely forgotten about and persuaded him to take them away.

Am going to spend this afternoon sifing through the remaining boxes, which seem to be filled with papers .

SC - psst, the dinner/lunch thing is also an English class thing.

X-post, SC. Sorry you're having a difficult Sunday. It's so frustrating when you want to get on with things and the normal, everyday stuff stops you.

I've been partly spurred into action by visiting my next-door neighbour this week. Her house is so immaculate and beautiful that it made mine look horribly shabby and untidy in comparison. Unfortunately, we don't have the money to spend on home improvements, so all I can do is tackle the mess.

Hi!

Hope nobody minds me popping in. Stewedcoot invited me as I am reeeeally struggling.

I have mental and physical health problems which has manifested in a very messy house!

I've looked at fly lady a little before, admittedly I found it a bit scary, but I like the principles.

I have struggled with the little and often thing as I am very 'all or nothing' - it has made me feel paralysed. I've started to tackle this state of mind though.

We had an impromptu visit this weekend and the first thing I did was, if I remember right, quite flyladyish - I cleaned the bathroom sink :o

I really wanted to go to church today. I've ALMOST built up the nerve to try it with the dcs. I'm going to push myself to go next week, I think. Very nervous that they won't be accepting of ds1, and I have been putting it off for months as I just do not want to have criticism levelled at me or them again (after recent criticisms from family and stbx's family).

Welcome, fuzzpig . You have come to the right place. You're right about cleaning the sink, although it's the kitchen one that Flylady recommends to start with, so that you come down to a clean sink every morning. Are you going to start with the babysteps? Although I don't follow them all, I have found them very useful in keeping a certain amount of chaos at bay.

Alice - surely church should be the last place where they judge you or your DC? I'm sorry your family and stbx's family have been so critical and lacking in understanding. Even after being open about DS1's SNs, I still occasionally get unwelcome comments that show complete ignorance of his condition (eg. recently a family member criticised me for not disciplining him more. Oh yes, of course, if we'd disciplined him better he would never have needed to go to a special school, would he? ).

Toffee My adult dd has decided that I do not discipline the boys enough. She states that I discipline ds1 entirely different to how she was disciplined. Okay, so 20 years ago, she was a young child that rarely got into trouble, had no disabilities or SNs, and apparently I'm disciplining her 8yo disabled brother who has impulse control, behavioural, and cognitive problems differently than I disciplined her. Seriously. I just looked at her like this and said "you clearly have no intention of attempting to understand his disabilities. Let me know when you're ready to act like an adult." Utterly charming, and instigated by her partner, who proclaims to know all about child raising despite the fact that he actually has no children at all. Passive aggressive jumped up twat.

Anyway... I just cleaned up kitchen again. Ds2 "helped" me make brownies and accidentally flipped the bowl with the cocoa and it flew EVERYWHERE! Was actually kind of funny. Ah well, these things happen. Brownies are now cooling. Yum....

Alice - am I right in thinking you've had problems with DD and her partner before? Honestly, how can she not see that your DS1, with SNs, needs different parenting from her?

Well done at seeing the funny side of the cocoa incident. Reminds me of DS1 and his CocaCola bottle experiment, which ended with the bottle cap flying off and Coke exploding all over the dining room. I still find little brown, sticky marks in odd corners of the room sometimes .

Toffee sort of. She's been a bit of a snob since getting with her partner, taking on his attitude. Hence, she's better than everyone. She treats people in serving roles or less "significant" jobs quite rudely, which I do not tolerate at all. It's embarrassing, and I've called her on it a number of times. Not sure how she can't see it. Right now she's very much in a "me me me" stage... dating from oh, about the time she got together with him. At some point, she'll realise she's alienating people, hopefully. Until then, not much I can do.

Ooooh, dcs would have loved the coca cola experiment. I can't complain over the cocoa thing. God knows I've spilled stuff while cooking or baking, I certainly can't get cross at ds2 for doing it.

It was funny to see it flying all over the place though. Big cloud of cocoa ....

Well my good intentions on working on christmas presents was hindered by some building work that needed my attention. That done, I have also managed to finally sort out sewing machine, fix trousers and do the machine seams that I wanted to get done earlier in the week. Now to find my mobile and do the mileage that goes with a sunday afternoon to get ds. On a plus note I do get to drive through some of the most amazing scenery so it does make it much easier. Although sometimes i do long for a nice long stretch of motorway so i can do some thinking. next weekend and watch me complain about it

Yay! Great to see you Fuzzpig! Don't be scared off by Flylady - it is outwardly a bit off-putting - and it can be hard to grasp all at once - but every month it builds in small steps, and repeats and repeats ad infinitum - so you eventually understand the whole thing ifyswim! (ie you don't have to understand the whole thing at once before you start, you can just dive in and start with the baby-steps.) The whole point is about taking it steadily. I am also terrible for being "all or nothing" and have found that it has really helped me keep the basics under control (even if my house is still cluttered and a bit messy!) at least I know the basic washing, cleanliness, cooking is taken care of ifyswim. Have a look at my op to see what's what, and then just dive in where you like! (You don't need to catch up as you are never behind with this system!)

Toffee/Alice sympathies over ignorant people who say ignorant things! People are often far too quick to judge .. .

Wish I could say that church is one of those places where people are accepted for who they are etc ... but in my experience it isn't always the case at all. It should be, but it isn't. For example, I loathe churches where mothers and babies are encouraged to sit in glass sound-proof boxes at the back! Bloody hypocritical imo!! Not trying to put you off Alice, rather the reverse, personally think you should go if you want to and stuff everyone's reaction!!

And yes, the idea is that I tackle the mess in the absence of home improvements too, but motivation to do so (again and again) is nil atm... !! Especially when home improvements would help dramatically in keeping mess at bay! [Moaning Minnie emoticon ]

Enjoy your Sunday evenings everyone!

Sorry - penultimate para meant to be addressed to Toffee and forgot to congratulate you on all of the decluttering you have done today; esp pile of stuff in bedroom

Bitchy Safe travelling x

Also Fuzzpig don't let our constant nattering (today being a good example) put you off either