How to get everything done and still have time for yourself

[Mumtoh]

I'm a single mum to a 13yo DS. Just (3 weeks in) started work again following a few months off after redundancy. My son sees his dad regularly, he's on shifts so one week he'll be there for tea 3 nights and the next week only one, then every other weekend. My new job starts at 7.30 and I work until 4ish (sometimes later). This post was prompted by the fact I got in from work at 5.30, and didn't actually finish clearing up after tea until 8.00. Where did those hours go??!

At the moment it feels like all I do is house jobs, admin, cook and get ready for work. I do have a cleaner so all I have to do is keep on top of tidying up, plus washing and ironing, and do the gardening but that 2.5 'lost' hours has me thinking. All I did was empty the dishwasher and tumble drier, make dinner (chicken kebabs and rice, and omelette and salad), make tomorrow's packed lunches (salad, plus cheese sarnies), eat dinner then clear up after dinner. I've got a whole heap of other stuff I meant to do but didn't get round to (ironing, emails etc). I just don't feel very effective.

And now it's gone 10.30 and I should be asleep!!

What tips and tricks do you all have to create a bit more time, or to get things done?

I find a mix of doing less stuff, outsourcing more stuff, and giving less if a shut helped massively.

Does your DS help at all?

No, he doesn't. I've given him a list of jobs (emptying bins, folding washing, drying up, making lunch) but he makes such a fuss or has to be nagged so much I've fallen into his awful trap of just doing it myself

Cook the same meal for both of you. Get used to eating the same meal 2 nights in a row. Cook double the first night then just reheat and add fresh rice/pasta for day 2.

Can DS cook sometimes, make lunches, sort washing etc?

You did loads in the time. You haven't been inefficient at all, you just had a lot on your to-do list.

I agree, you haven't been inefficient at all.
I don't think it is unreasonable to expect your 13yr old to help more around the house tbh. It's good practice for him. Bribe and or/nag encourage him to do his share.
Things that help me

• I don't iron. I find that if I take it out straight after it has been tumbled and then hang up/fold neatly I can get away with not ironing

-batch cooking and freezing. Works especially well with mince, so lasagnes, bolognese sauce, chillis and also stews. Then I just stick in fridge to defrost, reheat at dinner time and add rice, pasta or stick a part baked roll in the oven.

Thanks for the tips

Had a better night tonight, did tea, cut the grass, loaded dishwasher and washing machine, emptied both and did little else except shower and go to bed early to look at mumsnet

Have decided one (week) night a week will be takeaway, and one day per week we will buy lunch rather than make it. Sitting down with DS at the weekend to go through list of jobs, in exchange for which he can have some pocket money. Also decided that whatever jobs I'm doing, to do them as quickly as possible (I do tend to faff...), to keep a diary with me to note things to do daily, and to just get on with stuff instead of delaying.

Any more tips?

Does anyone use apps to help them get organised?

Sounds like a plan.

I wash clothes once a week. First wash goes on when I walk in the door on Fri, then I do one in the evening, overnight etc until all done. Dried over the weekend, all put away by Sunday night. Followed by 5 days of absolutely no washing. That's the theory anyway!

If it's all getting on top of us all we plan a week of really easy meals - kievs & chips with salad or frozen steamed veg packs, kind of thing, to give us a break.

Canyour DS iron? My mum paid js per item iron say15p a tshirt, 30p a proper shirt etcbutthey had to be done properly, after a few months we could iron quickly and rather well, at which poknt the cash stopped!! Shock horror.but i used to do mymums in exchangefor payment, an idea perhaps.

I do a few things.

I but a pack of bread rolls and leave n the freezer at work. Then I keep a stash of tins of soup in my drawer. That way, I don't have to make sandwiches if I cm too tired. Dh eats his dinner at work but we still have a main meal each evening.

I cook huge saucepans of bolognese and curry, beef stew, cottage pie etc. usually once a week (sat morning). Now not all at once! Once week I might do a stew and freeze into portions and another I will do a curry etc. that way I have several varieties at any one time.

Love gnocchi, ready to wok noodles and microwave basmati rice. Bung a jacket potato in the microwave if I am short on time.

I use colour catchers in the wash so I can as bung a big load in.

I love my actifry and slow cooker.

It's never ending though. I am so tired.

Oh yes, I have throw in out dh work shirts that are a tourtière to iron and I tend to wear tops that are non iron if I can.

Also dh has o do his own ! That was a shock to the system for him

Definitely get ds helping. It doesn't matter if you nag. The better your house looks the more accustomed he'll be to seeing it like that and will realize that's what's expected to keep things going. Plus he'll go to university etc one day and needs to know how to do stuff. ( my dd is 18 she goes in 2 weeks)
Also slow cooker. Possibly online shopping.
I use Tasks and Todo, a free android app. To schedule what I'm doing.
If the lawn is small to medium consider a push mower, Qualcast for about £40 at Argos. It's easy to use and I prefer it for me and dd as there's no cable to worry about, so it is safe and becomes a job you can delegate to ds.