August fledglings fly over here - chatting and Flying will help us persevere!

[ToffeeWhirl]

Here we go again - another month for us to tackle our clutter and get on top of our housework!

If you’re struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun), you need Flylady.

Flylady is a system for managing housework. Starting with babysteps, it builds up into a routine which becomes second nature. In theory, once you are used to the system, you will have a tidy house you are not embarrassed by and plenty of time to get on with more interesting things.

Flylady banishes the panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. If you fall off the Flylady bandwagon, it’s no problem: you just jump back in where you are and carry on.

Don't sign up for the Flylady emails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on this thread on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, Flylady's steps and routines will be listed here on this thread.

Flylady uses a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

(And detailed deep cleaning in each zone for those who have made real progress).

More info here on getting started (but ignore step one!) and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Try to ignore Flylady’s purple prose (hard, I know) - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:

1. No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine.

1. You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.

1. It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy overnight - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new, then trying to spend 15 mins decluttering and doing the babysteps is the most you should expect of yourself. Lots of us here like posting our ‘to do’ or ‘ta da’ lists and they can look quite scary. Don’t be put off.

If all else fails, try the power of three – just pick three things that most need doing and focus on those.

And if you have visitors coming over this afternoon and need a quick fix NOW, try Flylady's crisis clean.

We all know each other pretty well on this thread and some of us have been around for a long time, but all lurkers, oldies and newcomers are very welcome!

Hi all,

I'm new here and feeling rather desperate. My house is such a mess, even the times when I've got it almost under control it takes less than a day and it's like a bomb hit it. I have a 2 year old, am 35 weeks pregnant, work evenings, and feel like the only way for me to get this house under control is stay up for several hours a night cleaning once I'm home from work. Last night I got home to dishes everywhere and uneaten food still left in the slow cooker, along with all the usual rubbish and things out of place. I was so down I didn't even do anything, just whittled the hours away on MN whilst feeling guilty and bad. As pathetic as this sounds, please help me! I'm hoping joining a social thread dedicated to cleaning will help me move myself.

The jam pot is a 9ltr pot, so you'd assume it would be ok. I am considering switching to freezer Jam, but there is a minor issue with freezer space, or lack of.

Another bad night of sleep. Just need to finish getting sorting so that I can get to work on time. I might wake up enough to be functioning later.

Toffee Couldn't just stop cold turkey - patched a couple spots this morning where the plaster had chipped away.

ta da
-usual morning routine
-stripped beds
-bedding in wash
-went through both dcs' dressers and wardrobes and pulled out anything too small. ds1's will go to ds2, and ds2's will go to the school nursery, as they are always looking for extra clothing.

to do
-check bank
-finish winter prep/stock up lists
-organise specific expenditures into the budget (new bed for ds2, new bed for me, new dresser for ds1)
-brutal reorganisation of the kitchen
-decide how much ££ I will need to put aside each month for divorce proceedings (minimum £2k I think to start with, although solicitor quoted £1k)
-decide how much ££ to put aside each month to cover Christmas expenses
-budget certain amount of ££ each month to use towards various DIY projects starting in September
-finish blue and white stripey cushion cover

Dizzy welcome. Pardon me being cheeky and asking, but do you have a partner? Can you delegate some of the tasks?

Welcome DizzyKipper. We are definitely the right place for you although we chat a lot more than we do housework :) I can really empathise with the 'it's all too much, I'll hide on MN then feel really bad afterwards' feeling. Who is in the house whilst you are at work? Doesn't sound fair that you are working and then having to come home and clear up after whoever made the mess.

Bitchy - no idea of size of mine just that it is old and huge. How vigorously are you boiling things? Not sure I get many splatters. I have jelly to make today so will observe more closely (rather than ignore for most of the time as usual!)

Ta da:

• All up, fed and out
• Washing load from last night hung out, another washing load in machine
• Washing up (though DH did most of it)

Going to start work now then finish morning routine later.

Morning. Im taking dd horseriding for the first time today - I think she is going to love it

Ta da
Dc up washed and fed
Washing brought in off the line
Bed made
1 lot of drying up
1 lot of washing up

To do
Finish drying up
Hoover downstairs
Make dc beds
Wipe down kitchen sides
Get ds and myself dressed
(all before 10)

Best get a move on bbl

I have a husband who's in with DD when I'm at work. If he can he'll get bits done - he sometimes even gets home from work and has to get straight on with cooking if I've not been able to - so he's by no means a lazy, selfish arse as some of the DH's seem to be on MN. But I do sometimes feel like he could have done more, and getting home to food still not put into containers and the freezer always really gets to me - it means the food's been left out for over 3 hours. DH also potentially has depression and is himself very down about all the mess and how it never seems to get any better, we're not a very happy household at the minute.

I've managed a few bits of housework but have to get out on the dog walk. I guess a good start would be deciding on the first morning and evening habits I want to form.

DizzyKipper - get him on board and work out between you which habits would be best, especially as you are going to be very busy with a new baby soon. It is worth going through the baby steps though do ignore the bonkers ones as it makes you take things slowly and not burn out and it does make a difference quite quickly - the shiny sink one does seem bonkers but isn't, coming down first thing to a clean kitchen is lovely and a good start to the day.
Disclaimer - I have been on this thread for well over 4 years and still struggle (hence mad cleaning-fest yesterday) but when I do stick to things it makes a huge difference.
Good luck

Ta Da:

• Some work
• Made Mulled Plum and Apple jelly (with v few splatters and only slight pan-to-jar spillage :))

Need to do more work then can start on rest of list

I would definitely chat with DH about who does what dizzy .

The one things that really helps me is to make sure I get the washing up done after dinner. which Ifailed to do yesterday Since we eat in the kitchen I always start the washing up while he is still supervising DS (2) who eats slowly. I make sure I sweep the kitchen floor with a long handled dustpan and brush after dinner.

DH cooks at least 5 nights a week.

On days that I am home I try to do one load of washing and push the hoover round downstairs.

DH is always moaning about cobwebs which I don't give a shit about so I've told him it's HIS job and to stop fucking whinging (he's 6"5 so tends to notice them more).

Go easy on yourself though, you're 35 weeks pg! I would try to just focus on the washing up...and get DH doing it as well (twice as quick when there's 2 of you) and take it from there.

ta da
mw appt

that's about it! DH is at home on his daddy day and I am off out shortly for an early dinner with a friend who lives an hour away by train. A strange luxury to have an uninterrupted hour on a train to read!

Got my organised mum diary yesterday which will be setting up

Going to have a bash at potty training the next 4 days with DS. He's 2.10.

managed to have a very relaxing day yesterday on sofa, doing finances, Christmas shopping and all that. Read the 2nd Rebus book. I love summer holidays while DH is at nursery 2 days a week

Hello all!! Hope you are all OK!

Back at base (I arrived back a few days ahead of dd and dh ) and - many apologies - didn't plan on whinging in my first post for ages but feel a bit teary and down tbh and not too chipper. Very tired and perspiring wierldly (sorry for tmi), stressed/stomach playing up a bit. Just want to lie down frankly!

But have just said goodbye to brother and his family (who were on very good form) and have been tidying up/cleaning the kitchen/stripping and making beds and heaving the hoover about this morning in preparation for next visitors who arrive at 4 pm today. Some of whom remain here until Sun/Mon at which point dsis1 (who is not the easiest of guests in some ways) arrives for a week.

This time of year rather difficult. Lovely cleaners departed to their home countries/on maternity leave so have office and ordinary cleaning to do on top of all the extra work that guests create. All my usual food haunts are closed - drove around and around yesterday when I was catering from my db and his family, looking for a butcher, baker or grocery shop that was open; ended up in tiny metro supermarket when guests of course expecting premium continental fare. Laundries shut. Visitor attractions shut. House not guest friendly - one bathroom with malfunctioning lav - dodgy roof etc. Tis a bit of a nightmare tbh!

I wouldn't mind so much if dh "got it" but he doesn't really. He does what he can but he is not the one heaving the hoover up four flights of stairs and lugging all the heavy linen baskets up and down and doing all the bed-making and recycling/rubbish hauling about. Or entertaining friends' dc/planning/doing all the extra cooking and shopping. (Tis a big/old/hard house to work in which requires lots of youth and energy both of which escape me atm!!). He has added to all the stress by volunteering to collect yet more friends from airport tomorrow and inviting them to lunch. He has then accepted an invitiation to lunch on Sunday without consulting me first (Sunday afternoon being my only gap between vistors set no. 2 and visitor set no. 3 arriving). Maybe I am just making more of it than I should because I am feeling under par.

Desperate to buy a tiny holiday cottage with no spare rooms to which we can retreat next year and just not be "at home"!! How horrible am I ??!!

A very warm welcome to DizzyKipper. Congratulations on your pregnancy! Totally 'get' what you say about feeling overwhelmed and it sounds as if you have a lot on your plate atm. Ditto what others have said and hope the system helps!

Feetheart & Bitchy very impressed by your jam-making exploits!! (I have blackcurrants waiting in the freezer but can't face scrubbing inherited copper pans jams with salt and vinegar atm! Wish I had a stainless steel one!)

Fingers crossed re: job application Bitchy

Feetheart congrats on cleaning/sorting bonanza yesterday!

Mercury hope your dd had a lovely time horse-riding!

Alice good luck with sorting your budgets

Elliepac imagining you and the dc poncing about in Lincoln Green ! Hope you are having a lovely time!

Nicknackssorry you are feeling so rotten! Tooth abscess sounds absolutely horrible! Hope ABS kick in soon and absolutely no need to feel guilty; you can't help being ill! Don't be tempted to go back to work before you are properly recovered!

Hello to Sootball (sorry not sure if you are newcomer or name-changer but big waves anyway!!) I know there are stainless steel cleaner wipes on the market (Lakeland do them I think) and not sure if this applies to fridge surface but I clean the top of my stainless steel hob with "sort of salad dressing" ie wipe off worst with cloth/washing up liq/hot water, rinse with clear industrial vinegar and hot water, leave to dry, apply a dab of olive oil (any cooking oil or baby oil works too) and polish! Keeps all the smears at bay!

Hope you are having a much-deserved relaxing day out Toffee! Wishing you a belated happy anniversary!

Goth was thinking of you while I was watching bits here and there of Commonwealth Games - but see down thread that you were away! Hope return to school prep going OK! (Nine wks holiday here - still 3.5 weeks to go!)

Hellooooooo to Honu and v inspiring to hear that you are winning the paperwork battle!

Engels [psstt - lowers voice - following your example, I have just bought two Christmas presents on-line in summer sales]

Hope your ds is feeling better Coffeeandcream

Waves to Lairy Carpe Shitat Swan Kia and everyone else!

Arrgh -that's my mumsnetting time up for today - will read to beginning of thread another day! Big feathery waves to everyone though and sorry for whinging as usual!! When push comes to shove, I do actually enjoy seeing family and visitors (honest!))

Loving all the talk about fountain pens btw - think I threw away my very favourite (sob) in the bin by mistake - and suspect my Iphone has gone the same way - must be menopausal or some'at!

slackcabbage oh goodness, sounds like you're just worn out and stressed right now.

First of all, although it might seem an inconvenience, if the Sunday lunch invite is for all of you (not just your DH), then IMO that is a good thing. You've been waiting on everyone else this week and will be again next week. Take advantage of the time someone else is cooking and waiting on you for a change. Enjoy the fact that you are not planning, cooking, and cleaning up after, and just revel in the small time where you are not in charge of everything. Sometimes that alone can make a difference.

I won't comment on the iPhone, as I've set mine down about half dozen times this week and then couldn't find it again. Thank god I don't have it on silent.

Personally, whenever I've stayed as a guest at someone's house for more than a day or two, I've always offered to take us all out at my expense for a meal, so the hostess has a bit of a break one evening. Even if your guests aren't offering that, is there any reason why you couldn't make one evening a takeaway night? (unless the cost is just too much at the moment, in which case I entirely understand)

Maybe you can get some of the guests to pitch in and help a bit? I hope they're not all sitting back and expecting you to wait on them (I have a few family members like that ).

Don't worry about venting sc I would struggle with all the entertaining you are doing. I can only tolerate people in my space for a couple of days at a time. You are lovely to have so many people stay with you and I think the idea of a takeaway is fantastic as it would take some of the pressure off.

Dd loved horse riding and I have promised to look into lessons for both her and ds.

Afterwards ddad took the dc and I for lunch and then I popped to get some ww supplies.

I still need to make the dcs beds and plan to hang some more washing out and put some laundry away before making dinner and going to work.

Welcome Dizzy. Creating a morning and evening routine for you and dh will make a massive difference. I find just making sure the kitchen is clean and the hoovering has been done makes our house seem a lot more pleasant. Focus on babysteps consistently and you will see a massive difference.

Thanks Mercury and Alice both!

As Mercury says it's as much about head space as the physical work really. I'm not good if I don't have a day or half a day between visitors to recover (dh restores himself around others, I need to go and be alone in a dark room!!). That's why I'm a bit miffed about Sunday lunch.

And one always thinks one will have more control over when people come but it never works out like that! For example, my dsis's work dictated the timing of her visit, the dc who are staying now could only come for these particular four days which coincided with their parents' visits elsewhere and my db was breaking a journey on the way to somewhere else with fixed travel plans!

But will definitely take Alice's advice and go easy on the catering front (if any takeaways are open atm with the world and his wife away!!).

Would feel a bit better if I wasn't still sweating and feeling so tired. Very embarrassing just now talking and waving off some friends when perspiration is running in rivers down your face. Stomach still feeling ergh ... .

Mercury tis great your dd enjoyed her time on horseback! Look for a BHS approved stable for her and your ds if you can and ask around locally for recommendations. Tips here.

Thank you for your advice sc I have no equestrian experience so all tips are very welcome

Had a lovely drive to Hertfordshire, delivered the books (took all of five minutes), then went for lunch in a restaurant next to a riverside. Lots of fledglings on the tree next to us - made me think of this thread!

Unfortunately, we then ended up having a hellish journey coming back, stuck in traffic in an overheated car with no air conditioning and no water. Finally found a service station and were able to replenish ourselves with liquid - we were so thirsty by then. We were relieved to get home in the end. But it was still a lovely day out, in spite of the end bit.

Nicknacks - how's the toothache today? I hope there's some improvement.

ellie - sounds like you and your DC are having a very happy time .

Feet - I know I should write up and email the notes, but I feel ridiculously self-conscious about doing it because it's so obviously saying "I don't trust you." I know that's a silly reason not to do it though. I'll think about it. Very excited to hear from a Titanic geek . I have found the Bob Ballard stuff, but I'll also have a look at the Belfast museum website. Have you ever seen 'A Night to Remember?' It's been haunting me since I saw it yesterday.

Dizzy - welcome to the thread! You have my sympathies on your current situation: keeping the house clean and tidy with a small child around, especially when pregnant, is challenging, to say the least. I agree with the other fledglings: discuss with your DH who does what. He will need to be doing more when the baby arrives anyway.

Bitchy - curses on lack of sleep

Feet - that museum website is fantastic and even has teacher resources I can use with DS2 - thank you so much!

Evening all! Another fabulous day. Today we have immersed ourself in medieval folklore at the Robin Hood festival in Sherwood Forest. Amazing day with minstrels, jesters and barber surgeons. We had to take a detour on the way home because a local motorway is closed and ended up coming home past RAF Scampton, the home of the Red Arrows. They happened to out practising in the local skies so we pulled up by the roadside and had an amazing display right above our heads, could practically see the pilots. It was fab. I am now absolutely pooped though.

DS has taken over the flying mantle and has asked to do some chores so i have set him off cleaning downstairs. Result.

Off to catch up with you lovely ladies now.

Meant to ask toffee how is the melatonin working for ds1?

for SC I am particularly antisocial. I would offer you a place to come hide out but whilst people have gone away I have been left a building site. It is annoying me and there is fuck all i can do about it.

Decided to say fuck the flying when i finally got in from work. No car is a right pita as public transport is sporadic. Disappeared into a book. only just about resurfaced. Forgot this thing called tea

Ellie - that sounds like such a fab day .

Bitchy - the melatonin seems to be working well for DS1, thanks. He is always asleep within an hour of taking it and sleeps through till morning. He has never slept well and we've had years and years of him being up till the early hours, so this is a huge difference and I'm sure it's benefiting him, as he seems calmer and happier in the daytime (so long as I don't try and get him out of the house, of course). Does your DS still take it? I wish we'd had this prescription years ago - it would have made such a difference.

Sorry to hear you've been left in a building site .

Here are the links for tomorrow, fledglings:

Babystep Number 8: start your control journal.

Friday is declutter your bag and car day.

Friday's mission is to sweep and mop your kitchen floor.

Friday's flight plan is here.

Hope you all sleep well tonight.

He does but it has not been working so well, and he has been arguing about whether he needs it or in fact it is working. not sure what the answer is though. And getting appointments to see gp seems to be a massive trail and pain in the ass. apparently you now ring the surgery, then a doctor rings you and may or may not assign you an appointment. it seems like a complete waste of doctor's time.

Well I flew out of the house at 7.45 and in at 9.15pm

I'm eating dinner and going to bed!

welcome back!

Hello DizzyKipper it's very easy to start taking on all the jobs and then feeling overwhelmed. I find I have to throw a strop every few months to get DH help out. He has a "leave it until tomorrow" attitude to housework.

Have to say he is good at other things, we had another busy day on the croft today, he's got 3 raised beds de-stoned, weeded and raked ready for planting, while I cleared the pathways of tree seedlings and planted some wild flowers under the fence line.

I also had to herd some escapee goats back into their pen, they find the smallest gaps!

Also Done
Laundry out
S&S
Litter tray
Dinner
Washing up & SS
Laundry in (but not ironed)
Ordered some seeds for over winter planting
Sorted out school uniform for next week
2nd load washing done ready for tomorrow

I really need to sweep and mop my kitchen floor, tbh. With the dcs going in and out from playing on the trampoline, the dirt just gets tracked in over and over. I kind of do a quick sweep here and there, but what it really REALLY needs is for me to pull out all the appliances one by one, sweep/mop behind them as well. Ick. Not sure I'm up to THAT today. That's more of a "do when the dcs are in school" kind of job. Okay. Maybe just a quick sweep and mop so as to work through some of the top layers of dirt.

Thankyou all for the warm welcome. I've been looking through the Flylady site (though struggling to find a proper moment to really just read it all through properly) and realised that we do already have a few habits in place. Always getting dressed to shoes (I know that disorganised feeling without it!), planning meals a week in advance and writing out what I need to do each morning, getting the bed made and washing if not done the night before then in the mornings. I think for now I'll just really try to cement those habits whilst also adding 5min room rescue to the daily routine (DH has already done that this morning, and I'll have a turn when dressing DD) and hotspots in the evening. DH is on board, though I think we need another talk tonight (it's hard to get time to talk things through when we barely see each other through the day).

And that sounds like my nightmare slackcabbage, I'm not surprised you're stressed!

Ta Da
Up and dressed
Bed made
Washing in machine
DH 5min room rescue

To Do
My 5min room rescue
Dry clothes folded and put away
Wash up last bits
Write out recipe instructions for today

My mum's coming at 10, we tidied last night so thankfully it's not quite such a state.