August fledglings fly over here - chatting and Flying will help us persevere!

[ToffeeWhirl]

Here we go again - another month for us to tackle our clutter and get on top of our housework!

If you’re struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun), you need Flylady.

Flylady is a system for managing housework. Starting with babysteps, it builds up into a routine which becomes second nature. In theory, once you are used to the system, you will have a tidy house you are not embarrassed by and plenty of time to get on with more interesting things.

Flylady banishes the panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. If you fall off the Flylady bandwagon, it’s no problem: you just jump back in where you are and carry on.

Don't sign up for the Flylady emails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on this thread on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, Flylady's steps and routines will be listed here on this thread.

Flylady uses a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

1. start or repeat baby steps

1. repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

1. reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

(And detailed deep cleaning in each zone for those who have made real progress).

More info here on getting started (but ignore step one!) and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Try to ignore Flylady’s purple prose (hard, I know) - the underlying system is sound!

Three key points to keep in mind:

1. No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine.

1. You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.

1. It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy overnight - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new, then trying to spend 15 mins decluttering and doing the babysteps is the most you should expect of yourself. Lots of us here like posting our ‘to do’ or ‘ta da’ lists and they can look quite scary. Don’t be put off.

If all else fails, try the power of three – just pick three things that most need doing and focus on those.

And if you have visitors coming over this afternoon and need a quick fix NOW, try Flylady's crisis clean.

We all know each other pretty well on this thread and some of us have been around for a long time, but all lurkers, oldies and newcomers are very welcome!

Blimey, if you ever want a really good night's sleep, take Phenergan. We had some left over from when DS1 needed sedation to get on a plane. It's amazing stuff. I have slept for nine and a half hours , not including a brief interlude when I had to get up and cuddle DS2 because he'd had a nightmare.

The only problem is that I still feel a bit drugged up and could probably go back to sleep again now, but have to get on with getting the dining room ready for the kitten owner's arrival with kittens this afternoon. Oh, and I have to go into town and get cash and some food.

coffee - yes, hopefully DS1 can be persuaded to accompany me to get more stuff for the kittens. Vet trip will be next!

Trazzle - I'm sorry, it sounds really stressful staying at your mum's and being reminded of her issues. Has she ever had treatment? Hoarding is a form of OCD, as I'm sure you know, so she needs professional help to overcome it. CBT with Exposure Response Therapy (via her GP) would really make a difference but, of course, she needs to want to change and that, I suspect, is the sticking point. She probably doesn't think she needs to change that much.

Alice - in spite of being thread leader, I'm ashamed to admit that I also pick and choose my missions and don't always follow the routines, so you are not alone. I'm sure lots of us are like that. Good work re shredding!

saturn - oh my, what a day you had yesterday. Best of luck with DD's birthday party today.

DH has just reminded me that I need to go to the bank and PO by midday, so had better get my arse into gear. Am soooo woozy. Could easily close my eyes and go back to sleep right now. Maybe fresh air will wake me up.

Hope everyone has a good day. I may be posting kitten photos later. (Did I mention that our kittens are arriving later today? ).

Morning all! God I lurve the holidays!!!

Had lovely half day yesterday in the countryside (yay!) visiting a wood, a stable and a garden centre. For the rest of the day dd, her horrible mother having restricted screen time, learnt to yodel from a magazine article and practiced evacuation procedures with Playmobil figures from Playmobil house and school, as apparently there was a Playmobil hurricane on its way and sure enough it arrived (excuse to totally trash Playmbobil 'mise en scene')

Today I have am continuing to organise, launder, iron everyone's holiday wardrobes for the third time and the sun has come out to help!

Only negative point this morning [cat lovers look away again] is that I was woken at 7.40 am by the sound of our basement doors vibrating (they are old and squeak) and a bit of a racket, and came down to find the marauding cat flinging itself at the doors in order to reach the rabbits' inner sanctum (fortunately doors are firmly secured). So had to chase it back up the steps and up and out of the garden. It is scary that it seems to have so little fear on "our territory" as it were. So now, not only are my furries too scared to stretch and graze and play on our lawn, they now don't have any peace in their own safe haven indoors. Have had to keep the doors locked today . I know the cat is only doing what comes naturally but it doesn't seem to be getting the message and I am very worried about leaving this situation to pet-sitter next week in case something goes horribly wrong.

Toffee be careful if you are driving this morning when feeling drowsy [worry wart emoticon] [Proffers strong coffee]

Despite rant above, I don't hate all cats - honest - and am very happy for you re: your imminent new arrivals!! (Also terrific that ds1 showing an interest and accompanied you to pet shop.) Going to pm you because visited a stable yesterday that happens to practice EAT (Equine Assisted Therapy) which thought might be something possibly that could be helpful for your ds1 (apologies if I have raised this before - can't quite remember!).

Saturn this is going to sound "very first world problem-esque" but now my cleaner is on ml and I am doing what she used to do, I am finding all the bits that she missed ie anything over 4ft high is really mucky and dusty, there is at least 4 months worth of dust in the 'loops' on the inside of all radiators (despite providing special tool), there are fingerprints on edges of all doors, everything that isn't easily accessible is covered in dust and there are spots on the floor that should have been tackled ages ago... etc etc. I guess I am pernickty too because this is a very hard house to clean and I like her because she is very reliable, honest and kind (and that counts for A LOT in my book) plus I am crap at telling people what to do/giving clear instructions!

Alice and Coffeeandcream I don't think there would be many of us left on this thread if the criteria for staying was related to following and completing all the links in perfect sequence . Just tailor the system to suit yourselves!

Trazzles that doesn't sound like a very restful holiday but hope you and the dc manage to have a good time with your ma despite the clutter (and that 15 mins of Flylady magic every day starts to make little inroads).

Blimey Saturn your schedule is a killer! You must be exhausted! Hope the party goes brilliantly well today and that you get the chance for some r & R tomorrow.

Dizzy Congratulations on starting ml! 'Profitez' (as they say over here!) Hope midwife visit goes well today. I couldn't live without a pet of some kind or another now but agree that they are a tie and it is altogether much easier now dd has left toddlerhood far far behind not that she helps to clean out the ruddy hamster.

Bitchy and please send your ds over here immediately so he can stalk our garden too! Glad you got the important washing done!

Blue admittedly craft stuff much easier with an 'only' and now dd is 11 yrs

Waves to Whoknows and everyone else...

Ta da:
morning routine inc dw, wm, s&s
rabbit protection stake-out
fed and watered rabbits, hamster, fish
watched Morning Line out of one eye while dd tried on jodphurs
rang Estate Agent
rang dsis1

To do:
bake dsis2 a cake for transportation to U
buy dsis2 crate of wine (ditto above)
finish washing/ironing/holiday packing
finish immediate sewing
go through final bits of school things
go to sports shop to buy yet another pair of jodhpur boots
tidy up house generally, boudoir in particular
watch Channel 4 racing (if get time)
healthy-ish supper and early bed

Have a great weekend everyone!

Sorry - Just realised that the bit addressed to Saturn - the first one - was meant to be addressed to Coffeeandcream! Apologies! Rushing!

Struggling to get motivated today. Stbx is again playing the "let's be a FW" game and making me doubt his actual sanity. I am just so tired of his nonsense.

It will, however, kick start me later today - it always does. Maybe I should thank him for being a FW.

SC - don't worry, I'm not driving anywhere today. In fact, you would be right to worry if I was as I can't drive! Have never been brave enough to take a test and have an excellent chauffeur in DH (though I know he gets fed up with this role). You sound like you are giving your DD a lot of undivided attention at the moment - lovely for her and, I hope, not too exhausting for you. I look forward to your PM.

Alice - sorry your STBX is being a FW (didn't have to think long to realise what that meant!).

Have spent the morning dashing out to shop for last-minute kitten stuff, then having a crisis clean of the house. We are all a bit ratty, so I think we're apprehensive. Am now sitting on the sofa in a very tidy house, awaiting a knock at the door. DS2 has written as a sign that says, 'Welcome home kitties' on our front door.

PS: SC - my cleaner is like that too, but she does the basics and she's absolutely lovely, so I don't care.

awww "welcome home kitties"... so sweet!

Still waiting for them - argh! We are all so tense now! Every time a car door slams, we all rush to the window.

Toffee I hate that bit (usually when entertaining) just before hand when everything is ready but guests haven't arrived and you are all sitting there tensely twiddling thumbs (doesn't happen often admittedly because I am usually behind with prep!) Hope kitties arrive soon and aw at your ds2's sign!

Alice sorry your stbx being difficult again

Evening all!

Back from campsite yesterday morning and walked straight into a double bereavement - family friend of ILs and my DGM. DH upset not to make the funeral as the same day of our 20w scan and he'd never get back in time, meant we had to scramble for ababysitter since MIL was going to look after ds (no kids allowed at this one) and now ILs are making a fuss because DH won't be able to drive them (other side of country), won't get public transport so now have arranged to go to wake Sunday evening with others and not even considered that DH would like to go (so he's annoyed with them) though this now means MIL can babysit for us in evening when we're going out for our wedding anniversary.

And I'm trying decide what to do about DGM's funeral. Will have to miss first few days of school, travel by myself since there's no point dh coming, taking extra time off work if he then can't come to funeral anyway as he'll have ds.

Just feeling a bit downtrodden. DGM was 90 and had been ill for the last few years, but went downhill so quickly the last 2 weeks.

I don't know if I regret it if I don't go. We're already booked to go back the day after the funeral anyway for a long weekend

Ah well,waiting for funeral date to be confirmed, then see if I can get permission from work and then may book a
flight.

ta da
lomg chatsnwith bf and dsis
yesterday's washing away
wash on
yesterday's washing up

I'm very sorry to hear about your DGM, Engels. It doesn't matter how old someone is, it's always a shock and a great sadness. I hope you can work out what to do about the funeral. It all sounds very difficult.

We are still sitting here, waiting for the kittens. The owner emailed to say she's been delayed and is now going to be here about 6pm. For some reason, I didn't get that message until half an hour ago (although she clearly sent it at midday), which means we've all been on tenterhooks since 3pm.

Now I'm fretting that I should offer her dinner. I have put lots of snacks out on the table - cheese and biscuits, olives, grapes and such like - which seemed suitable for a 3pm visit, but not so much for a 6pm visit. DS2 and I have also managed to polish off a packet of chocolate biscuits .

So sorry to hear about the losses in your families Engels. Hope it all works out okay for the funerals. It does sound like it's going to be tough to get everything sorted, but best of luck in getting there.

Got some paperwork done today. A good friend and her DH were here today visiting briefly and her DH took a look at the vacuum and pronounced it dead. Or rather that the repair would most likely cost almost as much as replacing it, so I'd be better off replacing it. I'm not surprised, so a new vacuum it is.

Ooh alice we got a dyson a few months ago and I'm in love with it. Kept telling DH on the way to shop that Dyson and great British engineering was the way to go just to wind him up Our old one was a Miele and still doing well apart from broken main attachment so it has been relegated to cars/garage cleaning.

Still not sure what to do re:funeral. DH has now arranged that he will drive to wake tomorrow night with ILs. Will meanthey get to pay their respects. I'm leaning towards going home for funeral. Will mean I have a day travelling on my own which may actually be peaceful with no toddler. My dsis could pick me up from Gatwick, then I will stay with her or DPs and go to funeral until DH arrives with ds the day after and we check into our hotel. As long as work okay my time off that is. Sure ir shouldn't be a problem as HT is usually great at okaying this sort of thing for students (with an International School it happens a lot) and I am one of the few real International teachers as most of them are Dutchies.

Our aim tomorrow is to go for a walk in the woods in the morning, drop of DN birthday card, do at least one load of washing and clear the blimmin hotspot in lounge!

Sorry to hear of your bereavements and the resultant logistical problems Engels, hope school are sympathetic.

Toffee - hope kitties arrived safely and are settling in with you tonight.

Alice - sorry you are putting up with FW behaviour, I'm sure you're more than capable of dealing with it but you shouldn't have to.

SC - spooky, I was thinking something similar about Toffee and her DS1 today. I took my DS to his third session at Riding for the Disabled this morning, he has been really enjoying it and he has gained so much from us having cats too, the whole thing about animals being a great help to people with special needs certainly seems to be true for him. I ws wondering whether you have a Riding for the Disabled near you and whether it might be something DS1 would like to do? I am so impressed with them, they are really knowledgeable and helpful and there is no charge for the sessions, although you can make a donation. My DS can't go to the weeekly termtime sessions, but we are planning to take him whenever we can in the holidays.

Anyway, riding this morning, then we all went swimming (DBIL and Dniece too, they went home after lunch). Food shopping, lunch, then a few odd jibs round the garden. Took DS to the allotment for an hour after promising we would be back by 3pm so he could follow all the football scores as they happened. I know it's a signifier that summer is drawing to an end, but I love Saturday afternoons pottering round listening to all the football goings on on the radio.

House is still chaos though and DMIL arrives for a few days on Monday.

Yes, sorry to hear that Engels. Hope arrangements work out.

Looking forward to kitten updates, Toffee.

Today's been quite successful.

Ta da!
Library with boys
Collected DS1's book of recorder for beginners - hoping he can graduate from squawking to tunes!
Nagged Persuaded DH to buy some new shoes
Collected new coffee gizmo
Lunch at garden centre
Swimming with boys (pool is right by the football ground so consequently quiet on match days if you time it right)
Lots of weeding etc in garden
Found home for new coffee gizmo
Cleaned kitchen around it
Tidied utility room
Dining room hotspot
Swept floors
De-cobwebbed
Shiny sink
Polished kettle

Amazing how needing to find a home for something new can spur a major reorganisation and clean. :)

Thanks for both thinking of my DS1, Who and SC. I will certainly look into the equine therapy.

The kittens arrived really late. The poor owner was delayed and didn't get to us until after 7. Her car drew up outside and I went out to direct her to a good parking spot. A moment after I'd started talking, my eyes fell upon the two kittens curled up on the passenger seat next to her - they were so gorgeous! Two sets of big blue eyes stared up at me.

They are completely different characters: the white one is very bold and frisky and desperate to explore the rest of the house; her brother, a tabby, is very shy and has spent the evening tucked inside the shoe rack, too scared to come out.

Both my boys are enchanted. DS2 - who said he didn't want kittens - has spent the evening playing with the white one, then reading a book on kittens and making a house for them out of cardboard. I'm pretending not to notice.

Only one picture so far because the tabby is too shy and the white one is too fast.

BBL with links.

She's beautiful Toffee. Our two are completely different in both appearance and personality, you'd never think they were sisters.

Aww! Sounds like MIL's Siamese. The shy one spent most of Christmas hiding in a bin (empty waste paper basket) and one day couldn't be found - eventually discovered squeezed behind the washbasin in the upstairs bathroom!

Oh dear, Blue, I hope MIL's shy Siamese came out of her shell eventually.

WhoKnows - it's astonishing to see the differences so clearly straight away. These two seem like chalk and cheese.

Have just settled DS1 downstairs on a mattress in the dining room with the kittens. He is determined to sleep with them tonight, although I think they'd be fine left alone.

They have a new cat bed and a lovely fleecy blanket to sleep on, but so far have both preferred the shoe rack .

Links for tomorrow:

It's Babystep Number 17, which I have just failed at in a spectacular fashion: go to bed at a decent time.

Renew your spirit cos it's Sunday.

There are no missions at the weekend. The flight plan is here.

Night all.

Ohnly 1 thing. It is too fecking early on a sunday morning to be up. stupid busy weekend and need to be on the road by half 6am. Unusually awake on the first alarm. Normally sleep through to the last one. Tempting to rollover and snooze until 6am suspect I will only regret it though. Best employ the get up straight away babystep. Can guarentee I will be sticking to babystep 17 tonight though

Ours were just over a year old when they came to us, so a bit different, but their personalities were apparent from day 1, although I would say it has taken at least 6 months for them to fully settle (part of that is us learning how to be with them as well). We never bought them a bed, but gave them some old blankets and a couple of wooden storage boxes, but they very rapidly established their base in a box of secondhand school uniform under our bed (DD kindly removed the lid for them). Then we changed to a divan bed and evicted them, their boxes and blankets are in the bottom of my wardrobe now, we have to be careful not to shut them in (it has sliding doors).

Thanks Bitchy

Very sleepy, thanks to being woken at 5am by the sound of breaking china: one of the kittens had climbed up onto a high-up shelf. I have now packed away all breakables. They have spent some time yowling at me, but are now curled up together in their bed. Phew.

Morning!

[Dives gratefully on to Bitchy's pancakes] Safe travelling today!

Engels so sorry to hear about the loss of your DGM and family friend. That's very hard to come home to. I hope all the logistics work out OK and that your work give you the time you need.

Whoknows so great your ds is enjoying the riding! Agree RDA very knowledgeable and everything extremely well run.

Also have been v. impressed throughout the holidays the way you and Blue take out your boys to do all the sporty stuff you do such as swimming.

Ooooh Toffee the kittens sound lovely - glad they arrived safely in the end - and that little white one is gorgeous! I love its wide-eyed expression! Great that your ds2 is getting on board too! Hope they all settle in happily. [Btw - apologies - didn't realise about the driving!! ]

Waves to Alice and everyone else! I am beginning to think (now I'm older and have to lug the damn thing up and down stairs) is that the most important thing about a hoover, after its cleaning capabilities of course, is its weight. Have an impossibly heavy Nilfisk atm - heart sinks at the prospect of having to carry it anywhere.

We are all up early this morning for church and are feeling a bit ratty. Had a fab evening last night but Dh and I went slightly over the top with the without meaning to ifyswim and he woke up at 5am with indigestion and I woke with a headache (we are obviously too old to drink nowadays!!).

We're fine again now but there are still loads of boring tasks to accomplish before we go away (office is like a furnace that needs constant feeding with fuel and attention to keep it going - you can never just get up and leave.) Also, I am having to do some of the laundry again because a new dress of dd's has run unexpectedly in the wash. And weather is overcast and grey and cold. Had better snap out of it and get on!

Toffee dsis1 has a sideboard and two cats ... plate smashing is their speciality ... they have made their way through most of her china collection. Although she discovered latterly that blue tack works fairly well!

SC Oh I hear you on the weight of the hoover. I'm in the market to buy a new one, and I'm seriously looking at those small electric ones that are like a stick vac that can be easily carried upstairs. I only have the living room to vacuum downstairs and the bedrooms upstairs. If I keep on top of it and vacuum every day, that should be sufficient. I definitely want one of those rechargeable ones, so I can leave it on the charger and not drag cords around looking for an outlet.

The other option is to buy one for upstairs and one for downstairs, which seems a bit silly in a house this size. Not to mention excessive.