The Hoarders Anonymous Thread. Sorting It Out.

[Solo]

There was a thread that I was involved in some time ago which was started by someone trying to understand why her Dh kept so much 'stuff' and couldn't throw anything away.

The thread quickly turned into a support thread for many MN hoarders and there was a large support network that evolved from that thread.

Eventually, the thread died and with it, certainly my 'support and encouragement mates' circle...

From other threads where lovely Mumsnetters have supported and given rl help, there have come other hoarders, untidy people and those who are just plain stuck in a rut admitting they have a problem. People like me that have become emotionally attached to stuff and it has taken over their homes and their lives. People that cannot cope after loss of different types (parent, relationship, job etc) and it just turns into one big nightmare ~ it certainly did for me following my relationship breakdown, my Dad dying and another nine people in my life passing away inside 11 months.
Personally, I feel that being unable to let anyone in through my front door means that no one can hurt me; I've pulled up the drawbridge, so no one can get to me and shoot me again.

I've always been a bit of a collector of things. I'm a make do and mend type and I can make something out of nothing. Trouble is that once I started to lose important things (people mainly) from my life, I felt unable to let anything made of something go...what if I could never get or have another?! that'd be terrible right?

So! that is a part of my story and here is a thread of support and encouragement (I hope) for others feeling overwhelmed by their hoarding, clutter and stuff. I am hoping that I can get my life sorted out and that there are others that will come along on the journey and perhaps also sort out their homes and lives.

I want to raise my drawbridge and invite friends in. Anyone else? :)

How's it going Babies?

Done nothing too busy making tutu and hair bows for my girls birthday parties :)

Me neither!!

Hi Solo and friends Have name changed several times since my first post - right at the beginning of the threads.

Do lurk occasionally but have to admit I am still struggling. I have to leave this house now - largely against my wishes but I think it will be a positive move in the longer term. As a result I have to get the place sorted. So - back here for inspiration!

Just returned from a few days away and am trying to unpack and deal with the things we have brought back, rather than let them just sit there. Do do suitcases normally but we were with my Parents and so have all sorts of other random bits.

I dread having to move! it worries me. I also get to thinking about what would happen if I was incapacitated or worse! who would sort it out?! I need to get sorted.

Two I have left my big holdall for months before now rather than unpack it entirely and put it all away! I take out the dirty stuff to wash, but leave everything else in it unless I actually need it

I've now got a pt job, so I don't have a clue how I'll get it done! Stupid, stupid, stupid! I've wasted so much time!!

Me too - time wasted. Get very depressed and the house is the one thing I cannot deal with.

Have painted a wall today and listed two items on ebay. That is a very small start but I had to go out today and the heavy rain and a major road closed meant 1.45 minutes going nowhere!!!!! Will list another couple of items and try to declutter at least one small space in a corner somewhere.

We had party one of four this month !

Hello!

I hoard, I hate that I do it. I've made a promise that by the time the summer holidays are over I will have cleared the majority of it and started on the garden.

I live in a small 1950's council house and we have no storage. So stuff just gets dumped.

Deep breathing. Tomorrow I'm clearing the corner in the living room.

Well done - it is hard - but a small step is relatively easy and does help.
Come back tomorrow and tell us how you got on.

I'm half way through the toddler's toy pile. I'm doing ok. Two of those tesco reuse bags for charity shop and a bin liner full that can be binned.

Hello!! PG you are in the right place!! welcome :) I am another one with no storage and it's a nightmare!

Hello, I have realised that I hoard things because when my mental health is wobbly I spend money to cheer myself up. My house gets in a mess really easily because I have so much stuff and not enough storage to put it away.

I'm going to have a read of this thread to see if I can pick up any pointers. I did just buy fifteen boxes, nine plastic with lid and six fold down basket type ones. They have been helpful a little bit.

What makes things get unmanageable is that I am disabled and get ill quite often, and then things slide, and it doesn't take much to go from tidy clutter to scary old hoarder lady. So I know I need to cut things down a bit, but I also have to try to do that in manageable chunks, I can't just put five hours into it, I have to do little and often. Encouragement to keep going would be useful.

Welcome to you too FFT :) I totally understand! I have ME and feel the same way; it's hard!!

Keep posting; it's really encouraging for everyone on here! the thread has been quiet for a while, but we have some newbies and that's great! encouragement is right here!! :)

I'm just doing some chasing about on the phone today then I'm going to finish the toys.

I have MH problems too, three kids (one Aspie), all the cats and no energy. Onwards and upwards, fuelled by coffee

Right....I like to list my to do/ done list on here....I don't expect responses as it is pretty boring.

From 8am to 1pm I have...

1. Fully cleaned and bleached the family (only bathroom) Including storage boxes and decluttering medical cabinet. Cleaning wall tiles, suite and floor. Took hours !

However it is much easier to tackle the deep clean having previously declutter and done a pickup and small clean weekly since last declutter. I will deep clean again in a month...add to calender.

1. Sorted Kitchen. Cleared surfaces. Emptied and reloaded dishwasher and washing machine. Sorted laundry piles, ready to wash. Emptied bins and recycling and put outside in bins.

1. Cleared hallways downstairs and upstairs including four bikes ! Six months ago I wouldn't of fitted four bikes on my hall, shows how far I have got.

1. Encouraged children to partial tidy living room and their rooms....will do more tomorrow.

1. Loaded and switched on soup maker for lunch....potato and Lee soup..yum.

Now getting lunch for four children and getting them dressed. I am having quick shower and getting dressed myself and aim to be at grandparents by 3pm

Tomorrow. I will dust and clean hallways and sort out behind the curtain and under the stairs.

I aim to do some cleaning per room. I will tackle same room every day...until it is completely done and move on to the next.

Everyday I will do kitchen, wipe over bathroom, a load of laundry....as a minimum.

Bathroom DONE
Hallway STARTED
Kitchen
Children Rooms
Dining Room
Living Room

Then lastly our room...which is the room I never ever clear completely. It will take a while to get to this one but I aim to get to this room by September.....wish me luck :)

I daren't look in my room. It's the dumping ground for all the things.

Good luck and well done :)

Hey! I just came onto this board to start my own thread and saw this! It's about time I came crawling back :) will catch up in a little while

Just jump in, no catching up needed.

Thank you Babies

So I'm back! It's been a while. I had a little break from MN after changing my username for a bit but really missed certain support threads.

I'm sure I don't need to say that decluttering totally stopped for a while. Health still very up and down, and I just got overwhelmed.

The big news though is that we are now homeschooling we just got to a point where between DS' school refusal and DD's panic attacks I just suddenly realised it was the only option. It's helped a lot, both DCs much happier and DS in particular is flourishing with his learning, but needless to say the house is now even more chaotic!

Anyway. I'm on a bit of a good wave mentally, and I'm trying to power through a bit now. I've been watching old episodes of Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners (started out of curiosity - I am reasonably pleased with how they've handled the subject of OCD cleaning, but not the fact they seem to have neglected to mention that hoarding is often a sign of OCD too!) Some of the milder cases shown on the programme are actually not that different to my house :(. DD has watched a little with me and is similarly inspired. I've never had a go at them for being messy, because it was the hypocrisy of my parents doing so which really upset me as a child. Instead I've said that we are learning together.

My parents - the only people I know who are as bad as, if not worse than, me for procrastinating, are coming to help with decluttering tomorrow. I think mum felt a bit guilty when she realised she was being a tad hypocritical when she said, as I'd told her I was trying to speed up the tidying, that she didn't like having to tiptoe round the clutter here (the house I grew up in, while not so bad for toys and clutter, had mice/slugs/weevils etc... mouldy and hoarded food... it was horrible and made me very anxious). Anyway rather than get angry at the comment or hang up and cry, I just said "Well, can you help me then please?" - she did kind of mumble something noncommittal but a couple of days later said they would come and really help. So that's cool. I have no clue if we will achieve anything but I really hope we can.

Whoa. I can't sleep so I decided to have a quick skim of the thread. I looked for when I first posted on here - and it was only 11 months ago! I'm pleasantly surprised. I'd thought, when I came back here, that I should be ashamed of how long this is taking - but actually it's been much less time than I'd imagined, and really considering everything it's been a reasonable amount of progress in less than a year. After all it took one hell of a lot longer than a year to get into this state.

Fan your first paragraph sound s very familiar.

I have been plugging away for years and apparently it is much clearer....according to friends but I am never going to get to show home standard.

I really don't understand how people can just live with so little stuff !

I find the state of my house and my weight are closely linked to my emotions.

When I am happy, I can lose weight and declutter quite easily.
But when I am struggling and feel down, I get fatter and the house more cluttered.

But the good news is that every decluttering step forward makes it easier the next session, even if I have back sided in the meantime.

The only room I really worry about clearing is our room aka dumping room, as I have never got further than piling sections to sort later...but I will get there one day.

Today is a lazy day, as I have been up all night with a vomiting child....yuck.

Yep our bedroom is the worst too. Only sorted most of it a couple of months ago and the floor is covered again! I am getting better at stuff like laundry though, so it is better than before.

Right my parents will be here any minute so I'm signing off and making a plan for the day.

Hope your DC is better soon though, Babies!