December already! Fledgings will sleigh the pre-Christmas clutter (and eat all the mince pies)

[GoingGoingGoth]

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support , and along the way.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do someting more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings. Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Thanks to BlueEyeshadow and SlimChance for the November thread.

All welcome!! And remember that December is the new January!

Hi all!

Goth glad dentist went well. I know what you mean about feeling like fillings are your fault.

Welcome Paint hope you feel better soon.

Ta da
Load of washing
Get DD up and clean
Recycle water cartridges
Clean hallway table
Sort pile of coats
Lunch and breakfast
Doors and mirrors for weekly bleurgh

To do
Clean bath - has been on list for days!
Get second load of washing out the machine
Dinner
Wash up

DD sleeping on me lots today so quite a feet up day. Am going into London to see work colleagues tomorrow which is quite a commute so will do zero flying I expect!

Evening all

Ta da
Work (8 lessons)
Washing up
Frozen pizza for dinner
Shower

I am so fucking tired. DS' s sleep is hideous. I feel such a failure and so ineffective. I feel so resentful that DH gets to work 4 days a week and I don't because of childcare issues. I feel angry and resentful that DH doesn't have to get DS off to nursery and then go to work - he only has to deal with himself.. I feel guilty because I would rather be at work than at home at the moment. Going to work is a break (and I work with TEENAGERS!). Had a massive row with DH on Monday as my 2nd day in a row with DS (DH was decluttering the garage...too dangerous for DS so I was dealing with him) and I was at my wits end with tantrums and the state of this house (DH leaves his CRAP everywhere then grumps around when he can't find it).. Ended in me in a heap on the kitchen floor crying. DH just walks away and doesn't understand that what I need is sympathy and more practical support from him. He said something hideous to me about it being good that I wasn't pg if I can't cope with DS right now. Honestly, he apologised for it immediately, but once words are out of your mouth you can't unsay them.

And tonight, DH has put DS to bed and not a peep from him. Last night when I did it, it was a drama.

I'm sorry to moan, I just need to vent.

But, for the first time in YEARS I have the house to myself for an hour or do in the evening. DH started fortnightly guitar lessons.

So, on my list for now marking beer, doctor who and nothing else.

I have had one of those afternoons where everything has gone tits up. Had to cancel my meeting. There are some insane drivers out there and the roads have been grid locked for hours and hours

I also have a very large list of stuff that still needs to be done. CBAitits has just kicked in which is very inconvient as I have only dealt with 1/3rd of the wardrobe situation and my bed is currently under stuff

Engels - that all sounds normal to me ! Sleep deprivation is truly hideous and is used as a form of torture, remember. Of course you would rather be at work - why would you feel guilty about that? You get breaks at work, you get to go to the loo and eat without interruption, you can have adult conversations, etc.

I'm sorry DH said what he said . It was thoughtless and stupid and cruel. None of us would have second babies if we were judged on how we coped with our first. It's really, really hard work. Sounds like your DH needs to spend more time looking after your little one so that he really understands what hard work it is.

I heard something on the radio yesterday that really resonated. This nurse from the Caribbean said that she was shocked at how we, in the UK, left mothers to cope alone if they were struggling; in her culture, she said, family and friends would help look after the baby and give the mother as much time as she needed to get well again. When I had PND, I felt like a failure because I was struggling. Now I think it was society's failure that I wasn't supported adequately.

Oh, and more ((hugs)).

Swan - of course you would cope with home educating, if you had to. Don't feel down because of that book. Home educators always put a positive spin on their experience. I'm sure they all have days when their children won't learn or they are just too damn tired to do anything with them, but they don't admit it. Home ed is still there as your safety net if you should need it, but it sounds as if school is going ok at the moment.

Paint - well done! Looks like you achieved what you needed. Now go to bed and rest (strict order!).

rowing - actually, my bedroom is probably worse than yours .

Bitchy - am very glad I don't drive sometimes. Hope you manage to find your bed tonight.

DS2 came out of school with a heart-shaped bit of paper for me this afternoon, signed from him to me. Aww. Will be putting that straight into my memory box .

Am still on the Lemsip. DS1 seems a bit better (slept till 2 ) so am hoping he'll manage school tomorrow.

Ta da :

Nap (two hours!)
School run
Work
Dinner

As usual, the ironing is not done.

enjoy Dr Who.

Dizzy just as SC says, yesterday I had a massive list but today zilch (or feels like it). I spend most days fighting fires (cleaning up the destruction) but any headway seems to be destroyed every night, that what comes with living with 6 males!!

Ta da
School run 1hr
Dog walk
Tidied kitchen sides
D/w
T/d
W/m
Laundry
hair done
school run 1hr
Dinner
Made blueberry cake with DS4.
D/w

And still the house looks like a tip!!

Fledglings have been busy today, on the thread, took half hour just to catch up! Sounds like everyone's have a difficult day,.help yourselves.

Hi all. So sorry to have dropped out of site. Busy few days, although I admit I've only gotten the bare minimum done. Hopefully back on track tomorrow.

Will read back to catch up.

Thank you ladies. toffee your post just made me cry. That's exactly how I feel about going to work - right now at home I can't leave the room without DS chasing after me. I can't go to the toilet by myself!

DS started crying and then screaming 10 mins after DH left so I ended up upstairs for 20 mins calming him and then he fell asleep so I could sneak back downstairs.

Have just managed to watch the end of the Christopher Eccleston series. Tomorrow...David Tennant!

Engles oooh!! David Tennant, my favourite Dr.
Makes me want to watch them all again. Oh go on then, you have twisted my arm!! Yep watch them again, starting tonight!

LINKS FOR 5 DECEMBER 2013

*
Babystep 5 is to ignore the niggling negative voices, and to turn them into a positive.

This week we are in Zone 1 Entrance, Front Porch and Dining Room. Detailed cleaning list here

Sneak Peek for the week's missions, today's is move all those shoes, books and jackets that seem to pile up right by the front door and put them away.

Thursday's focus is Errand day to go do anything required outside the house. I'm off to IKEA!!

December's monthly habit is Pampering.

Flight Plan for today.

*
Christmas Holiday Cruise Mission 4 is to make any appointments required during the next few weeks, rather than putting them off.

Back later with the summary

SUMMARY

PMPY has sorted the Playmobil chaos! and hopefully has got her antibiotics today

Mr Toffee was at the dentist! hope his appointment went well. Hope you got a nap, rather than doing the ironing.

Bitchy had an early night!

SC has had a busy few days with a 5 1/2 hour declutter, major shopping trip and a fantastic choice for DD's advent calendar choosing godparent!

Swan and her DH turn out to both have strong views on sandwich wrapping. Hope he has a good birthday tomorrow.
A friend Home Eds her DD, I don't think it's easy all the time, but she is a bright little girl, and very knowledgable. I tried it short term when we were moving, and found it difficult, but they said it takes 6months to get them out of the school routines.

giraffes has a good list which includes exercise.
at organised thread! we're only on day 5, you'll see me unravel as the month goes on

dizzy has a case of CBA. Do not compare against anybody else's list, we all get down re cleaning/life/kids/husbands regularly You are just started so ignore the detailed cleaning (I've never done it), just stick with the Babysteps.
You'll find that even though this is a cleaning thread, we mostly talk about everything else.

Paint joined us! feel free to pop in and out as much as you like. As well as a 'naughty corner' which is well stocked with , & , I am seriously thinking of setting up a 'quarantine corner' with painkillers, hot honey & lemon, hot milk and rum works a treat cushions, blankets, tissues etc.

rowing joined in the 'my bedroom is messier than yours' competition, I would like to enter DD's room for consideration.

Engels I don't know why children seem to play up less for their dad's, probably because we end up as part of the furniture. I think Toffee sums up my views much better than I could ham-fistedly put it.
On a plus side you now have David Tennant in your life.

Angry had a less productive day, but dealing with 6 males deserves a medal or

Sorry if I've missed anyone, hope everyone has better days tomorrow. Off to bed.

Just finished watching Series1 Episode 1 Rose with Christopher and Billy, while waiting to get the next load of w/m and T/d on. Shined the sink and S&S downstairs loo to give me a head start on tomorrow!! Shh don't tell anyone I am such a nerd!

'Fraid not goth - had to drive to Watford and back (from yorkshire so took aaaages. I will tomorrow though. It feels like my eye might fall out!

Evening,

Sorry for being AWOL, hectic week, haven't read all the way back, but just wanted to send a hug to Engels.

Oh and Bitchy - I have just received my copy of that book you told me about the other week, looking forward to reading that. Someone else linked to it on MN the other day too.

A great evening here, DH took DS to his first ever premier league football match (the team DS supports was playing away to our local team) and DS's team won, they have just arrived home very happy and tired. I support the local opposition so I was happy about the result for other reasons! Meanwhile I have been out for a meal with my colleagues and had a really good laugh and a friend babysat for DD.

Ta-da!
Morning routine, school etc
Work
School
Make and ice cakes for Christmas fair tomorrow
Dinner and DW on
Downstairs rescue as it was all pretty scuzzy and didn't want friend to see - hoover, quick clean of bathroom, wipe all kitchen counters, tidy living room).
Watch football highlights on TV while waiting for DS to come home, I could see him sat behind the goal, awww.

Tomorrow will also be hectic, no work, but helping set up and run school Christmas Fair from 1 till about 5.30. Plus a washing mountain to tackle in the morning. And I really should go swimming or do some form of exercise.

whoknows are you in the north west? DH has also been out to the football tonight...

If you are, it sounds like I support your team too!

I was meant to blitz the living room tonight ready for the tree at the weekend but have spent all evening cooking a "quick" meal that took 90 minutes!!! And sorting bits for DS' feed and medicines. They take flipping ages! So craft night tomorrow is now annoyingly living room blitz night.

Plus I drove DM's car today, parked it on a road and someone has driven by and smashed the glass out of her wing mirror as well as the casing off the back of it so tomorrow I'll be trying to somehow get that fixed no doubt at great cost. Am not feeling festive.

Hi Silly, we're on the south coast, Southampton vs Villa, DS supports Villa, I support Portsmouth, so a bit of a local rivalry thing (to put it mildly). Some exciting games tonight. How annoying about the wing mirror, they're not cheap on modern cars.

Goth - yes, napping won over ironing . This helped prepare me for the news that, unfortunately, Mr Toffee's teeth are going to cost us the price of a small holiday .

engels Sorry to make you cry! The stage you are talking about (when you can't even go to the loo on your own) doesn't actually last that long, but it feels endless. Somehow, you have to find resources of patience that you never knew you had (and that is easier to find if you get some sleep, some breaks and some support). Funnily enough, David Tennant is exactly what the doctor ordered (did you see the thread the other day with Mumsnetters drooling over him?).

Thanks for that great round up, Goth. Hope you get some good stuff at Ikea tomorrow.

Have finished the evening routines and laid all the clothes out. Looks like the boys will be wearing odd socks though, as I can't find any that match.

Thanks for listening girls.

It's not your lists per se that gets me down - I love reading Bitchy's! (hope my grammar is correct), I think it is more that whilst DD is at school I have a huge void in my day. I really could use the time for making the house pristine, or doing something about reducing the size of my lardy a*se, or even trying to turn my sewing into a "proper" business but instead I frequently spend all day doing actually nothing.

Things are not exactly "loving" between DH and me - and honestly I haven't the inclination to try and make things better. He says perhaps I need to get a job (to get out the house more) but as my shyness is pretty chronic I can't think of anything more torturous! And he still wouldn't help out around the house.

I think I need to just continue shuffling along and then try to set some real life goals from January onwards. {Insert kick up the backside emoticon here}

Today's Ta-Da

• Meal planning and food buying
• To school to see DD in her class assembly
• DD to swimming club
• Dinner made (and burnt!)
• Remaining Xmas cards plus all envelopes
• Elf repositioned in new scenario

Engels - My exDH said something similar to me (after our loss) whilst at the same time forgetting that he did as little with our DS as humanly possible! I didn't get a full night's sleep for over a year and used to spend at least an hour every evening trying to get DS to go to sleep as he was overtired because DH had wanted him to be up when he got home from work! Have some and and a {hug}.

And on that note I best get to bed. Night all x

Is not having a good morning!! I am hampered by the cut from when I tried to remove my finger last night, someone hid the doglead so the teenager could not walk the dog, a child has stolen day 12 out of everyone else advent caldendar and DS2 remember he had food tech 10 minutes before he was leaving!!! argh!!!

Oh dear budha

Take the book in small chunks whoknows it is heavy going but does trigger so many light bulb moments. Although I am no further reading since I saw you. and i have no idea what safe place i put it in

As my body hates me after yesterday's wardrobe adventures and my alarm went off as i was falling asleep, I am about to pour myself back into bed for a few hours. I will regret it i suspect but totally unable to do anything in the state I am in.

Posting without reading thread as I left a huge post on Monday which either MNet or my laptop appears to have eaten . I then meant to post again but the cold from hell ensured that I lay down on the bed last night after putting DS to bed and woke up 11 hours later. Feel a bit better for it though.

Today is a day of crisis clean as due to the cold the house looks like a bomb site.

I'm going to finish my work, then flee round doing bathrooms, kitchens and living rooms complete with my crates - bin, recycling and put away somewhere else. BUT only for this morning. This afternoon will be dedicated to lying on the couch, watching crap telly and finishing writing the Christmas cards so that I can make DS's with him tomorrow and then get them posted.

So, waves and and to everyone, and I promise I'll catch up later on.

Morning, just getting ready to go out again.
Need to get coathangers, storage jars, basket for DD's cuddly toys, look at the Christmas section, free coffee and a hot dog not looking at food section, oh no

DH seriously thought the school would be shut this morning due to the wind! But we made it on time, and it wasn't so bad once you got outside. Lots of tree branches down, and surface water. I can see this winter's mantra being "there's no such thing as bad weather, just unsuitable clothing"

GothCat is doing my head in, MrGoth shared some turkey with him last night, which he expected to be hand fed! not happening So he has a bowl of Turkey breast but is whining for cat food.

Angry love the fact it was day 12, they must have thought it would be a week before anyone noticed!

Angry - not a good morning for you, but hugely entertaining for the rest of us .

dizzy - am going to PM you. Chin up!

Doris - I like your two-part day (especially the second half).

Goth - wouldn't DC love it if school closed every time there was a sign of bad weather? Your cat sounds sweet and pampered, by the way. Not long till we can get another kitten .

Bitchy and WhoKnows - what is this book of which you speak?

DS2 very reluctant to go to school this morning, but I was brisk and jolly and managed to get him there (albeit late). DH didn't do so well with DS1, who is still at home and still complaining of tummy ache. He is asleep again, so I think he really is under the weather, although I'm concerned that this week's extended timetable has overwhelmed him a little. Ah well.

Only managed five and a half hours sleep last night, but am ok for the moment. Whizzed around doing my routines as soon as I arrived back from the school run, so I have a 'ta da':

Swished and swiped in bathroom
Made beds (I never used to bother with this, but it only takes a second and makes me feel virtuous)
Unloaded d/w
Put washing on
Reloaded d/w
Tidied and cleaned kitchen surfaces
Wiped down cooker
Washed up glasses by hand
Put kitchen rubbish and recycling out
Ignored mounting pile of ironing
Ignored flaming hotspot in kitchen
Had breakfast

About to start work with DH now, sitting at the kitchen table. This calls for .

ta da
morning routine, school runs
checked bank
checked gas/electric meters
laundry
washing up
tidied living room

to do
vacuum living room
finish going over budget and next week's meal plan
put together shopping list for tomorrow
finish "to do" list for tomorrow (extremely busy day of running around)
finish Christmas cards
hopefully one more load of laundry

Still a bit off today. Tired, I think. The "week of sickness" has taken a lot out of me, and now both DCs are having asthma problems and I'm spending what little time I get to sleep at night checking on coughing and wheezing children and administering inhalers as needed.

I'm looking forward to Christmas break just for the time off from school runs at this point.

Ta Da
Tidy kitchen
Swept floor,
d/w
Washed up
Sorted bathroom cabinet (15 minutes declutter)
Tidied both bedroom unit tops (15 md)
S&S x2
Went in the cupboard at the top stair - which is like the Tardis, as runs the full length of the house, but only at waist level, which holds all the Xmas decs, Halloween decs, Summer clothes, keepsakes, rugby kit and swimming kit, hats, and spare shoes etc etc, and sorted it all. 3hrs later emerged back out.

To do
Get dinner on
School run
In charge of 28 Cubs and family's, around a campfire, singing Christmas songs, drinking mulled wine, eating soup or Mince pies. (God hopes it doesn't rain and the wind dies down)
Iron 20 school shirts!!

The Elf came through the door last night and played Poker with a couple of Teddies. The youngest 3 are enjoying this no end. Found a letter from one of them To Santa, Saying Don't forget Mummy this year!! Brought a tear to my eye.