Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

I need someone to give me a good slap!

28 replies

SJP83 · 05/11/2013 21:01

I had a mini breakdown today, tears, panic, palpitations, anger, you name the emotion I've demonstrated it today. Much to the annoyance, derision and pity of DH. I'm now in bed mulling things over with a glass of red. What could have caused all this you ask? I'll tell you, housework, laundry and general to do list type jobs. I'm 7 months into my maternity leave with a man, a 6 month old daughter, a dog, two guinea pigs and some fish to look after. I wouldn't consider myself a domestic goddess by any stretch of the imagination but I do think I am giving myself a hard time here. I mean yes, my cream carpets might be speckled with fluff but it's not like we're living with half an inch of dust or with poo speckled toilet bowls. So despite the house appearing to the slightly blind eye relatively clean I cannot seem to gain any perspective. I spend my days sweeping, picking up, cooking, washing up but can I find time to dust the skirts or clean the curtains. My to do list is off the page. Please help ladies, do you feel like your home is more sty than style? Am I being far too much of a perfectionist? Or if not how on bloody earth do you lot find time to clean your oven and wash your blinds?

OP posts:
Tommy · 05/11/2013 21:03

if it's any help, I don't

SJP83 · 05/11/2013 21:03

Ffs. I pushed post by accident. Now my poor grammar is going to upset me. Gah.

OP posts:
Mum2Fergus · 05/11/2013 21:10

I don't....and I empathise. You'd think when the pile of laundry to be put away is so tall it falls you'd do something about it, not I...I started a whole new pile!! Seriously, don't stress, what's the worst that could happen if you don't dust your skirting board!! Put your time and energy into the baby Smile

pudseypie · 05/11/2013 21:16

You have a 6 month old! You are setting the bar way too high for yourself. Why not try to get one big thing done on your list each week and just keep the basics clean, like run hoover round, clean bathroom and put washing machine on? You can't expect to do everything and look after a young baby and those moments with dc won't wait but the cleaning certainly will!

everydayaschoolday · 05/11/2013 21:19

OK deep breath. That's a good start: glass of wine and feet up in bed.

The truth is the rest of us don't find the time to do all those jobs you'll likely have on your list. Some of us have cleaners (I don't) and some of us with kids in tow just accept we have to lower our standards a bit (that's me). I can cope (just) with the day to day routine cleaning, but I am going to invest in getting someone in to do my oven as a christmas present to myself, and the rest of the big jobs I'm scheduling for spring cleaning in the new year.

I'm concerned that if you're having difficulty gaining perspective as you say and you've had a little bit of a melt down (I did too this week on exactly the same housework topic and not being in control or on top of it), please, please speak to your Health Visitor or GP as you may have post natal depression.

But for tonight, enjoy the wine and get an early night. Be kind to yourself and cherish and enjoy the time with your little baby. You're really doing great, but don't try to do too much or take too much on.

SecretRed · 05/11/2013 21:23

I don't either and I too get stressed out by it. I get slightly less stressed now I'm back at work as I'm not at home all of the time so is suggest getting out as much as you can. I'm sure your house is clean by the way you've described it but the more you look at it the more stuff you can see that 'needs' doing if that makes sense.

everydayaschoolday · 05/11/2013 21:24

really sorry if my post came across as a bit blunt. I don't mean to assume anything about you or to hurt your feelings. It's just that you may need to get some support or talk to someone if it's been a little bit overwhelming. Hope you're OK. x

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 05/11/2013 21:24

I'm sitting here MNing with a huge pile of ironing on the chair beside me. It can bloody well sit there, I've had enough today. It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm already in a bad mood. Hmm

everydayaschoolday · 05/11/2013 21:27

OMG, me too Ilovemydog!! Except it's not my birthday tomorrow Sad.

Happy birthday for tomorrow!

SJP83 · 05/11/2013 21:33

And breathe. It's not just me! I feel guilty if I leave her to do the housework but a failure if I don't get it done! I am rational enough to know she needs me way more than the kitchen floor does, but those little white dog hairs on my black slate tiles drive me insane... I don't know if I can switch this mild ocd off though. I need coping strategies, to do lists, rotas? Or maybe I should just leave the house at 7am and only come back when its dark and I can use ambient lighting to disguise the dustballs.

OP posts:
SJP83 · 05/11/2013 21:40

Happy birthday ilovemydog! And everydayaschoolday no offence taken AT ALL. I know something isn't right up there if chores cause me to feel this rubbish. If I was reading my post as someone else I'd be mildly concerned for their general mental health.

OP posts:
everydayaschoolday · 05/11/2013 21:47

It just resonated with me as I was diagnosed with PND yesterday. I'm just glad you see that it's not just you, and you're in good company.

BoffinMum · 05/11/2013 21:50

I know so much about cleaning I have written a book about it and been on TV giving people advice about it.

And while I do a bit of cleaning, I have a cleaner for the heavy stuff.

And a bit of rabbit poo on the carpet or a bit of fluff on a blind won't keep me awake at night.

If I were to speculate wildly about a stranger on t'interweb, I'd imagine you've a got a mild dose of PND probably (like about 75% of the postnatal population at any given time, I imagine), combined with actually spending too long looking at the detail of your house too much. Do you know what you might want to do about it?

everydayaschoolday · 05/11/2013 21:52

are you Anthea Turner?!!!!!

everydayaschoolday · 05/11/2013 21:52

sorry, couldn't resist that one!

BoffinMum · 05/11/2013 21:53

Nope, she gets paid a LOT more Wink

Here I am:

SuperScrimpers links

everydayaschoolday · 05/11/2013 21:59

I feel like I've just met a celeb. You've made my night! Grin

Sorry for thread de-rail.

BoffinMum · 05/11/2013 22:10

Blinking heck, if I count as a celebrity then you need to get out more, chuck. Wink Grin

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 05/11/2013 22:17

Aww, thanks every and SJP. Smile

There's always bloody housework of some sort. Break it down into manageable little bits that you can do each day if you have to.

everydayaschoolday · 05/11/2013 22:55
Grin
SlatternismyMiddlename · 07/11/2013 19:07

Sorry, I have been off line for a bit and missed your post. How do you feel now OP?

I too become increasingly overwhelmed with it all. There is such a thing as too many lists. As previous poster said break things into small manageable chunks, alot less disheartening than a to do list that goes on for pages.

goodmum123 · 07/11/2013 21:04

I get overwhelmed too. My house is an embarrassing dump. My dd is 3 but everywhere is still chaotic. I work 0.9 so I'm shattered all the time. I had/ have??? Pnd and sometimes I just simply go to bed rather than face it all. Sorry that's no help but you are not alone xxxx

shimmeringinthesun · 07/11/2013 21:14

Many years ago when my boy was born I was given a tart dish Confused with the following poem on it:

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow ,
For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow .
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep ,
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

A bit cheesy/corny I know, but the message is simple and true. Just be kind to yourself, and enjoy your baby.

Viviennemary · 07/11/2013 21:33

You can only do what you can do. The rest will have to wait. Somebody posted a useful schedule/rota not long ago. Under housework schedules.

littlestressy · 07/11/2013 21:39

A man comes to clean my oven, I love him. He makes it sparkle.
I never clean curtains, skirting boards, top of door frames.
I very, very rarely dust.

The rest gets done as it gets messy and dirty! Try to do a little bit at a time instead of a whole load. I clean up and 10 minutes later it's a mess again with a DS who just loves to empty toys everywhere, why bother sometimes? My laundry pile is consistently huge - washed and dry, just not put away.