Is it October already the fledglings utter? We'll Fly with our broom sticks and start to declutter...

[Slimchance]

If you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and and along the way.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do someting more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings. Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

Humungous thanks to Whoknows for leading us through the tricky start to the academic year ....

All welcome!!

Oh no Swan - what a pain with the locking out. My DS would not have coped well with that either. We've yet to find a drama we can all watch together, I am not interested in any of the Saturday evening family stuff. The only things we watch together are GBBO, Strictly, and nature type programmes. SC we also have the fiddling with gadgets and DCs talking over everything problem too. DD isn't addicted to gadgets yet but the rest of us are .

Goth glad DH is on the mend.

Trazzle - I would have been gutted about the girls night out too, but I'm sure they probably just assumed you wouldn't be able to make it. A bit insensitive to post on FB though.

A good day here, apart from DS waking us all up at 6am scared because a cat jumped on his bed, then deciding to get up anyway as it wasn't long till the F1 started, then giving a running commentary up the stairs. Cats came out last night and explored the whole house, but disappeared under beds again all day. DH had a couple of hours at the allotment, we all went for a bike ride/picnic lunch then Ds went to a party with a friend. Cats have emerged agin in the last hour, one is sat on the foot of my bed as I type. Two loads of washing done and line dried, then ironed in front of Downton.

Morning all

Ds woke me up as he needed some water. I couldn't sleep after so thought I would catch up with the thread and here I am best part of an hour later! I had forgotten how quickly this thread moves!

Trazzles I think that it is great that you will be getting some extra support. You really deserve it. I understand you being upset about your friends, but hope there is a reason for them not including you, maybe they thought you had said you had plans this weekend?

Whoknows your kittens sound adorable

Glad ds had a good birthday Toffee

I'm going to quickly list dump and get some sleep or I will regret this in the morning.

Ta da
Cleaned out car
Cleared desk
Loads of ironing and putting away
3 loads of washing
Filed paperwork from my course
Changed beds

To do for Monday
Dw
Wash sheets
Make sure I reflect on my day for course (instead of leaving it until I can't remember what I did)
Start typing up observations
Dd to dancing
Clean bathroom
Attempt home bleurgh

Right I'm back off to bed.

I'm still here but not posting much as I am trying (but failing) to stick to my MN-15-mins-only rule.

To stop my head just buzzing with to-do things I have a new mantra - WBD - to be mentally chanted at various key points of the day. These stand for -
WASHING - put it on, out, in (v important this - how often have I left dry washing on the line to be soaked again overnight?), away.
BREAD - I make my own - not a lot of trouble but if I don't do the requisite bits at the right time then system fail.
DISHWASHER - not needed in the middle of the day, but definitely night and morning. We run on Economy 7 elec so both this and washing are timed to run just before I get up.

Well, wasn't that exciting! I need to get out more!

DH is improving but trying to get the requisite physios and OTs here is a nightmare.

Hope you can sort things out with your friends Trazzle; I'm sure their must be a friendly explanation. A lot of people just don't seem to know how to treat people with caring responsibilities - I know I didn't before I had them

Bugger - need to learn to type faster - well over 15 mins.

Thanks all.

DH said I should just ask them about it but it sounds whiny and childish to me. He thinks they would have assumed I couldn't go and didn't want to ask me and make me feel bad having to say no. that would have hurt a lot less than just being ignored Perhaps it was someone else's birthday so I wasn't invited. We only go out, like, twice a year so it's quite a big deal when it happens.

They do occasionally marginalise me so perhaps I need to realise that I'm not such a big deal to them as they are to me. But having said that they are doing this big physical challenge next year to raise money for charity for DS again didn't think to ask me if I'd be interested so it's all a bit odd. I asked why they hadn't asked me about that and they said I have enough on my plate already. They don't seem to understand that they are just pushing me to the sidelines. Or perhaps they do.

Anyway, they are coming round here later so perhaps I should get up and do some washing up ...

Thanks for listening!

Good morning!

Thanks for all the advice about screens and telly everyone! We have imposed a new "family viewing rule" for when we are all together - ie no other distractions allowed. Although, as many of you have said, sometimes it is easier to put up with the distraction than all the chatter and wriggling that goes on ... .

Trazzles Easier said than done and probably talking through my hat as usual but could you possibly just be honest and say "I'm sure it's not intentional on your part but I feel a bit pushed to the sidelines"? Then, judging from their response, you might get a slightly better idea of where they are coming from. You have enough going on without being stressed by this sort of thing so they can hardly object to a bit of honesty/straight talking. Hope it goes OK anyway. As I said, much easier to suggest sitting here than actually do!

Glad to hear your dh is doing a bit better Honu but sorry the support is difficult to come by. It must be terribly wearing having to battle the system constantly. V. impressed by the self-discipline of your 15-min Mumsnet limit and new mantra.

Ditto re: setting the machines overnight for the morning. Machines with delay settings are a god-send!

Because my motivation is often non-existent and satisfaction limited (ie unrenovated house rarely looks good even after huge efforts) and I have the willpower of a slug when it comes to chores and I am easily overwhelmed by the enormity of the tasks necessary to keep this house habitable ie Im a wimp, my new mantra is "cut every task down in to the smallest chunks possible" which is the same as Flylady but dividing (and hopefully conquering) even more! Sounds obvious, but it is really helping me get through the tedious stuff atm!

[Hands strong coffee over to Mercury.] Hope you caught up with some sleep in the end and good luck with your list.

Whoknows Sounds as if the furries are settling in well . We watch exactly the same progs as you btw.

Hope you and your ds1 have a lovely extended birthday celebration lunch Toffee and yay to martial arts again!

Crikey Swan you must be exhausted today after such an active and stressful weekend. I don't suppose you can take Mondays "off" can you - probably not - how about one or two ring-fenced hours for yourself instead to recharge? I must say I was relieved that dd wasn't watching Downton last night as she sometimes does. With it being an hour ahead here, she had already gone to bed.

Glad to hear your dh's is OK ¨Goth but that's quite a long recovery time .. .poor him ... and you have loads on your plate atm. Good luck with it all.

Ah well at least the car is decluttered Bitchy Good luck with Mt. Washmore.

Arf at Nicknacks 'outrage' at the prospect of being rearranged!

Stillwearing you can do it!

Big encouraging wing flaps to eveyrone I have missed! Hope you have a good start to the week!

Ta da:
morning routine inc dw, wm, s&s, rabbits
catch up with thread
hang up wash on terrace
dining room table hot spot

To do:
clear hall (again )
home bleugh ground floor
iron 3 bits of clothing for dd
hand washing (want to profit from last of sun's rays and wash some woollys - apparently the weather is going to turn colder at the end of the wk)
thorough clean out of rabbits
organise rubbish and recycling
clean out one of the remaining boxes of clutter in the boudoir
dye Barnet Fair if have time
office admin
"meeting" with dh at lunch time to discuss future house plans (have to make an appt with him nowadays to do this
small supermarket shop
supper prep
school run
hwk supervision
collect child of friend
evening routine

Not a bad day - looks longer written down than it really is!! Have a good one everybody!

Must do some work. I also need to decide whether to apply for some training for a very inspiring but absolutely terrifying project! Cot has gone from the spare room (woohoo!) so need to finish tidying up in here too.

Trazzles - ((hugs)) It sounds to me (but obviously I don't really know) like they don't know how to include you, with the assuming you've got too much on your plate already comment, so would echo SC about talking honestly about how you feel.

Big waves all round and a vat of on the bar.

SC I'm glad you said that about the tasks. I am really floundering this morning, although the cleaning lady is here again (she couldn't go to my mother's house) doing ironing.

There is so much cr**p to sort, let alone talk to various secondary schools about homework related problems.

But the good news is that I don't have to go in to count money at church this morning, so I DO actually have some extra time. Just have to avoid panicking!!!!! (which counting money helps defer

todo
sort out ds1 quagmire of loose papers, which I promised to put into subject folders for him. It is just out of control. I think he lives on his wits at present.
Make a library book box
CLEAN MY BEDROOM, and change sheets
throw some more clothes away, as they all make me look fat and dowdy, and I need some new ones. Yesterday I tried to wear a very charming skirt from ten years ago (you know the sort with asymmetrical seams and frayed lace on it) and DH said he had never seen anything so awful and unflattering. I binned it in relief. The fashions have changed...it did look nice but now the boho bag lady look is no more, especially on mature frame!!!

Whoknows sounds as if your weekend was very nice

Trazzles my kind aunty always makes an effort to invite me to family meetups, even though I live further out. It's turned out into a bit of nightmare because I feel I ought to go because she's invited me, yet it isn't really very easy to fit into the weekend - the children's characters being as they are, and we end up with everyone tense and upset like yesterday. Yet I'm sure I would be cross and excluded if she didn't invite me, it is so difficult to get it right. I suppose the lesson is to keep inviting people even if you know they won't come, but not putting any pressure on them TO come. Which is what your friends should have done. I think Facebook makes things worse than ever, doesn't it?

Trazzles - I suspect your friends think they are being helpful by not demanding too much of you when you have so much going on. I hope you can discuss it with them today.

Managed to get DS2 to school this morning, in spite of him coughing and sneezing and complaining that he was too ill. Dosed him up with Calpol, but feel a bit guilty about sending him in. However, it's only a cold, he was fine with it yesterday and he has had so much time off school already. And, more to the point, DH and I are taking DS1 out for a birthday lunch today and DS1 really wanted to have us to himself. Am just hoping I don't get a call from the school later.

I'm thinking of turning our homework rows into a humorous sketch - may be the only way to beat the blues. This morning I had ds2 screaming that he didn't need to know how much amber Lithuania produced, just why it had joined the EEC in 2004, and asking me why I had done his homework all wrong However, I learnt two fascinating facts. Leonard Cohen is of Lithuanian origin and Vilnius was known as the Jerusalem of the North. Science: I've also discovered that someone called Erastosthenes learnt to measure the circumference of the earth by measuring the difference in the angle of the sun between Cyene and Alexandria, and how many different ways you can spell Erastosthenes if you are ds2.

SENCO says she is sorting out differentiation, and that Ds2 has a LSA in school shared with another child, so that is positive. Atm the most important thing is that we can read what his homework actually IS.

Ta da
Made DR appt for DS who still has very high temp and not himself at all
Chat with best friend
Skype with sister on other side of world, who's had some potentially scary health news. Wish she was here so I could give her a hug

DS woke us up by wandering into out room at 4am this morning so didn't get much sleep. Then DH rang me from work and woke me up at 8.30 to ask how it was going. I do not deal well with sleep deprivation.

Okay, haven't caught up with overnight posts yet.
Am going to put series 3 of Downton on and get cracking on the ironing (DH was huffing and puffing about not being able to find any clean, ironed T-shorts this morning at 6.30am - he knows where the ironing pile is!

Ironed T-shirts???

I've not been very on the ball recently blue so have been managing to leave stuff in the tumbledryer for at least 24hours (which is in a little shack on the back of our house so perhaps a little damp) and then chucked into a basket where everything has been sitting for 3 weeks in the corner of the living room. I've been on a bit of an ironing ban since DS was born but seem to have slipped back into it (DH wears T-shirts to work - office - weird informal Dutchies).

Done
I've done: bathrooms
sorted out the rubbish situation, including recycling bin
washed out two bins
cleared the yard in garden
sorted out laundry, collected from bedrooms
put away ironing
two admin phone calls
tidied playroom, removed 5 mins of clutter
food recycling
cleared hall table
threw away three items
made another pile of clothes to go in summer box in loft
decluttered some paperwork

cleaner has done
hoovered kitchen and playroom
hoovered stairs
tidied kitchen, wiped down surfaces
ironing
made three beds She is much faster than me!!

Now I feel tired again [boo!]
but need to tackle my room for at least ten minutes, okay I'm not going to manage tidying it properly
go to doctor for repeat prescription at 2.00pm
pick up ds2 (he asked to be picked up at end of school)
read ten pages of new book to revive spirit before children return

Afternoon all, where is the day going?!

Done
Morning routines
DD to school
DH to doctors (daily dressing change) -thank god I don't have to do it.
Cupboard tidied
Paperwork up to date -just need to go to Council to drop it off

Good to tell DH hasn't been around, the flat is reasonably tidy!

To do
Couple of missions in kitchen
Dust bookshelves -they're horrendous, I think they get done twice a year (just before parents arrive )

You are all doing brilliantly!

Afternoon all!

Have had an incredibly busy weekend, including a 200 mile round trip with DS1 who has been picked to play in the county academy football team and had his first (away) match yesterday. My house now looks like a bomb has hit it. I had a really stressful morning in work too, which I was far too tired to deal with. So now I'm sitting down to have some lunch and focusing on the bare minimum that I need to do to get the house looking OK again. I will look at the week's plans later, first I need to get back on top of the basics.

Ta Da
Lots and lots of washing washed and pegged out on the line

To Do
More washing - wash and peg out
Wash dishes
Tidy living room
Dust living room
Hoover living room
Tidy kitchen
Wipe down kitchen surfaces
Sweep kitchen floor
Clean downstairs toilet
Clean bathroom
Ironing mountain
Put washing away
Clean out fridge ready for Tesco delivery tonight

Positive thinking, I will get there eventually.

CBT therapy too stressful. B'day lunch cancelled. Ah well .

Collected DS2 from school and he was pale and wheezing. He had told the teacher he felt very ill, but she just gave him a drink of water. Why didn't they ring me? I feel so guilty at sending him in now. He has needed his inhaler three times since he came home. He didn't even want any leftover birthday cake .

Am keeping him company on the sofa whilst I do the week's shopping order online. Have started using mysupermarket.com - I saved £54 by using it last week .

Well done to your DS, Jemima, but sorry it involves so much driving for you. Makes me feel very relieved my DC are so hopeless at football!

Engels - sorry to hear about your sister. And I hope your DH feels better soon.

Swan - the homework situation sounds a bit like a Mitchell & Webb sketch . At least you are retaining your sense of humour. Good to hear that the school are supporting your DS2.

Goth - last week, my cleaner tackled some high-up shelves that I never touch (nobody sees them anyway). Apparently, they were thick with dust .

Blue - if the project is inspiring, you should feel the fear and do it anyway!

Doesn't sound as though you are having a good day Toffee

Ta Da
Lots and lots and lots of washing washed and pegged out on the line
Lots and lots and lots of washing brought back in, most of it not actually dry
Tumble dryer put on
Washed dishes
Tidied living room
Dusted living room
Hoovered living room
Tidied kitchen
Wiped down kitchen surfaces
Swept kitchen floor
Cleaned downstairs toilet
Collected DC from school
Supervised homework that didn't get done over the weekend
Tackled half of ironing mountain
Cooked dinner

To Do
Clean bathroom
Put washing away
Clean out fridge ready for Tesco delivery tonight
Tackle rest of ironing
Take DD to Brownies

Lots of useful tips on this thread. My favourite is to leave a 'Get Well Soon' card on your mantlepiece so that people think you've been ill and that's why your house is less than perfect!

Not a great day, no, Jemima. And have caught DS2's cold . And am very grumpy because it's that time of the month again and everyone is being soooooo annoying . DH is keeping well away from me at the moment and I don't blame him, to be honest.

Blimey, am exhausted just reading through your list! You are on a roll.

Toffee - could it be that DS1 has just done too much at once being as he has felt "better" and overloaded himself? Hopefully it's just a blip and he will continue to progress.

DD's toys are still unsorted . Over the weekend all I did was a load of washing and some ironing so today I have:

• Got shopping in for the week (must write down the meal plans before I forget!)
• S/S x 4
• Hoovered lounge, dining and hall
• Swept kitchen floor
• Tidied lounge and distributed the collected bits and pieces in other rooms!
• Emptied D/W and rewashed the bits it hadn't cleaned (namely the pots DH put in there so he didn't have to wash them himself!)

I feel I wasn't very supporting of DH's work situation on Saturday. He was huffing and puffing and generally giving off vibes that he was despondent as he checked job websites and when he asked me what he should do regarding work I'm afraid I said to him that a lot of people have cr*ppy jobs they don't enjoy!

Yes, dizzy, I think you're right. Also, he has school looming and maybe now it's becoming a reality, he's feeling less confident about it.

dizzy - sounds like you've been incredibly busy Flying. What you said to DH is absolutely true, of course, though maybe wasn't what he wanted to hear. Might have been necessary though.

Have put DS2 to bed because he was in tears on the sofa. He has gone straight to sleep. Why did I send him to bloody school today? If I'd listened to my instincts, I would have kept him at home. Poor little boy. Feeling like a crap mum now.

DS2 awake, cheery and watching 'Dr Who' with DH .

Am having a delivery from Asda tomorrow. Oh, the humiliation. (It used to be Ocado ).

DH has poured me a glass of chilled white wine. Am feeling much warmer towards the world at large now.

oh dear, ds2 not having a good time at school . Again it is homework homework homework that gets him everytime. Lessons and place are fine otherwise. Although in between screaming about assorted things it turns out the child who cannot write has joined Creative Writing Club [gulp] He says it is the quickest way to get a few merits.

Toffee I've looked up Mitchell and Webb, it is toe curling...

I've come to conclusion that all institutional life has an insidious effect on family life and enjoyment thereof, even if institutional life is fun in itself.

done
supper
homework - ds2 did it himself mostly
picked up ds2, kept waiting 25 mins because he had a detention for his Maths and got lost afterwards (no mobiles in school was rung by Welfare on way home, thinking he had made his way home and forgotten I was picking him up, to be told he was tearily waiting for me. Home an hour later than usual!!! Bah..no wonder we don't get homework done...
Had fruitful conversation with RE teacher however, and ds1's violin teacher who I happened to bump into in playground.

Dd is now being foul because she is overtired, has sore throat, cannot miss school because she is in choir, and hates ds2 screaming.

feeling thoroughly fed up with all these dramas.