How does one clean cheap, shitty lino??

[FetchezLaVache]

Hi all, inspired by a certain thread earlier this week I've decided to try to be marginally less slatternly, and I have a question for all devotees of a clean floor. I live in a rented house and it comes fitted with the cheapest, shittiest lino I have ever seen. It takes hours to clean! It's like it's fucking porous or something. Mop's no use at all. You have to get down on your knees and scrub back-breakingly away at it and the water more or less sinks into it, miraculously leaving the dirt clinging to the surface, and then it's damp for the next three hours. Not like the lovely tiled kitchen floor I had in the former marital home, which came up so beautifully I could be arsed to do it at least once a week. Just the thought of tackling this bastard makes me come over a bit apathetic, tbh.

Is there any product or technique that would make washing my kitchen floors a bit less like hard work??

do you mean vinyl?

has it got a texture or pattern that holds dirt? You have to mop it with flash or something, then sponge or suck up the dirty water before it can settle. A wet vac will do it if you have one.

a wet mop, used frequently, will also do it. You need a mop bucket to squeeze out the dirty water or the dirt will be redeposited.

Erm, it could be vinyl, I'm not really sure.

It hasn't got a pattern, but yes, it holds dirt. Just mopping doesn't shift it, you have to really get your back into it.

Mmmm- I'm wondering about a wet vac now. That sounds suitably no-effort!

Soda crystals? I find a fairly strong solution dissolves the dirt in the tiny texture dimple things on our lino. It's not quick or easy though (hence I don't do it very often!) I have to use a scrubbing brush and then wipe up the excess water immediately.

What do you use to wipe it up, Prof?

I've used Cillit Bang on ours (think it's the degreaser), also Fairy Power Spray is pretty brilliant at shifting dirt and stains. We also live in a rental and the lino clearly hadn't been cleaned in a long time, these work well. I usually spray the floor first with the Fairy or Cillit, leave it a couple of minutes whilst I fill the bucket with hot water and Flash, and then scrub with the Vileda sponge mop (much better than a mop with stringy bits ime).

However I've not come across lino that is truly gleaming, it msy never look as good as a tiled or wooden floor

I would scrub it down - soda crystals will work but any detergent will be good with a scrubbing brush.

Once it is clean and dry you can seal it with something like Klearshine . Its the sort of thing that does build up and need to be removed eventually but as you are renting and may not stay long you might not be overly concerned about that.

Proper Lino is not cheap so I suspect these are vinyl floors. They may have been damaged by people using harsh cleaning stuff on them in the past so will never look truly clean and shiny

Adding soda crystals and Klearshine to my shopping list! I think you're right that this is vinyl- it's shite. I'm the first person to have lived here and it's brand new, but it still looks shite. It will have to be replaced when I leave as my friend ripped it slightly when putting my washing machine in, so not bothered about any build-up.

I have a load of floor cloths made from old chopped up towels. I scrub to lift the dirt then wipe it dry(ish!) with a cloth. It's a right old pita!

with Klear polishes, you have to get it absolutely perfectly clean first, otherwise you will be sealing the dirt it.

Thanks all- you've inspired me! It may have taken all morning (the crappy flooring extends from the kitchen into the rear hallway and thence into the downstairs bathroom), but the bastard floor is now CLEAN! I'm going to make the effort to keep it that way- reckon that Klear stuff has to be the way forward.