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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Totally overwhelmed with this messy dirty house

42 replies

goodmum123 · 01/08/2013 19:04

Feeling really sorry for myself. House is a tip.Crap piled up everywhere. Two year old, dog and husband adding to it. I never finish a job, I start, get annoyed then just leave it and it all piles up again.
I keep the toilet clean but everything else is dusty and dirty.
Picture the scene, pictures still not hung after three years, bags of stuff, papers that need filing. Dirty mugs all over, stuff just piled in every room, tea bags muliplyjng, crumbs on table that are never wiped up.
Sorry it sounds grim and lazy but I work almost full time and just feel so down.
I've tried all the one room at a time, thriwing out junk, flylady,but cannot bear any of that now. I've just calmly said to my husband that we'll just live like this then and ill stop getting so bloody down about it. I could cry or kick off big time, I just hate being 'home' . I feel like throwing it into big boxes and setting fire to it (not indoors).
When I know friends are coming i end up getting up at five to clean as best I can, run atound like a headless chicken, throw crap into boxes and pile it up into other unseen rooms (again adding to more crap everywhere)
Be gentle, things are shit, anyone else like this?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 01/08/2013 19:05

Why is it just down to you? Does your husband not do his bit? Cleaning and tidying takes much less time when you both get stuck in and into a routine.

Hassled · 01/08/2013 19:09

You work full time and you have a 2 year old, a messy DH and a dog. It's going to be messy and you won't be able to resolve it as part of your standard routine, IYSWIM. And don't beat yourself up about it - just getting to the end of a day is enough of an achievement, really. But once it is sorted it will be easy to maintain.

Is there any way you and your DH could both take say 2 or 3 days off work together, keep whatever childcare you have for your toddler, and go through it together, a room at a time? That's probably all that it needs - the time and focus to get it sorted.

jelliebelly · 01/08/2013 19:23

You will never get it sorted as part of a routine - given the state you describe you need to make time for a real blitz and then make sure the routine kicks in to stop it piling up again. Can you and/or dh take a couple of days off work or get a babysitter for a weekend?

specialsubject · 01/08/2013 19:47

this is beyond messy and is a health hazard. Why is your husband making it worse rather than pulling his weight? Isn't he bothered?

lose the unnecessary blubber, the dog and your husband If there is n time to keep on top of this you certainly don't have time to look after a dog.

TBH, take the bags of known crap straight to the tip. You don't have time for ebay and freecycle by the sounds of it.

alternatively, I and many other MNers are just itching to come round - pity it doesn't work like that!

RightsaidFreud · 01/08/2013 19:47

It can be very overwhelming to start when you feel like its hopeless. But it's not, like hassled said, it needs some time and focus. Start small. Clean the mugs and put them away.

makemineapinot · 01/08/2013 19:50

As others have said just blitz it now and then see if you can afford a cleaner - may mean cutting down on other things but it would help you get into a better routine.

Original poster
goodmum123 · 01/08/2013 20:34

Thank you, I know I need a kick up the arse. Husband is lovely and wonderful, just messy like me. Wish some of you lived near to come and get me sorted out. I ll get there I know but just a little low at the moment x

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 01/08/2013 20:37

We jump up at some advert breaks, one makes cup of tea, other does a 2 min shuffle, empty bins, move stuff etc.

Also when we go to bed we try and take something that doesn't belong in that room to the right room. Over time it makes a difference.

Frontdoorstep · 01/08/2013 21:07

I wouldn't set fire to anything, but throwing your stuff into big boxes is a great idea, I would then take the boxes to the local rubbish dump.

spongebobscardypants · 01/08/2013 22:21

Goodmum, you aren't the only one in this position. I suggest wiping tables every other day and moving as much stuff into to the rooms it belongs. You can go from there spend 10 mins at a time. Once your clutter is under control you can easily make a good routine of wiping skirtings, sides and sills!

poocatcherchampion · 02/08/2013 08:56

if our house gets like this I figure that the everyday jobs will get done so if I have 5 mins I do something else - eg hang a picture etc. otherwise you are forever washing but never sorting out a bag of crap. I don't know if it is counter intuitive but seems to work here.

Original poster
goodmum123 · 02/08/2013 10:45

Thank you so much for all your support. I have today off and I'm toddler free. I have started by organising my airing cupboard (strange start I know) but towels have been piling up.
I went and got loads of large boxes. I have labelled them by each room. I'm going to go into each room and anything I don't use or need or like will go in. I'm not ready just to chuck things in a skip yet so I'm going to pile said boxes in the garage and go through at leisure. At least the house will be clear of clutter.
As well as that I'm feeling more positive which is more important.
Does this sound like a good start?

OP posts:
dreamingofsun · 02/08/2013 11:01

could you afford a cleaner. we have one for 4 hours a week and this makes an immense difference to the sate of a 5 bed house. you may be able to get away with less hours as there are less of you than us.

PoshPenny · 04/08/2013 17:50

Sounds an excellent start to me goodmum. What about setting yourself a further goal that if you haven't needed to go and get anything out of those boxes in say 3 or 6 months, then they can go to the tip?

YoungBritishPissArtist · 04/08/2013 18:20

You're off to a good start, goodmum!

With other rooms, you could set a timer for 10 mins, wizz round with a bin liner, finding stuff to chuck Grin

Original poster
goodmum123 · 05/08/2013 12:13

Thank you. Yes I have now set up a cleaning rota too so slowly but surely things are improving. I vacuumed upstairs a d it is looking better. Just more clutter to sort. Thanks for your support x

OP posts:
Vivacia · 05/08/2013 12:29

Well done goodmum! I do admire you. I have a friend I would love to support in sprucing up her home, but she's just not there yet.

Original poster
goodmum123 · 05/08/2013 17:35

Thank you everyone, you really are keeping me going. It will take a longtime but it will get done x

OP posts:
YoungBritishPissArtist · 05/08/2013 19:38

Keep going, goodwife!

You've inspired me, I braved the rain earlier and took two big bags to the charity shop Grin

YoungBritishPissArtist · 05/08/2013 19:39

*goodmum Blush I'm sure you're a good wife too!

Hamwidgeandcheps · 05/08/2013 20:22

Make some changes. For example; if the tea bags are piling up get a little dish to put them in. I have cheap ramekins for mine but several. When they are full they have to be emptied before I can boil the kettle again.

I got v overwhelmed a few months back. Then I got v v strict abut things and my family have to follow suit. For example what's kept in the living room is v minimal - I want it uncluttered and easy to keep clean. Dds are not allowed to take toys in there (we have a playroom though). The living room is for sitting in to watch tv or talk to guests.

The rest I just do a bit at a time when I can. Dds are in the bath now so I have a little tidy in the bathroom then when I take dd2 out I will have a tidy of the kids bedroom bbegore they go to bed.
I did/do flylady but it took a while to get going. The v best bit on it is 'you can do anything for 15 minutes' I live by that wrt housework. I am a lone parent so I do struggle often. Good luck Grin

Jesstryinghard · 05/08/2013 21:54

I just want you to know I'm in a similar situation so don't feel bad .. And I don't have a messy husband to blame
It on !! I want to get rid of so much stuff but can't afford a skip and can't get to the dump :((

Original poster
goodmum123 · 05/08/2013 23:03

Ok
Jesstryinghard do it with me.
I'm literally doing a little at a time. I have huge boxes around the house for stuff to store away, then a recycling bag and a rubbish bag.
Every time I leave a room I take something with me to its correct place (or at least to its correct room) and believe me things are happening. Then if I don't know where it belongs I pop it into the storage box (have now filled three!!)
I even cleaned the sink whilst brushing my teeth as I haven't got the time to do this sort of stuff normally so I'm going to do two or three jobs at once.
What do you say? X

OP posts:
Original poster
goodmum123 · 05/08/2013 23:04

Also thanks to others . I try to be a good wife most of the time ;-) x

OP posts:
tootssweet · 05/08/2013 23:22

Jess, Goodmum - can I join too? I am in a very similar state & it is really getting me down. I did manage some of the kitchen today but there's so much clutter. Sad Some days I really feel like I'm drowning. Our house feels too small for all of us but it is in too grim a state to sell.