How do you & your dh or dp share the chores?

[Jemster]

I posted recently about how I'm struggling to cope with everything, work, home, 2 small dc etc. Had some lovely helpful advice which I am hoping to use.

I just wondered how you share the chores, housework, shopping, cooking etc with your dh's or dp's as I think it would help if we had things a bit clearer in our house as to who does what. We both work, him full time and me part time but still every day and we are both shattered most of the time with teething 14 month old! Thanks

I think it's very important to keep the chores demarcated - so that things don't fall through the net.

Me

1. All shopping for everything. Food, clothes, shoes
2. All cooking
3. Some general cleaning and tidying up
4. School runs on Mondays and Fridays
5. Recycling
6. The garden
7. All the academic stuff with schools (homework and homework diaries)

DH

1. All bills and utilities and cash management
2. All laundry - 8 loads a week
3. School runs on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays
4. All washing up
5. Putting the bins out
6. The cats
7. Some general cleaning and tidying up

The cleaning lady

1. Changing all beds
2. Cleaning the house top to bottom

We are lucky that all the jobs I hate doing he is good at and vice versa.

Me:

All cooking
Most of the washing
Changing the bed
Anything organisation that involves a computer (DP is a technaphobe!)

Him:

Hoovering
Most of the dog walks
Hoovering
Cleaning the kitchen
DIY type things
All Driving

We split other things like washing the dishes evenly.

That's very interesting Wuldric thank you and very clear. I do wonder how well we would both stick to our designated chores and will we get irritated with each other if we don't each do what we're meant to! Both of us are terrible at procrastinating and putting things off. I am desperate for more structure and routine in this house though as the stress caused by the disorganisation is starting to cause a strain on our relationship.

We also have pretty clearly allotted tasks. I think at some point we did sit down and agree it more formally as we were both getting fed up with supposed inequalities. Here's how we do it:

Me
. Paperwork and financials
. Cooking and meal planning
. All shopping - food and DC clothes
. Some ironing (mostly my work dresses or tops that frighten DH)
. Drop off DC
. General family life organising/diary upkeep/planning

DH
. All cleaning (except kitchen)
. All floors (including kitchen)
. All washing
. Most ironing
. Pick up DC
. Bins
. Weekly clean of cat loo/litter change

Both
. General tidying
. Wiping down shower if last to use
. Emptying cat loo as and when needed
. Loading/unloading dish washer
. Washing up stuff that doesn't go in dish washer
. DIY and car maintenance

DH normally does the cleaning on Saturday morning while I take DC food shopping.

Should add that we both work full time in similar jobs. Depending on our agendas we might swap dropping off and picking up DC.

Me
All food , present , clothes shopping
Most yukky household chores ( cleaning both toilets , baths , sinks , )
General household cleaning and mopping
Sorts out appointments and things to go in the diaries like parties and days out etc

Him
Pays the majority of the bills
Hoovers through the house once a week
Changes all bedding
Empties bins and put the bins out bin days
Feeds the children 3 night a week when I work
Does the majority of driving if we go out as a family

I'm sahm, so I am responsible for most stuff, but DH does his own ironing, sorting of packed lunch/buying lunch and cooks his own meal if he's getting in late and I'm not making anything. I expect him to tidy up after himself and help with anything if I ask. He also does garden and puts bins out. He often works away, irregularly, so it's simpler for me to be in charge of the house.

If I wohm I would want him to wash upand tidy kitchen if I'd cooked, do laundry and Hoover and possibly clean the bathroom too. Perhaps we'd split tasks rather than doling out entire tasks, it would depend hat our working situation was.

At the minute I am main breadwinner and work much longer hours so DH does quite a bit more in the house.

Me: half the cooking
All planning of what is cooked/bought each week (I meal plan obsessively!)
Most of the tidying - DH is very clean but scatty and doesn't "see" mess
hoovering
half the dishes

Him: half the cooking
putting out bins/recycling
laundry, hanging out laundry
loos/bathroom cleaning
half the dishes
mopping kitchen/bathroom floor
all technical stuff to to with setting up/fixing TV/computers/broken internet
changing bedlinen

DH does
garden
clean bathroom / toilet
bins
car stuff
driving to evening activities
some laundry
ironing his own clothes

I do
cooking
hoovering and clean kitchen
good shopping most of the time
school runs when not working (grandparents do when I am)
most laundry
ironing my own clothes

Other jobs we take in turns I.e.
washing up / loading dishwasher
children's shower time

He does bath time for the youngest but he's showering more so that will phase out

Bedtime reading is shared depending on whether I still need to cook or one of us has work to do or going out

The main bone of contention is laundry - if I do it I wash, hang out, put away but DH often forgets that it's not over once you've stuck the machine on.

DH and I both have roughly the same standards and so can quite happily ignore mess when other life gets in the way.

We both have fallen into the habit of doing different jobs but I wouldn't say we each have our own jobs as each of us is capable of doing the other ones if necessary.

Generally,

Me
Cooking
Food shopping
Washing
Dusting
Most ironing
Organising the family diary

Him
Anything outside
Litter trays
Clearing up after dinner
Floors

Both
Everything else as necessary and depending on tiredness.