Cannot cope with all the housework! How do you manage with full time work and kids?

[PolyesterBride]

Really stressed all the time about all the housework I have to do. I work full time, have two DDs (5 and 2 ) and I am responsible for literally everything. I am not a single parent but for work reasons my partner does nothing. It's supposed to be temporary until summer but I just cannot seem to manage even the bare minimum at the moment.

DDs are in childcare full time so I feel under pressure to spend time with them at weekends (and I want to) but I feel like with all the cooking, washing etc i gave no time to spend with them at all. DD1 is constantly asking me to play with her but all I say is 'in a minute' or 'a bit later'. And they are good at playing alone, it's not like they are dependent on me or anything.

I don't do anything that isn't absolutely necessary and by that I mean, I don't clean except immediate things like clean the kitchen after dinner. Almost never do the hoovering or dusting for example. I try to cook quick meals but I'm not very good at cooking and I don't want to feed the girls processed stuff all of the time. But just basic washing, cooking, tidying up after meals and tidying up toys seems to take all day.

Sorry for this long pointless vent. What I want to know is - how do other people manage? Can you do sll the household stuff and play with your children? What is your routine (I have none and am frequently searching the house for clean underwear and running out of milk).

I do meal plan and online shopping. I can't afford a cleaner (and it wouldn't save me time anyway because I don't clean).

Just stressed and depressed about the state of my house and the lack of time for my kids. Help!

As tough as it can be, I make a point of getting up 30 mins earlier than needed in the morning. I get up, put clothes away, put new load in machine on timer to be ready when I get back in the evening, empty dishwasher, set oven for say jacket potatoes or get the nights dinner out of the freezer (pre prepared from batch cooking on the weekend), then EITHER clean bathroom, or Hoover and dust. That's all done in 30 mins.

Then in the evening, I hang out washing, make dinner, deal with paperwork, fill dishwasher and clean kitchen, again in 30 mins.

My DH is out from 530am til 9pm so it's mainly up to me although I work FT too. We share everything on the weekend. It's tough but can be done if you're strict about it! Oh and I find a big glass of wine helps the evening. 30 mins burst!!!

What works for me:

1. I'm organized
2. I plan everything
3. I know how long each task takes
4. I put things away right away
5. I keep weekday meals simple

I got rid of our cleaner to save money (plus they broke an expensive lamp). We clean the house really well on Saturday mornings. I break the house down into 'areas', ie our bathroom and bedroom is one area, dining & living room is one, etc. Then I write on a piece of paper each thing that needs to be done in each area. I reuse these charts. This seems to take the guess work out of cleaning and make it go quicker. You can also do just one area and do another one later.

During the week I just maintain. Dishes get washed and rinsed in very hot water right after dinner which means they also dry off very quickly. While they're drying I spray and wipe the counters, sweep floor if needed, bag up rubbish to take out. By this time the dishes are dry and can be put away.

I know how long each task takes, so if I have ten minutes I can make the bed, spray and wipe bathroom counter, and fill up washing machine. When DsS in the bath I get his clean clothes out for the next morning and put clean laundry away. I have a plastic basket with holes in it for his bath toys. Soon as he's out the bath I rinse the tub and toys, stick toys back in basket and basket goes on bottom of tub.

We have a similar basket in the hallway for shoes and another for the dog's toys. Toys are kept in two places only- the cupboard in kid's room and a wicker basket with a lid in the living room. Toys always get put away right after playing. And crappy tat from McDonalds mysteriously disapears at night.

I keep some bathroom spray and a sponge in the bathroom for quick wipe ups. I'm also pretty ruthless and throw out junk. I don't buy magazines or newspapers which just create more mess.

Since I don't have much time to deal with laundry during the week I make sure we have lots of extra socks, tights, and underwear. I never buy just one deodorant/toothpaste if I'm running low, I always get 2 or 3 meaning I don't have to do a crazy last minute dash to the shops.

Midweek dinners are simple. Frozen ravioli and sauce from Aldi with a bag of salad and yoghurt or fresh fruit for pudding. Another night's cold cut sandwiches with potato salad. Precooked chicken can go on top of salad, pasta or a frozen pizza.

I also lable things. Each drawer has a lable on it (ie Honey's jeans and tops, DH's socks, etc) which makes putting stuff away a breeze. We kept misplacing and mixing up remote controls until I labled them. I use a waterproof pen to mark initials on the inside of socks because I couldn't tell them apart. I colour code towels- 16 year old stepdaughter has white ones, DH and I red ones, DsS has blue, and dogs have old towels with 'Dog' written on them in marker.

When I need to organize a room I do it one drawer or shelf at a time. I can find 5 minutes to sort out a messy drawer and get back to the rest later.

When I get bogged down and am in a can't be arsed mood with cleaning, I just do the bare minimum i.e. clean toilets, clean kitchen floor, quick hoover/dust front room. I can do that in half hr one a week and the world doesn't implode. Kitchen surfaces are wiped down twice a day anyway and we have a dishwasher (man-job in our house). Nobody has died of unclean (yet!).

In small-son days we had an old metal trunk which all toys got chucked into which took 5 mins.

I had flu recently and my son/husband looked after me well but the above basics didn't get done for a fortnight. I wouldn't have wanted anyone over for the embarrassment, but again, nobody dies of embarrassment. Do what you feel you can and don't worry about the rest.

• don't iron (useless timewasting exercise)
• lower your standards, not everything needs to be spotless all the time
• keeps rooms tidy, much less overwhelming and quicker to tidy/clean
• get a dishwasher
• dc can do simple tasks like putting laundry away, tidying

I always think that if ironing were to be invented today, no one would think it was a good idea. Pressing your clothes with a dangerously hot piece if metal on a rickety board? No thank you!

Does your washing machine have a timer on it? Can you set it to start early morning then get up as its done and hang out before you go to work?

Forget the hanging up, drying, taking down bit of the laundry, and get yourself a dryer.

Then ask yourself if you really need to do a wash every day. If so, a dryer will really help. If no then you still have a dryer to use three times a week or whatever. It will save you a lot of time and you will find if you get things hot from the dryer you may not need to iron. (Cut down on ironing btw -- don't iron the DCs' things for instance).

Get a dishwasher too.

Buy paper plates for use one or two nights a week.

Cook according to a rota --
Small roast on Sunday
Leftovers Tuesday
Spaghetti and meatballs Wednesday
Same Thursday but with breadrolls instead of spaghetti
Friday is junk food night - open tins or a frozen packet, use a bag of salad
Saturday is breakfast for dinner night

Wednesday and Thursday you can be creative (do a stir fry or use the crockpot) but only cook on Wednesday.

You shouldn't cook more than three/four times per week. The rest of the time you can reheat.

And YYY to cleaner once a fortnight to deep clean the bathroom and kitchen and do a really good hoovering.

Yes yes to a cleaner. It means you can just forget the sponges, sprays, Hoover etc.

My DDs are both small and I keep their clothes REALLY simple. They have three big baskets containing (a) bodysuits, (b) trousers/leggings and (c) tops and jumpers. Every morning just grab one item from each basket for each of them and get dressed. It's all nice bright stripes and spots from H&M.

I just found that if you're trying to get a dress, then you need tights, or trying to match a cardigan or whatever is such a hassle. (We do have a few nice items like dresses and flowery hair bands that live in a separate cupboard and only come up occasionally). I guess your older DC is in school uniform, but could you do a similar "uniform" for your 2 year old?

PS it IS hard. Working FT plus running house is tough. Don't beat yourself up too much. Your children don't mind AT ALL if they eat pasta pesto every night and don't have a bath once in a while. I work FT and we are always winging it!