The minimalist quiche

[educatingarti]

This is a new thread to replace the minimalist journey one which is nearly full!

MrsPennyapple, ah, the curse of buying stuff to make the place seem more like home! It's taken me a while to learn that what makes a place feel like home is actually living in it, and that takes a wee while - no shortcuts at Ikea or the knickknack shop!

issimma, I think if you're going to use all the notebooks within a reasonable time, then it's probably fine to keep them, but if you're just holding onto them because 'they're bound to be used eventually', then I'd get rid unless they're really pretty.

harriet, sorry about the tax shock (if that doesn't sound too tabloidy). Had a similar situation about eight years ago, because I was a total idiot and it was the first year I'd earned enough to actually pay taxes, and I remember the fainting feeling and cold panic when I found out how much I actually owed!

'My attitude towards the stuff is that it moves THROUGH our lives, use it and enjoy it while it is useful and then pass in on when it isn't. If you hang on to all your old 'stuff', both physically and emotionally, you don't have room for new. Acquisition isn't the goal, having an enjoyed life is.'

wendybird77 that is such a great post. I totally agree with you (but could apply it better to my own life).

antoinette the rule of thumb is to keep paperwork for up to seven years - this is the standard for tax and medical records. After that I keep things like the Land Registry entry and basic contract. You don't need to keep every letter about every change to the mortgage rate of T&Cs as I've done in the past. When I went through my paperwork recently I got rid of about three bags for life's worth of old paperwork (I have buy to lets).

Hello again minimalistmommi! You're an inspiration!

Tell me, people, are your families on board the minimalist boat, as it were? Or are you rowing alone? (Forgive the metaphor. Head addled by tax and 'chocolate' jammie dodgers). I'd love to know how you've got children in particular to love less stuff.

(Sorry if you get 2 posts from me. Weird stuff going on with my mac).

Hey minimalistmommi! That's so impressive! I'm wondering what the layout is of your new place? We have 575 sq ft here, and the bedroom is much bigger than it needs to be (could probably split into 2 rooms), but if we had another DC, I could see it feeling quite snug. Will your DCs share a room? What age are they?

My DP is minimalist in that all he seems to own is DVDs (loads, but v few moving here with him), clothes (not many) and toiletries.

DD is letting go of things -more when she can see they are going to a good home. She was a bit sad when a magazine she left at the dentists wasnt there two days later. NOt sure if they didnt put it out or if someone took it home. I suggested the latter and she was happy enough. If I have more DC, Ill be more form about what comes into the house. Being a childminder brought a lot of excess toys in and DD is gradually allowing them to leave the house. Im letting her process it rather than force it.

at Harriet thank you it's taken we'll over two years of on and off hard work to get to this point!

Bab the layout is quite good, we have two small reception rooms downstairs, living room and dining room (the front door goes directly into living room).

Going off the dining room is a small galley kitchen. There's a back door there that goes out into tiny courtyard garden.

In between living room and dining room there is flight of stairs. Upstairs there is the front 'master' bedroom and next to that is the slightly smaller room overlooking the courtyard garden (on the details they were both called double rooms, but they are smallish)

At the very back of the house, directly above galley kitchen is tiny bathroom, but it does fit a bath tub with shower overhead it. The house we looked at previously didn't have a bath tub just shower so we see this as our luxury!

So yes, our girls are sharing, which they haven't done before so I'm expecting teething problems. They're four and seven. People always ask us if we will 'upsize' in the future, we don't see ourselves 'upsizing' unless we really have too.

Bab what's your layout?

Minimalist blog links for anyone that's interested:
www.everydayminimalist.com/?page_id=3032

Thanks Queen. It's so tempting to either keep it all or chuck it all but I think I need to be a bit more discerning so I'll go through it this weekend I think.

Anyone who's done the scanning photos thing-do they look good on the computer or do they look 'scanned' iyswim? We've just invested in a printer (was feeling guilty about sneakily printing stuff at work ) and it has the ability to scan so I'm thinking I should get on with that job as we've got boxes and boxes of photos, but I'm worried they'll look rubbish on screen.

Wow its impossible to keep up with all the messages on this thread, Im still not through the other one lol!!
I started my decluttering about 2 weeks ago properly, up to then I had maybe 4 black bags of clothes lurking in a spare room for the charity shop, then sat before last I just said right, Im doing something about it!!! So got stuck in that wkend then ended up off work most of last week with sick ds, so did lots then and I plan to do more this wkend, Ive been doing a bit every evening this week too... Im finding as well as anything else that its motivating me to do the housework I usually avoid like the plague, eg clothes washing, as Ive less clothes in the wardrobe it seems like less of a task, and if Im wearing something and see my reflection during the day and it looks like its had better days or just does not fit (half my wardrobe until now lol) then I take it off that evening and straight into the bin or washing for charity shop if its in an ok state!
Everyone is doing so much, well done to us all :D

Hello MM, nice to "see" you again. I am in awe of your ten boxes.

Three massive items to the skip today and another two bags for the charity shop so I am getting there slowly. A little too slowly for my liking, but there just never seems to be enough time in the day.

Three big bags to clothes bank today, also selection of broken glasses kept meaning to deal with.

Lovely to hear from everyone.

I spent half an hour moving toys out of ds2's room in prep for the big room shuffle. I thought he didn't have many toys. I was so wrong! He just has a big bedroom all to himself so it didn't look all that cluttered! How did this happen?!

When we move the boys into their new shared room, I want to be really judicious about what toys and books go back in there. I might do an experiment and keep all the toys that don't get played with under the spare bed for 6 months and see if the boys notice... I feel they're too old now for me to whip stuff away without consultation. Maybe I'll talk to ds1 about the ideas in Simplicity Parenting and make the experiment one that he's involved with.

Hope you all have a restful night!

Morning all. DH is coming home early tonight so we can tackle some more of the basement together. Without this thread I know that our enthusiasm for dealing with all our crap would have waned two weeks (at most) after starting. But here we are six weeks later, still ploughing on!

Harriete - I think that involving the kids in it is a great idea. Perhaps also involving them in designing the room would be a good idea too. Just thinking if they help plan the layout and the storage and decor then they are more likely to understand and agree that only so much will fit on / in that storage. Also culling toys that they are 'too old for' may also help?

When we moved I did the same and put most of the toys into the playroom. In DS1s room he has a bed (new truck bed!!!) a small wardrobe, bookcase, rocking chair and a car mat and a basket of cars. It is very easy for him to keep tidy himself and he LOVES his new room, insists on showing it to anyone who comes to the house (delivery men, builders, plumbers, etc). But he's only 3, so I can still declutter things away without consultation - may be more difficult with older ones.

I read on a forum ages ago a woman who had 5 kids sharing 1 room. She said that in their house everyone's bed was sacred and you were not allowed to touch anyone elses bed or anything on the bed without the owners permission. It was each child's personal space and toys they didn't want to share, etc went on the bed (I think they were beds with storage). She said it worked well for them and I've often thought that if/when mine start sharing a room I would also implement this as each then has private space as well as the benefits of room sharing. Having said that, given DS1's sleeping we may never get to a point where ours can share from a practical getting enough sleep standpoint.

Hello Pixie!

I'm enjoying the talk of shared bedroom spaces, I'm taking all the tips on board.

Today I'm focusing on washing as I'm not sure how quick DH will get washing machine plumbed in. I am planning on looking out for stuff to declutter while I'm getting through lots of washing and drying (bedding, clothes, etc)

harriet I think your experiment sounds like a really good idea. Let us know how you all get on.

Thanks for the suggestions and encouragement re the boys' sharing & keeping their stuff to a minimum.

I craved private space when I shared a room with my sister so I want to make sure I build that in for the boys, especially for ds1 (he's 10). It is a big bedroom, so hopefully that shouldn't be too hard. I love room planning a bit too much.

Just been packing my foodstuff's up and seriously thinking about not doing the buy two and save X amount. I don't think it's worth it to me to store the extra dried goods when we will have a small kitchen.

Morning all! I love reading this thread, you guys are such an inspiration. Love what you wrote about letting stuff "move THROUGH" our lives wendybird77 - I totally agree. It's about flow, just letting everything move forward, letting go of the past. Has anyone ready this week's post on Slow Your Home about Legacy? I thought it was one of the best I've read in ages, really thought-provoking.

Really interesting to read about bedroom planning - DS is an only, but because we've been thinking about decor for our new flat and doing lots of moodboards, I've come across some gorgeous photos of shared kids bedrooms - try here

DS is pretty good about decluttering his own stuff. When we do a car boot sale we bring two fold out tables - one trestle for us to sell our stuff and a small table for DS to sell his. He has a bum bag for his change and he's quite the little salesman The money he gets for his stuff he can keep and he usually chooses to spend it on one 'nice' thing instead of the piles of tat that he sold. The process has made him quite relaxed about stuff going. The only thing I have to be a bit sneaky about are his paintings and 'craft projects' (ie a few cereal boxes sellotaped together...).

So my progress this week - gave my old computer to my niece who was totally made up. I got a new one for birthday/christmas combined, but it's taken me this long to transfer my files over. I also took back some computer equipment that my work had leant to me that I wasn't using any more. IT were saying 'But you can keep it to the end of your contract! You don't have to return it now.' But I did, I really did, it was so bulky and cluttering up my desk. They thought I was mad not to keep something valuable for as long as I could. I probably am. I also took a pile of blank or almost unused notebooks that I seem to acquire all the time and left them in the stationery cupboard at the place I'm freelancing at the moment. One of my colleagues came in and said 'Ooh, there are AMAZING notebooks in the cupboard', and they all went over and grabbed them. I didn't tell anyone they were my old ones They all seemed so happy about it. I've just thrown a pile of free magazines and newspapers into the recycling, and put a few glossy magazines out to give to my sister. I think we'll have another mini-blitz this weekend.

But I struggled with my DPs this week. We're giving up our car. DPs originally gave it to us, so we offered to return it to them, or give them the money from selling it. They ummed and ached for months (meaning we've been paying parking, tax and insurance while they made their mind up which in central London is no small beer). Then mum sent me an e-mail saying 'Dad and I have talked and feel really sorry for you giving up the car, so we'll keep it for you at our home'. I said that they are welcome of course to have it - but that they would own it, not us. It would be parked 200 miles from us, so we didn't want to keep paying to tax and insure it, and we wouldn't be using it again. They ummed and ahhed some more and said:

'okay then, we'll pay to tax and insure it and park it and you can keep it at yours'.

I said 'No, we don't want to keep it so please don't tax and insure it just on our account. We're happy to let it go. If you want it, please have it. Otherwise we'll sell it. We can give you the money.'
Mum said: 'Well you can keep it at ours, and we'll pay to tax and insure it, and you can have it back when you want it.'. ... And then Mum said 'There, that's the best offer you'll get this week isn't it!' and was expecting me to be happy.

I felt a bit frustrated. We don't want to own it. We want to get rid. It wouldn't be right for us to sell it, because it was theirs and they want us to return it. But this idea that 'oh, we're keeping it for you'. It's intended to be kind, but it drives me slightly nuts. Because they're keeping something that we have no use for, doing us a favour that isn't actually a favour IYSWIM?

Wow that was a bit of an essay! But I think you guys will understand the frustration in a way that others might not?

bec that does sound incredibly frustrating. It sounds like your dp are trying so hard to be thoughtful but not understanding the underlying point...

And on a much more trivial matter, I've started emptying a fabulously cheering box housing (amongst all sorts of other stuff) a scrapbook I kept in my teens about an actor/director I was obsessed with, and my Paul Young scrapbook, with Live Aid supplement. This stuff is 30 years old. It's really made me smile, but it's passing through...

Great idea re car boot and letting ds have own little stall. He'd be really up for that, I'm sure.

bec it seems like they're really not understanding you and not hearing what you're saying.

Thanks harrietspy and MinimalistMommi - I need to call the DPs later today to confirm when we're bringing the car up to them. I need to just reiterate that we'll bring the documents up to transfer ownership to them, and that they will be free to sell it, give it to someone else or whatever they want. That it will no longer be ours. But I want to stay calm and cheerful throughout. I find it very difficult to deal with not being heard. Ishoos....

Stuff isn't just stuff, is it? When people talk about 'emotional baggage', well sometimes the emotional baggage comes in the form of... actual baggage full of unwanted stuff!

Isn't there anyone they know who could benefit from the car? Maybe someone who struggles to get to work or to find work because of transport issues. They have a chance to really make a difference to someone's life.

When my Mum died we gave her car to her cleaner who was really grateful despite the fact that the sunroof leaked. IIRC she could fit in more hours and still be on time for school pick up.