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Housekeeping

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Original poster

decluttering/selling/not selling, feeling down about it all,advice please

45 replies

penguinplease · 07/12/2012 21:26

Hi, I am really in need of some advice and probably a really big kick up the bum.

My house is a tip and I am so fed up of it, I just can't seem to get it tidy/sorted. Why am I so bad at it?
For example I have lots of stuff that I think I'll sell as it seems such a waste to throw it out but I don't have time to list it anywhere to actually sell it so it is sitting around the house in piles/bags/in the way.

I have 3dcs and they are affected by my mess. My house is clean, I move the mess to clean but I just can't seem to part with anything, its all shit, I know in my heart that I don't need most of it and that I would be happy enough without it but still I struggle. I struggle with my stuff and so they are the same which is really sad.

I am so ashamed that 2 of my children share a bedroom that is so cluttered with stuff - theirs and mine that they actually can sleep in there but nothing else.

I just don't know where to start, every evening I have such optimism and hope that tomorrow will be different and it never is. I'm so fed up and unhappy with the prospect of living in this mess any longer.

Can anyone talk sense into me, surely thinking of selling stuff but not having time means I should just give it away.. or should I sell it?

I just feel like hiring a skip and throwing it all out.
Is there any hope that my house will ever be tidy and comfortable?? I so wanted this Xmas to be different

OP posts:

thatlldopigthatlldo · 09/12/2012 12:16

yes, i've read the book, loaned it to friends, and it's found it's way back. i think even this book needs to go to the charity shop.

Brycie · 09/12/2012 13:56

THANKYOU Penguin for starting this thread. I didn't think I could even begin to think about starting to think about this problem but now I'm going to end the ebay / car boot procrastination and get stuff to charity shops. Life will be so much easier!

I've just been down to the shed to look for the christmas decs and can't find them. Don't we live insane lives with so much stuff.

Thanks Penguin and thanks everyone who gave Penguin good advice. I feel like a burden is lifted from me and I can begin to plan. At the risk of sounding like an utter nutter, it's like the fog is beginning to lift and a sharp breeze is blowing throw my brain. I'm sure you know what I mean!

TryingToBuyAHouse · 09/12/2012 14:48

Brycie you will get obsessed with it, it will feel so, so good letting stuff go and the calm you will feel afterwards. It will probably happen in waves too. You'll rest after each round of decluttering but then carry on.

Bonsoir · 09/12/2012 14:55

You need help. Your clutter is beyond the point at which you can deal with it yourself.

Brycie · 09/12/2012 16:08

Trying - you're right. A lot of it is out of sight in the shed but it is always in the back of my mind, the thing on my list that never gets ticked off and is quietly but persistently rather depressing! I might get my sister in to help me be ruthless. She has a killer eyeroll for when I suggest something might come in useful in the future.

Original poster

penguinplease · 10/12/2012 23:00

Just a little update, wanted to say thank you so much for the kind and helpful replies, all I get from my rl friends is that "it can't be that hard to get it sorted" and from DH just a lot of moaning.

So.. I started on the really awful bedroom at the weekend, my daughter helped and she is ruthless, we bagged up 5 black bags of old clothes, toys, books and rubbish. I also managed to make myself get rid of a lot of my own books for the charity shop. I'm really pleased with our progress but I still have a long way to go.

You are all right about the fact that I should give up on the idea of selling, I use that reason as an excuse not to get rid of stuff, would probably not make very much for it and to be honest I just don't have the time/inclination to do it.

I really wanted to be sorted for Xmas, I have said this every year for the last 8.. this year is the first time I've started doing it so fingers crossed it might not be perfect in the next 2 weeks but hopefully it will look and feel better and probably so will I!

OP posts:

fuzzpig · 11/12/2012 07:34

Wow penguin that's fantastic progress! Well done :)

ClareMarriott · 11/12/2012 09:39

Well done you !!! Happy Christmas !!!!

MegaClutterSlut · 11/12/2012 10:59

Well done op :) I've been decluttering my house for ages but if I'm honest I have been slacking a lot. For me it's like losing weight, if I don't lose a stone over night I give up lol same with decluttering. Remember it will not happen over night so don't put any pressure on yourself.

A lot has of the clutter has gone to charity as I had the intention of selling it but it just sat in bags around the house so I just got rid :) As others have said unless the clutter has any value I would just get rid

educatingarti · 11/12/2012 13:04

Well done Penguin! Did you take the bags to the charity shop? You haven't really got rid of the clutter until it has gone from your home/garden/shed/garage/car boot!

Original poster

penguinplease · 11/12/2012 14:56

Yes! the crucial thing is that is has gone, charity shop, clothing bank, book bank etc and tip for the broken stuff.
Its gone. It already feels great. I still have a lot to do and a long way to go but the world didn't come crashing down after the first lot and it really does feel good to walk into that room and it be tidier. My daughter is the key, she was amazing and very matter of fact about stuff we just didn't need to keep!

Doing more tonight, have selected a tiny amount of stuff that is really still nice to maybe sell but other than that we are working on the basis that the charity shop will make some money and maybe someone who really wants/needs it will find it in there!

OP posts:

educatingarti · 11/12/2012 15:10

Woohoo! Well done!!

buildingmycorestrength · 12/12/2012 11:33

This is a perfect thread for me....people being brave about dealing with clutter! I find it very very happy hard to deal with, lots of emotional baggage here! But I also know it is up to me, and will only get worse if I don't deal with it. Thank you all.

Worst things...any of the kids' stuff, books, stuff from my childhood and adolescence. Husband blind to mess and stuff. Have to try really hard not to be defeated!

But I am more important than my stuff.

espanol · 12/12/2012 11:44

Well done OP on making a start.

A friend just did a 30 bags in 30 days challenge. The idea is that every day you get rid of a bag of stuff from your house. One day it might just be a bag of batteries waiting to be recycled, another it might be books that have been overdue from library for weeks, another might be the old crap from the bottom of the craft drawer going straight to the bin and the next might be a black bag of stuff to charity shop. The Bain thing is that every day one bag leaves your house. If you just bag it and put it by the door it's still clutter and will probably linger.

The idea is you get used to getting rid of stuff but in manageable chunks each day. This might be a way to start or to run alongside bigger clear outs so you are dealing with day to day stuff as well as big poles of crap?

I also agree on the selling. I sold £75 at recent NCT sale. It made enough for one DC Christmas presents, but it was a lot if effort. I just dumped the unsold stuff at the charity shop so I didn't have to sit staring at it! Keep a few big ticket items like prams to sell, but the rest will just sit in your house so better to send to charity shop now.
Another tip is to go room by room - get one looking beautiful and neat as quickly ass possible and it will spur you on to seeing his the rest of the house could look. If you only attack each room a little then you don't see the benefit as quickly.

Once tidy, you will need to address your cluttering tendencies and stay on top if things. I find a bin bag a week where I just go round collecting up crap really helps.

Good luck!

Seabright · 12/12/2012 17:02

I have a little mantra too, which helps keep areas clear - Don't Put It Down, Put It Away.

Sadly I'm the only one in the house who seems to use it (and I'm not 100%) but it helps.

TryingToBuyAHouse · 12/12/2012 17:44

OP, I am so, so happy for you! Well done! Keep revisiting the space that you have started to clear and feel proud of yourself. Your daughter sounds absolutely great. Well done to the both of you.
Remember, try setting a timer, five mins on a junk drawer to find rubbish to be got rid of is better then nothing.
Well done on getting it straight out too!
Hugs to you!

CremeEggThief · 12/12/2012 19:52

Fantastic! Keep going :o.

trixymalixy · 06/01/2013 14:14

Just to update. I did donate all 8 bags of clothes to charity. I discovered that Oxfam and the Salvation army have clothes bins in supermarket car parks. That solved the practical issues for me of managing to park near a charity shop and manage 8 bags with 2 kids. Thought that might help someone else.

I have sold 3 things on Gumtree this weekend and made myself £60. I have started taking pictures of stuff to go on eBay waiting for the next free listing weekend.

I binned 2 bags of those crappy McDonald's/ magazine/broken toys, packed up some toys to keep for grand kids (hopefully!) and have others ready for charity shops/eBay.

Hopefully I'll manage to keep it up!

IamMummyhearmeROAR · 06/01/2013 15:20

I used to save things with the notion I would do a boot sale. I kept lots of beautiful baby stuff, washed,pressed, in perfect order. I spent 4 hours of my life there and after I paid for my table I had made £5. My time and sanity are worth more than that so now it's hand it on,charity bag,textile bank or Freecycle. The feeling that the clutter is gone is worth far more to me.

bamboostalks · 06/01/2013 15:24

Once you get into it, it becomes addictive. I have actually become v ruthless now....well sort of!

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