Fledglings Remember to FLY through November...

[BlueEyeshadow]

If your house is a mess and you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and wine along the way.

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in weekly designated zones of the house; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with more time to do other more interesting things instead! At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again anyway!

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

[And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.]

More info here on getting started and Flying lessons. Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings. Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound (and you may discover a few of our subversions of the vocabularly along the way).

Many thanks to SC for leading the thread through October (and for such a good OP, which I've blatantly cut and pasted) - - and I'll post the first babysteps and mission tomorrow evening.

All welcome!!

Morning all! Just a dump as mindees are here in 10. Have added clean guinea pigs Area and change food and water etc into routines...

To do:
Home bleugh
Wash bedding
Clean windows and mirrors and doors
Walk dogs
File paperwork
Routines
Mission in kitchen- top of microwave and fridge
DD laundry
My laundry
Make playdough

BBL!

Just a quick fly-by!
madwoman good luck with your resignation today - thinking of you!
Gossip the lounge sounds lovely and you sound much much happier than you did a few days ago!

Back to school for me today, minimal list:
Routines
WHB
Visit dMil
Dinner - beef stew
Write for Wrimo
Practise piano

Happy Monday!

Madwoman Resign and enjoy the weight being lifted from your shoulders. I am sure whatever happens you will get through. Maybe you could do something little from home just to get some "pocket money" in once you have had a chance to relax more. Hope all goes well today!!!

Well, house is looking very respectable, although I have left some dusting for the "lady". I did do all the floors, shower, washed all the rugs, cleared the shelves etc, in fact I have done more housework today in preparation for this than I have done in months. But I now feel more comfortable about her coming although she will probably think she is onto a cushy number and will sit twiddly her thumbs for half the time!!

Soooooo hot here. The sweat is dripping off me!!! I need to go and unpack my shopping and get tea underway. DH and DS have football tonight, so tea has to be early. I want to just go and lock myself into a fridge!

have a good day everyone.

Ta da
Finish painting nails
Look for file that is needed - but still can't find.
Think about what is needed to be done this week, when and how
School uniform in to dry
Deal with incoming emails.
Read a chapter of book.
Breakfast
Try to nap - failed but feel better for an extra hour's rest.
dressed to shoes - it's still freezing out there!!
My bedding on to wash.
Sort out ds' kit bag
Sort out ds' bag from being away
School run
Brew up an extra large pot of coffee
30mins my room
2nd load of washing on
Folding up to date but won't last
move laundry from dining room table

To do
Sort out sending out emails
bedding on to wash
stuff to go into loft to go
do laundry
tackle my room!
Ds' homework

Ooooh another childminder!

Good luck with your resignation today madwoman.

PA I vote option B too!

That's great that you've made a decision about work, Madwoman, and that you are feeling calmer already .

PA - hope all goes well with your cleaner today (let us know!). I just clear the clutter before my cleaner comes and make sure there is no dirty laundry on the floor!

lauren - at your new guinea pigs.

Crazycake - welcome! Am not surprised you feel as if you are losing control, with six children and work as well! I childminded when DS1 was little and it was one of the hardest jobs I've done. There are a couple of other childminders here too (one of them is distracted with new guinea pigs right now ).

bitchy - glad you got some sleep and that DS is calmer this morning. Long may it last .

castle - I hope you've added 'write a 50,000-word novel' to your daily routines .

Blue - my visitor was lovely and cheered me up. The Tudor house rather undid her good work! We have to finish making it today.

DS1 is being hard work at the moment, almost certainly because his OCD is bad. He was like a boy possessed yesterday . I confiscated his XBox for rudeness and disobedience, which meant he then made our lives a misery for the rest of the afternoon. I hoped today would be better, but he started on at us first thing (picking on us for every little thing, obsessing about stuff till you want to scream).

Today's list:

Put rubbish out
Morning routines
Get boys out of the house! (INSET day today, so still no school for DS2)
Take boots to cobblers
Return overdue DVDs to library
Get boys' hair cut
Drop in on MIL to show her the new haircuts (she gets very upset when their hair isn't tidy)
Quick shop for food
Sort out plans for DS2's birthday party
Ring dr to apologise for missing flu jab (I forgot ) and ask if there's another opportunity
Iron school uniform
Prepare school stuff for tomorrow
Finish the Tudor house
Dinner
Boys to bed at decent hour
Home ed prep
Bed at decent hour myself

Washing
hanging
Ironing
try to get orthodontist appointment
try and talk finances with insurance co.
recycling out
rubbish out
De-sludgeing
Move stuff to insurance unit
Prep psychology
try and clear hall
dinner

Hi to Crazycake, you sound like you have your hands full.

Engels Castle and Madwoman good luck with the writing.

Madwoman I now have visions of trying to explain Guy Fawkes and why letting of explosive charges on this day is custom.
No job that makes a mess of your head is worth it, if you can afford not to.

Swan glad Dh has made the transition reasonably easily. Not easy working from home. The realisation of how thin that line is. Yes, thin and fluctuating. I?m a fair few years further down the line and still making it up as we go along.

PA I hate to tell you that your Dh is right! I've been a cleaner and never had negative thoughts about anyone with a messy grubby house, it?s a sign of job security! Kind reasonable people can get away with anything, but as you've done it all for her as well, I'm sure she'll love you.

Blue right there with you on the post it notes, so don?t need to encourage that round here.

Toffee sorry missed earlier question: I pointed him to the pub on the corner. He must have been in dire problems as he returned three hours later and then moaned about getting a parking ticket, but my comment about better than being caught drink driving if he?d taken his van, was met with protestations about being in the loo the whole time.
The ?resilience? is only lack of choice and the unbearableness of repercussions and is stretched to breaking point tbh.

Sorry you're having a tough time with ds1 hope he levels out a bit soon. The Tudor house sounds interesting.

NotquitePerfect I?d settle happily for that lot.

Lauren your menagerie sounds fun.

Chairmum enjoy your new PC. I?m in awe of your skills, even if you think they're out of touch.

Gossip sounds great and very manageable afterwards.

Bitchy good luck getting through the day on what looks like little sleep even if you went early. I?d offer you some sanity, but there?s none here!

Welcome crazycake! Sounds like hell to me, but if you can get into it, this should help.

madwoman - that was how I felt. My sanity was suffering, the kids were unhappy, I was constantly grumpy and when I started getting anxiety attacks, I knew it was time for a change.

Yesterday I had a really productive day, and as a result I have time to do what I want today, and am just waiting for my delivery! Although I am shattered as DS was sick in the middle of the night so I was up for ages expecting him to do it again, we can't have his cousin to play, there'll be no swimming and he'll be off school tomorrow :( (Does everyone else follow the 48hr rule for being off school after sickness?)

So far I have:
Emptied dishwasher
done breakfast and tidied away
rebooted washing / drying
got kids up and dressed
hoovered stairs and upstairs

ToDo:
Lunch & clearup
More washing
S&S bathroom
dinner and evening routine.

There is only as much sanity as there is coffee in the coffee pot today. Otoh i might have discovered this hard flat surface in my room. tentative investigations suggest that it might extend the entire room. I believe the dictionary might call it a floor?

JustGetting - oh, poor man! Sounds like he was the wrong person for the job that day .

Right, morning routine done and kitchen looks presentable (in case DH turns up for lunch unexpectedly, as he sometimes does these days). Bins emptied and rubbish put out (why do I always have more bags than the neighbours, even though we recycle? ).

Next task is to get the boys out. Will allow at least half an hour for that...

Welcome crazycake from another childminder :)

lauren love the piggy names!!

madwoman thinking of you today :)

blue thanks the roast definitely worked and house back in shape.

So today's list

Write invoices
Give out invoices
Clean bathroom
15 mins in kitchen
Pay swimming fees
Pay flute fees
What's for dinner?
Cook and clear up
Homework with dc
Bath and relax!
Clear hotspot in sitting room
Quick sort out in playroom
Lunch and nursery run
School run at 3pm
Tumble dry washing
Put new load on
Dry 2nd load
15 mins of putting away clothes

Obviously this is in no particular order!!

Chair - yes, I do, though I know it's frustrating. It protects the other children. Also, you have to be sure your child will keep his food down when he eats. Hope your DS improves soon and sorry you have had such a difficult night.

Massive x-posts above. Must be MN and elevenses time .

Am really going now...

I follow that rule too chair and it drives me mad when parents try to send their children in when they are sick

Thanks Toffee, I always do, though XH sometimes acts like I'm being unreasonable to insist on it

Yes please do them off. My whole family is sick because a mindee came last week and parent mentioned at pick that the child had been sick :(

Justgetting... Thank you for your encouragement! I will just smile a lot and I will be fine!
I spent a fortune this afternoon on cleaning products, mops, cloths etc...... This had better be worth it!!

Toffee Oh dear about DS1. I hope things improve soon for him (and you) It must be hard for you, so have some

Toffee you are a better woman then I. that describes ds recently and I am afraid I did scream. At him. Tbh after this morning performance I am not sure that he is much calmer more that having had a break from dealing with it all. I am calmer thus handling it better. Gem of this morning's dealings was "ds I can either laugh at you or shout at you which would you prefer" but I am not thinking about that. No point getting myself into a tizz now about what might happen.

Instead working on monster ta da list.

Ta da
Finish painting nails
Look for file that is needed - but still can't find.
Think about what is needed to be done this week, when and how
School uniform in to dry
Deal with incoming emails.
Read a chapter of book.
Breakfast
Try to nap - failed but feel better for an extra hour's rest.
dressed to shoes - it's still freezing out there!!
My bedding on to wash.
Sort out ds' kit bag
Sort out ds' bag from being away
School run
Brew up an extra large pot of coffee
30mins my room
2nd load of washing on
Folding up to date but won't last
move laundry from dining room table
3rd load washing on
handwadshing done
60mins on my room
Speak to friend via skype
Ironing up to date
Drink far too much coffee and it is only kunch time. (although tbh i think i just brewed the pot on the strong side as only on my 3rd cup but feel like i have 8 already)
Find book meant to send on. - must find memory stick so can transfer and send it all together.
Clean shower
Clean bathroom sink
Stick toilet cleaning in toilet and pretend it doesn't exist for a bit whilst it soaks.

To do
Sort out sending out emails
bedding on to wash
stuff to go into loft to go
do laundry
tackle my room!
Ds' homework
Sort kit out for tomo morning's stupid o'clock start.

Well this morning I woke up in a grumpy mood, ds2 was sitting at the side of our bed nattering to a very sleepy dp and only spoke when dp drifted off !! ds1 wanted me to be his slave and then got very disrespectful to me after swimming, ds3 was not going to have his picture took, and I am fuming with argos for selling me a broken wall art thingy. I get better quality stuff from ebay!! and decorating hasn't happened yet but I have tackled the mountain of washing only to find the majority of it wasn't dirty!!!

Well, I managed to get the boys out and even persuaded them both to have their hair cut (DS1 refused initially). Luckily, the barber was brilliant and chatted with them about armies (DS2's current interest) and XBox (DS1's), so they soon cheered up.

Unfortunately, DS1's mood has not improved and he was still being argumentative and obsessive. He spent most of the trip arguing with me over an XBox game he wants which he insists is not an 18, even though it was listed as an 18 in the Argos catalogue (he said they were wrong ). Also he got caught up in various anxieties during our trip which made him even more panicky and difficult. What I really hate is that he picks on DS2 all the time when he is stressed. DS2 is incredibly tolerant, never having known any different and adoring his big brother regardless, but it upsets me so much and makes me feel protective of DS2 and angry at DS1. Am not sure what's going on with DS1 at the moment and am hoping it's not teenage hormones already (though I doubt it - he looks a long way off it).

Bitchy - sorry your DS is being equally demanding. I am pretty good at staying calm (years of practise), but I do lose my temper sometimes and yesterday was a case in point. I had to go upstairs to calm down (used the 15 minutes wisely by putting the clean washing away, in true Flylady style). I do wish normal everyday things could be, well, normal instead of fraught with drama . I'm glad you had a break - it must be invaluable.

Gossip - sorry you have had a difficult day and that your wall art thingy was broken.

PA - thanks for your encouraging words and the flowers . Let us know how it goes with your cleaner.

NickNacks - oh, that's infuriating for you . I hope this meant you couldn't have the mindee because you were sick - would serve the parents right!

Ta da list so far:

Put rubbish out done
Morning routines done
Get boys out of the house! done
Take boots to cobblers done - boots can't be mended . But that means I need to buy new boots
Return overdue DVDs to library done
Get boys' hair cut done
Drop in on MIL to show her the new haircuts not done thanks to DS1 being too anxious and needing to get home
Quick shop for food done

Also, phoned pilates teacher and left message about starting an evening class. Am going to do it so that I can have a break from domestic life once a week (an attempt to destress).

Still to do:

Sort out plans for DS2's birthday party
Ring dr to apologise for missing flu jab and ask if there's another opportunity
Iron school uniform
Prepare school stuff for tomorrow
Finish the Tudor house
Dinner
Boys to bed at decent hour
Home ed prep

Think's there maybe something in the air in regards to ds1's today, mines winding the other's up and still being disrespectful, dont worry ladies, not long until bedtime.

In regards to the wall art thingy I had to get a refund and reserve it in a store in another town so we went and we got and I drove back then to school and nearly took the back end of another car and then moved my bins again parking up also had some little turds from the high school down the road try and star jump in front of my car, dickheads!! The learner plates were clearly displayed too !!!!!

any way list done today is:-
kids to go swimming
ds3 hair cut
get wall art thing
ds3 for picture
tidy landing

still to do:-
cook tea
paint skirting
sand doors
paint doors
put scocia stuff down
tidy lounge of all crap from decorating
put lighting on and relax in my beautiful lounge
have a bath
go to bed
then tomorrow is a whole other day!!

Hi all, didn't post over the weekend as it is always hard to get on the computer with the kids around! Had a good fireworks night Saturday - first nearly meltdown-free one, thanks to ear defenders and the big display being the other side of town, so ds enjoyed most of it, hurray!

Interesting to see so many other fledglings have kids with additional needs. We are currently awaiting an ASD diagnosis for ds which the psychologist seems to think is likely - multidisciplinary team assessment here though so it takes ages - but at least we are getting support from the psych now which is helping a lot. And I can see how much better ds is when we are on top of de-cluttering (though he won't have me tidy his room - it's too much change at once, last time I did it he melted into a sobbing heap...)

Our anticipated dropper-inner friend did indeed drop in, giving us 30 mins notice, I was out with kids so dp continued his sterling tidying and hoovering efforts (he does nothing until people are due, but does a grand job for guests so I try to focus on the positive) and it must have worked as we got comments on how 'spacious' the house felt! I am now trying to keep it that way with a thrice-daily pickup and a sink shine whenever possible. It does not last though, with two small saboteurs around.

Gossip - I agree with you about the 'something in the air' for DS1s at present. Bedtime feels too far off!

Systems - we have noticed before what a high proportion of DC with SNs us Flyladies have . I think we speculated before that those of us with SN children have greater demands on our time and patience and therefore need to feel in control of the housework. How old is your DS? It's good that you have a psychologist on your side .

Glad you managed a good fireworks night on Saturday - that's quite an achievement with an ASD child. We have decided to give ours a miss tonight, as last year the bangers were so loud even the neurotypical children were in tears! Am looking forward to wine and telly.

Systems there are a lot of us on here, I'm beginning to wonder if this is the reason our houses are so cluttered, I once accidently broke ds1's pebble jar (yes he went through a collecting pebbles off the street phase) so I tried to clean it up as quick as possible but left one pebble, he noticed and wouldn't come out of his "den" for ages, and there were lots of tears, I felt so bad about it, this was before I realised there may be an issue with him. So I can imagine what your going through. Apart from the nasty mood ds1 is in we haven't had a meltdown yet but I can feel one brewing, obviously due to the re-decorating, but I have managed it a little, by telling him the night before what I plan to do to it the next day. Which means he keeps me on task by making sure its done.

That said i dont generally have an issue with the fireworks and ds1, but he will go on about it for days until he has seen at least one display, but his stupid father took him to one this weekend and took him to one that was being held in someones back garden, needless to say ds1 was bitterly dissapointed and will not stop talking about going to a real display!

My DS (8, AS) doesn't go to the organised fireworks display, one of us takes DD on her own. He did go two years ago and was Ok, as in he coped, but he found it a bit much and hasn't wanted to go again. He does like having a few at home in the garden though. As ASD children go he doesn't have too many sensory issues, but we steer clear of really noisy situations just in case and he has got ear defenders.