advice about housework ,routines etc !!!!!

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Hi was brought up by step mum who was really ill with severe ocd and other issues - as consequence she was not able to teach me things re household management or cleaning and i was not able to do it via osmosis as in just being around as she did not allow us in the kitchen,did not allow us to touch things - she was v illoical and tense all the time she thought that things would set fire - not the oven but othe objects not related to fire such as furniture,break etc,did repetative actions etc etc Ended up in hospital several times .When i went ti uni i did nott know how to cook ,nutrition etc etc.Iam now in my 40s and am very homley minded - i wonder why !!! ha ha but i struggle with some things

• what makes a house homley -how t o make people feel cosy-

• basic cleaning routines- and in particular what /when to do extras and what they actually are!!! - i tend not to think of these extras such as do you wipe chairs after meals - saw mine the other day and they seemed a bit yack/ cruddy when others seem nicer,clean vases out,clean breadbin and things like containers so not a bit dusty- i sometimes worry that ima bit of a slatern - other peoples houses seem more sparkly clean than mine but i tend to forget the little extras - like dusting raditors then it builds up and looks a bit bleugh!

Any little and big tips much appriciated!!!!!! .Also... jobs teens can do i feel a bit that as i wasnt allowed to do anything i maybe have little expectation of my teens doing stuff -which isnt good for them i guess and i want them to be able to undersand the basics - they do see me and they do things when i ask such as wash up ,swwep floor ,hang laundry out ,i mean regular jobs so that its snormal for them to do as part of daily life...

Homelycosy: I always think its the little things ... nice cushions that tone in with your colour scheme. A few pictures up. A nice mirror over the sofa or mantelpiece. Flowers (dry or fresh). Candle holders dont cost the earth and look pretty in pairs or 3's. A fruit bowl on the dining table. Nice lamps, not harsh overhead lighting is so cosy to me ....

Cleaining: depends, do you want to do a weekly whip round for an hour solid? Play to your strengths. Personally i dont like 1hour. (easily bored/short attention span). So, every time i am in a room i do one thing in it that has to take no longer than 5mins max. ie. Hoover. Dust. Wipe surfaces. Bins and containers and fridge every 2weeks or so. Windows once a month in rural area, more in the city (dirtier quicker). Radiators, damp cloth once a month. Skirting boards every 2weeks or so. My flat is immaculate according to the Landlady so it works for me ... Oh and cleaners w bleach in are best results wise i find . Pound shop is great for cleaning products.
Teens: I set the table every night, did my own washing and kept my own room tidy. Also did own packed lunch for school ...
Hope this helps !

thanks - dazzled - x anymore folks.......................

bump x

last bump i promise !!!!

re cleaning, I would sketch out a weekly schedule for when you shall clean bathroom/ wash kitchen floor/ change beds and other 'weekly' bigger jobs. Only you will know, depending on the size of your family and 'traffic' through your house, how many times you need to vacuum/ load washing machine and iron. I'd work out how often you need to do these jobs and also slot these into your weekly schedule. I would then have a weekly 'slot(s)' for cleaning eg living room or bedrooms more throughly. you might find that your living room needs to occupy this slot every other week, whereas bedrooms only need to be cleaned throughly every months. I would add on a little job or two in the kitchen every evening after clearing up post dinner; eg wiping chairs, above cupboards/ cupboard doors, fridge etc. once you get into the swing of doing this it becomes v easy. keep your house tidy by keeping as-big-as -is-feasible basket near your stairs and get into the habit of (constantly)moving any stray items that are lying around into this basket, to be returned to their correct place whenever you get the chance. I work part-time and have four small children and this is what works for me. (To be honest am more tidy than most people and get sl irritated when people remark on how clean and tidy the place looks- I never remark when other people's houses are a tip!)

re creating a homely atmosphere I'd say good lighting is really important; I'd have dimmer switches fitted if this is possible and lots of lamps vs overhead lights. also a bit of attention to small things eg floweres, as mentioned above and focus on things that are personal to you and your family- instead of traditional 'ornaments' perhaps a small collection of any toys or baby shoes from when your children were small; I love vintage things and would much rather browse in charity shops for old bits and pieces to display, than generic next-home type things. stick to neutral walls and just add colour with cushions, throws, bedding.

I hope this is helpful; it must be difficult if you have no template from your childhood. good luck!