When you are ill or lacking energy........

[JimmyFlip]

What's the minimum you find acceptable to do each day, housework wise?

Have been fighting anaemia over the last year due to blood loss, and have always been low blood pressure at the best of times. Stupidly, was feeling better for a while so stopped taking iron a month or so ago. After exhausting (if enjoyable) camping trip and general summer holidayness (sahp with 5yr old and 2yr old) I am worn out and back to square one, it feels. DP working 12hr+ days, so not able to give much support. Can't remember what it feels like to have the energy needed all day.

Trying to live by a philosophy that as long as kitchen surfaces are cleaned, floor swept and all washing up done at least once a day, and living room tidied and hoovered at least every other day (esp if we're lazily eating in there) bathroom wiped over once a week (toilets and surrounding floor more often as needed. Boys!), everything else can wait a while. I've managed to keep on top of washing, just need some energy to put it all away.

Floor mopping, kitchen cupboards (complete with arrival of silverfish), carpet cleaning, windows and the whole of upstairs (not to mention the garden) are beginning to scream at me.

I hate living like this. Paperwork, clutter and toys are mounting and my spirits are nose-diving. I am grumpy, tearful and stroppy every day since back from holiday camping (over a week ago) and too horrified to invite people in. I've been taking a multi-vitamin and iron again, regularly for at least a week but don't seem to be improving much. My poor boys

Can't speak to GP for another week as on leave. Worried I'm disappearing into a depression (two episodes before now) but as been off ADs for 8 years, I am developing a fear of failure which seems to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Loads more stresses I could moan about - not good is it?

On the plus side, DP is taking the DC away for a couple of nights over the weekend, so that's to look forward to, though I did hope to get the house in order before this happened so I could enjoy the time to myself and relax ffs! I guess there's always tomorrow.....

Thanks if you got thus far

Crumbs, you are never coming to my house, ever!

What you describe is a lot of work, if you are trying to regain your health and strength, then you could easily half what you are doing imo without standards slipping too much.

It sounds like you deserve to look after yourself and not worry so much about the house work.

Are you back on the iron supplements? If not, get back on them. They make such a difference. Worth taking Floradix or its gluten free version, as it seems much quicker to work (I get anaemic a lot too, and know exactly how you feel about not having the physical energy.)

Sounds to me like you are doing really well.

One tip that has worked brilliantly for me is to work to a 5 or 15 minute timer. Set a timer for 5 minutes and tackle one job until it goes off. Don't do it 'thoroughly' aka creating more mess than when you started, do it quickly so you feel on top of it. Eg, chuck out all newspapers and flyers etc, then stuff all school letters into one file and all finance letters into another. As soon as the timer rings, stop and take 5 minutes breather, then set it again if you want to or don't if you're already knackered.

You can turn it into a game with kids, so their challenge is to put away as many toys as they can in 5 mins etc, then you all get a biscuit reward, or go to the park, or whatever.

What's really encouraging about this, is how much you can actually do in 5 minutes. You can empty a dishwasher, or put away all towels and bedlinen, so the laundry piles go down. Or you can pair up enough school socks for a week, etc. It's an incentive, and I find myself thinking, oh that'll only take 5 mins, whereas before I used to think, oh no, I have to do that on top of everything else.

Later in the day, if you feel up to it, make yourself a drink, set timer for 15 mins and do a more detailed sort-out of paperwork - pay bills, fill in forms etc.

Create less laundry. Chuck out all old, tatty clothes, stuff that's too small. (Again, use a timer to clear one cupboard in 5 mins.) It's easier to put stuff away when drawers and wardrobes are empty, and there's less laundry in the basket.

Same with tat. Get rid of it. easier to clean a cupboard if there's no lentils from 1997 in there (I know whereof I speak.)

As to ADs, if you need them, take them, no shame. Why not? You'd not feel guilty taking medicine for any other illness that flared up from time to time.

please don't spend your weekend doing housework!

Which would be more satisfying - the DC coming home to a sparkling home and a shattered mum, or a tidy house and a mum rushing to see them with a sparkly eyes?

If you must, why not use racingheart's brullian

Sorry, pressed post too soon!

racibgheart's brilliant timers tip and focus on one small room to give it a top to bottom clean (in 5 min sessions).

Take care of yourself

Have you tried 'Metatone' tonic?

From Boots.....or large supermarkets. Very good!

Just over a fiver.

I would agree, you're definitely doing too much housework; during the summer holidays you need to develop a survival mentality. If you don't feel you can invite people over, don't. Don't stress about it, just say 'oh god the house is a tip after the hols, let's go to [x] instead'.

The timers tip is excellent, and it really is amazing how much you can get done in a short time, but it is much more important that you pace yourself so as not to get over-tired. Health first, hoover later!

For the garden, can you afford to get someone to come in and give it a once over? I personally find it too physically demanding (am recovering from a serious illness, plus I bloody hate all housework, esp gardening!) so needs must.

That said, you obviously need a certain amount of tidiness around you for your own sense of wellbeing and mental health. I think you may have to be somewhat ruthless in compromise - can things you don't need to see or deal with immediately get chucked in a box out of sight? Would a couple of big baskets for toys deal with getting stuff off the floor at the end of the day?

If your GP is on leave you can go and see any of the others at the practice, although you may want to hang at this stage for the one who knows you.

Thank you for all the replies, tips and reassurance

Sorry to be so delayed in answering. RL taking over, but am feeling marginally better today - I think the supplements are beginning to kick in, if gradually. And the release of it all from in my head to MN!

LOL Hugo - I did say I was trying (not always successfully though, hence my questioning for what is acceptable ). I guess I am feeling a pressure because we are in a new area and I still don't know local people very closely - you know, that awkward introductoy phase where everyone wants to make a good first impression. The bar has been set high from the invitations we've received.

All the replies have helped me to remember this is short term - so thank you for that. Nothing awful is going to happen if things don't pick up over the next week, and a rest will clearly do me good. I am aiming to potter about over the weekend and do what I feel able to, knowing if I don't, conserving energy will pay dividends for when the boys return.

I have also been forgetting that it feels like I can't get much done with the DC around because I am lacking energy to organise properly as well as deal with all the squabbling so hopefully this won't be the case when they get back.

Thanks Tribpot for your post, glad to hear you are in recovery, sounds like you've been through a really hard time. We had a great guy help do a final blitz clean when we moved from our last place, so calm (I am a stress head moving!) and helpful. If things don't pick up I might see if he might come and help do some of the bigger one-off jobs we're just not getting round to. DP is due to be away next month so it would be a weight off both of our minds.

We've also just had some good news that DP's business is finally picking up again, so it might be a justifiable expense

Thanks again

It might be better to set the bar low with your neighbours from the beginning, JimmyFlip :) That way you can get the reputation for being a slackarse when it comes to hoovering the skirting boards and simply stop bothering! That's definitely what I'd do.

Good news about the business - remember, putting some of that dosh to work helping you is a perfectly valid way to spend it. The blitzing guy sounds great! I could keep him in near-permanent employment at my house.

Oh, and you're right about ADs racingheart - if things don't pick up I won't bat an eyelid about going back on them - couldn't stay feeling like this forever, and they really worked for me before. Am just kicking myself for coming off iron too soon - cross wih self.

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LOL good advice