"But I NEED it!" - support thread for those struggling with Hoarding

[fuzzpig]

I have seen lots of threads on MN for partners of hoarders, but (apologies if I am just unobservant) haven't noticed any for those struggling with their own hoarding tendencies (as opposed to general clutter/messiness, which I'm sure you'll agree is very different from hoarding).

No judging, no "Just throw it away!", just support, understanding and chat about our difficulties - whether or not you are ready/willing to confront them. :)

I want to throw a load of things out!

Long story short, OH is a hoarder who hates clutter. Has given us (me and DDs) huge amounts of stress over the years and then shipped crap tat SIL had dumped on him over here to clutter up thus house, which he wants immaculate. I want to get rid of toys and books. When they arrived I told him about cluttering up the house with someone else's old tat, boxed up most of it for him to dispose of. He put in the garage and then told DDs to look and see if they want to keep any of it. Luckily they had heard me ranting about "someone else's toot" and asked for an explanation. So they weren't interested in Daddy's offer of said toot

I've been reminding him of and vacuuming around a pile of kids books for three years, tomorrow it's moving to the garage because that's his space.

Glad I got that off my chest.

Books are gone, only to the garage but that works as it's out of the house.

My hoarding has got way out of control.

I've always had a lot of stuff but it's now taking over the whole of upstairs and is gradually taking over downstairs too.

Ds' bedroom has a fair amount of his stuff in but also has a couple of boxes waiting to be taken to a car boot but we haven't been at home a single sunny Sunday since Easter.

There is a room upstairs which you walk through to get to ds' room. It has the computer in it and one wall has 6 full length doors hiding the built in storage. There is a very thin path from the door from the stairs to ds' bedroom door. The cupboards are rammed full of stuff. The cupboard doors have boxes of stuff up against them to keep them shut .

In my room there are two spare duvets looking to be re-homed but I don't know what to do with them or where to take them. I've got half of my camping gear just on the floor because i have nowhere else to put it. All my clothes are in piles on the floor or over the end of my bed.

My paperwork is in such a mess. My tax credit renewal form is due by the end of this month but I need to sort out my tax return before i can send it off but I just can't face trying to sort it out .

I'm in such a rut. Every now and again I have a moment of focused motivation and will clear a surface or cupboard. Unfortunately, these moments don't come often and don't last long. I'm hoping that when the holidays start that I'll be able to get on top of it but who am I kidding?

Spare duvets- charity shop if they are in decent condition, or local church, homeless shelter, women's aid. I'm abroad so don't web sites and numbers, but I'm sure you'll be ale to find someone to take them if you ask around.

Do you have space to hang the clothes, if so buy some cheap plastic hangers. If you have too many them pull out they things you never wear, or don't like anymore, doesn't make you feel good to wear it, doesn't match or go with anything else.

What I'm struggling with is the fact that the clutter isn't mine, I could easily sweep everything into the bin but would then have OH and DDs asking why their stuff is gone.

Do you go camping? If so, reassign some space for the camping gear. This would mean getting rid of other things that don't get used. I know it's not as easy as it looks on paper. Maybe you could write a list of when you've used X as opposed to the camping gear, or will realistically in the near future. Not the the din and distant future, but this year or next at the latest. When and for What will it be used? If it's taking up valuable space and not paying for itself swap it for the among gear- just don't swap position though, you don't want a pile of random stuff in your bedroom.