pocket money to get kids to help?

[3duracellbunnies]

Posted in chat but obv too boring so thought would come to the housekeeping experts. My dc are 7, 5 and nearly 3. The 7 yr old hates tidying, will roll eyes, tantrum etc, anything not to do it, the 5yr old + nearly 3 will start but once 7yr old kicks off they see no reason in continuing. I work from home part time, dh works full time, plus the dc keep us up late and wake up early, ds home with me all the time (1 toy tidied, 3 toys out), so hard to keep a tidy house.

7yr old begining to test the water to have pocket money. Thinking of offering them financial incentives for jobs done around the house. If I say said that if the sweep floor once a week they will get 50p, do you think that they would take more care over the floor the rest of the time, picking stuff up when they drop it rather than wait for the fairies to do it? Does anyone pay their children to help out, does it work? Any pitfalls? I don't think it is ideal, but it is hard to make them tidy up. I have said no friends over if they don't tidy their bedroom etc, but they still don't tidy up, just moan about not having friends over.

Should clarify that I don't expect the nearly 3yr old to in any way understand, but he knows enough to know if he is being left out, and he is actually quite good at tidying! 5yr old would definitely understand, and would probably take to it with great enthusiasm.

How about the other way round - decide on a list of "chores" for each of them appropriate to their ages. Then say that if they do all chores without a fuss they get full amount of money but 5p or 10p deducted each time they kick off about it!

My DDs have a list of chores for which they get paid. Works better for DD2 as she is very money orientetated. They are 10 and both lot their pocket money from Dad because he failed to set any guidelines as to what he expected. So, they are now looking for alternative forms of income

You could give the younger one easier jobs, like tidy his toys away and maybe putting his own clothes away. I agree with deducting money for making a fuss over doing it, I do that too. Make sure they understand before, and at the time, if you need to dock their pay, it saves dealing wth a revolt at a later date.

No, chores are part of being in the team so they should not be paid. If you pay them, you essentially say it isn't valued for itself which is a crap message for life IMO.

Round here, the toddler gets toddler jobs, the 8yo gets 8yo jobs. If he doesn't do them like an 8yo can, he has to go to bed early or miss out on activities.

I think this is more of a 'how do I get my 7yo to do as I say' issue. The only way is to be tough. Sorry, I know you wanted a housekeeping answer but I don't think this is really a housekeeping problem!

DD (9) gets £10 per month, she doesn't have a list of chores as such but knows what I expect of her - to keep her room tidy and the floor clear, to put away clean clothes tidily, to put dirty clothes into the laundry bin, to keep her bathroom tidy and things put away and to feed the pets in the morning. Also to do her homework without fuss and complaint.
Any fussing or kicking off about it results in 20p being docked, especially if I have to raise my voice or ask repeatedly.
More pocket money can be earnt as well though for doing extra jobs - weeding the gravel in the garden, washing the car, vacuuming etc.

I get £7.50 a week for cleaning the dds room. They're supposed to do it and in return get pocket money, but it's never done. I'm never here when they are to enforce it, ergo they never get their pocket money and I have an extra £7.50 a week. It's not worth it.

Thanks for all the tips. They generally do as we ask (at the moment) having been fairly strict with time out etc when younger, everyone says how kind and helpful dd1 is, and she is great with the younger ones, so I guess I shouldn't moan too much, but they just don't have much respect for the house. Dd1 can be very stubborn (in a nice way) and would rather go without going out etc, than give in if she sets her mind to something, which is why I thought that a positive incentive might work better. They will sometimes help, but it is more when they can be bothered rather than something that they volunteer for. I can imagine that left to a free market dd2 would try to do as many jobs as she could for money, and so dd1 would want to keep up.

I guess I'm not so keen on taking away things than rewarding positive behaviour, but I can see that small fines for not doing things might make them more likely to do it the first time, and will widen the scope of things I expect them to do. They haven't mentioned pocket money since the weekend, so giving me a bit of time to think about strategy.

When my children were younger we found that sticker charts worked well. They each had a magnetic reward chart (from next) with their expected chores written along one side. Each day that the chores were completed they received a star (little magnets). At the end of the week a full house of stars meant a special treat of some sort - they could choose what it was that they wanted within a budget of £2 so maybe a small toy, a sweet or ice lolly from the shop or money to save up for something bigger. Son always opted for the money as he liked to save up for bigger things, daughter usually opted for a small toy. Having it written down on the chart was good because I'd only need to give a gentle reminder "have you done your chores today?" and they'd be off to double check what it is they were meant to have done and make sure it was all done.