I used to think I was just a slattern, but now I realise I have revolting children!

[MrsNouveauRichards]

Seriously, when DD was little, I used to take her out and about a lot, and the housework wouldn't get done nearly as often as it should, but it didn't matter as we weren't really making much mess. I used to have a list of jobs for each day and would usually get them done.

Three years later, I have a DS too (21m) DD is at preschool in the mornings, which limits our trips out because of school run, so more time is spent at home.

My house is a shithole. Aside from the mountains of toys and laundry, there are piles of stuff I hardly notice anymore, the hall and kitchen floors are nearly always muddy and the general grot is astonishing. I don't do these things, not because I am a slattern as I previously thought, but because I spend all my time just clearing up the chaos left by DS (mostly, DD contributes her fair share) this includes (but not limited to) shredded tissue or kitchen roll, wet sand from the outside sandpit being brought in by a bucket, half chewed bits of toast stuffed into furniture, all the sofa cushions and throws made into a trampoline, dried pasta emptied out of the cupboard, and the paper and pens/crayons/pencils that gets put away a minimum of 45 billion times a day. Not to mention the amount of washing caused by one small boy unable to stay away from any mud or water.

I used to actually do dusting FFS!

What do yOu do when your ds is in bed???

I clear up all the dinner stuff, put the dishwasher on, sort some laundry, spend a bit of time with DD, have a shower and go to bed :o

I had expectations of being a SAHM, and with DD they were pretty accurate, but with DS, they are so far away from that! He is already on his second outfit of the day, having got muddy at the school, then fallen into a puddle right outside the house. I am swaying between keeping him naked or dressing him in binbags :o

What time does ds go to bed???

You'll do dusting again one day, don't panic :o. I think you have to accept there will be a few years of hell - but those years really do go so fast.

Well, he goes to bed at 7ish, but then he usually has a bedtime poo around 7.30 - 7.45 then he has to get all the books out of the bookcase, and sometimes empties the drawers of clothes, then it is time to get DD ready for bed, so bedtime can take up to 2hrs in this house!

I would like to say it is probably just a phase, but I am not feeling it :o

Don't let him do stuff when he has the bedtime poo.
Or juggle his mealtimes to try and get him to poo earlier?

Ha - sounds a lot like mine (3rd outfit today.. pyjama's sacrificed to porridge, one pair of trousers to crawling (he's been walking a year - but now thinks crawling is funny) around the house to the garden + mud in the garden, then a second pair to a combination of lunch and more mud.

The living room got covered in bits of cheesy biscuit when he decided that crushing them into his tractor and money box was a better idea than eating them, the previous contents of the moneybox are now in the middle of the hall floor, and all the brooms and umbrellas are neatly placed under his highchair since he doesn't like them in the porch (he moved them himself). I put his cars in a box, which he immediately goes through to retrieve his favourites, his books are on the floor (in use as ramps for his cars), and there are little bits of soap (half-chewed) around the bedroom - I don't know how he managed to get the soap, but he is climbing a lot recently, and he likes the taste of soap.

It's all very well suggesting that you don't let them do stuff, but believe me, I don't let mine do 90% of the stuff he wants to do - yet he still manages to escape and cause mayhem (fast mover.. and quiet when he wants to be)

:o so glad it is not just mine!

He was playing in the garden, quite happily in the sandpit, DD asked me to get some pens down (i have now hidden them) turned around to find ds had actually dug up a tomato plant, not pulled, dug. He had got his hands on an adult trowel and had dug the bloody thing up!

My house is a tip too - ds is 3.5 and just spends the whole time causing chaos. He does the same at pre-school too - they don't have the staff levels to keep as close an eye on him as I do - so things that would get headed off at home (unravelling loo roll, tipping paints into other containers, digging plants up) occur pretty regularly. He is very imaginative - always has an idea of what he is doing and is very determined about doing it - won't hesitate to pull chairs around to climb to get things, has mastered cupboard locks etc... My dd didn't do any of this stuff so it has come as a bit of a shock

I also have one at pre school and a 23mo.

I hoover a couple of times a day, keep the kitchen clean at all times, laundry done all the time (or else we're overrun).

Do have a dog so toast crusts/dried pasta not so much of an issue. But then I have dog walking/general doggy care duties that I suppose I wouldn't have with no dog.

I clear up mess as it happens, as soon as one activity is finished I either tidy up or help the DC to tidy it up before they move onto the next one.

Cleaning up a bit of tissue paper or sand and putting the sofa back in order doesn't take that long, surely?

But then I do find the days drag being at home with 2 DC so I am always happy to be getting on with a bit of tidying or cleaning as the days go on.

I have an 18 month old and a 3 and a bit year old at preschool 3 mornings a week. I find hoovering twice a day and making sure the kitchen is clean at all times makes me feel a bit suicidal by the end of the day, so my house is a shit-tip too.

Why are some of you giving OP a telling off?

We're not telling off we're advising

No way would a bucket of sand enter my house hate sand!

"Why are some of you giving OP a telling off?"

Maybe because this is a great big steaming pile of bollocks:

"I don't do these things, not because I am a slattern as I previously thought, but because I spend all my time just clearing up the chaos left by DS"

Yeah, all day cleaning up after one child. The whole day.

Have a grotty house by all means, but be honest about why.

I'm off to bed now so I won't be able to field any angry responses btw

No anger. Just

You will miss this one day.

My eldest is 16 and my youngest 1. They are all revolting and I have revolting dogs too. My house has been in varying degrees of shitheap for 16 years. I'm sure yours will improve long before then or hire a cleaner.

I am looking forward to doing it all over again with grandchildren :) .

Hahaha, I love how some people can get so worked up about the fact that my house is a mess.

Just having a lighthearted moan. But no, my children are unruly monsters. Step SIL, is that you? :o

My cat is a bit rubbish at clearing up food, should have got a dog instead. Though, we have two horses which mean DS's nap time is taken up doing them rather than cleaning my skirting boards.

lovely to get a lecture about being disorganized and having undisciplined children when it was obviously a humorous post. I got it!

I could have written your post myself. I was vaguely on top of things with DS despite working FT. Now I work part-time and spend my life picking up after DD who will be destroying the next thing while I clear up the debris. Our house is constantly littered with junk. Yesterday while I was doing the kitchen floor she had taken a bucket of grass and stones to the living room and was sprinkling its contents on the sofa. When I discovered this and set about clearing up she went to the kitchen, stole two satsumas and left peel all over the floor. The dogs draw the line at eating peel!

I'd love to be one of these super-efficient people who has an immaculate house (see above ) but to do that successfully I'd need kennels for the children.

Also see my post about my pissy bathroom. Might make you feel better

:o

I shall look up the pissy bathroom thread....

I am messy but I am usually the one who tidies so I think I am allowed! Dc are just really messy. Dd in particular will actually leave drawers/cupboards open after she has been in them (she's almost 9yrs). Periodically I just stand in the centre of a room and order the children to clear all their crap stuff from every surface and they just run in and out collecting stuff and re-depositing it in their rooms.
Basically we are a scruffy bunch and we'll just have to embrace the clutter because we are too lazy to live in a pristine home. You have no chance with toddlers!
Is it wrong to want to pelt the poster who asked what you do when dc go to bed with rotten fruit? Your answer was lovely, mine would have been - sit on sofa, ignore mess, eat and rest ready for the next relentless day of toddlerdom you pious idiot.

:o I think I love you a little bit