What's the protocol on 'disappearing' some of the dcs' stuff?

[phdlife]

Both my dc's (nearly 3 and nearly 5) have inherited packrat tendencies from their father. They will never, ever, consent to getting rid of anything - not that bit broken off the plastic tractor that's been missing for two years, not a single drawing, not the snipped-up pieces of paper or yarn, not that baby board book that's been chewed up and ripped in half and can't be fixed.

If my dc's catch sight of something going out - say, baby bottles, or a rattle, or even size 1 clothing - they dig them out again for a play (cue tantrum as nearly 3 can't get the size 1 shirt over her head, or does get it over, but can't get arms in). Cue more tantrums when I find the size 1 shirt in my washing basket again, after it has been kicked from one end of the house to the other and back.

I'm not talking about beloved teddies or lego or the elaborate artworks, obviously.

But that giant basket of soft toys they periodically strew through the playroom to discover just how boring they are? A third of the 1001 renditions of 'humpy-dumpy' in orange crayon? Ds's vacuum cleaner, that's missing all its parts which have broken off (ie can't be put back on) and doesn't work, even with new batteries? That scrunched up sticker book with no stickers cos they're all on dd's door? How do I get rid of that crap? I mean, treasure?

lol, this has been a great thread to come back to!

sympathies with everyone who's suffered the 'inheritances' of others' dc's. We moved back to this country with a toddler and an enormous bump and for the next 12m no member of the family came visiting without a crate of out-grown clothes or toys or shoes or books - with MiL adding treasures she'd found at the markets ("it was only 50 cents!" ) and dsis bringing all my old dolls' cots "in case I had a girl" (my god, where did she get them???) For 9 years we lived in a dinky 3-room flat in the UK; here we're in a 3-bedroom, 2 living area house with study, garage and rumpus room, and it's all full of stuff, when really, that's not the life I want us to lead. Frankly I quite liked spb's "bombed" - that would suit me down to the ground! I've had to enforce 'gift embargos' just so that Xmas and birthdays could have some meaning.

agree with viewofthehills they have different abilities. ds takes it very personally, the idea that I might not regard all his treasures as, well, treasures. He gets the idea of charity shops, though, so I might work on that. I've also noticed him thinking about passing toys on to dd. But like stealthsquiggle's dd I think mine could easily be a bit more ruthless. (actually, squiggle, I've never had the chance to say this to you, but I think our dc's are hair-raisingly similar...)

I'm fine with throwing the broken bits and rubbish drawings away, but have felt the sneaking-toys-out to be disrespectful as well as failing to teach them - just hadn't been able to articulate it like that. Think we might just practise more looking for things to go to charity. And have more discussions about broken bits.

I cull the toys while they are at school, especially the McLandfill. It gets tricky when they spot them at the school fair though...

Yes dd1 would happily give everything to dd2, but it doesn't help. It's worse because dd2 is not tidy and leaves stuff everywhere!

When we moved house I sorted out some of the dc's old toys whilst they were at school and took some to the charity shop. Following week did a sort out with ds and he agreed on a few things that he had outgrown and he came with me to take them to the same charity shop. Cue ds going "oh look Mum, I've got that game and I've got that puzzle too"

Hey phdlife how's life?? Long time no see, hope you're well x

hey wellies, I heard a rumour that you've recetnly had another dc - is that right?

Hi phd, well, um, sort of but not quite right...I lost one last autumn but am now just waiting for the dating scan on tuesday as I'm 11 wks.

oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie - originally lissie thought it was me who was pg, then she thought you, so maybe she was really really mixed up!

fingers crossed for you this time. you still in that city where we met? when're you coming to visit me?

Yes, still here, but hopefully moving in the summer. DH just doing a PGCE so job huunting nationwide!

Still saving up for that visit Pesky real life keeps claiming the money, though

how're your gorgeous kids?

it's been a ghastly week for the dc's - GCSE woke up at 3am on Tues with croup, of all frickin' things - who knew they could still get it at nearly 5? Not me, that's for sure - then woke in the morning with savage cough, slight temp, "jackhammer in his throat", headache, I was a bit stupid optimistically thought it was just a severe cold and didn't take him to doc - only he was still poorly and doing awful cough so by Saturday he was in to doc's getting AB's "to hopefully stave off pneumonia" .

Meanwhile Baccalaureate, not to be outdone, has been low-grade-temping off/on all week, except for Thurs night around 11pm when it spiked up to 39.1 and forgetting what she does with high temps I dosed her with paracetamol, only for it to be vomited all over herself/my bed 20 mins later. So most nights I've been having to ambush her and jam suppositories up her butt to manage fever. Fun! And then there was that morning when, around 6am, I'd just passed out got back to sleep when she arrived back in my room packing biggest stinkiest poo in history. Which I changed while still asleep. Saturday night after we'd been to doc's for ds, she too woke up at 2:30am making awful weird strained-breathing sound, somewhere between wheeze and croupy cough with very bad laryngitis, only I was so sleep-addled (besides all of the above, her daily wake-up time, in sickness and health, is 4:30am) I couldn't figure out what to treat or how so rang the national health number and by time we'd figured out "take to hospital" was best option, she suddenly sat up and said, "I can talk properly now, mummy". But by the time we both got back to sleep it was 4am and lo, she wanted her 4am bf. And her 6am bf. And... well, you get the picture.

Other than that, they're just dandy. Too clever by half, waaaaaay too articulate, yakkety yak blah blah blah 16hrs a day, full of some stubborn hot temper from somewhere , spirited, intense, strops and kisses in equal measure, absolutely hilarious (dd, at not quite 3, has begun replacing the nouns in nursery rhymes with the word "poo". As in, "the maid was in the garden, hanging out the poo, when down came a blackbird and pecked off her poo" - no? ah, well, perhaps it was the delivery - naked, whilst jumping on a trampoline, except she laughed so hard at her own with she had to sit down.)

You/yours?

I never feel guilty about this, round it up, in the wheelie bin, if they ask it's probably in the loft with all the other lost toys (we do also have a dolls house and some other bits genuinely up there), they forget in minutes. DCs 6 and 5.

I am obviously a bit more precious about much loves cuddlies etc... Broken / kinder egg / happy meal toys be gone....

I want a rumpus room now too. What do you do in there?

Ds2 does exactly the same!!! Poo is added to every song here too! "Old MacDonald had a poo etc" or "If you're poo poo and you know it do a poo" and so on.

Sounds like you've had an awful week, poor you and them! Are the ABs working?

For artwork, I have condensed 3 large boxes down to the size of my little finger nail!!!

How?

I have a (cheaper than iPad)tablet, which has a 16Gb micro-sd card in it. I have photographed (with the tablet built in camera) all the artwork, first writings that I couldn't bear to throw away from when my DC were little, and stored the photos on the card.

All the originals are now binned, but I, the children and maybe their children can look at them whenever they want, they won't deteriorate, and I don't have to store the boxes!

Have also started photographing paperwork, and have more than halved the amount of paper I store.

My DCs are like elephants, they never forget! I've found out to my cost that the minute I chuck some old toy out that they never play with, they will remember it and want to play with it! So I get them to help me - anything decent goes to the charity shop, everything else recycled/binned. DH tries to emply a one-in, one-out policy so we get them to have a big clear out before Xmas and birthdays so that there will be room for more toys