Okay so I have a whole house to declutter by Monday but...

[D0oinMeCleanin]

I am at work tonight. I am at work tomorrow day and night. I am at work Saturday day. I have promised the dc ice-skating on Sunday.

The nice lady from SS is coming to take things to the skip/charity shop/rag shop for me on Monday dinner time.

I need to sort through toys, clothes, un-needed doggy paraphenalia (although the dog charity will come and collect them from me when they drop off food)

I also still need to do dog walking, school runs, homework help, general keeping on top of things cleaning, cooking, gut the kitchen and bathroom and re-build the kitchen cuboards and re-tile the bathroom, although the last bit doesn't need to be done by Monday, it would be nice if it could be done soonish

I brought this on myself she asked how I would feel more supported and I replied "Having less stuff to have to tidy up would be nice". I'm an eejit.

You have all day today though! Look at your list practically - you aren't going to gut the kitchen and bathroom etc by Monday are you??!!

So that leaves the toys, clothes and doggy stuff to sort out, on top of the usual stuff.

When is the dog food being dropped off? That gives you the timescale to sort out those items.

Then perhaps your list to do seems much more achievable, no?

Why has all this got to be done?

Why don't you cancel the ice-skating and ask the children to help instead.

How are you going to gut the kitchen and bathroom and rebuild the kitchen cupboards, that just sounds mad.

If it's SS making judgements about you, why not get a couple of rooms done properly and cleared out, and then explain your plan for getting the rest done. You need to be realistic.

Please take this in the nicest possible way but just get on with it then at the very least you can say you did your best.

Put the radio on music/talk whatever you prefer, roll up your sleeves and feel smug about doing a job you've probably been putting off. You will feel better for doing it rather than procrastinating (I am the queen of procrastination).

It doesn't have to be done Boston. But I have no car so having someone offer to take all this stuff out of my way is something I don't want to miss out on and the lady only has Monday she could do it.

The bathroom, re-building the kitchen by Monday idea was silly. I have forever to do that, realistically.

I'm gonna finish my coffee and go and start sorting through the clothes which will sort two jobs in one. Less washing to do. Stuff to be gone. out of my way never to be seen again.

Then I will do the toy cuboard.

My Dad is taking my dogs for me today with his, so that's that sorted.

I had a wee panic for a while and did my little martry dance. I feel better now.

I also have all day Monday and a few hours between shifts on Friday when my mum is off who does have a car and will help. Food is arriving when the rescue have time but all the dog stuff is waterproof so can be hidden in the outside cuboard.

At some point soonish I'm gonna board out the loft and throw loadsa stuff up there.

This actually getting enough sleep to feel able to do try and get in control of stuff is not all it's cracked up to be, tbh. I think I preffered only half awake-too tired to notice- Zombie mode

Don't put stuff in the loft, get rid.

Have you seen this website?

www.squalorsurvivors.com/

Don't be put off by the name, it's for people who are feeling overwhelmed by what they have do do in their house.

Where's your husband in all this?

Have you got enough binbags/boxes to put all the stuff you're getting rid of it.

I'd love to get rid but most of the stuff I want gone/hidden is either not mine or is stuff we need like X-mas trees, suitcases, Dh's tent (we don't camp and even if we wanted to we don't drive so that kinda puts a dampner on his "We could just pack and go one weekend if we had a tent" idea), Dh's golf clubs, Dh's guitar etc. etc.

My husband is as useful as a choclate teapot. He causes the vast majority of the mess and stress and he was responible for the previous lack of sleep and caused my get and go to get up and go when he moved in with in his snoring and sleep aponea which allowed things to slip to the point of not being able to move without tripping over useless stuff.

We are hardly How Clean Is Your House bad, it's not really a CP issue, nor even a SS issue. I invited SS in to help us with other stuff we are struggling but the lady offered to help because she could see I felt down about other things and felt unsupported. She can't physically force His Arseholiness to help more so she offered to help by helping me get rid some of the stuff that is always in my way.

Nothing bad is going to happen if it's not done.

If SS are offering help you need to take it sadly. They don't get involved in families where they don't think there are problems.

Why are you still with him though? I've just had a look at your other threads. You were leaving at Christmas.

Also if you're tripping over stuff, then it is bad, even if it's not the worst.

That Squalor Survivors site has different grades of mess:

"First degree squalor
You are getting behind in tasks that you would normally manage, like laundry and dishes. You are not the tidy person you once were. Little piles are starting to emerge and your disorganization is starting to affect your life and inconvenience you. Things are just starting to get out of hand and become unmanageable. A sign of first degree squalor could be that you might be embarrassed for other people to see your mess...but you would still let them in the house.

Second degree squalor
Now things are really starting to get out of hand. Signs that you have reached second degree would include losing the use of normal household items like your bed, table, television or telephone, because the piles have expanded to cover the items up. You start to develop new methods of moving around your house, as normal movement is impeded by your piles of stuff. You might start making excuses to discourage people from entering your house.

Third degree squalor
At this stage, you have all the above, plus you have rotting food and animal faeces and/or urine in the house, and this is the rule not the exception. You cannot cope with the growing mess. Essential household repairs may not be done, because you are too afraid to let a tradesperson see your house. Just the thought of someone seeing your mess causes you great stress.

Fourth degree squalor
At fourth degree squalor, you have all of the above, plus you have human faeces and/or urine in your house that is not in the toilet."

I am going to take the help offered. Technically she is not with SS. She is a trained social worker but is currently with a parenting support team that the school put me in touch with wrt the children's behaviour. I had a choice to take up the offer or not. This isn't something that we've had pushed on us or been reported for. It's something I asked for because I could see that things with the dc were not as they should be. Dd1 is being placed on a confidence building scheme thingy and dd2 is being reffered to CAHMS for possible SN/behavioural issues.

I am going to be attending counselling and parenting classes and wanted His Arseholiness to join me for couples counselling to try and help things. He doesn't seem to think that we need it and has refused both bereavement counselling and the couples counselling and parenting classes. He is happy to meander on as he is.

We let things slip a lot when everything started going wrong, mainly with routines and clutter rather than actual, proper, grimey dirt and neglect. Floor are mopped, washing up is done and the children have clean clothes and are bathed and fed daily. Unless you open a cupboard things look okay on the surface.

We do need help to get back on track. I am more prepared to grab onto that help with both hands. If it ultimately leads to me having the support and confidence to leave, well, he only has himself to blame for that and I will honestly be able to say that I tried.

Right. Am off to tackle Mount Unworn Clothes. I will be back in half an hour to take a breather before tackling The Hell That Was Previously Known As The Toy Cupboard

If you have a Toy Cupboard, why not thrown everything from the cupbpoard onto the floor, and add into that all your DCs toys from everywhere around the house. Only keep what you can neatly fit back into the cupboard.

I now have one bag of clean clothes ready to be charity shopped and one bag of clothes and shoes that need cleaning to be charity shopped. I will sort through that bag on Sat night with some vino.

I am going to put off the toy cuboard for fifteen minutes or so and do this morning's washing up and stick a load in the washer.

Then it is the hell that this is the toy cuboard and I intend to be brutal. There is no need at all for one little girl to have 6 half naked dolls. 2/3 clothed dolls is fine I feel.

I've been just looking at that squallor site . I think I can safely say we are at level 0 squallor. More slight organised chaos stage. Or too much stuff not enough space stage.

Toy cuboard is halfway done. Funnily the volume of stuff I have bagged ready to go is larger than volume of the cupboard itself . I am clearly very good at stacking un-needed things very compactly

I'm feeling very in control of it all now and it will be done by Monday. The kitchen units will also be repaired by Monday.

I'm going to go back to the toys now my lunch break is over. I estimate this will take me until around 2:15pm which will leave me with 45 mins or so to do a superficial tidy and clean of the dining room, kitchen and bathroom which is do-able.

Gutting the kitchen and bathroom will have to be done on my next full day off which is Monday. Re-decorating can be done next week sometime. I think I should point out that by 'gutting' I mean cleaning grout work and cuboard shelves, inside the oven etc, not scraping shit, used toilet paper and mouldy food off of the walls and floors

First degree squalor here. Edging into 2nd in ironing/ dumping corner of kitchen.
Need to sort myself out!!

Join me in a massive Spring Clean with ample break allowances Sunflowers

I massively underestimated the amount of time it would take to put all the toys we are keeping back in the cupboard and in hindsight perhaps emptying whole boxes of Peppa Piga and Polly Pockets all over the floor was not the brightest idea I have ever had It did help me find lots of 'scrappy' plastic toys like MaccyD toys etc. and helped me see that we have several million of the same thing. I mean how many bath tubs does one tiny plastic pig need?

Never mind, His Arseholiness will have to do the normal daily 'back of house routine' while I am at work.

I got bored of picking up tiny bits of plastic shit so have come down for my dust pan and brush and I'm going to bin what's left now I have seprated out Peppa's various bits and bobs from all of the crap.

Dooinmecleanin - how are you getting on? I really need to join you on this one. Like you, I work a lot and when I'm not working I'm tidying and cleaning but regardless the place is constantly a tip I'm getting really overwhelmed and am totally knackered.

Came to the conclusion too that I just have way too much stuff. Have to declutter. (although I don't want to get rid of anything really )

Am off today as ds is just out of hospital and I took this week off. Have until Monday to work wonders. Am starting by trying to gut kitchen today too and will get dh up into attic later to put up baby equipment (stationary entertainer/ bouncer etc) that smallest dd2 is now finished with as they are taking up way too much room.

Playroom is currently a joke - can't see floor with toys. Can I ask how you decided which toys to charity shop etc? I keep thinking that although dd1 is out of x toy, dd2/ds might like it next year and so on but there's just too much. How much do they really "need" or how did you decide this?

I know I am not having any more kids and they play with similar type things so it was easier to decide what goes, plus we seemed to have varients of the same things e.g 4 or 5 dolls went, but we kept three dolls. Dd2 likes playsets we seem to have every Peppa Pig play set ever created. Peppa now only has one house, one car and one playground. She used to have two houses (lucky pig) and several cars and two playgrounds. I got rid of the barbie playsets and the polly pocket ones and kept only the Peppa and My Little Pony ones as they're used the most.

It's easier for me because they don't tend to play in much. We live directly opposite a park and there are loads of children of similar ages who live in this area so they all play out together, meaning most of our toys don't get used. When they do come in it's inevitibly with a friend or 3 and they make use of the Kinnect or art stuff.

I haven't done anything at all today and doubt I will get time due to family and pet commitments along with work but DH is going to take the dc swimming tommorrow to give me time to get cracking with general cleaning and tidying. De cluttering is starting again on Monday but I've done all the clothes and toys. I got through that yesterday.

I need to join you DOinMeCleanin. Moved a box from no go area in kitchen and shoved it in teetering pile of stuff in cupboard under stairs. 'Path' now though clutter problem not solved!

Bit worried by 'Degrees of squalor' list. Certainly got no faeces on floors so not a 3 yet.
Oh the shame .

Turn meter readers away sometimes as meters under stairs and they have to wait for ages if they come in for me to find them .

We've moved from level 0 to level 1 after the declutter but that is because the clutter that was once hidden in cuboards is now stacked in corners in black sacks and I didn't get to do my usual running around picking up rubbish and mopping up paw prints and muddy child prints due to decluttering.

There is no excrement of any description, so I think we are safe for now

Oh I turn meter readers away because the meter is not only in cuboard but in a cuboard in the room the dogs spend much of their time in and they never fail to knock during my lunch so I would have to leave my lunch to round up and move/contain the dogs, take the sledge, cat box, Vax, Dyson, Mop, sweeping brush, spare dog bed, dog food sack, scooters etc. out of the cuboard to see the meter and all while the cat is munching on my lunch