Decluttering efforts thwarted by hoarding DH

[2kidsintow]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I get tidying. I am ruthless (while he is in bed and therefore unable to see the crap precious items that I am binning that have been in the drawer unseen for over 10 years).

Then I am careless and leave the bin bag where it can be found.

Cue cries of "What's this shite beloved thing doing in the BIN?"

I did honestly answer "Because it is shite!" but don't think I convinced as he has now saved several items from the bin bag.

At least the rest of the tat went though.

:) Keep going - you got rid of lots of tat! A few steps back won't halt your overall efforts.

Just be more careful as to where you stash it ;)

this sounds like my DD!

i've (finally) converted my Mum to de-junking!! . Recently we've got rid of bags full of things, as i type this there's one waiting to be taken to the charity shop tomorrow. Just keep going!!

Carry on! Otherwise you will end up like my lovely MIL, she is still trying to convince FIL who is now 64 to get rid of his engineering text books from when he was at college when he was 18.

Apparently he may need them someday

Unfortunately like father like son, although I never ask my DH if he still needs stuff. If we have carted the same cardboard box from house to house and it has never been unpacked how on earth can we need it?

I binned out his Uni text books some time ago (he left Uni 15 years ago) let's hope he doesn't need to refer back to them

Hmm, am I the only person who thinks it's not ok to throw out other people's things.

No, I agree chipmunk.

Sympathy here
I have sweated hours and hours emptying MIL loft (council will insulate for free)
5 large skips I kid you not. they moved house 18 years ago and I have thrown out unpacked boxes.
All that is left up there is DH stuff.
It is NOT going in my loft.

We have boxes of dh's hoarded crap. I've sorted it and packed it all into as small a space as possible. The boxes are neatly stacked on shelves in the garage where they don't get in my way and are all neatly labelled with the words "junk for the children to throw out after we die" in large black letters.

I did throw out about 10 binbags worth - I put them in front of the telly and told him what day I intended to take them to the tip. He did start to sort through them but even he admitted that we didn't need to keep a Christmas card that the milkman gave us in 1998.

Its not ok to throw out other peoples stuff. It is also not ok to expect to use vast amounts of the space in a family home to store your rubbish, if it means that other family members have less space to live in.

I just felt reading the thread about how I would feel if dh went through my things and threw them away, because he decided they were junk. [devastated]

I appreciate that it would be annoying to have a partner who did not throw things out, (dh always gets a receipt when he uses the cash machine and keeps them for years, he keeps the boxes for everything 'just in case'. ) but they could be boxed up and put in the loft/shed. You could tell him that he needs to deal with it, by sorting and chucking or by aquiring storage of some sort. Still I would not throw them out.

It's my insurance against him deciding my Neds atomic dustbin tshirts should go in the bin.

labelled with the words "junk for the children to throw out after we die"

very good idea. but I bet they rummage through it anyway.

I keep trying to get through to my DH as well; the house is so hard for me to keep clean because there is crap everywhere. If truth be told then I am a hoarder too BUT I do throw/give stuff away and a couple of big bags went recently. But I am heartily sick of getting rid of MY stuff only for him to fill the gap.......

I feel your pain starfish mummy! I clear space in cupboards so that they are actually orderly and usable. The next time I go in DH has dumped a load of crap bike parts on the cupboard floor, or hung more crap bike wheels (just how many does one family need???) behind the door so they hit me in the face when I walk in .

Married for coming on 4 years and constantly whining at DH to tidy up after himself. For a couple of months now, I have consistently collected his stuff from various dumped places around the house into a bin bag, and dumped in his wardrobe - a compromise in my head that I wasn't discarding his stuff, but I wasn't tripping over it all over the house either. 5 to 6 bin bags later (a lot of stuff and paperwork) when wardrobe doors could barely be closed, a miracle happened on tue afternoon when he cleared it all out.

Lovely DH to be rewarded henceforth with me putting away his cleanly laundered clothes, where before they got dumped on bedroom floor in disgust of having nowhere to put them. And also a nag-free weekend this weekend!

So recommendation is gathering his stuff and dumping bagging it in his exclusive zone. It bothered me to think I was doing his job of clearing up his stuff, but I knew it bothered him more when every time he asked where something might be I answered bin bag in wardrobe and I was rewarded with a reasonably tidy house. Note of warning, just make sure he's not in a position to return the compliment, and that your stuff is squared away!

I had the "would you rather have me or the stuff" talk before we moved in together

I had no concerns about him having two sons but I was terribly worried about his appearing to be a hoarder!