How do you encourage a toddler to start to learn about tidying?

[Arabella36]

I have a toddler who is almost 2, as well as 2 younger babies. I'd like to get into good habits from the start in terms of encouraging her to be reasonably tidy. My DH says his mum did everything for the family housework-wise despite working FT, and when she eventually asked him + his sibling to start helping when he was a young teenager it was a bit late as bad habits had already formed. I'm not a natural housekeeper but I do like to keep things reasonably tidy most of the time. Is it too early to think of this or not? What would your tips be?

Turn it into a game. When mine were little we used to play Cinderella quite a lot.

thats a good idea thanks sandstorm

We had lots of baskets and every evening we used to see who could tidy up the quickest. Also did the same with dirty washing in the laundry basket!

I just actively encourage him to help tidy up - pass him things to put away, ask him to put things into the bin/wash basket. It does mean things take 6 times longer but at least he is getting the idea.

I also have a "one puzzle at a time" rule so he knows to put one away before he gets a new one out.

He is 2.1

thanks sirzy and valium, I appreciate the tips:)

Could you make it accepted practice that dirty clothes go into the basket, toys get tidied away? the same way that we make handwashing after using the toilet accepted practice.

Also you could do the narrating your life thing "mummys and ds are going to CLEAN UP NOW then we can watch your dvd"

"mummys going to have a shower now SO THE DIRTY CLOTHES GO IN THE BASKET" obv not shouting at him though, just A is happening so that B can happen next.

My dm taught me to change beds at 10 by simply not doing it herself and waiting for me to ask for clean sheets. My half brother still expected his bed made by my dad at 16 so she wasnt having a repeat of that.

Sil tried to start enforcing tidiness at 15 with her ds, didnt work.

That sounds good fluffy , I think I'll try the narrating trick to get the message across, thanks for that. That's so funny about how your mum taught you about changing sheets - pretty clever approach really!

Love the cinderella idea. Might appeal to my dd! I also narrate a lot, one of the things that makes me look as if I am teetering on the edge. which of course I am not...

We try and tidy as we go along but if it has been one of those days we put the tidy up song on at around 5pm....whatever their favourite song is everyone has to stop what they are doing and tidy up as much as they can for the duration of the song.

also for good habits my dd has always loved sorting washing into piles based on colour (doesn't save any work obviously as I always check. but it keeps her busy and teaches her). She also likes pressing the buttons on the machine (though mine has a childlock function I can use just in case she fancies some independent play)

Thanks putyourhaton I like the tidying song idea and it shouldn't be too hard to motivate kids to tidy for such a short time.

I think that sounding like a nutter comes with the territory when you're a parent! I've found myself singing twinkle twinkle walking along supermarket aisles with a baby to stop them crying. Never thought I would see the day I would do that!

The best thing I found was having the storage sorted out. DSS1 was hopeless (to be fair his father was pretty bad and his mother, um... lives with piles of clutter) until I bought him a couple of drawer sets from Hobbycraft. Each Lego set etc has its own drawer and he can bring one downstairs, play with it then it's ready to go back.

For DSS2 we have a few solutions such as the noisy bag (a mini suitcase where everything that makes a noise lives*). Keeping things by category was what worked with his 2yr old brain (his age when I started).

• Yes this is so I can hide it. I am truly evil.

DD is 2.2 and has been "helping" since she could crawl (literally). She used to crawl around the airer with the socks, hanging them on the lowest rung (in her own fashion), take her dirty clothes to the laundry basket & take DP's clean underwear from the airer back to the bedroom (they'd get dropped frequently, hence why I never gave her mine to do!). Now, she's good at putting things in the bin (sometimes a bit too enthusiastic!), loves using a feather duster (and is the perfect height for skirting boards), passes me pegs when I'm hanging washing outside (also practices numbers and colours as I'll ask for three blue pegs or something), picked up leaves in the autumn, tries to help make the bed etc. Pretty much anything. Where possible, I involve her in the cooking too.

As for her room & toys, we tidy up as we go along to an extent and definitely before bed. She knows this is expected so usually gets on with it quite willingly. Sometimes, she's not in the mood so we make it into a competition or some other game. This can involve me doing 90% of it but I never let her get away without doing at least something. Whilst doing this, she sings a dreadful song that she learned at nursery which goes "tidy up time; tidy up time; toys away; toys away; everybody helping; everybody helping; toys away".

I am really looking forward to her being old enough to do the dishwasher as I HATE emptying the dishwasher and DP always seems to "forget".

Thank you for those last two replies, I have only just spotted them. Sounds like starting early is the way to go. It should be worth the extra time it takes now to have helpful kids later (I sound like such an optimist!)- Thanks for all the useful ideas everyone

My boys are 5 and 2 and have 'helped' for as long as I remember. They now automatically put rubbish in the bin and put their used crockery in the dishwasher, as well as make their beds (not to my standards, obv) and open their own curtains in the morning.

How did you achieve that lorelilee? That's amazing!

I think that constantly asking them to do things for themselves, rather than doing things for them, is the way to go, even if it seems more laborious to begin with to ask them than to do it.

Yes Bonsoir, that's good advice, it's hard to resist the temptation to do things quickly yourself without their "help". I'll make an effort to do that, thanks

mine have all helped out as soon as they became mobile, obviously they dont know they are helping but i always encouraged them to tidy up as we went along, put away toys before getting others out etc, even a small baby can help put bricks in a basket, my dd is 13mths and she will help put toys away in boxes, not always the right boxes but she def helps tidy them away! all my boys tidy up after themselves, with some encouragement/nagging. with 5 there is no way in a million years i am tidying up after them all, in our house the rule is 'we all make the mess so we all help tidy up' simple!