Part 2 - If you're house is cluttered and you're Mad as a Hare, join March Fledgling Flyers and get it all square

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

This is the second March Fledgling Flyers thread, all newcomers are welcome.

This is the thread that follows the Flylady website (loosely) for getting your home decluttered and your housework into routines, whilst dispensing tea and chat freely.

We have a fairly relaxed attitude to Flying and take some of the babysteps - such as getting dressed to lace-up shoes - with a pinch of salt. We also strongly advise against signing up for the FlyLady emails.

We will be following Flylady's tips on restoring order to our homes, using one of the following methods:

1. Babysteps
2. Babysteps + 15 mins daily decluttering
3. Babysteps + daily missions

Following the babysteps helps to establish daily routines and build a weekly plan.

If you are overwhelmed by the mess in your home, start with just one thing: shine your sink. It's amazing what you can achieve by just doing a bit at a time!

DH announced that he was in a decluttering mood this morning - he's already tidied up the garden shed and is now on his way to Vienna with a car load of clutter (we suddenly realised that there was somewhere we could take it after all - the Anglican church has a second-hand shop). I've thrown away two bags of stuff that weren't good enough for charity and plan to tackle the hot spot that is the stairs down into the cellar as soon as I've finished my .

The DC are constantly demanding food this morning (they've just eaten eight pears and two apples) but at least I've managed to get them to switch off the TV - they had been playing outside, but have come in now as it's too cold and wet. DD2's friend is still here and her mum will be coming to pick up both of them plus DS this afternoon until tomorrow. DD1 will also be staying overnight with a school friend, so DH and I are off into Vienna this evening to try out another Indian restaurant.

DH has just phoned to say he's on his way home but has decided to stop off at ToysRUs to look at Playmobil for the DC for Easter. What's wrong with a chocolate egg each? (Unfortunately we have to keep up with the neighbours' DC, who - according to DD1 - are getting a mountain bike, some Nintendo games and a pond for Easter.)

scatty I'll join you on not buying any new books until I've read all those I've got - I counted them for another thread recently and I have 27 still to read. Fortunately I'm rarely tempted by anything in the shops here in Austria; shopping online (on UK websites) is a different story, however. Which reminds me that I still haven't placed the second (smaller!) part of my Lakeland order.

Morning all, lazy morning here too, brought on by copious consumption of last night . A night out with a bunch of mum friends from school to celebrate a birthday, was very enjoyable, but I am still feeling a little delicate.

DH has taken the DCs to swimming lessons. We had a polite showdown in the week about his lack of contribution to the running of the household. I have always done the lions share, even in the pre DC days when we both worked full time, one thing we have always done is take it in turns to do the evening washing up. When I was made redundant 18 months ago and decided to SAHM, I ended up doing up all housework, all food shopping, all shopping for stuff for DCs (clothes etc) all cooking (well about 95%) all childcare, all paperwork, finances etc, all tradesmen, all general house and car maintenance, all organising the DCs activities etc. The only thing DH kept doing was the washing up every other night. It was his night on Thurs, I went to bed, came down in the morning (I get up first and organise the DCs breakfast, packed lunches etc) and it was all there unwashed. I was not happy, especially as I have been back at work since Jan, albeit only 3 mornings a week. So, he is remorseful and going to try and do more. I will believe it when I see it. Trouble is he just never thinks to do any of it unless I ask, then I feel like a nag. Would I be unreasonable to suggest he does the washing up every night for a start? How can I tackle this?

Rant over. Need to go and stick some washing on. My head is spinning a bit.

Ditto what Ellie said (minus one dc)

Have had a very (in words of dd) "flobberty" morning. Dh is out doing his new exercise regime having insisted on cooking home made fish and chips for supper last night, and cooking us all eggs and bacon this morning . I am weak. My scales are creeking. I can see that in order to fit in to any summer outfit I am going to have to (a) hurt dh's feelings or (b) take over all cooking myself (which he will complain about).

My wm and dw are on but we are not even dressed yet as dd and I have had a two-hr Hama-bead fest. At least 20% of them are on the floor.

To do:

shoe polishing
wash and dress
s&s
tidy up of downstairs
tidy upstairs
hang washing out, new load on
then school uniform wash
office laundry
put ironed clothes away
name tapes and hemming
buy free-standing metal drawers
buy pregnant friend present
banking
quick food shop
buy dd socks
eat a lettuce leaf for supper

Have a wonderful evening tonight LadyinP
Hope you had a good evening yesterday PA
Ellie and Scatty know what you mean about counting pennies. All this Holy Communion stuff is costing a fortune. Dress fairly reasonable, but shoes + veil + headress thing + bolero + special socks + tights (in case) + present + catering for everyone afterwards + visitors = much more than I initially intended to spend. And don't have anything to wear myself yet.

Heigh, ho ... better get on ... the sun is still shining thankfully ...

Waves to all

Morning. feel like death. Not doing anything in way of flying except shoving hover around. and that is only because some one has lost fishing hooks on the carpet Late night last night, not enough sleep but very enjoyable. Busy afternoon and evening planned. i feel the need for a nap tbh. Not sure that i am going to get one though. Have just discovered that because i have no birthday's on my calander I need to get a birthday card before sunday evening and get it written. Thankfully discovered in time though.

I am reserving a spot in the naughty corner for monday because having averaged about 3 1/2hrs for the last too nights i will be sleeping all of monday. not sure that tonight will fair much better tbh. although 5 hours atm seems excessive. At least last night was because i was having too much fun to sleep rather then the amazing non sleeping child and chores.

Oh and i lie i have done a load of washing this morning. hmm.

linzer I am very lucky as ds has declared playmobile for babies. So we are only cursed with mountains of lego. I am also grateful to him taking up hockey which means instead of toys etc he is getting money toward kit and lessons etc. expensive sport but I'd rather that then mountains of unplayed with toys tbh.

Ellie See you monday

erm... erm... Sorry brain fade and crazy child must dash.

Urgh - sorry about typo - that should have read creaking

Rant alert. Can't believe it. Dh is now cooking lunch! (Ricotta and broccoli pasta) I have come upstairs to avoid.
Fed up of constant shopping for food, cooking of food and clearing up of cooking of food. It takes up far too much of our life (and money). Yes, it's important to eat well but there is so much more in our life that needs attention right now (like the holes in the walls for example).

What is wrong with an apple and a piece of good (proper) cheese and some decent local brown bread for dd's lunch fhs? She won't starve.

Linzer yes - totally agree - I can't understand where this custom for presents at Easter has come from. DD gets an egg and perhaps the odd tiny fluffy chicken (10 for 1 Euro) and that's it! Hope the Playmobil your dh brings back is smaller in quantity than the stuff you have decluttered anyway!!

whoknows good for you for sticking up for yourself. Now you are both working again, can you write down your respective chores and pin it up somewhere so that your dh can see it? That way, there is no confusion, no arguments - he just checks on the list. AND - if he sees all the things that you do written down in black and white (all your responsibilities you have posted here) he will see that you are doing loads and loads and there can be no question of out of sight, out of mind.

Lost sorry you are so sleep-deprived atm. Hope both of us can avoid the naughty corner on Monday!

Right, must back away from the screen and get cracking. Husbands eh?? Harrumph.

ellipac sympathy for dh redundancy, that is very hard to bare (at least my economic situation is self inflicted ).

linzer at childfree night out. at neighbours easter toy haul!

whoknows A good night out is always worth a sore head imo. at dh. Mine the same, he'd live in a pigsty before he'd voluntarily clean.

stillchucking LOL @ flobberty.

lostinblackhole I too have an amazing nonsleeping child coming up to 6yrs now! (though I do get a bit more sleep than you, thankfully).

Successful shoe trip. Clarks shoes £10 cheaper . Strangely her feet have grown 2 widths since sept (but not longer). She does have the strangest body shape! Managed not to buy anythig else so did well.

Fish fingers burning!

SC and Scatty I really cannot blame ds this time. This weekend I am partying/seeing friends going out too much. So is completely self induced. have opportunity for a quick nap so going to grab it though.

Scatty my amazing non sleeping child is 6 yo now. i would either be dead or have commited murder due to the sleep deprivation if it wasnt for his sleep meds. He has only had them coming on 18mths now and the difference is amazing. Still doesnt sleep great but does at least sleep now.

I give up. We have all had cooked breakfast. DD and dh have had pasta for lunch. Dh has now gone out to buy a chicken for dinner tonight (I have already prepared veg soup) and is asking me what we are having to eat for lunch tomorrow.

Trouble is ...his cooking is too good ...

[SC runs and hides]

Scatty [makes note to check dd's foot width - they don't measure here]
Lost glad the sleep situation is improving a little at least

Oh SC you sound scarily miffed!!!

Evening was a bit of a wash out last night. We all felt rotten and had all gone because we thought we should, so we sat around without the energy for our general chitchat. On top of that I had scampi, but shock horror they had run out of tartar sauce. Now who on this planet can eat scampi without lashings of tartar???? NOT ME!!!

DH being very caring today as I mope around and swap between lolling on the sofa and crawling back to bed.

To do list today:
NOTHING!!
Dh out this evening
DD2 away for weekend
DD3 at boyfriends house
DS at sleepover
So me and DD4 here alone. I am looking forward to a quiet evening. Microwave meal and feet up on sofa in front of TV.

Ellie and Scatty I will scroll back and read your economy bits with interest. Ellie how is it going? Hope DH gets something soon. Is DD still going to the childminders, or is DH looking after her? Sorry if you have explained all before, but I have been finding the thread a bit long to catch up with if I have been awol for a few days.

DH received his bonus from work this week, so he is sat next to me on the internet getting all excited about his new bike, which he can now get. Apparently for 5 times the price of DD2's car sat on our driveway, you get a frame, then have to spend more money on peddles and wheels!! If I spent so much on a bike I would expect it totally motorised, luxury seat, probably to come with a chauffeur too.

Off for now, have a good day everyone,

PS: SC - You've probably said, but when is the communion??

Posting briefly before I get back onto the housework. Need to vacuum and get the next lot of washing on the line, while DS is clearing up his room. Have been doing mini rr's and WHBH so house is decent when DH arrives (should be sometime tonight). I was planning to do this in the morning, but DS fell off my bed and banged his head - no real damage, but a lot of crying and cuddles needed, then he fell asleep on me for 2 hours.

Morning routine done
Washing up done
S/s done
Lunch done
Wash patchwork fabric done
Handwashing done
Clean washing away done
Washing in machine done
Washing on line - just going to do
Make beds done
Dust and polish done
Sausages from freezer for tea done
Recycling done
Wash dusters done
Vacuum
Empty bins
Load washing machine tonight
Post letter in village
Playground with DS (if he gets his room sorted in time)
Make tea
Tea
Bedtime routine
Evening routine
Iron fabrics
Clean vacuum filters

Evening all. Very little achieved on my list. I did tidy downstairs, I did cook dinner and we went to the park for a couple of hours. Feck all else. Am now in bed mnetting because quite frankly i am knackered!

pa and scatty thanks for your concern re DH and redundancy. He wasn't made redundant as such as he is a self-employed joiner in the construction industry but the job he had been on since September finished and he has yet to find anything else. He's even tried looking for another line of work but nothing at the moment. To answer your question pa DC's are still going to the CM's because the moment I withdraw them I obviously lose my place and she is a fantastic CM who has had DS since he was 1 so she has been working with us for 6 years. Plus in DH's line of work, he could get a call asking him to start tomorrow and I need the childcare in place.

Essentially, this puts me in a position of paying roughly £200 a week for childcare I don't actually need. I know I do not get paid a particularly low wage but if you just take out childcare and mortgage that is a massive chunk out of my wages before I even begin to think about utilities, food , petrol etc. We don't get any benefits as I earn too much (damn you tories and your changes to tax credits), DH doesn't even get JSA as I earn too much. It sucks at the minute tbh. Yes we have a roof over our head etc. but making ends meet it pretty tough. Anyway, he has a week of work next week so hopefully that might lead to something else. Sorry to whinge, it just pees me off sometimes and leads to a lot of tension between DH and I as well.

So I am going to note any crafty ideas scatty has for saving money and am noting some in the realms of Mumsnet. I even abandoned my beloved Tesco today and went to Aldi. I was pleasantly surprised and it was dirt cheap. I bought some chocolate which is far niced that Cadbury's and half the price. Result .

Anway, enough whining from me. Am going to get off now. Really have got a busy day tomorrow. No lazing about for me. Up and clean house as should have done today. Prep veg as should have done today. DO washing as should have done today. All this however should lead to lovely lunch and afternoon with BF's and their DC's. They have 3 girls but the two youngest are the same age as our 2 and they play beautifully together whilst the DW's sip wine and the DH's talk computer geekness. Bliss!

See you tomorrow!

computer crashed (well I'd switched it off at power [doh!) so message gone awol this morning

SC as the Quangle Wangle said
To himself on the Crumpetty Tree
"Jam; and jelly; and bread;
Are the best of food for me!"

on the other hand he then notes that very few people visit

I agree with you anyway. Too much time spent washing up saucepans!

Scatty I'm very good at economical grocery shopping. (Pointless really as dh will spend the £40 I've painstakingly saved, on a Thai Takeaway and trip to pizzeria every fortnight) We only have one car as dh doesn't drive. Kids wear mostly secondhand clothes. I buy clothes I suppose, but not very smart ones. We never go out, or pay babysitters.
I think we spend a fortune on the following: building work, fruit, airfares to see both sets of parents, children's music classes, books, endless school shoes and trainers for children, tea and biscuits in cafes in parks, swimming pools and other places of leisure

Ellie I can see that is very frustrating re: CM and dh job
Whoknows definitely one chore for him rain or shine, whether you are working or not, especially if you have cooked a lovely supper night after night. Dh does dishwasher every morning that is HIS job. Can't say he has taken ownership of any other housework. He buys incidental groceries as he believes there will be no food in the house otherwise He will put occasional wash in and hang out. He will make up beds if there are no sheets on children's beds (ie: today when ds wet his bed) but otherwise it is a bit hit and miss. Definitely no admin or DIY or serious gardening, although good with kids! Most annoying defect is not driving or swimming, so I have to do all tip runs, all car outings, all scout pickups/drop offs, and all swimming.

SC still, Communion party is a day to remember despite the £. Dd is still trying on the veil a year and half later. She has a special box on top of wardrobe with photos, veil, workbooks and loves looking in it.

Good evening everyone

I have survived 2no birthday parties, was lovely actually only one child at each and I had lovely chat with lotsa mummy's.
Dw on
Wm on
Bed was made
Some tidying up
Chicken out freezer for tomorrow

Dh here varies he does what he thinks about but needs lotsa nagging which drives me bananas. Everything is always later which generally means forgotten about. He works almost 6/7 days a week
Including evenings so I try (fail) to not get onto him too much. But I work too either at home or at work so he doesn't get off lightly.
whoknows hope chat has effect that you need if not it's nag nag a d nag again!

Must check threshold for tax credits thx Ellie hope something turns up for dh soon. So difficult when worrying about money never mind anything else.

Tomorrows list

Carrot and coriander soup
Chicken in some chicken tonight sauce
home bless
Wrap dc up take them to a new play park
Hoover
Sweeping
Mopping

Have lovely days

Evening all,

Thank you all for your positive suggestions re DH and chores. In mitigation he does work very hard at his job and has to work evenings and weekends fairly regularly too, but it is galling that so often he just sits around either before or after work and watches while I rush round trying to do 10 things at once, or the same at weekends.

Ellie - sympathy for DH and his work plight, it seems to be a massive gap in the benefits system that self employed people can't claim in between periods of work. Can he not get contributions based JSA either then?

We've just been out to the cinema, DCs are at their grandparents. Finally got round to seeing the King's Speech, about two months after everyone else and very good it was too.

Sunday.

Babystep What's for Dinner?

Morning all! So far so good this morning!

Done:-
Wm on x 2
Washing up
Dining room cleaned/tidied
Living room tidied
Last night's Casualty watched

All achieved because ds is rather excited about church parade today and got up at stupid o'clock.

Morning all . Lovely and sunny here .

Sounds like a very productive early start ellie ds obviously put his clock forward!

Slow start here as dd up twice last night resulting in musical beds. DS only one to get a good nights sleep!

Hoping to go out for somesort of walk soon.

To do:
laundry
ironing
usual sunday night mayhem

Eh up me dearies ...

Sorry for eternal whinging yesterday. I am feeling my general elderly quangle-wangleness No particular reason - just ratty atm.

Shouldn't complain about dh as I know lots of people would love a dh who cooks all the time. It's just that we work together as well and he's my "boss" in the office and yet the reverse doesn't seem to be true at home so we are locked in eternal combat over control of the kitchen counters!!

So thank you Swan your Lear quote made me laugh - I am going to take up my runcible spoon and enter peace negotiations!!

Good to know also Swan about communion clothes still being worn and appreciated 18 mths later - special box idea (with photo album) sounds like an excellent idea. Your dd obviously had a day to remember!! We are really looking forward to it despite my moaning!!

Ellie Commiserations over £££££ cm and dh job situation. Very stressful for you both. I can see why it is really important to keep up continuity of care for your dc ...and you need the cm care anyway in order for your dh to be able to be available to drop everything at a moment's notice and start work. It's a catch 22. Wish you lived over here - there is a dearth of good joiners!! Hope things start to improve soon. You've put me to shame with your early start this morning btw. I am still in CBA mode.

Parties sound lovely Nettie - enjoy your Sunday

Ihate ouch at your ds's head. Hope he's ok.

PA sorry to hear your evening was marred by the lurgy. Agree that scampi without tartar is criminal! Hope you start to feel much better soon!! [Communion mid-May btw]

Thanks for round-ups and steps Whoknows you are doing sterling work on this thread

Right, dd has gone off to play with a friend and as I am never normally at home on a Sunday morning, I am going to try and use the time wisely and resurrect yesterday's list of which I did about half:

• today

brisk walk in fresh air to substitute for lack of riding
1 hour in home office
continue laundry
prep early dinner - roast chicken + veg
Holy Communion prep in English with dd
finish office laundry
sort ironed clothes/drawers
write letter to dd's teacher

Desperately trying to resurrect money saving tips (will try and find excellent previous Mnsnet thread)

Everything in the supermarket seems to be expensive atm: food, cleaning products and toiletries.

I think meal planning (despite dh's best efforts at sabotage!) really helps with the budget and I always, without fail, buy and cook seasonal fruit & vegetables although that means eating humungous amounts of apples and cabbage in Belgium in winter! And we've cut down on meat consumption - veggie day Thursday - thinking of expanding to two days a week .... Also fish on Fridays ... if you make home made fish fingers for example one good piece of cod easily fed three of us .. + a bit of egg and breadcrumbs...

Finally, I don't buy many expensive cleaning products except bleach gel. Usually just use washing up liquid, bicarb of soda, white vinegar etc etc like Aggie & Kim! Don't use fabric conditioner or those paper things for tumble drying or air fresheners or scented candles or anything wierd and wonderful like that.

Clothing: sounds boring is boring but I wear a sort of uniform and stick to only one or two colours. That way, everything matches everything else, and you can incorporate clothes from three or four or five or six seasons back.

Sorry for the essay.... stlll pondering ... back later/tomorrow

Huge waves to all

Decluttering day today! Started in the dining-room yesterday and am tackling our messy bedroom today. DH is taking loads of stuff to the dump. He and Mum tackled the garden yesterday, which is looking respectable at last.

Later, DH and I are going out for lunch and leaving mum to look after the children.

Mum is going home tomorrow. WAAAAHHH!

x posts - waves to Scatty!

I posted earlier but it's gone! Never mind. DCs are still at their GPS, so I'm going to tackle Mount Washmore and Mount Filemore (including census form). Also go for a run and go to Sainsburys. See you later.

forgot the clocks going forward and consequently DD has lost her 1-1 swimming slot this morning. Anyone else forget???

Party was lovely last night and saw lots of friends I hadn't seen since new years party. DD had kids to play with too but got very tired so we had to leave earlier than planned. Probably just as well as she would have had even less sleep than usual with this forward clock malarky.

ellie sorry to hear about your DH job

Shame your evening didn't go as planned PA sometimes it goes like that but the next meet up will be like normal i bet.

Going to make the most of the sunshine today and go for a bike ride or walk somewhere pretty

See you all later

My mum has just rung to say that when we visit for Easter hols she will be away for most of it on a cruise in Turkey and could we feed cat for her ?[hmmph] She has just been on holiday! Toffee

Dh has taken ds1 and dd out to buy some trousers for ds1 and mindful of this thread I have told him he is not allowed to have lunch out or buy anything for dd, but has to come home for what I've meal planned [whatever that is

Despite clearing house frantically yesterday for some teatime guests, the kitchen looks as usual - crumbs, mud and coffee grounds.

Ds2 has just given me a kiss. So I had better turn off the computer and chat to him...He is now chuckling..His big grin has revealed that he HAS NOT BRUSHED HIS TEETH THIS MORNING
bbl