you know you're a slattern when....

[BooyFuckingHoo]

you have to check which cup is the fresh tea before drinking.

(inspired by recent events)

who's next?

-You sniff the towels before washing.
-You know you should vacumn cos toddler 'hoovering' bits off floor.
-you have to push clutter to one side to prepare food in kitchen.
-Things fall out on your head when you open cupboards.

-You like a weeks warning before anyone comes over..
I won't go on....

...you can't remember if you washed the oven tray or if the dog licked it clean

the children know to put drink bottles back in EXACTLY the same place so the dust rings don't show.

...you are horrified by the kitchen when you wander in with glasses on (maybe I should start wearing them more often)

You can't remember when you last changed the sheets
You look after a friend's two-year-old for the day and he starts clearing up all the mess, putting stray socks in the washing machine, tidying anything in the living room into the toybox (this actually happened to me last week )
You feel bits sticking to your socks when you walk across the kitchen floor.

... a friend's child (aged 6) explains carefully how to vacuum the car (while gazing disparagingly at the mess).

What Offtonarnia said

You idly find yourself writing your name in the dust on the window sill..
You have to wash a cup up before you can make a cup of tea...

You find the toddler eating something you know you ran out of a fortnight ago. (Shreddie. Under the sofa.)

You eat your cereal out of a mixing bowl/oven dish/saucepan because you've run out of clean bowls...

The window cleaner says "well that's the windows clean on the outside anyway"......

my temporary cleaner ( broken leg so have good excuse) after cleaning woodwork in hall said "how long have you lived here?" Answer 5 years... She knew I'd never cleaned it before...

You shock the entirety of MN by confessing you change your sheets about twice a year.....

Your parents video your house to show their friends because they can't believe an adult can live in so much mess....

You can live in a flat without a kitchen for 5 years...

You don't do anything about the ceiling falling down in your kitchen for over a fortnight....

You live on a busy road with only a sheet over a plank of wood acting as a curtain for 8 years....when you're in your 30s....

your wardrobe is empty and the clothes are just chucked in a corner of the bedroom.

You can't find any clothes to wear because they're still all in the laundry basket or ironing pile

You find your child's lunch bag on Monday to put in the new packed lunch and find Friday's half eaten one festering inside.