Tidy house calmer kids?

[starrychime]

Not sure whether to put this here or Behaviour thread but here it is! Do you think that having an orderly house leads to better/less chaotic behaviour from kids? My flat is really a bit of a state - things seem to fall off surfaces just with me or DD walking past - bottles of shampoo off bath, clothes off their piles etc. DD (7) is turning into a cheeky madam and behaviour is getting worse which I guess might be fairly usual at that age but I wondered if anyone has found that having an orderly home has helped keep things calmer behaviour-wise?

I know I am calmer if my house is tidy and ordered but that's just me.
I used to love the big clear up before tea......

I don't know but personally I always feel calmer and more relaxed when my house is tidy.

I think if you are stressed then the dc are.
I tend to get very stressed if the house is a tip and I have loads to do and then the dc get stressed because of that.
Also if they can't find stuff and things are getting knocked over and the like then there is bound to be some stressful moments.

Housework is such a bloody neverending PITA.

Was talking about this with my teenage ds earlier. We moved last year and had a huge de clutter since we came here with lots less junk the house is always much tidier the ironing is up to date and tea is ready on time and washing up done. We are certainly far less stressed and seem to spend more time together and the general atmosphere is much calmer.

Years and years ago, by returning to work after being a SAHM it was called "streamlining". It just meant that the household ticked over with minimum effort. Having lots of toilet roll in situ was revolutinary! Get rid of the clutter, put things in cupboards if they are not in constant use etc. So much easier to clean. All the stuff in cupboards needs to be used up before buying more "stuff". In answer to OP, yes imo being orderly is beneficial because you can focus on what takes priority at any given time.

Having an orderly, uncluttered house definitely makes me feel calmer which in turn rubs off on DD. If the house is ticking over nicely and to my satisfaction then the whole household has energy to focus on other things. Note: I do minimum of housework each week (1.5 hours max) but because I am a ruthless declutterer, housework takes very little time. More time to play and relax for ALL of us :-)

If you have piles for things to be knocked off then I think it will definitely make things more 'stressful'

Can you do a great declutter and get rid of the piles?

yes have a clear out

teach your children to be neat

Jospeh Rowntree research and me, say yes! An organised house makes everyone happier. I have only had a tidy you can come for coffee when you want and I won't panic house since December and it's so much nicer!!

DCs can pick their own clothes, no piles of ironing or letters everywhere....I am a nicer Mummy, the evenings are longer too.

tidy house calmer mummy

I would say for me AS LONG AS THE HOUSE IS CLEAN, then Im happy enough if it untidy and it does not seem to bother my DS or DP if its not all 'uncluttered' and tidied anyway. There is no 'anyway' to put anything as we have no loft, under-stairs or cupboard space to put things away anyway (the joy of a flat).

The only part of my home that NEEDS to be tidy is the kitchen.

Personally if a house is all minimal and every thing has its place then I just feel on edge all the time and there is no way I could be like that in my own home and it would not be fair on my DS.

Depends on how far you take it - I was at school with a very nervy girl - turns out her mum was a super-uptight type who had to have everything in its place at all times. To the extent that this girl was not allowed to leave the book she was reading out of the bookcase - it had to go back in its place every time she put it down.

That's taking it too far.

I think it depends on the parents' attitude to untidiness to some extent - if the mum/dad are wound up by it, then the ambient stress levels in the house will rise and the DC will be affected by it.

Comfy home, where things aren't actively dangerous and no one is completely hyper about anything is probably a good balance for relaxed DC.

I think this is very much an each to their own issue, but I guess if the state of your home is stressing you out, then that could easily be affecting your daughter too.

I know for me personally, I prefer the house to be tidy. Then the kids can't complain they're bored as they know where everything they want to play with actually is iygwim and I have more time to be with them, rather than climbing over clutter.

Definitely.

I don't care how anyone lives in their own home and I have said often enough on here that as long as I can shift a pile of stuff so I can sit down and one of us can find the kettle - it's all good and I absolutely mean that - no judgement whatsoever.

However, a clean, tidy, clutter free home does run more smoothly, there's less stress and everyone is generally calmer.

A cluttered house makes for cluttered minds & emotions IMO.

I think that if anyone who says they love their cluter/mess and are happy to live like that, actually lived in a much tidier, less cluttered environment for a month - they'd change their minds.

I completely agree as a reformed messy person.

posieparker - how did you reform? Are you a flybaby??

Posie, what's your secret?

I'm not a flybaby, I've been getting in my own way for some time. My mother came to stay before Christmas for four weeks, she insisted ('cause I'm only 36!!) that I tidied up!

So we went through the whole house, with two black bags, one to throw and one to sort. I threw away lots.

Once it was tidy, I felt really happy and so thought, for the first time ever, that I'm leaving nothing. Nothing gets put in a pile it gets put away, I also find that I can always invite someone round without shoving stuff in cupboards or closing all doors!! The joy of not looking for everything every day is so worth it!

I know that I get stressed with a messy house but just can't get arsed around to de-cluttering.

Have a free week-end coming up so hopefully will be motivated to start clearing up then.

If you have dcs Gogo...get them to help, clear a draw, sort socks and pants, anything...mine did and with a lot less arguing and moaning than when they're left to play. the even competed to do jobs first, the best etc. Makes me rather ashamed that I didn't do it before, not to mention that they're all really tidy.

routine:

So when I get up I make my bed
After everyone's washed and cleaned teeth I clean the bathrooms,
when breakfast is eaten I wash up, have abandoned dishwahser as we leave stuff out.
All dcs make their own beds,
I wash all floors before I leave for school
Drop 3 at school(s)
Come home play with dc4 for half an hour, he's allowed to watch TV whilst I hoover because he gets upset,
Then I do twenty minutes of tidying (removing crap from every room armed with bag for life)
Play with dc4
Put everything in bag away with dc4, whilst we dust
Pick up dc3
lunch, pack it away and more time to bake/play/ whatever.

Pick up boys from school
Then dinner,
bath dcs
Brush through everywhere
Put all clothes out for morning, including my own!!
Relax
Bed....

Definitely true of a classroom, so I assume it must be the same for a house. Sadly this will mean dh and I having major character transformations as I am a perfectionist and can't cope with things being away but not in a sensible place and he neither notices nor cares, and we're both lazy. I think we need to up our game. Is it possible to start growing up properly in your mid-30s?