Help get my house livable again

[ImASlatternGetMeOutOfHere]

After a long term illness I really need to sort out the shit hole that is my house. There are 5 of us living here me, DH and my 3 DC (8,5&3). Every surface is covered in clutter and crap and paper work. The floors are covered in toys and what ever has fallen there. I am drowning in washing, there are airers of drying clothes everywhere and piles of clothes to put away and don't talk to me about the pile of socks that needs sorting into pairs. The washing up is pileing up and there is not emough work top space anyway. You don't even want to know about my bathrooms and downstairs loo.

I will have about an hour a day to do something, sometimes longer and sometimes less.

Where do I start. Heeeeyaaaalp!!

id start with dishes and kitchen then bathroom ,do it today then it should only take an hour a day to keep on top.
does your dh help out?

Can you afford to get a cleaner in to help you? If only for a one-off, to get you started.

well there's 2 (long running) threads in GH that you might want to join.

There's the fly thread - I personally never got on with it - although I do find the \link{http://www.flylady.net/pages/FLYingLessons_CrisisCleaning.asp\crisis cleaning} from her very good for, well, crisis cleaning

Then there's the listmakers thread - we plan our lists of things for each day and post them and update (and support and chat) as we go alng

Thank you girls.

wfrancis he helps where he can. He is out of the house 10 hours a day and deals with the DC when he gets home, bath, bed etc. then eats his dinner and gets on with work he has bought home and then goes to bed. He does do bits at the weekend but has had to look after me and the DC. He cleaned the oven on Sunday. Will start on the kitchen tomorrow but will see if I can get the dishwasher on a couple of times tonight.

comtessa unfortunatly I can't afford a cleaner even as a one off and I would be thoughaly ashamed to let anyone see the state of my house.

MaMoTTat I have failed several times with Flylady so feel it is not for me but I will have a look at the listmakers thread and see if it is something that will help. Though saying that the Crisis Clean may be good to kick start me. I have a full day Monday with no DC so would be able to get on with it.

Thanks once again, I feel like I am drowning in it all at the moment.

Don't try and tackle it all at once.
That is too daunting.
Start with a room at a time, possibbly the kitchen, and be ruthless.
Throw all the socks onto the floor for the children to play sock snap. The child who pairs the most could have a small prize.

The crisis cleaning is really good for kick starting I've found.

Although as I never got on with flylady I never bother with putting the shoes on thing

Your DC are all old enough to get them to help as well especially the 8yr old and 5yr old -

They can do anything - picking up rubbishm, putting toys away, sorting socks, taking plates/mugs to the kitchen. Dusting, even hoovering.

I felt like you when I went into dd's room last night. Who is 8, and her room had just been sorted/decluttered a week ago.

First I piled everything up in the corner to make myself feel better. Floor space.
Then I cleared some level surfaces. No sorting just piling up things in one big pile to make myself feel better.

Then I looked round, saw it was possible for the room to be tidy. And started slowly sorting whilst chatting to dd. Although my reaction was to start screeching Not perfection sorting, just bunging clothes in drawers, toys in toy area, rubbish in bin, laundry in basket.

I think that's how to deal with serious mess, do not attempt perfection at first. Make a space in each untidy room and pile up the mess on the edge. Then tackle individual piles of cr**p later instead of looking at generalmess and wringing your hands.

And follow Flylady decluttering rules to (see website)

Yes I agree with no aiming for perfection yet - just make sure everything ends up in/on/under the right place - you can organise and sort each "place" (but that a box under the bed, a kitchen drawer, a bookshelf or a cupboard under the stairs) later once everything is where it should be

Excellent advice from swanriver. I picked up a load of stuff from the boys' bedroom floor the other day and shoved in one of those big bucket things you can get from the supermarket. I still haven't sorted it, but I can now get to and from the boys' beds without breaking my neck. Makes me feel better.

Hi there,

I would just like to add that the thing I have taken from flylady is
1)don't try to run before you can walk, little bits at a time
2) anything that you do in the house is better than nothing

if all you get done is throwing the duvet over your bed and doing the same in the kids rooms it is better than nothing.

if all you do in the bathroom is chuck some bleach down the loo and walk away it is a fab start.

if you are n;t very well do you have a roo that you prefer to rest in in your house? if so I would suggest starting with that room so it is your oasis of calm that you can always retreat to.

Depending where you are in the country, the weather is supposed to be good for the next couple of days so you could crack on with the washing and get that out of the way.

BUT take your time.

As for getting the kids involved, we play Jungle run and "Iam the jungle king" setting the kids challenges. can you find me 10 cars to go in the box before the time runs out. can you find me 15 things that need to go into the bin and so on. it always ends with a little treat from our treat tin but it really helps making clearing up fun.

LOL purpleturtle! It is literally like that isn't? People who have tidy houses do not understand [boo hoo]

Put everything in the right room to start with. If there's paperwork and toys in the living room put the paperwork in the study and toys in the kids rooms, etc. Then tackle each room one at a time, and don't overdo it. One room per day should do it.

Have a "going to the charity shop" and "going to the dump" day. Go through each room with black bin bags either for the charity shop or for the dump (I presume you haven't got enough time to boot sale or ebay!). I'll bet you will have a whole car full of bin bags to get rid of by the end of the day, and then you will have much clearer rooms to deal with.

Also, I throw all the clean dry washing onto my bed so that I have to sort it out before I can get into bed at night. And every night I sort out a pile of washing to put into the washing machine the next morning as soon as I get up.

Can you get a tumble dryer - its a bit costly to run, but gets rid of all the dryers and is a godsend in warm but wet weather. It means you can wash and dry 4 or 5 loads a day to try to make inroads into your 'piles'.

I am crap at cleaning, so I try not to do it in my 'free time' IYSWIM, but rather multitask instead.

So I clean the bathroom whilst the DCs are having their bath. I make the beds involving DD so it feels more like playtime rather than choretime (she loves helping with the duvet, and having me waft i all over her!). DH comes home late so I cook our dinner whilst DCs eat their's and clean up whilst DCs do colouring at kitchen table and drink their milk.

DH does the jobs I really hate (ironing) and I do the jobs he hates (cleaning kitchen). And easier said than done, but I try to put things away straight away rather than leaving it. So after school run, all coats, shoes, bags are put away immediately otherwise they merge into the general mess and it grows and grows!! Good luck!

Set realistic targets, but don't get down if you don't meet them. Little and often, keep chipping away. See if the children can help with anything, even just finding/putting away etc.

Come and see the Listmakers... I've found it a massive help for me!! My list doesn't get much shorter, but it does keep me going on the daily stuff and have days when nothing happens (today!) but it all helps. Some days I really surprise myself!

See you soon!

I am constantly overwhelmed with housework (combination of useless dh, me working increased hours, spoiltlazy dc, my own slatternly gene and a very tiny overcrowded house.
What I have found useful is another flylady tip. Set an egg timer/alarm/stopwatch for 20 mins. clean/tidy something/anything for 20 mins. then stop and do the same in another room/area.
It stops you feeling overwhelmed by any particular room and fills one wth a sense of purpose, being 'up against the clock!

also: make a little picnic of easily consumed food before you start, so you can have something to eat when you are ready.

Also: put on some favourite. lively music to help motivate you.

I would start with just laundry and washing up since these are jobs that need keeping on top of.

Rather than doing them in a single slot you need to find 10mins at a time throughout the day to keep the dishwasher and washing machine busy.

If you have a tumble dryer use it rather than faffing with the line/airers and fold/put away as soon as the dryer finishes.

Once you are on top of these jobs keep on top of them and then pick another job to add in. As you start to feel better you will gradually get on top of it all and it is so much easier to do once you are.

The best flylady tip I got was the timer. Doesn't even need to be on for 15 mins. I do it in 5 min bouts so as not to get distracted (can't keep my head focused on a single job for longer than 5 mins - just get side tracked.) Always have a big bin bag to hand. I start with the biggest things that create clutter. So if there's heaps of laundry put away all the towels and sheets first as that seriously shrinks the pile.

Then five mins clearing a single surface. Get a basket to chuck things in that don't belong there. Get a bin bag to toss stuff that needs to go. Don't even think about recycling or even charity shop if you are that behind. Chuck the lot until there's not more stuff around than you can manage.

Create a sanctuary - a corner of a room or a whole room, that stays decluttered, or FL's 15 mins from company-ready. It's a place to sit and think or list make when the rest is overwhelming. And a place to invite guests if the rest is a tip.

I can't do the whole FL thing but do love lots of what she says: you can't clean clutter, you can do anything for 5 minutes, chuck 27 things each day until you're in a better state,and most important is the change of mindset. If you declutter or clean for five mins the place looks better, you feel more at peace. it's a positive response to housework rather than the resentful, 'Why bother it'll all be a tip again in an hour.) I try now to say - it's a tip but I can straighten it in 15 mins, rather than the other way round, and it does help.

Sorry - very long post - are you still breathing?

We do the oven timer, often 10-15 minutes at a time.

Kids do the toys, outside or whatever, whilst I hose down the kitchen/load the DW/hoover the main floors. Amazing what you can get done sometimes in even a short time.

Timer is a winner. Oh, and the music is a must. I can get the kids to join in if I play some funky tunes... (well, semi-funky!)

And DECLUTTER DECLUTTER all the time, bit by bit, just get it put away/thrown out/or whatever.

As you have one child under 5 you qualify for help from Homestart - my friend volunteers - she says you can speak to your Health Visitor and they can refer you. I think they come for an hour or two once a week and will basically do whatever you ask them to do (can be looking after the kids while you do stuff, or helping you get on top of the stuff you need to get on top of). It can be for as long as you need help, too, I believe. And it's free.

Once you've tackled some of it, it'll seem less daunting to keep a routine/do fly lady stuff.

Best of luck x

And don't worry about them seeing the state of your house - the volunteers are 'normal' people, just like us and have probably been there themselves, and if my friend is anything to go by, lovely - and you will possibly make a friend too (if you want to).

homestart doesn't operate everywhere though. (sadly)

I'd start with the decluttering. It's so much easier to keep a clean house if the clutter is under control and you have a place for everything. Since you have children I would begin with a clothes/toys declutter. Charity shop anyclothes that dont fit. Broken toys in bin. We done this recently in DS's room, granted it took 2 of us 3 hours but it looks great now and all i have to do it wipe window sill, sweep wooden floor, make bed and the room looks fantastic. Everything has its place now.

Then on the paper work. Decide what you really need to keep like bank statements/yearly mortgage summary and get a box file. Bin the rest. As you get your mail, open and decide straight away if you need to keep if not bin.
With regards to the washing I would invest in some nice laundry baskets. Most families with young children have backdated washing/ironing at some point, keep clean washing folded neatly until you have time to put it away.
I cant offer advice about the socks, we have a box full waiting to be paired up. I try to do that watching tv in the evening or getting DS to help. Good luck xx