Advice for an unwilling housewife

[digggers]

Hello Good housekeeping people!

Maybe you can help me? I find myself accidently a housewife, mother to a 18 month old boy and partner to a man who works 9-5. I work part time flexible hours and seemingly am now responsible for the housework.

Now in my past life, I haven't exactly been that interested in housework. Been the kind of person who perhaps swept her hall a few times a year, forced herself to clean the windows and paint work in the spring, did the washing up when there were no dishes left. But now I find myself in a situation were I have to for my son and man keep the place clean and nice, do the washing, cook.

I hate it! I feel like it takes over my life! I feel I need some kind of schedule so I'm not constantly fire fighting. I feel like when I just get on top od one thing another needs doing and then I'm back to the first. There's no let up!

What do I need to do on a daily basis? what on a weekly? What's the miminum so it doesn't drive me mad but I have a clean and nice house to live in?

It's two bedrooms, carpeted, kitchen gardens. I use cloth nappies, I don;t have a tumble drier but I do have a dish washer.

what do other people do?

I've said this a lot on MN and will say it again:

1. Eat only at the table.
2. Shoes off at door.
3. Get up early
4. Never go to bed leaving downstairs a tip.
5. Not too much choice with food-too complicated (here it's porridge, muesli or toast and an egg. Sandwiches for lunch. Nice food in evening but make a lot of it and freeze/refrigerate rest.)
6. Don't wash clothes too often-they don't need it and it weakens and fades them. Always iron though.
7. Keep stuff to a minimum partic. kids' clothes and toys.
8. Every 6 weeks a day long blitz throguh every nook and cranny of house-clean,sort, take stuff for recycling and so on.
9. With cloth nappies, a bucket with lid-when full wah 'em.

That's a big accident. Take control, clean up as you go, delegate, it's not rocket science, just a fact of life unless you like living in a pig sty. Why bother even posting when you sound as if it's not even your (partly) responsibility & you would like to bypass this to concentrate on higher things?

I hoover, change bedding and towels and clean bathrooms once a week. I do these in the morning just after I've given DS a bottle of milk and he's watching Milkshake. Put the towels & sheets straight in the washer, it saves duplicating effort later in the week. So that's three mornings, 1 hr each. Washing & dusting gets done as needed.

The only place that gets cleaned daily is the kitchen (keep all food in the kitchen or you'll be forever hoovering the other rooms). I just try to keep it tidy as we go along.

Close doors of rooms where DS should not be. It saves them getting messed up. Play outside as much as possible .

Gardening is a blue job unless you're keen as is ironing dp's work shirts. Supermarket shopping gets done at 8am on a Saturday while DP looks after DS or ordered online.

Peopel say housework is boring. It is if you don;'t deal with it because it then looms over you constantly and you are not free to concentrate on more important things.

That';s what al ot of peopel don't get.

haha, yes a big accident! No well I love my boy and man, and don't regret the life change. and i do want to be able to get on with it with good grace and ease and not have it as this constant looming impossible to complete thing.

That's why I'm thinking some kind of schedule and wondering about other people's schedules?

Good advice moondog and kathy. So three hours a week in the morning? and every six weeks a blitz?

the washing I find ridiculous. I seem to have one or two loads a day! Is this normal?

Washing sounds pretty normal to me, my DS gets through 2 outfits most days - if we are going out after lunch I often leave him in pjs til he has had his lunch otherwise I know it will be a write off. I do a load every day or nearly - me, DH, DD and DS.

Plus cloth nappies about 3 x week.

I know what you mean about the accidental housewife thing, DH is FT and I work 3 days but he swans off with the children doinmg fun stuff on his days off - my days off end up being playgrups, washing, shopping, cleaning etc.

I just do what I can be arsed to and if DH thinks it's too messy he is welcome to do some chores himself. I only iron my tops plus DH's uniform for work, nothing else, so only about 1-1.5 hours a week.

No schedule here though - I just wash sheets and towels when they don't seem fresh or sooner if its a good drying day - no tumble drier here.

Bit of a tip at the moment, but when DH is asleep - he does nights, DS is napping and DD happy with playdoh I thought I would pop in here rather than vacuum

Dear digggers,

My name is Jake and run my own London based home concierge company called House Elf. We cater for pretty much all the jobs you mentioned above plus LOADS more. Everything from:

Pet-sitting/walking
House cleaning
Garden maintenance
Tradespeople sit-ins (BT/Sky/Gas man, etc)
Rides to London airports, train stations
Errand running
Plus lots more......

Me and the other elves have been trading for about a year now and have helped hundreds of people with many jobs which vary from doing their shopping every week to organising parties and events.

We would love to be able to help you and from only £10 per hour, I'm sure we could take the stress out of those irritating errands.

So, if you fancy having a chat about it, give us a call Monday - Sunday on 020 8265 8705 or shout us an email at [email protected].

Our website is www.houseelf.co.uk.

Look forward to chatting.

Jake.

Why not look at the slatterns or fly threads?

It's mostly a case of picking up as you go and not letting things build up though-for example I try to sort washing, iron any that needs it and put it all away as soon as it comes off the line and that takes hardly any time. But earlier in the week I left a load in the basket after bringing it in and together with todays and yesterdays loads it now seems like a huge job.

1. Clean and wash up as you go
2. Ensure all toys are cleared up by the time child is in bed (or immediately after he's in bed) so evening time is adult time
3. Assign cleaning chores for each day of week and do no more than 30mins to 1 hour MAX: eg Monday is dust house day, Tuesday is Hoover day, Wednesday is clean kitchen day, Thursday is for bathroom, Friday is for weeding garden or washing windows or ironing
4. Whoever gets up first in the morning puts a load of laundry on and only on a short 60 min cycle; this gets hung up/out immediately and folded immediately

This is how we do it in our household though I have to admit that I am married to a terrific man who works silly city lawyer hours (9am to 10pm most days of the week) but still will deep clean the bathroom and do all the gardening at weekends without me asking :-)

And I will do no more than 30 mins a day on housework - cleaning and washing up as I go along helps me achieve this 30 mins rule :-)

And I also have to add - give your son a wonderfully over the top feather duster (a proper one with proper feathers!) and teach him to dust. My DD is 2.3 years old and now she loves dusting with my feather duster - she see it as part of playing. She also likes pushing the non-electric sweeper in the kitchen and on our living room rug. Encourage your son to put his toys away into boxes or baskets - it could be part of his bedtime routine! He's not to young.