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House swaps

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Original poster

Council flat to private rent house

8 replies

Astley87 · 06/10/2025 08:57

Hi everybody.
I need some advice on something that is keeping me up at night.
I am 38 years old and a mother to 3 boys, since the age of 17 I have lived alone and always private rented, because I had to move out of my family home so young and straight into private renting I have never been able to save for a mortgage. Anyway in March 2023 I was finally offered a property on the council, it was a flat but I said yes immediately due to it being cheaper and of course more stable. However since being here my 14 year old son (who is socially vulnerable and has an ehcp etc) has been approached by drug users, trying to get him to sell drugs for him etc, my next door neighbours constantly hound me for money and they also ask my children. I have contacted the anti social department but nothing ever gets done. The block has a rat infestation which has been ongoing for 6 months now with no sign of it getting any better. I can't send my order children to the shops because there is so much illegal activity and intimidating people around the blocks of flats. I'm no snob, I was in a hostel as a child and I don't think for a second I'm better than anybody else but I feel since being here by children have been stripped of any independence because I just cannot let them out.
Anyway my friend has offered to rent me her nans house (nan is now in care, the house is mortgage free etc and the house cannot be sold for nans care), for intially 5 years capped at £750 per month (half of what private rent usually is in that area) and then see where we stand after 5 years.
It's a lovely area, one we know well and somewhere we feel quite safe.
However I do know giving up a council property is so risky and I know giving it up to go private rent seems so silly but the council has taken me off their books (due to not enough properties and me being adequately housed, meaning I cannot bid for a house).
I have increased my hours at work and would absolutely be able to afford the house but it's the unknown and the fear of what could happen.
So my question is, would you continue to live in the flat knowing the council will not offer me a house or take a risk on a private rent house?
Might be worth adding I have tried absolutely everything to make us a priority to the council in order for them to move us and it hadn't worked, I've had my sons senco teacher and headteacher involved, the gp, local councilor, local mp. Anything you could name I have tried but they will not budge.

Thank you😊

OP posts:
Janefx40 · 06/10/2025 13:09

Firstly you sound like you are doing and have been doing a great job of managing your life and your kids from a young age so all credit to you.

This is very tricky - is your friend prepared to give you a formal tenancy agreement for the 5 years? Have they considered what would happen if their Nan died sooner and they had to sell the house for probate? If no family member is living in it, are you certain they wouldn’t have to sell it for care costs?

I would also check the allocations policy in your local area. As long as you give notice properly and move elsewhere then if, in 2 years say, you become homeless through having to leave the Nan’s house and not being able to afford/find an alternative then you could still approach the council for support if needed I think!! But you might not be offered another council property. I think I would call Shelter and ask them actually to check what your status would be.

I think personally if you can be sure you will have the rental property for the longish term then I would maybe move because it doesn’t sound like you or the kids are thriving where you are. So in a way what is the point of holding onto the property because it isn’t providing you with the home you need. It is giving you security in one way in terms of a roof over your head but in another way it has removed it. But I appreciate it is a very tough decision especially if you don’t have a safety net in the form of family, savings or high earnings.

another option is to try a council house swap but you sound pretty switched on so have maybe explored this option already.

Best of luck.

Iloveeverycat · 06/10/2025 13:10

the house cannot be sold for nans care
How are they getting away with not selling the nans house. Has nan got a huge amount of savings to pay for the time spent in care or do they have a deferred payment scheme in place with the council if the latter it will still have to be sold if anything happens to pay the council back.

Original poster
Astley87 · 06/10/2025 17:48

Iloveeverycat · 06/10/2025 13:10

the house cannot be sold for nans care
How are they getting away with not selling the nans house. Has nan got a huge amount of savings to pay for the time spent in care or do they have a deferred payment scheme in place with the council if the latter it will still have to be sold if anything happens to pay the council back.

Hiya 😊. They are a wealthy family and nan has a lot of money stashed away, her daughter (my friends mom who will be the trustee) will inherit the house along with the granddaughter (my friend)

OP posts:
Original poster
Astley87 · 06/10/2025 17:58

Janefx40 · 06/10/2025 13:09

Firstly you sound like you are doing and have been doing a great job of managing your life and your kids from a young age so all credit to you.

This is very tricky - is your friend prepared to give you a formal tenancy agreement for the 5 years? Have they considered what would happen if their Nan died sooner and they had to sell the house for probate? If no family member is living in it, are you certain they wouldn’t have to sell it for care costs?

I would also check the allocations policy in your local area. As long as you give notice properly and move elsewhere then if, in 2 years say, you become homeless through having to leave the Nan’s house and not being able to afford/find an alternative then you could still approach the council for support if needed I think!! But you might not be offered another council property. I think I would call Shelter and ask them actually to check what your status would be.

I think personally if you can be sure you will have the rental property for the longish term then I would maybe move because it doesn’t sound like you or the kids are thriving where you are. So in a way what is the point of holding onto the property because it isn’t providing you with the home you need. It is giving you security in one way in terms of a roof over your head but in another way it has removed it. But I appreciate it is a very tough decision especially if you don’t have a safety net in the form of family, savings or high earnings.

another option is to try a council house swap but you sound pretty switched on so have maybe explored this option already.

Best of luck.

Edited

Thanks so much.
My twins are 14 and youngest boy is 10 and they've never gone without anything but I can't help but feel a failure when it comes to housing. I've never been able to get the money together for a deposit and I genuinely thought a council property was the next best thing. But genuinely its been horrendous.
Yes they are happy to give me a formal agreement for 5 years. My friend and her mom will be inheriting the house when nan passes. The end goal is that my friend eventually hands it over to her children.

And yes I've been on homeswapper for a good while but nobody wants to swap a house for a flat which is understandable of course.

I guess I just want to be somewhere my children feel and somewhere they're not embarrassed to call hone but of course it's scary giving up a council tenancy and I know so many people will call me silly but I just want to be happy somewhere.

OP posts:
Honeybunny75 · 06/10/2025 18:03

Can you swap to a different flat ,in a better area .
That might be worth trying

Needmorelego · 06/10/2025 18:06

Normally I would say never give up a council property for private rent but if you can definitely get a 5 year tenancy for your friends house then I would go for it.
The lease needs to be watertight so I don't know if you could get a lawyer or similar to check it.
But if it's all in order - do it.

yeesh · 06/10/2025 18:26

I would go for it at that price and save as much as I could for moving/deposit in the future. A council property is great if you have a good one but a flat in that sort of place isn’t going to get better and you are unlikely to find anyone that will swap ect. All we can do as parents is make the best decision for our kids.

Greysowhat · 24/10/2025 11:10

Can you request a transfer?

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