Help what would you do?

[Mumaaa]

Hi all I’m living in a lovely two bedroom house with 2 children in each bedroom and myself in living room. My son has autism and has finally settled making progress at school and friendships really good. I have a 4 bedroom house 40 mins away from my son’s current school who is keen to swap and I was excited to do so it is
Potentially lovely home with 3 toilets a shower and bathroom. Needs new flooring through out due to her 12 pets! Will take me some time to sort out.
the only problem is am I being realistic about the school run as I really do not want to upset the progress he has made. And worried he will struggle to make good friends like he has now! He does need his own room to make it easier for him to sleep as this is something he struggles with.
cant find another home to swap with and not much new comes up so really stuck what to do here!

40 minutes, in rush hour traffic every day- have you done a trial run? Or do you mean he would need to attend a different school?

But he won't be swapping schools? He'll just have a longer commute?

Are you worried he won't have friends to travel to and from school with? There are bound to be a few that at least share part of his route. And I don't think it's essential to travel with your best friends. You can always just read or do homework or listen to music on the bus/train.

You should maybe practice the journey with him a few times to get him used to the new journey and distance?

40 mins to school doesn’t seem ideal and what about the rest of your children? How do they get to school from the new place? Also someone with 12 pets is unlikely to leave the place clean, that many animals screams self control and impulsivity issues. Especially if they suddenly fancy cramming them all into a 2 bed. 🧐 Next week they’ll probably decide to move to a yurt in Greenland for the white Christmases instead.

Cue some random MNer turning up with 60 golden retrievers and a horse in their kitchen claiming to have a pristine house and no personal issues at all. 😂

40 minutes is a long commute each way, not counting rush hour. then you have the issue his friends are 40 mins away so no chance of play dates etc.
If i was to do that move , I would move schools. Youd be driving 2 hours 40 mins there & back, there & back not to mention petrol costs.

Thanks for replies all
my options are
1 stay here as we are
2 move to the 4 bed and commute to school
3 move and change school

yes 12 pets is crazy 🤪 my home is not much smaller than hers as its a massive two bed and bigger garden. Hers is a three floor so downstairs is actually smaller than mine! But 4 decent but much smaller rooms than mine here. Plus she has 3 toilets in total and we have one between the 5 of us here and an extra shower there to!

lol the horse and 60 retrievers 😂

40 minutes walk or 40 minutes drive or? 40 minutes drive is a different scale of difficult to manage from if it's a longer walk

Honestly girl

I moved me and dd across a big city. My commute according to Google maps was 45 mins each way. The first few days were a breeze

And then reality set in 😭

My commute is now 1hr each way, barring an unforseen traffic accident, once local traffic is accounted for

I am trying to move autistic dd to a local school and i am having no luck

I have been granted limited transport support though and I am so grateful for this.

We are exhausted 😩😩

That said, I have no regrets as the plan was always to get away from the location we were in and was to try and move dd. I will keep on trying

Will all of the children go to the same school? Will ds be able to cope in the car?

I bought my dd a second tablet for the car, a blanket and snacks. She has breakfast and afterschool snack in the car, the backseat is a mess 🙈 but she copes reasonably well back there

It sounds like there are 5 of you in your family? I thought it was just 3

This swap sounds like an amazing opportunity, and maybe too good to pass up, just be aware of the commute. It isnt forever though x

Hi all thanks for replies..it is 20 mins by car but with the traffic worse! I would get a bus or can get a bus then train to avoid half the traffic.
the question is am I crazy to think is this going to work or be too much . I feel I would be crazy to miss the opportunity of having a four bedroom house and it also seems crazy to move my son’s school as he has taken so long to settle and make friends. I think I mentioned he has autism .Will he take those social skills with him or will he be back to square one socially and then his work gets even harder for him.
my daughter has a long term boyfriend who will collect her for collage so that’s not a problem.

Yes there is 5 two older daughters who can’t afford to move out and they need guarantors to rent anywhere

What would you do guys someone tell me the commute will be fine and the house will be lovely 😂