Difficult living situation

[aggies87]

Hello Everyone ,

Thank you for reading my post and I appreciate any advise.

I have been married for 12 years and my husband had been always lying to me about financial situation. To cut long story short after suspecting him of having considerable amount of debts and him telling me constant lies throughout the years, it came to light that he accumulated over 45k £ over the years. When we were expecting our second child in 2019 he exposed himself to me and went for IVA agreement and is paying it off over 5 years now.
I have a lot of problems with him and story is very long and he is not even worth mentioning.

My problem is housing. We have been renting 1 bed flat for the last 11 years. It was ok when my older daughter who is 11 now was still small, it was still ok when my second daughter was an infant . However my older daughter grew up so much mentally and physically in the last year and clearly she is becoming teenager and started secondary school now.

We desperately need two bedroom flat as no one has space at home. I am worried about my daughter as she often tells me she is the only one in school who doesn't have her own bedroom and that she lies to her friends that she does etc. She needs it to study and do homework however my husband has bad credit history and no one will rent him a property and I am currently working part time and my earning are not big at all . I have been on council housing waiting list since2017 but I am not priority category. I called council yesterday and their advise was that I can put a curtain in the living room to make another room.

This put me in a terrible mental state than what I already I am . I have been on antidepressants and I feel that my life is miserable. I would like to leave my husband but I also can't due to finances. His mistakes cost whole family but I am mostly sad about my older daughter. I don't know who else to go for support. Is there anything you could kindly advise my that I can do? I would appreciate any advise from you. Thank you so much.

Have you paid the rent on the flat you're currently in on a regular basis?

If you have, then you just need to save up a deposit...and apply for 2 bed flats.

If there's only one bedroom, where do you all sleep? Is the living room a bedroom?

I don't think the idea of a curtain is that bad for a temporary fix...people have to make do with what they've got.

Save...if you can get a deposit together, then you can apply for a flat in your own name.

I'm sorry, it sounds like a very difficult situation.

If you must stay in the same flat, post a floor plan in the Property section and lots of MNers will be able to give you comments on how to make best use of the space you've got.

Other options

• can DH increase his earnings?
• can you increase your earnings? The £10 per day thread has lots of advice on online work that you can do anytime.
• can you get more space by moving to a different area?
• and finally, is your DH definitely paying off the debt and do you have control of finances? If he was gambling before, there is always a risk he could start again.

@FortunesFave

Have you paid the rent on the flat you're currently in on a regular basis?

If you have, then you just need to save up a deposit...and apply for 2 bed flats.

If there's only one bedroom, where do you all sleep? Is the living room a bedroom?

I don't think the idea of a curtain is that bad for a temporary fix...people have to make do with what they've got.

Save...if you can get a deposit together, then you can apply for a flat in your own name.

Hi . Thank you for your reply. I do have money for deposit but I would have to earn over 35k a year to be able to rent in my area. A 2 bed flat in London cost 1500£ so I am not credible to rent.

Oh you're in London! I think you need to speak to the housing....I know there's a massive shortage of housing but at least apply. Also, speak to SHELTER as they offer amazing free advice.

Are all your family in London or would you consider moving out of the city?

Have you tried going on to those council house/flat swap sites? You can mutually exchange with others looking to downsize. You can get more information from your local council or landlord.