As a woman, is there anything wrong with working hard to increase your income?

[SingleSoul]

After we got married, we had a child, but I also quit my job. Although my husband's salary was stable, it was still not enough for living expenses. I was really anxious and depressed. When I talked to my husband about this topic, he always said that my job was like this and you had to figure out the rest yourself. But I still had to take care of the family and children, so how could I think about anything else? I increased some income through the Internet, but when my husband found out, he was very unhappy. Instead, he often made trouble for no reason and quarreled with me. Am I really wrong?

What were you doing through the internet?

Was it an mlm by any chance?

According to the job description I saw online, I mainly do service consulting for the platform and some paid consulting work. However, when chatting, sometimes people would talk about more private things. My husband would sometimes hear us chatting, and we would often quarrel about this.

How did you increase income through the internet?
If you were selling in vinted, he is an idiot, if you were dealing crack, not so much.

no

The answer is get a job and split childcare costs - those are not for you alone to have to cover. You are both parents, you are a partnership. His income isn’t sufficient which is what he is actually feeling bad about hence his reaction. But you wanting to work is not a bad thing

Your husband is really wrong, not you. The house and children should not be only your responsibility- both parents need to split it. I would get a full time job and tell him he needs to stump up at least half of childcare costs.

My job is actually paid telephone consultation, but sometimes clients will talk about personal issues, and I can't refuse, but my husband thinks I'm cheating, and I often have to explain a lot. I try to avoid him coming to work, but he must listen to our conversations. But we often have a cold war because of this.

You are dancing around what you do.

I am going to assume it’s sex chat or similar. In which case I am not surprised he is pissed off.

Thank you. I know a lot of choices are my own and I can't blame anyone, because from getting married to having children, I really spent all my savings. Looking at the credit card bills, I really get anxious, even though I'm very frugal.

WTAF?!
There are many paid consultant jobs that result in people sharing personal issues:

• financial advisor - people will talk about death, divorce, disability, debt
• human resources advisor- people will talk about discrimination, bullying in the workplace, drugs/alcohol us by employees
• pastoral care consultant- people will talk about benefits, mental health, physical health.

But all you can think of is a “sex chat” which is ridiculous because how many sex chats involve real personal issues? None. Sex chats are all fantasy.

No, it's not. It's some paid consultation. I mainly provide consultation for this customer about jewelry design, but this customer seems to often talk about other issues. But I don't want to lose this customer because the platform charges a high fee, and it really helps me financially.

Did your husband spend his savings on marriage and children too? If not, this is all a freeloading husband issue, not a you making poor choices issue.

As well as getting a full time job and ensuring he pays his fair share of childcare, you could contact a debt charity about paying off the cc bills. If the cc bills are from pregnancy/maternity, then your husband should commit to paying them down with you.

Actually, plenty of sex chat goes into other territory. And plenty of people become more attached to customers than they should.

I said op was dancing around. She absolutely could say ‘I do Hr consultation’. Dancing around and ‘I can’t refuse to talk about personal issues’ doesn’t sound like a bog standard customer service role.

Op you husbands sounds like a dick with telling you to figure out the rest yourself.

But it does really depend on what you are talking to clients about. You can bet if someone came here and posted ‘my husband does online and over the phone jewellery consultations, but I hear him talking about really personal issues like relationships with female clients. I told him I don’t like it and he says he can’t refuse due to the money he earns’, people would side with the Op.

If it’s just general chat ‘did you have a nice holiday’ your husband is completely in the wrong. If it’s getting very personal, you may need to establish boundaries.
Nothing wrong with earning money, but if you are in a position where you can’t refuse to talk to clients about personal issues, that’s not ok.

My husband and I met in a hurry, and we got together in a hurry, but he was really enthusiastic at the beginning and took good care of my family and friends. I am not young anymore, and I think it is important to be suitable. I don’t know how much savings he has, but it should not be much, because he is also a very frugal person. My main problem is that he doesn’t seem to like my current job because the nature of the job requires chatting with others on the phone, and the longer the chat time, the higher the income. But he always feels that I have feelings for this client. To be honest, I know that this client may have other intentions towards me, but we don’t have any personal relationship. We can only chat through the platform because it is in the jewelry industry. He often uses me as a model and asks some questions about women

I am really confused. I just tried it at the beginning and I don’t know if there are really any customers. But it is really rare to have customers. Sometimes I am afraid of being rejected and afraid of losing customers. The content of the chat is indeed not very private. I understand the other party’s thoughts and maybe there are other intentions, because I know that no one will spend so much money to chat about some boring issues. I don’t know if I should continue. Because this is the most convenient and best source of income at present, I just want to know whether I should continue.

If there aren’t any customers it’s not really an effective job? Certainly not financially. You admit that the customer you do have you spend longer talking to then perhaps you should ( for financial reasons) and they may have other intentions which suggests your dh may not be entirely unreasonable. But is he Going to be jealous of you working in any job? If so he is unreasonable and you need to sit down and talk about it because running up debts and not working is not sustainable

Why did you quit your job? Can you go back to it?

YANBU to want to earn money. But the chat you have crosses professional boundaries. It does not sound like friendly chat amongst colleagues or with customers.