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Awfully childish story writing by a Y2 - consistently poor

29 replies

BingBo · 04/05/2020 22:07

DS1 loves reading. He does read a lot - fictions and non-fictions. We read chapter stories every night.

So when it comes to his story writing, I feel awfully helpless. The content of the story is extremely simple and back-and-forth just similar ideas/languages. With all the tips given to him again and again in school and by myself, he just can't come up with anything beyond what a 5 years old would possibly say.

I don't know if it's an issue of lack of imagination. I don't know if it's to do with his undiagnosed ADHD (bad short-term memory and difficulty to focus on top of moderate speech delay). Does anyone has a little one in similar situation and somehow this was resolved on its own with one of those "magical intelligence leaps"?

Example of his writing: "There’s a dinosaur called Eddie. It is gigantic and nice to animals. It seems to be superb kind. I think I’ll call it Eddie. The dinosaur says good bye. My friends will be happy. Dinosaur are extinct and strong."

OP posts:
foamrolling · 04/05/2020 22:12

Is that really so bad for a 7 year old? Genuinely asking. Do school think it's a big problem?

BTW, you'd probably get more answers on the primary education board, I don't think this one is used much. If it's quiet on here, perhaps repost there.

PerspicaciaTick · 04/05/2020 22:12

I used to let my DCs dictate their stories to me sometimes. It meant they could tell a fluent, imaginative story without getting bored with the physical writing plus they loved that I could then read their stories back to them.
It wasn't something we did all the time, just often enough to keep story telling interesting. The results weren't masterpieces by any means though. They found them hysterical though.

BrutusMcDogface · 04/05/2020 22:13

🙄

Greysparkles · 04/05/2020 22:23

Does he play imagination games? Do you play make believe with him? Because that is making up a story
Hes 6/7years old. Go easy!!!

justanotherneighinparadise · 04/05/2020 22:35

I’d be over the bloody moon if my seven year old wrote that!!

BingBo · 04/05/2020 22:36

It sounds like this is not regarded as "overly bad"...?

@foamrollingfoamrolling, Yes, his teacher has put in his report that his writing needs improving. I've been trying to bring him up to speed since Feb. So far I haven't seen much improvement. :(. I will repost it in the board for Primary School. Thank you.

@PerspicaciaTick, I'm trying to encourage him to do Story Relay with me. But he struggles to come up with ideas and jump from point A to Z straightaway not able to describe details.

@Greysparkles, He does, on his own or with his friends. I confess I haven't played much imagination play with him. I'm not good at it myself...

OP posts:
ouch321 · 04/05/2020 22:42

Buy some toy dinosaurs to play with inspire a story. Ask him for some adjectives to describe the dino eg spotty or grumpy and some verbs for how it mices

Give him some pointer words to help him create a short story eg ,'stomped ' or 'roared' etc

Read him some stories on dinos.

Then try again

Used to tutor, that's what I'd do.

PurpleDaisies · 04/05/2020 22:42

If he told you a story, would it be more detailed than that?
What support did he have to write that story?
What’s he like telling you a story that he knows very well, for example a favourite book?
It sounds like too much demand is being put on him to write off the top of his head without enough support.

Perhaps following the pattern of, for example, the enormous crocodile but with his own animal would be a good approach. He uses all the structure of the story but changes elements.

ouch321 · 04/05/2020 22:43

Typo - how it moves, not mices

FinnefanFox · 04/05/2020 22:44

He is 7 years old, get a grip

user1468953505 · 04/05/2020 22:45

The secret to writing is the planning and the editing.

Work with him on how to plan out the story before he writes it. You might even want to give him a story outline and get him to put meat on the bones so he is concentrating on description rather than narrative.

Alternatively you can help him edit his first draft:

"There’s a dinosaur called Eddie. It is gigantic and nice to animals. It seems to be superb kind. I think I’ll call it Eddie. The dinosaur says good bye. My friends will be happy. Dinosaur are extinct and strong."

How gigantic is the dinosaur? What does he look like?

How is he nice to animals?

Did Eddie die? How did he die?

PurpleDaisies · 04/05/2020 22:45

It sounds like this is not regarded as "overly bad"...?

That really depends on what the task was. It’s not what I would expect from a year 2 class in general but without knowing your child, it’s really impossible to say whether it’s ok for him.

Is his teacher concerned?

Samtsirch · 04/05/2020 22:45

There could be a massive difference between what goes on in his imagination and what he manages to put down on paper.
Try scribing for him a story he makes up in a more relaxed situation.
He may find the excercise of writing hard work, sometimes the effort involved in that itself can take up all of a child’s energy and impair their thought process.
He is only 7 though, I wouldn’t be too worried just yet.

YerAWizardHarry · 04/05/2020 22:46

My 7 year old son can't spell at all and struggles to read past what is assigned to him at school (likely dyslexic but still). I'm a student teacher and please know you really have nothing to worry about.

Nectarines · 04/05/2020 22:48

Have you ever tried to write a story? It’s bloody hard!
I teach year 2 and when we do stories I use a 4 box storyboard to plan.
I often get the kids to start with the ending. They draw a very detailed picture whilst rehearsing sentences as they go. Then the beginning. Again, a very very detailed picture.
Finally the two boxes for the middle. This way they see how the ideas must connect to get from beginning to end.
Take it slowly. One day use the storyboard to write just the beginning. Go back and edit if needed.
Write some of the middle.
Go back and edit.
Repeat.
A highly quality story can’t be written quickly. The process is more important than the end result.

Atalune · 04/05/2020 22:51

He needs a toolkit.

Writing frames
Gap fills
Word banks
SPaG resources

No child would be expected to write a story off the bat without Lots of prep and then with lots of support during the writing and then again at the end with corrections and polishing.

Sounds like you have big expectations but without linear support then I don’t know why you would expect him to get better.

MintyMabel · 04/05/2020 22:51

I loved to read as a child. My imagination was shit though so story writing was never my thing.

Try getting him to write more factual stuff, write a story about a holiday or a day out etc and see if he does better.

But also, he's year 2. Not really a big issue at that age.

june2007 · 04/05/2020 22:59

How about asking, where does he live. Get him to draw a picture. Make a dinosaur lay out. Write some words to describe it. Muddy, swamp, Hot ect.

grey12 · 04/05/2020 23:07

My kids are way too young to relate but.... reading your story and the replies I had an idea!!
Have you tried story stones?? You can play that game with your child and that way he'll have to find a way of linking the new element into the story! It's the linking and the different elements that are missing.

[if you don't know how it works, you put pieces of paper or painted stones in a bag. Each stone has an image (princess, frog, dinosaur, cup, flower, castle, magic wand....wtv) and each person around a circle takes turns taking a stone and adding that image/concept to the story being told together in the group]

AlphaNumericalSequence · 04/05/2020 23:10

I feel a bit dismayed at the thought of planing, editing, and 'first drafts' for a seven-year-old's story writing. At that age isn't story making just a kind of play, which has the bonus of creating opportunities to practice spelling and grammar? Don't redraft -- play another game! ie write another story!

Perhaps it's just that the thread title put me on edge -- Of course a seven-year-old's stories are childish! Sure, the story you mention was not spectacular for Y2, but it didn't seem unusually bad.

Any playful activity that encourages the imagination, and his own confidence in what his imagination produces, will build his story-writing skills.

Pickles89 · 05/05/2020 00:39

Is the story all his own work, or is that the final copy, after you've sat down with him and gone through it with him? If it's what he's just written by himself I think it's fine for his age!

Do you know those Usbourne 'First experiences' books? There are heaps of them - they have a little yellow duck hiding on each page, you know the ones? They have a simple sentence at the top of each page, and a simple paragraph at the bottom. Presumably so that learners can read the easier sentence and then the parent can read the paragraph - the learner gets a sense of achievement, while the detail of the paragraph keeps their interest. Anyway, how about you use this method when you sit down with your DS and work on the story together? Break it down so one or 2 of his sentences are at the top of the page, he can draw a picture in the middle, and then you can scribe a paragraph going into greater detail. Something like this:

'There’s a dinosaur called Eddie.'

*Picture

(then you write)

'Eddie lives... (Where does he live DS? Oh, in the woods? What's it like there? There're lots of trees? And a pond? How big is the pond? Really big? Ok. How about we use a special word like MASSIVE or HUGE, that would make the story sound extra exciting wouldn't it?) '...in the woods where there are lots of trees. Nearby is a HUGE pond.' (What does Eddie think about the pond DS? He likes to swim in it does he? What about the other dinosaurs, do they use the pond too? Ahhh, ok, they're afraid of the water?) '...Eddie likes to swim in the pond, but the other dinosaurs are afraid of the water.'

Next page

'It is gigantic and nice to animals.' (Let's say 'Eddie' instead of 'It' shall we DS, now that we know that's his name?)

'Eddie is gigantic.' (I love the word 'gigantic' DS, it's much more interesting than just saying 'big'! Maybe people would think a gigantic animal would be scary to animals, so we could say 'Eddie is gigantic, BUT he is nice to animals?' What does he do that's nice? He plays with them? Eddie likes playing in the pond doesn't he? Does he play in the pond with the animals, or are they afraid of the water, like the other dinosaurs? Oh, they aren't afraid when Eddie is there? If you were one of the animals, how would you play with Eddie in the water? Maybe they could sit on his head and then whoosh down his neck like a waterslide, what do you think? You think that sounds fun? And he jumps up and down to make big waves for them? That's a super idea DS!))

'Eddie is gigantic, but he is nice to animals.'

*Picture

'They play with Eddie in the pond. The animals aren't afraid of the water when Eddie is with them. They slide down his neck into the pond, and he jumps up and down in the water to make waves for them. It's very exciting.'

Next page

'It seems to be superb kind.' (Well, we KNOW that Eddie is super-kind don't we DS, so we write 'Eddie IS super-kind')

'Eddie is super-kind'

*Picture

(We know that Eddie is FUN because he plays exciting games, but what does he do that's KIND? What do your friends do that's kind? If you're sad they tell the teacher? Eddie is quite big isn't he, maybe he's like the teacher, and looks after the animals if they're sad - what makes them sad? If they hurt themselves? Maybe they sometimes hurt themselves in the pond? I KNOW, suppose they swallow the water by accident sometimes and that makes them cough, and then Eddie looks after them? You think that sounds good? Ok, how about this:'

'Sometimes the animals swallow the water by accident, and that makes them cough. Eddie looks after them until they feel better.'

(What's a good way of making somebody feel happy again DS? A hug? Definitely! How do you think a dinosaur gives hugs? With his big long neck? What else can he do to help them feel happy? How about jokes, or funny faces? He tells them jokes, but no funny faces? Ok.'

'He gives them a hug with his long neck, and tells them silly jokes. Then they feel happy again.'

(What happens next DS? They all have dinner do they? I know what we could do then - because we already know the dinosaur is called Eddie, we don't need to write 'I think I'll call him Eddie', we could write about them having dinner instead!)

'Eddie has dinner with his friends.'

*Picture

(What does the dinner taste like DS? Nice? We've already used the word 'nice' in your story haven't we. Can you think of an even better would to describe something that tastes good? Maybe 'tasty', or 'wonderful' or 'delicious'? You like 'delicious'? Ok!)

'The dinner tastes delicious.'

(What do they eat DS? Different dinosaurs ate different things. I think Eddie is probably a 'Herbivore' that just eats plants, or the animals would probably be afraid he would eat them, what do you think? What sort of plants would he eat?)

Blah blah blah, you get the idea! It's a tricky line to walk between not wanting to put him off the whole thing by being critical and making him 'work' (writing stories should be fun!) and helping him to see how they could be improved without taking over. If you can spare the paper make a physical 'book' out of his stories with the pages stapled together, or fastened with those paper binding tag things. Keep it on his book shelf and read it with him sometimes. He'll feel proud of it, and hopefully motivated to keep writing. I loved writing stories with my mum when I was little.

BluebirdHill · 05/05/2020 00:48

Check out Jane Considine's YouTube channel The Training Space - she does an English lesson called Sentence Stackers every morning live at 9.45 (but you can watch any time) where the kids are asked to watch a short film like the Pixar shorts with no dialogue and write a 'chunk' of the story they see. It works really well and would give him a framework for describing actions, feelings and so on. All primary ages do it.

Headbangersandmash · 05/05/2020 00:52

I'm not a teacher but this is my experience

Schools don't just ask kids to write a story about dinosaurs.

They spend some time thinking about interesting words to describe dinosaurs - how they look, behave etc The teacher might write some of these words on the board as a "reminder" and to help spelling. The words might be like gigantic, fearsome, scaly....

If it's a story rather than a description then they might be encouraged to write a paragraph (2 sentences) to introduce the character, a paragraph where something happens to the dinosaur and a paragraph where the problem is resolved. Having a structure helps focus more on the actual writing rather than what to write which is something that professional writers find hard enough.

In y2 my kids spent time writing recipes that they'd done in class to reinforce beginning/middle/end and wrote other "templates" pieces like retelling a story that they knew well like the Three Little Pigs. After a term that assignment would turn into writing an alternative ending.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 05/05/2020 00:56

I think practise making up stories with your child verbally whilst you write them down would be good.

Focus on a beginning, middle and end.

Help make mini stories which are joined up ideas and make sense.

Read stories together and help identify parts of the story.

Beechview · 05/05/2020 00:57

What kind of tv programmes does he watch? My kids used to get lots of ideas from films and cartoons like The Land Before Time, as well as books.