Parents helping with homework - when did this become such a big thing?

[JessieMcJessie]

I read a lot on MN about parents helping with homework and having to put aside chunks of their day to do it. I was at school in the eighties and I literally can't think of one occasion when either parent helped me with homework. I do remember my Dad having to sign some jotters after I had (for example) answered 10 maths questions or something, but he wasn't supposed to check the answers and I'm not sure what the signing was meant to achieve. I am fairly sure that if I had asked for help I would have been told that it was defeating the purpose if they helped me!

I was educated in the Scottish state school comprehensive system. I got an A in every exam I ever did and went to Cambridge. DH doesn't remember his parents helping him either, but he went to posh schools where they did "prep" .

So, my question is, were my parents actually neglectful but luckily got away with it, or is this parents helping with homework thing a post-eighties development?

I remember my dad spending a lot of time with me.
Most nights I would read to him and he would help me with my work. He got involved in making things and then when the homework came back he would read the comments to see how we could improve.

I'm nearly 50.

DH is just s involved with our two.

Your parents had motivated children. Good for them and well done you.

It became a 'big thing' for me when I had kids myself.

My parents never helped with my homework either. And I very rarely help my DC with theirs. Only if they have been at it for 2 hours and they are having a meltdown. Or if they have a test, i will test them on words or something. It always amazes me when other parents say to me "What did you think of that maths homework". Er, no idea.

Ha- I suppose I was motivated by fear actually- they didn't help but they were pretty unimpressed if I got bad marks! Never occurred to me to blame them .

My dad was a helicopter parent ( although it didn't have a name in the 70's!)
My DH is a carbon copy of dad!!
Every night he goes through the same routine 'hi son. how's your day? Have you enjoyed it? Now, let's see, what homework have you got? You have a go and I'll have a look over if you want.

I could say it word for word every night!!!

When I was at primary school the only homework I can remember was reading (from reception) and then later on spellings and learning times tables (probably juniors).

I vaguely remember reading to my parents, but as I was quite an early reader I didn't do this once I was a confident reader. They did carry on reading to me until I was about 10, bedtime stories with my dad were lovely.

We would have the odd one off project, usually to make something, which they would assist with if I wanted help.

DS is y4 and has spellings and a maths worksheet every week. I've offered to test him on his spellings but he says he doesn't need my help . DH was going through the maths worksheet with him at the weekend as it involved playing a game with coins. DS knows that homework needs to be handed in on Weds morning so we encourage him to do it at the weekend but I wouldn't stand over him, he knows he can ask for help if he needs it.

DD is y1 and I encourage her to read to us as often as I can as she has been reluctant.

(Maybe all the parents help out so that tutors aren't needed later for entrance exams??)

I never had any help with my homework either OP, and the few times my older sister helped me, I felt so bad about it not being all my own work I didn't ask her again..
Fwiw I went to a top uni with three As and got a first.

I don't help, spoon-feed or mollycoddle my dcs at all except for providing them with a desk- I never had one!!
I do show an interest if they've worked hard, and, if there are good results along with that effort, well and good.
DH or I sign a book everyday to show that the dcs are finished the proscribed work. I never check through it, I just ask "have you done all the work?" and sign, if "yes.".

If they're academic they'll do we'll, if they're not, well, they'll not shine at uni either, and would be better suited to a different life track.

I was at secondary school in 70s and parents helping with homework was pretty unheard of.

I dare say some did. Mine didn't unless I asked, e.g to test me on something.

It just wasn't an expectation then and yes, it did develop in the 80s and thereafter. Step DD was at school in the 90s and it was gathering steam then. DD at primary in later 20 hundreds and now yr10.

Some of the parents seem to dedicate their lives to homework help. Tutoring is also very big to the point where I was made to feel I was disadvantaging my DD in primary school because she didn't have any. Have given in for gcse Maths as don't want to feel have let her down.

I cannot see that it is constructive. You can't have a parent on hand in exams or at work. In a way it is disabling children rather than enabling them and giving them a 'proper start in life'. Somewhere along the line I seem to recall absorbing received wisdom that learning to manage my own homework was part of the learning process.

My parents didn't help me with mine (80s), but then I would never have expected them to.

I actually like helping my dc with theirs - what really gets my goat is the arty-crafty project homeworks that are clearly done ENTIRELY by the parents. I'm crap at that kind of thing, so my poor dc look rubbish in comparison to the rest of the class every time .

MasqueradeW. Bless you. I have been there. Teachers must be able to spot them a mile off but no consolation to the child - although actually I am not sure if they know the difference! I recall DD making a model of a cell a few years ago. What an operation. She did it pretty well but I heard later that a couple of other kids' parents had spent hours doing theirs. More fool them I say!

I did my O levels and A levels in the 80s also and my parents never helped me, I would even go so far as to say they hindered me. Despite that, I went to university and am now in a professional career. I help my children because I want them to feel supported and encouraged and also because I often wonder what I might be doing today if my parents had done that for me.

I'm 31 and don't remember my parents doing much although they would help if I asked. I didn't really have homework in primary school though, just reading and maybe spellings later on so by the time I got homework I didn't need their help (although lots of my friends would have parents help with/do their homework right up to 18).

I do the DCs homework with them because they're 4 and 6. If I left the 4 yo to his own devices, nothing would get done. The 6yo does hers by herself really but I sit with her to make sure it gets done.